POV: Shubman Gill
It was past midnight when Ibrahim pulled up to the hospital. He didn't want Shubman to be seen going through the front, so he arranged for the manager to help them inside through the back exit. His team of security men were already there, keeping eyes on the whole block and inside the hospital as well, making sure nothing leaks to the media.
Shubman and his father walked behind Ibrahim and entered the hospital. It was a grim sight to see. White wall, with blinding white lights. The windows were covered in bars, the outside walls had barbed wires. Shubman held his father's hands, as they made it to the corridor where Mayank's room was. There were faint screaming sounds, unsettling banging noises, of whispers, of loud conversations.
‘ There is never a moment of silence…no one ever sleeps here, you know’ the manager tried to make small talk.
‘ Why is Mayank kept in a separate corridor?’
‘ No one likes that boy. Not the staff, not the patients. Imagine being so crazy that even the worst ones are petrified by you….’
Shubman tightened his grip around his father's hands.
‘ On good days, he's respectful, he's sweet to everyone. Some of the female nurses think he's good looking…but when he goes crazy, nothing is enough to stop him’
‘ He says he doesn't remember what happens to him during those moments. He always passes out after having convulsions. He wakes up and he's back to his normal self…’
‘ Ah…here it is’
The manager stopped in front of a corridor, with two security men. Both of them holding batons.
‘ We have to protect ourselves…’ the manager mumbled as he saw them exchange glances at each other.
‘ Mayank's room is at the end of the corridor. He's awfully quiet tonight…’ he said pressing his staff card to open the locked doors.
Shubman took a deep breath and entered through the doors. He paused and looked at the two men besides him. He was scared, he wanted to go back home, but he also wanted to know the reason for all the anguish. He tightly held his father's hands and slowly made his way to where Mayank was.
The wind was picking up outside, banging against the window, making it rattle. The thunder and lightning made Shubman's heart beat faster to the point that he felt light headed. They had just taken a few steps in when they heard the faint sound of singing.
‘ Stop..’ Ibrahim whispered.
They turned around at the manager who's resilient eyes betrayed him. The security guard's tightened their hands around the batons. Ibrahim listened closely, the singing had stopped. He gestured to them to move.
A slight drizzle had started colliding against the window. The cold wind made Shubman's teeth ache. He clenched his jaw and tried not to look at the flickering lights. The faint sound of singing had started again. The closer they got to the room, the clearer the singing got. A shiver of fear ran up Shubman's spine as he realized what the lines were.
Saathi Re Saathi Re
Marke Bhi Tujhko Chahega Dil
Tujhe Hi Bechainiyon Mein
Payega Dil
O Companion, O Companion
Even In Death, My Heart Will Love You
It Will Find You In Restlessness
My Heart Will Find You
Mayank stood near the window, arms folded behind his back. Shubman stared at the floor, he couldn't bring himself to look up at Mayank. Everything that Mayank did painfully to him came back to his mind. All the horrors he had seen in Mayank's house made him feel nauseated. He still felt the lingering touch of Mayank's hands on his lips when he had broken into Shubman's house.
‘ Mayank…’. Shubman's father spoke.
‘ I will speak to Shubman…and Shubman alone’
Shubman gulped and looked up to Mayank. The window showed a distorted reflection of Mayank's face. His brown hair messily fell over his thin face. His soft eyes were bloodshot and swollen. Shubman's eyes wandered over Mayank's skinny frame, the hospital gown hung loosely over him. Lightning struck and Shubman saw the scars on Mayank's arms, the scratch mark on his neck. Shubman looked down at Mayank's bare feet, which were dirty and caked in dried blood.
‘ Mayank..’ Shubman's voice trembled.
Mayank let out a deep breath, his heart fluttering. He covered his face and tried to calml himself down. Correcting his hair, he quickly turned around and gasped at the sight of Shubman. Mayank felt his soul leave his body, as his knees got weak and he collapsed onto the floor.
Ibrahim rushed to Mayank. He lifted Mayank up onto his lap and shook him softly.
‘ Mayank!’ Ibrahim called out.
Mayank looked as though he was in a trance. Eyes half open he looked dazed. He kept mumbling Shubman's name.
It took a while for Mayank to regain his senses. He stood in front of Shubman, nervously playing with his fingers.
‘ How…how are you?’ he softly asked.
Shubman felt anger rise up in him.
‘ Are you…are you really asking me how I am!’ Shubman screamed through his teeth.
Mayank looked unfazed. He smiled at Shubman's father.
‘ Hi uncle. …My name is Mayank…I'm sure Shubman would have mentioned me’
Shubman's father looked away from him. Something about Mayank was unsettling. There was a horrid smell coming from him.
‘ Mayank…what …why did you do it?!’
Maybak scratched his head.
‘ because…because I love you’ he smiled.
‘ Are you crazy?!’
Mayank tilted his head and stared at Shubman.
‘ You are so funny, Meri jaan! I am in a psychiatrist hospital, of course I am crazy. I am crazy because of you’ he laughed.
‘ Don't..don't call me that. I'm not your jaan!’ Shubman spit out.
Mayank scrunched up his face.
‘ Anger is not a good color on you…but. you are so cute’
Shubman covered his face and tried to breathe through the anger.
‘ Mayank…what's written on the other half?’
Mayank felt himself losing control of his body. The jinn had taken over so that it could torment both Mayank and Shubman. He felt himself pout at Shubman who stood helplessly in front of him.
‘ Say that again ..’
Shubman looked confused.
‘ What….?’
‘ Say my name again…’ Mayank smirked.
Shubman bit his tongue, and looked away. He felt pure rage pumping through his veins.
‘ Oh come on darling’ he teased.
‘ Ma….mayank.' Shubman breathed out, his fingernails digging deep into his palm.
‘ Fuck, that felt so good. You will sound so god damn sexy moaning my name!’ Mayank laughed.
‘ You bastard!’ Shubman's father leaped towards him, but was held back by Ibrahim.
‘ Oh. Uncle, why are you trying to test my patience, don't you want your son to find out what's tormenting him?’ Mayank raised his voice in anger.
Ibrahim pulled Shubman's father away.
‘ Mayank won't hurt Shubman…you need to trust Shubman to play his cards right’ Ibrahim whispered.
Shubman ran his fingers through his hair and tried to calm down. He needed to think straight. Ibrahim was right, Mayank won't hurt him, he just needs to pull on the correct strings.
‘ I'm…I'm sorry about that’ Shubman said softly.
Mayank shrugged.
‘ Can you..can you please tell me what's going on with me…I…my own tongue betrayed me…I ..I don't know, Mayank. I'm so scared'
The coldness in his body was gone, Mayank slowly regained control over himself. He straightened up, he didn't like seeing Shubman cry.
‘ I'm sorry, jaan. I didn't want it to come to this. I just…I just wanted your love’ Mayank whispered coming close to him.
Shubman wanted to immediately back off, but he forced himself to hold his ground. He tried to breath through the reeking smell which was coming from Mayank.
‘ I…I understand, I should have been kinder..’
‘ it's okay baby, being gay is very confusing right …I felt embarrassed about loving you ..and then I kept seeing you, I wanted to see you every minute of the day..’
Mayank was rambling now. Shubman tried not to look at the cut in Mayank's wrist, but his eyes betrayed him. His eyes were stuck on the cut out of his name.
‘ But…but seeing you with that lowlife Ishaan, it…it broke my heart.’
Shubman heard a ringing in his ear as Ishaan's name slipped off Mayank's tongue. He folded his arms behind his back and tried to control the urge to break Mayank's teeth.
‘ Mayank…can you please, please tell me what…what you wrote on it’ Shubman choked out.
‘ I…I already told Mahi sir’
‘ What…?’
Shubman felt hot tears roll down his face.
‘ If you can't be mine, you can't be anyone else's. It doesn't matter whether it's Ishaan, or Saara, or some other person…if you…if you fall in love, your tongue, your eyes, your words, your actions will find a way to betray you..’
‘ What? What the fuck do you mean by that!?’ He grabbed Mayank by the collar.
Mayank smiled as he felt Shubman's skin brush against his. His eyes wandered on the prominent veins on his arms, his smooth flawless skin. He looked into Shubman's eyes, his captivating eyes.
‘ I ripped apart the strings of love from your life. You will …you will never fall in love again, Shubman. Even if you did, you will ruin it with your own hands, ' Mayank whispered into his ears.
Shubman felt his heart stop, he felt waves of anger and sadness wash over him. A scream escaped his lips as he collapsed onto the floor, still holding onto Mayank's shirt.
‘ You should have said yes to me, I would have kept you happy, Shubman’ Mayank ran his fingers through Shubman's hair.
Shubman let out another scream, and another one. He didn't know what to say, his heart felt as though someone had set it on fire. Ibrahim and his father came and grabbed him and pulled him away from Mayank.
‘ You belong to me Shubman! I have…I have made sure of that now! You are mine, and you will always, ALWAYS be mine!’
Mayank's laughter rang through the corridors as Ibrahim and Shubman's father carried him away. Shubman was still crying out loud, screaming, wailing, throwing his arms and legs around. The overwhelming sadness of everything ending around him, wanted to make Shubman kill himself. He will never taste the sweetness of love again. He will never be able to get Ishaan back, no matter how much he tries to.
‘ ISHAAN! NO! DADA DO SOMETHING!’ Shubman collapsed onto the tar road and screamed.
‘ Shubman baby, stop…’ his father tried to console him.
‘ IBRAHIM! CALL ABRAR, TELL HIM….TELL HIM TO …’ He trailed off to a scream.
The heavy rain came down onto him mercilessly. Shubman was on his knees screaming, he didn't let anyone come near him. He screamed till he felt blood and vomit rise up in his throat. He lowered his head and vomited, blood and mucus all over the road. Coughing, he looked up at the two men. Snot covered his nose, bits of vomit and drool covering his mouth.
‘ He…he cursed me, Dada’
Shubman fell backwards and stared up at the sky.
‘ Uske na Milne ka malaal toh hoga
Khud ko lakh samjhau magar khayaal toh rahega,
Aur mein iss Jahan mein ek shaqs ka bhi haqdaar nehi tha Kiya,
Khud se Mera ye sawaal toh rahega.