Two weeks had passed since your conversation with Bucky on the shore of the lake. It'd been two weeks of pure hell as you avoided Bucky as best as possible. Thanks to your parents, Nat, and Wanda, you were able to stay out of his way for the most part. On the rare occasion that you found yourself in the same room with him, he didn't have a chance to talk to you. Autumn always appeared and threw herself at him.
The first time it happened, Autumn ran up to Bucky, threw her arms around his neck, and kissed him square on the lips. You made a quick exit, refusing to stay and watch as she kissed the lips that were once yours. You hoped that was the only time you'd have to see her lips on his, but she made sure to do it every time you were around Bucky. Then there were her comments whenever you were in her vicinity. She acted as if she didn't know you were within earshot, but you knew better.
Autumn was a mean girl. You knew what she was doing anytime she loudly talked to other agents about her time with Bucky. She'd tell them how sweet he was to her and how he'd made her feel so special and safe whenever they were together. The last straw was when she was in the common area with another female agent. You locked eyes with Autumn as you entered the room and she just smirked. You moved into the kitchen to grab a snack and that's when Autumn began speaking.
"Oh my God, did I tell you what Bucky said to me the other night when we were lying in bed?" Autumn exclaimed loudly to the other agent.
You wished more than anything that you had noise cancelling headphones on. Even more extreme, you prayed that a piece of plaster from the ceiling would fall on Autumn and crush her before she could finish her story. Unfortunately, the universe ignored your silent pleas.
"He told me that he's falling in love with me!" She squealed.
Your shredded heart squeezed a little tighter and you grabbed at your chest to try and ease the pain. You slammed the refrigerator door hard enough that the contents rattled ominously inside. You turned sharply on your heel and left the kitchen. Autumn caught the murderous look on your face and had to bite the inside of her cheek to keep from grinning deviously at you. Instead, she let her mouth form a perfect o and her eyes widened in faux surprise.
"Y/n, I'm so sorry. I didn't know you were still in the kitchen. I didn't mean for you to hear that."
"Sure you didn't, little red. Let me give you some advice, bitch. If I were you, I'd take it."
You walked slowly towards the couch, prowling as if you were getting ready to pounce on Autumn and rip her throat open. You leaned down until your face was level with hers and your hand was resting on the arm of the couch. Autumn pressed herself into the couch to place a bit of space between the two of you. You smirked at the scared look in her eyes before you spoke.
"You can stop with the act. Every action and every word is precise and calculated. I know what you're doing and I'm done playing nice. Quit trying to piss me off by throwing yourself at Bucky or talking about how great he is to you. I thought I made it clear that I'm done with him, but I can see you aren't all that smart, so I'll just tell you straight up. He's all yours. Now back the fuck off or I'll make sure you never bother me again."
Autumn took in a shaky breath, but didn't let her eyes stray from yours as you stood up. You gave her a pointed glare and then left her sitting there with the other agent. Instead of letting Autumn's blatant disrespect go, you searched the compound until you found Bucky in one of the meeting rooms with Steve and your dad. The men stared at you as you flung the door open and angrily stalked into the room.
"We need to talk, Barnes."
Y/n, what's wrong?" Tony asked.
"Not now, Dad. This is between me and Bucky."
"What's going on, doll?"
"Oh please, just shut the fuck up with the 'doll' shit!" You groaned. "I need you to get your play thing in line."
"Y/n, I don't know what you're talking about."
"Cut the crap, Bucky. I'm sick of hearing Autumn talk about how amazing you are to her after you fuck and how you're falling in love with her. And if I have to see her throw herself at you one more time, I swear to God..."
"Y/n, I haven't slept with Autumn since before you returned. I haven't even spoken to her unless it's to tell her to leave me alone. And I sure as hell haven't told her I'm falling in love with her. We both know that there's only one woman I've ever spoken those words to." Bucky stood up and calmly replied to you.
"It's true, Y/n. Bucky's been with me and Sam unless he's in his room sleeping." Steve added.
"As much as I hate to confirm what Bucky said, I've been keeping tabs on him and Autumn. He's telling the truth, honey." Tony said with a slight scowl on his face.
You looked at Bucky and paused for a moment before responding. After years of dating, you knew when he was lying and when he was telling the truth. There was nothing deceptive in his eyes. Heat crept across your body as his gaze intensified. You shook your head lightly, reminding yourself why you couldn't let those gorgeous blue eyes sway you.
"I don't really give a shit, just tell her to leave me the fuck alone before I bash her face in. I'm teetering on the edge here. If it happens one more time, I swear not even her mother will be able to recognize her."
You spun on your heel and left the room before any of the men could respond to your threat.
~
Trying to sleep after the confrontation with Autumn and then Bucky felt useless. You tossed and turned, your body refusing to get comfortable, from the moment you crawled into bed. Around midnight you finally fell into a fitful sleep punctuated by nightmares of the day you returned and first saw Bucky. A couple hours after you first drifted off, you were awoken by a guttural scream coming from down the hall.
You knew that scream all too well. You'd heard it often when Bucky first moved into the compound and then again when you'd sleep next to him after you began dating. Steve was the only other person to share the floor with you and Bucky, but he'd left with Natasha for a mission late in the afternoon. It wasn't your place to check on Bucky anymore, but the more you heard him scream, the harder it was to ignore him.
You let a few more minutes pass to see if he calmed, but the screams became more anguished with each passing minute. Throwing the blanket off your body, you left your room and walked down the hall until you were standing in front of Bucky's door. Your hand was poised to knock, but at the last minute you asked FRIDAY to let you into his room.
The room was dark except for faint light coming from the TV across from the bed. The soft light illuminated Bucky's writhing form on top of the bed. His jaw was tight and you could tell that he was gritting his teeth. Without warning, his mouth opened and he screamed your name followed by the word 'no'. He mumbled the words 'let me go' and 'I have to get to her'. It didn't take much thought to figure out what he was dreaming about.
You walked towards the bed slowly and called his name, but he didn't respond. You continued moving forward while saying his name, but he still didn't wake. When you were close enough to the bed to touch him, you gently laid your hand on his shoulder and said his name louder this time. His response was to jolt upright in his bed, which made you jerk your hand back in surprise.
"Y/n?" He asked, confused.
"You were screaming in your sleep. I just wanted to make sure you were okay." You replied softly.
"I...uh...I was having a nightmare...about the day I thought you'd died."
Bucky looked up at you briefly and then bowed his head. You wrapped your arms around your body and looked away from him. The empathy you felt for him took you by surprise, but it seemed your feelings for him were harder to break than you thought.
"I'm sorry I woke you." He whispered.
"It's okay." You looked down at the floor to avoid letting your eyes wander to Bucky. "It sounded pretty intense."
"It's the same one I always have." His voice was shaky as he spoke. "I'm with Steve and Sam, fighting while I try to listen for your voice through the comm. Next thing I know, there's an explosion and I'm running towards your position, but you're so far away."
His voice dropped to a pained whisper and your throat tightened as the memory hit you.
"By the time I get there, the whole building is engulfed and Tony is on his knees screaming. I try to rush forward to get to you, but there are hands pulling me back. I'm fighting against them, screaming, trying to break free, but they won't let me go."
By the small sniffle he let out, you could tell he was crying and your heart twisted once again for him.
"There was nothing you could have done." You said, trying to console him for some unknown reason.
"I should've tried harder. I was supposed to protect you, Y/n, and I failed. It's my fault they took you because I didn't get to you. If I had just fought harder to get away from Steve and Sam..."
"You would've died in the fire." You cut him off. "No one could have known I was still alive. If the roles had been reversed, I would've assumed you'd died in the explosion. The storm shelter wasn't on any of the blueprints and to top it all off, the people who took me were able to make it look like I had died. No one is at fault."
"But..." Bucky tried to argue.
"Bucky." You sighed and sat on the edge of his bed. "Nothing that happened that day was your fault. It wasn't Dad's fault, or Steve's, or Sam's. I'm alive and that's all that matters anymore."
Bucky stared back at you as you spoke with tears still rolling down his cheeks. You knew you shouldn't, but you reached up and wiped at a tear as it fell down his face. He caught your hand and held your palm to his cheek. It was the first time you'd felt his skin against yours in years and it brought feelings to the surface that you'd been suppressing since your return.
"Bucky, I can't..." Your voice cracked, but you didn't try to pull your hand away.
"Y/n, I swear that I didn't lie when I told you that it would only ever be you. Even if you hadn't come back, I would never love another woman. There were so many times that I thought about ending everything just so I could be with you again, but Steve somehow always knew and stopped me before I could do anything."
Your eyes widened in shock. No matter how angry you were at him, the thought of Bucky hurting himself made your blood run cold.
"I have and always will love you and only you. I just want a second chance to prove myself."
Your lips parted in protest to his statement, but he stopped you.
"Please just think about it. I'll give you as much time and space as you need, but I'm not giving up. I did that once and I won't do it again."
"And what about Autumn?" You asked, finally pulling your hand back and dropping it into your lap.
Your mind was warring with your heart and you felt more confused than you ever had. Denying the fact that your heart still longed for Bucky was useless. In the dark of his room, when he was being vulnerable and looking at you the way he was, you could feel your heart reaching out for him, begging you to reconnect. But then there was your brain.
The image of him with Autumn the day you returned, the scenes you'd conjured thinking about the things they did while you were gone, they played in your head like a revolving door anytime you saw either of them. Your heart may still ache for Bucky, but your brain was constantly reminding you to be strong.
"After you told me what she'd said, I had a talk with Tony and Steve. I suggested having her pulled from the team. If this is how she acts towards one of our team members, we can't trust her to have our backs when we're in the field. They agreed and Tony has already called Fury. She'll be reassigned within the week."
"Don't get rid of her on my account. I know how much you enjoy her presence." You couldn't help but let the sharp words slip from your lips.
"It's not just for you, Y/n. It's for me too. She's not respecting my boundaries or yours. There isn't a place on the team for someone like that."
"Hmm." You hummed, not sure if you were agreeing or just trying to placate him.
Bucky leaned back against his headboard and watched you. You avoided his gaze and picked at a loose thread on the bottom of your t-shirt. Even without looking at him, you could feel the path his eyes traced over your body, but it didn't make you uncomfortable. It wasn't sexual. It felt deeper than that...like he was remembering every moment the two of you had spent together and imagining what could be if you gave him another chance.
"I should head back to my room." You finally whispered.
You began to stand, but you felt Bucky's hand lightly grab yours.
"Stay with me, doll. Please." Bucky whispered back hoarsely. "I–I don't want to be alone."
"Bucky, I can't..." Your strained voice was so low that you were surprised he could hear you even with his enhanced abilities.
"Just for tonight. I'll even put pillows between us. I just need to fall asleep knowing you're here with me."
You froze and stared at him for what felt like hours. He hated being alone after he had a nightmare and, since this one involved you dying, you knew that if you stayed with him then he'd be able to stave off another nightmare and get a few hours of peaceful sleep. You could feel your brain and heart begin the same argument they'd been having for the last few weeks. The smart thing to do would be to tell him no and leave. But how could you when he looked so damn lost?
"Just tonight and there will be no touching or talking. Just sleeping." You finally murmured.
"I promise." Bucky said back.
He grabbed a few pillows and placed them down the middle of the bed before you laid down. He turned on his side to face you, eyes once again looking you over. When his breathing began to even out, you risked a peek at him. His face was relaxed and his eyes were closed, but you could tell he wasn't fully asleep yet. He was right on the edge when his lips parted and he mumbled barely recognizable words.
"Thank you for staying." He sighed out. "I love you, Y/n."
Your breath caught in your throat and you turned away from him to stare at the wall behind you until the sun began to rise.
~
Autumn crouched on the floor next to Bucky's door after you entered. She'd hear him screaming in his sleep from down the hall. After what happened in the common room, she'd followed you. She'd watched as you let loose on Bucky then followed you once again to the shore of the lake. Even though you swore that you wanted nothing to do with Bucky, she didn't trust you.
According to Bucky, the two of you were inseparable when you were together. You barely fought, but when you did, it didn't take long for the two of you to make up. He believed the two of you had a bond on a deeper level. Something that could overcome any adversity no matter how bad things were. Autumn didn't believe in that kind of metaphysical bullshit, but on the off chance she was wrong, she decided to take every opportunity to make your hate for Bucky grow stronger.
You stayed on the shore of the lake all evening and late into the night. When you finally returned to the compound, you went straight to your room and Autumn thought that was where you would stay...that is, until she heard Bucky screaming. She was a few seconds away from checking on him when she heard the click of your door opening. As luck would have it, you hadn't pushed the door all the way to and she could hear every word of your conversation with Bucky. Including how they were planning on getting rid of her.
She stayed put even though she wanted to burst into the room to try and change Bucky's mind. Once you returned to your room, then she'd sneak in and talk to him. But you never returned to your room, which made Autumn's hatred for you almost explode inside of her. Just keeping you away from Bucky was no longer an option. She needed you gone for good.
The room had been quiet for half an hour before she stood and quietly headed to the rooftop. She pulled her phone from her pocket and clicked on a number. The phone trilled four times before the line connected.
"I need a favor." Autumn said before the other person could speak.
"We haven't spoken in four months and now you're calling me for a favor?" A gruff voice with a thick Russian accent responded. "I gave you all the information I had the last time you called. They've cut me off from the boss, so I can't give you anything else."
"This isn't about the mission I was working on. This is personal, Demitri."
"Have you found yourself in some trouble, darling?" Dimitri laughed.
"Not that kind of trouble, but there is something I could use your type of help with."
"And what help is that?"
"What if I could get you back into the good graces of your boss while solving my problem at the same time?"
"And how would you do that?" Demitri questioned septically.
"How would you like an Avenger to deliver straight into the hands of your boss?"
Autumn smirked as she looked down to the shore of the lake where you sat earlier.
A/N: Autumn really isn't letting this go. 😬 Next part coming soon!