Sh
When I woke up I from my usual dreamless sleep again I was faced with my plain ceiling.I really hope today will be okay but i'm tired.Well i'm tired of everything and really I really don't wanna get out of bed but I have to.
After another 15 or so minutes later I dragged myself out of my bed and onto the hard floor of my room.I pushed myself off of my mattress with my shaky hands.I looked down at may hands and they were shaking.
'Why were my hands shaking'i wondered but then I recalled what I did last night.I looked down at my bloody arms and wrist and sighed.I slowly walked to my dresser where I hid a first aid-kit.I unzipped the pouch and took out some wipes and bandages.
I opened the wipe and then wiped it over the cuts.The stinging didn't bother me as much since I have been doing this for so long.After throwing the wipes away I grabbed the bandages and started to wrap up my wrist.
When I finished I pulled down the sleeve of my shirt and turned back to my dresser,pulling out some sweatpants and a sweatshirt.I headed into the direction of my least favorite room,the bathroom.
I really only hate it because I cut in there,I hear voices when I am in there and it has a irony smell in there.I turned the water on hot because I like the stingy feeling I feel when the water hits my skin.
When I get into the shower I let the hot water spray me before grabbing my shampoo and rubbing it in my hair.My head started to feel all fuzzy like I'm about to pass out or something.
"Idiot"
"Useless"
"Chubby"
I close my eyes as tight as I possibly can.I can't let them in again.I let the water rinse the soap out of my hair and then grabbed my body soap and started to rub it in.
"Ugly"
"Die"
"Disgusting"
When I finished I let the water run down me,liking the hot water.I may hate the voices but I like the hot water pelting me.I turned the water off and stepped out,grabbing my towel and wrapped it around me.
I reached my sink and grabbed my blow dryer and dried my hair then wiped myself off before putting my close on.
I opened the door and made my way to my bed and plopped down on it again.Deciding Netflix sounds good right now I grabbed my laptop and turned it on,clicking on suits one of my favorite shows and let myself get lost in it.
Well I was lost in it until..
"Kill yourself"
"No one likes you"
"DIE"
Why do I have to be like this.?