LEV
I came back from New York after paying Marcella Spencer a visit, and delivered her a bloody message.
Now I was back in Russia with a steaming phone in my hand because I never stopped trying to reach her.
I was never a desperate man who got attached to people, or who desired to marry for the sake of love without any benefits, but for Rose, I was a lunatic.
I thought gunshots wounds in the chest were extremely painful, but this ache inside my chest was far worse than anything I had ever experienced.
Even when I got sent to a school abroad that mentored young heirs that belonged to families from crime organizations, I went through inhumane training, day and night, but I survived.
But I don't think I could survive this ache that I was experiencing deep within my chest, it was like a hole had been engraved in the middle of my chest, and the only one who could heal the wound was her.
But the one who had created the wound in my chest had been me, I had done it all by myself because I left her without any explanation.
The worst thing about it all had to be how she had felt.
If I was feeling this kind of agonizing pain, then how did she feel when I left her?
That mere thought drove me insane, and I was truly paying the price for my actions.
"The person you are calling cannot accept calls at this time."
I had rummaged through Ivan's phone and had found Rose's new phone number, I tried calling her, but I was always left to voicemail.
I had prayed that she got the message I left for her from Marcella Spencer's baby shower because there was no other way to find her or reach her.
It was like she had been erased from existence.
100... 101... 102... 103... 104... 104... 105... And she still did not pick up my calls.
No matter how much I tried to call her throughout the night as I laid in our bed, she never once picked up her phone.
Even as I sat in the car while I had been heading to a restaurant to meet my cousin, Nina, Rose never answered my call.
"The person you are calling cannot accept calls at this time."
After failing to reach her, Nina had called me to go to have lunch with her at a restaurant at the top of a skyscraper in the middle of the city, and we met up.
"You look horrible," Nina comments as she eats the piece of steak that was on her plate.
"I feel disgusting for what I did to Rose," I admit, as all I wanted to do was to be in her arms, to be by her side, but I had thrown that away.
"As you should," Nina says, eating another slice from her steak as she glanced out the window that had a view overlooking the entire city, which was covered in snow.
"How do I win her back? Do you think she would take me back? Fuck, the twins must already be born," I grumbled to myself, while drinking red wine from my wine glass.
"You are thirty-seven years old, but you remind me of a young child. You were always composed and mature since you were young, and I always admired that about you, even looked up to you, but I'm shocked that you can act like an immature child." She elaborates her thoughts about me.
"Instead of running away from the woman who was pregnant with your children, you could have explained your situation to her, she would have understood, at least in my opinion she would have understood, so why did you not tell her the truth from the start? Did you not trust her enough?"
I had grown silent for a few moments because I was shocked by this side of my cousin, Nina.
But she had brought out many good points about the situation, and one of them had been how immature I acted with Rose.
I began to say, "For the first time in my life... I was ashamed of myself because I was still a married man who was in the process of a divorce, and I did not want to stain the image Rose had created of me. I did not think she could love me outside the image she created of me. In the end, I did not trust her enough."
"Should I book you a therapy session because I think you need it. I'm not joking here, I'm serious, because I know that you live a bit by the old-fashioned way, but you need help, and what I mean is to process the death of Layla who has damaged you, to the point you are pushing away the most important person in your life which is the mother of your children." She calmly explains everything to me.
"But even if you go to therapy, don't expect her to take you back, she will only take you back if she has no backbone. Unless she hasn't already moved on to somebody else..." Nina whispers the last sentence as she directed her gaze at the entrance of the restaurant.
Across the restaurant, three people had entered and all of them seemed to be close to one another, as I recognized them.
Perry was the first one to walk inside as Rose and Nikolai followed him while all of them were led to a table by a waitress as they got a table by a window that was across from mine, but they did not notice me yet.
All of them acted like they were old good friends that had met each other after many years, and were comfortable in each other's presences.
But what caught my eye was the fact that Rose was pushing a dark double baby stroller made for newborns.
She lowered her eyes at the babies inside the strollers and a smile appeared on her face, her amber eyes lit up at the sight of the twins.
Rose had taken a seat by the window as the double baby stroller was next to her, while on the stroller hung a diaper bag that was containing necessities for the babies.
I could not properly function any longer as I almost dropped the wine glass on the floor because there she was, my woman, and she looked more captivating than ever.
The waitress handed them their menus once they had taken their seats, as they started to look through the menus.
But I could not tear my gaze away from Rose as I stared at her from afar, and all I wished to do at that moment was to kneel in front of her and beg her to come back home.
Screw my pride and ego, what was my life without her? Absolutely nothing.
Rose murmured a few words to Perry and Nikolai as she stood up from her seat and headed towards the restroom.
At that moment I noticed that she no longer had a baby bump which meant that those babies in their double stroller were our children, this confirmed that she had in fact given birth while I had not been by her side.
I could not describe with words what kinds of emotions swept through me by that knowledge.
"Lev?" Nina called out for me, but I did not hear her as I put the wine glass on the table.
I had my gaze fixed on Nikolai because he went to sit down at Rose's seat, to take care of the twins, and I almost sprung up from my seat.
But Nina slapped me hard on the shoulder, since she realized I was about to get up.
"Don't go there..." She whispered in a hushed tone.
Suddenly one of the babies started to wail as a few people glanced in annoyance at the sound, but I was ready to pull out the gun from my pocket and shoot those people who found the wailing annoying.
"Get it together." Nina slapped me a second time on the shoulder as my hand drifted away from my pocket inside my suit, where I carried a gun.
Nikolai carefully picked up the baby from the stroller as he gently held the baby in his arms until the child calmed down in his embrace.
Despite the surrounding noise, I could make out the baby's name as Nikolai kept mentioning, "Elio."
Why does he speak with my son with such gentleness, as if they have already formed a bond with each other?
But also why was the man who killed my daughter, holding my son in his arms like he was the father of the child?
I wanted to kill him.
After the baby stopped fussing because the child had calmed down in Nikolai's embrace, I could see how my son opened his eyes and a tiny satisfied grin appeared on his face because he was held by somebody.
Perry also noticed the grin on my son's face as he pointed it out to Nikolai, and the guys started laughing, but Rose had not come back from the restroom yet.
At that moment, I stood up from my seat as my legs carried me on autopilot towards my child, because all I wanted to do was to hold my son.
Nikolai and Perry had shifted their gaze away from the baby as they hadn't noticed me yet, since I was standing from a slight distance, ignoring the weird glances from other people in the restaurant.
I stared at my child who was a boy, my son, as he resembled Rose, especially the innocence in his eyes, but he had inherited the dark locks of his hair from me.
I was a man who never cried because that was what they taught me since I was young, but at this moment, my heart burst with gratitude for a very small human being who I did not know yet.
I had missed the birth because I had gone away to Gran Canaria.
Could I be a worse father and partner?
"What are you doing here?" Nikolai had noticed my presence, even if I had been standing from a distance.
He lifted himself up from his seat while the guests in the restaurant glanced our way.
I did not answer him, because all I could do was to stare at my son that was in his arms as for the first time I needed to blink away a few teardrops because it had been a very long time since I shed tears.
The last time It must have been when I found my daughter remains in the church.
Suddenly, a security guard came up to us because of the slight disturbance.
"What's going on?" The guard asked us, his gaze wavering between me and Nikolai.
"This man is a stranger who came up to us, and started to harass the baby." Nikolai was lying to the guard at the same time as he handed my son to Perry.
Perry held my son close to him as he walked closer to us and pulled the double stroller closer to him, in case a fight broke out.
"Is this true?" The security guards asked me as they thought I was harassing a baby, a baby that was my own child.
"No, I am the father." I defended myself, clenching my jaw, barely holding myself back from throwing Nikolai out the window from the skyscraper.
Most of the time, I would not get into a fight with fists, it was unnecessary and childish as you only gained more scars from a fight, and there was nothing to show off about the whole thing.
But Nikolai was an exception.
"He's not the father, we don't know who this strange man might be. We were going to eat, but he came up to us, and started to harass the young boy." Nikolai explained to the guard, as something like amusement flickered in Nikolai's gaze.
The guard seemed to have bought his lie, as the guard ordered me to get out of the restaurant.
"That man is a stranger, not the father-" Nikolai could not finish the sentence because I threw the first punch right at his jaw as people stood up from their seats and ran out of the restaurant.
I was childish and immature at this moment, but I could not hold myself back when he lied to the guard about the twins not being my children.
He had taken one child from me, I would kill him before he took another.
Nikolai and I fought as I did not want anything more but to kill him, kill the person who started the cult, which ended up killing my daughter.
If Ana had not died from cancer, I would have killed her in the most gruesome way attainable, but she was dead, and I had a lot of rage that I wanted to inflict on someone else, someone that was Nikolai.
I had pushed Nikolai against the wall, but the guard pulled us apart as both of us had landed a few punches on each other's faces.
Nikolai had gotten hit pretty badly in the jaw, as his teeth were covered with his own blood, while he sat back on his seat, and he stared up at me with a heaving chest.
But suddenly his gaze drifted behind me and I followed his gaze, I followed his gaze that was looking at my entire world.
Rose had stepped out of the restroom as she looked between us in astonishment, she was surprised to see me, especially with a bloodied fist, and a bruised lip.
She stepped closer to us as her eyes landed on the twins who were in a safe place in the corner of the restaurant with Perry, and she breathed a sigh of relief because the twins were safe.
But the moment I fought with Nikolai, I made sure to never go near our children, I never wanted to harm my children.
"What's going on?" Rose asked, crossing her arms as she glanced between me and Nikolai.
"Miss, do you know this man?" The guard questioned her as he pointed a finger in my direction.
Rose looked between me and the guard as she was silent for a few moments out of sheer disbelief.
She didn't think we would meet this way, as we had not seen each other for a little bit over a month, to be exact, thirty four days.
"I will ask you again, do you know him? He supposedly came up to this young man and started to harass the baby." The guard explained as her gaze drifted to Nikolai, who could be less bothered by the situation.
Perry strolled over to her, pushing the double stroller in one hand while holding onto the baby in his other arm.
Once he neared Rose, he handed our son to her as she took him into her embrace, and a heartwarming smile appeared on her lips.
But the moment she looked back at me, a frown appeared on her facial features, but mostly she seemed calm, too calm for her own good.
"If this is your way of earning me back, Lev... then get the hell out of my sight." Her voice was cold, but her words were even harsher.
"Rose..." I whispered her name, the fear consuming me, as though it would be the last time I would be able to call out her name.
"Don't." She says as she gently tucks our son in the double stroller, next to our other child, who I did not have the chance to meet.
"If you want to talk, then let's talk like adults instead of using your fists like a child." She speaks to me in a sharp and cold manner, which she hasn't done before.
Rose didn't look back at me or pay attention as she turned around the double stroller because she was on her way out of the restaurant.
Through my entire life, I was never terrified of anything, but losing her and our children evoked a deep-rooted fear within me.
I could not lose her.