It didn't take much persuading to get Jen to let us go out into the garden and watch the rain.I was surprised by how easy it was, I thought it would be a little more difficult because, just a few hours ago, she had walked in on Lilly and I, a very awkward situation. That was the first thing she mentioned when I went to ask her. Which was not much of a surprise.
"Hey Jen." I approached her, rather in a hurry. I didn't want to miss the rain. I felt like if I took too long, it would stop and Lilly would miss her favorite weather.
She was looking down at her charts. Not looking me in the eye. I should have taken that as a hint to what she was about to say. "I hope you wore a condom." She muttered, but I heard her clear as day.
"What? For what?" I said, completely shocked.
"Oh, don't play dumb with me." She finally looked up to me from her charts. "I saw you guys. I am a grown woman, I can put the pieces together."
I chuckled, finally understanding what she thought had happened when she walked in on Lilly and I making out. "Jen, We didn't..."
"You don't have to lie, Tom. You are both adults. I just don't get the whole, sex in a hospital thing, but whatever floats your boat. I just hope you wrapped it up, if you know what I mean." Her eyes scanned downwards.
My jaw fell, she had been talking so nonchalantly and rather loudly. I scanned the room before whispering. "I'm serious Jen. That didn't happen. You came in and we stopped."
"Oh." She said, understanding. "Okay. But just, while we are on the subject. What exactly would have happened if I didn't walk in?"
I thought completely to myself of that scenario. Lilly and I were like a row of dominos. The kissing, was one domino tipping over. Eventually, the other dominoes would fall in a perfect row. One step at a time. As I thought to myself, I shrugged, gesturing that Jen was probably correct. More would have happened if she hadn't walked in.
Jen got my gesture loud and clear. "Oh that's just weird." She said, kicking me out of my thoughts. "A hospital room? Really Hiddleston?"
I smirked. Then literally shook my head, noticing that I had gotten completely off topic and Jen had turned back around to her charts. "That's not why I came down here." I said.
"What do two love birds need now?" She said, jotting notes down on paper.
"It's raining." I started.
"Yes. I am very well aware of the weather. Thank you for the update." She said sarcastically.
"Lilly loves the rain!" I concluded. Because I knew Jen would put the pieces together. I watched the back of her head. She stopped writing.
"You wanna take her outside." She turned back around to me. Contemplating.
"I know it's late. But she loves the rain. And she needs to feel it. It's one of those things you wouldn't understand. It's a long story."
I explained and she nodded."It's not late." She corrected me. "It's early. It's almost four in the morning." she said. Honestly, I had no idea the time went so fast. It seems like ten minutes ago, we were throwing grapes at each other.
"That being said." She got my attention again. "It's too early for her doctor to be here. So it'll be a piece of cake to sneak you out." She smiled. Rolling her eyes.
"Thank you!" I said. And she stopped me from say anything more. "Yeah, I know, you appreciate it. You tell me all the time. I'll spare you the words this time around."
I smiled. And she looked at me. "I'm assuming you two will probably need towels. She's going to need a dry hospital gown for when she comes back."
I nodded. "Yeah, how did you kno-"
Jen interrupted. "She's told me a lot of stories about you two. How you and her dance in the rain. About her belief that rain is god cleaning up." She smiled. "I would never stop her from going out there. She's my friend, remember?"
"You're the best." I said.
"Yeah, yeah. Go get her. I'll get the towels." She walked away and I ran back to room 126 to tell Lilly.
-
-
I rolled Lilly down to the entrance of the garden. Jen had the door held open and locked in place so we wouldn't be locked in the garden. In her hands were two towels.
"These are for you." She handed each of us a towel. Then looked down to Lilly. "Your dry hospital down is on your bed back in your room. Please, don't get pneumonia. Your doctor would have my head if you got sick."
"Too late for that." Lilly said. "I'm already sick. Someone should probably inform the doctor, I have cancer." She joked.
Jen laughed. "You know what I mean. Don't get more sick." She corrected herself. Then bent down and hugged Lilly. Whispering in her ear. "And have fun." She said. And I smiled.
Lilly hugged her back. Then they let go and Jen patted my shoulder. "See you later, love birds." And she disappeared into the elevator.
Once Jen was gone. Lilly didn't waste one second. She stood up out of her wheelchair. Her body much weaker than it had been earlier in the week. She was sick of being trapped in wheelchairs and beds. Freedom for her, was standing up. Imagine that.
She used her portable IV pole as a cane, to help her from falling. Her legs were weak, tired, and not used to moving. She had me to help her too. I got the wheelchair and parked it in a spot where it wouldn't be a fire hazard. Then stepped right beside her and took her hand. I was her cane too.
She smiled at or hands when my hand met hers. As if she was waiting for me to swoop in and be her cane. She was waiting for my assistance and she found it. I didn't let go. I hung on tighter.
She watched the rain for a second. "This is the storm." She grinned.
"Do you still remember your calm?" I asked. Proving the point I made earlier.
She nodded. Looking back to me from the pelting rain. "I do. That's why i'm smiling."
I studied her. "What is it? What is your calm before the storm? What exactly is making you smile?" I wondered.
She bit her bottom lip. Looking down at my hand in hers. "That's for me to know, and you to find out."
When? When do I find out? I wanted to ask her so badly. But something in my head told me to let it go. She was unpredictable. I knew she'd tell me eventually. I also knew it was going to be a surprise as to when she would tell me.
We strolled out into the rain. That was the only time that she let go of my hand. That initial feeling of the rain drops on her skin. She let go of my hand and held her arms straight out and up. She tipped her head back. The sky not even a shade of lighter than black. The rain brought it to life. Just like it did for the trees, and for nature. And for Lilly.
Flashbacks of Lilly and I dancing in the rain, came playing in my head. Like the first time I found out she loved the rain. The drive back from my audition. How insane I thought she was when I saw her pull over and run across the street into the rain. And how beautiful I knew she was when I kissed her under that lamppost with the taste of water lingering on her lips.
I thought back then, that I loved her. And I thought back then, that the time we had was slim. That it couldn't get any slimmer. That I couldn't love her any more than I did. Looking back at that moment, I realized just how many minutes were in a day. How many hours were in a week. Every single feeling I had back then, is maximized now. Because every second that went by, I was loving her more. I thought there was a limit to how much I could love someone. But as I watched Lilly, I realized, that sometimes there is no limit. That I get the opportunity to love her until I can't. Until she's gone.
Her brown hair was now drenched. She let down her hands and her eyes fell onto me. "Dance with me." She said.
I didn't say one word. I just took her hand and pulled her close.We began to slow dance. The was no actual music. But the tapping of the raindrops against our skin, and the beat of her heart. The two made a good melody. And we danced to it.
Lilly rested her head on my shoulder. And we swayed. In my mind, the flashbacks of us and rain kept going. And for some reason, I just knew her mind was doing the same thing.
-
-
The rain slowed to a drizzle before eventually stopping. We were only outside for a good, thirty minutes. We went back indoors and Lilly sat back in her wheelchair. I wrapped a towel around her and she hugged it against her. I did the same with my towel.
We didn't feel like going back up to the room, so we decided to sit in the waiting room, overlooking the garden, and dry off there.
The sky lightened only a little. But we wanted to the the sunrise eventually. The storm clouds were clearing up. So we knew it was bound to happen soon.
"That was it." She said. In all of our silence.
"What was it?" I asked.
She didn't look back to me, she kept her eyes glued outside. "That was the last time I could dance in the rain." She said. "I thought I wasn't going to get a last time for it. Thank you for giving me a last time."
"You don't know that. It could rain tomorrow. We could do this tomorrow." I said. Protesting.
"It won't rain." She said. "And even if it rains. I'm getting worse. I won't be able to come out here again. I can barely walk now."
"How do you know? You may have one of your good days. Tomorrow it could rain. And you may be up for it." I did what I was good at doing, denied.
"I just know. I feel it. I know i'm getting worse. And I know this is the last time I was able to dance in the rain. I've made my peace with that fact. I'm happy my dance partner was you." She looked at me. "You've never had a feeling like that before? That you were doing something for the last time?"
"No." I answered. "But i'm happy I was your dance partner too." I stopped the denial. I knew she didn't want to hear it.
She smiled. Her smile slowly vanished as she fell into deep thought. "I never pictured my life ending up like this. I never pictured my life having last times. I never thought i'd be planning on going to heaven, what ever heaven may be." She looked back out the window. Laughing softly to herself. "People my age, plan for future milestones. Me, I plan for one future destination. Life after death. I don't want to wonder about it right now. I don't want to picture it. I want to be like everyone else my age. I want to picture life. Wonder about life. While I still can. Because i've never done it before." She looked back up to me. "Have you wondered about what it would be like. If I wasn't dying?"
"Yes. I wonder about it every day." I said. And it was true. "In fact, I have a whole nother ending planned out." That was the little white lie. I did think about what life would have been like if she wasn't temporary. But I didn't ever go into detail. Before I ever tried wondering about it too much, I would stop.
But something told me she wanted me to have a story. Just by the way she looked at me. So I made one up as I went.
"Really?" She smiled.
"Yeah. Actors usually call it an alternate ending." I said.
"Tell me." She said. Her listening eyes focused onto me.
I thought for only a moment what I should say. But it didn't take me long to have the whole plan. "Okay. Well we would get married. And buy a house in the country. I'm thinking, a country side maybe in Ireland. The house wouldn't be too big, but not too small. Perfect for a family." I continued and she listened intently. "The house, would have a big front porch, with these two rocking chairs. And around the house would be a white picket fence. Because it's cliche."
She laughed. "Keep going."
I began to picture it in my mind at that moment. My voice got more serious. So did my ideas. "We'd have two kids. One boy and one girl. The boy has to be older than the girl though."
"Why?" She laughed.
"So that he can protect her." I smiled.
"What are their names?" She said in a rested voice.
"The boy, he would be Thomas junior. And the girl..." I smiled. "She would be Rose."
"Like the flower." Lilly concluded. "Like the flower." I confirmed."
And when they're around five or six. We'd teach them how to ride their bikes. We'd have one of those long driveways. Where we could hold on to them and push them off down the driveway, until they figure out they aren't being held onto anymore. They're riding their bikes on their own." I suddenly felt a tear run down my face. I looked up to Lilly, she had watery eyes. But such a big smile, that I never thought to stop.
"And you'd come out and give us all lemonade. And we'd sit and laugh about something. Because Rose or Thomas would be doing something crazy. And we'd look at eachother and say, we taught them that."
Lilly didn't have to tell me to keep going. I just did.
"When they're grown up, and they go away to college. We'll sit. In those two rocking chairs on that front porch. And we'll talk each other's ears off. We'll get on each other's nerves. We'll bicker. And fight, and make up, until we eventually grow old. And die knowing we loved each other." I finished, and wiped my tears. Forcing a smile. "The end."
Her lips trembled until they formed a smile. The tears in her eyes lingered there. She was about to speak when she was cut off.
"Guys!" Jen came over to us. "You better get up stairs. Someone just dropped something off for you, Lilly."
Lilly's eyes darted to me from Jen. "Do you know what it could be?"
I shrugged. My shift of emotions so quick caused my brain to freeze. "No." I finally said.
"It could be her!" Lilly exclaimed. "It could be something my mom." She smiled. All too bright.
"Lil, just don't get your hopes up..." I started, but I knew it was no use. She was already on her way upstairs. I followed behind her. Wondering, if it was in fact something from her mother, did that mean I'd have to like her now?
Hey! Okay so her mother is going to be coming into the story soon! In a crazy way! So stay tuned! Because Tom and Mary Reynolds have some talking to do! Also, Lilly had something to say before she was interrupted, what did she think about her alternate ending? You'll find out in a few chapters! P.S My lovely cover maker, made me another cover for Falling For Her! If you look at it, the girl in the cover is Lily Collins! Who I thought would be a perfect actress to play Lilly Reynolds! (the name is no coincidence) So I kind of have a cast now! Tell me your thoughts on the cast, and the part!!!! love you all Xx -Ash