Chapter Fifteen | To My Friends...
It was a bit of a restless night for Amanda. She knew it would be a challenge but that it was good for both of them at the same time. Not having Parker sleeping within arm's length was strange. The maternal part of her wanted to make sure he was okay.
What if he needed something?
What if he had a nightmare?
What if he went to get off of the table and slipped on the ladder or rope? Parker was prone to climbing things after all.
Fretting and worrying took its toll on Amanda and, by morning, she found herself blankly staring at her reflection for several unblinking minutes as the water washed away her toothpaste. There were faint dak rings under her eyes, but perhaps that had to do with the other matter of Parker getting older.
He was growing into a fine young man. He was gaining interests and wanting to explore more things. Just the other day, her son asked her about sports as he practiced his swimming in the bathtub and possibly joining this thing called a Dungeons and Dragons campaign that one of his friends, Billie, was hosting.
Amanda remembered D&D when she was growing up, and it didn't seem all that interesting if she was being honest.
But Parker was his own person. He needed to be able to express himself and be free to explore the things he wanted to but within reason.
The fear in the back of her mind crept up once again. The omnipresent force that constantly loomed over the disguise that was Parker's "condition" lurked in the shadows and threatened to rear its ugly head every time Amanda wanted to give Parker the freedom he earned.
There was a portion of Amanda that scolded herself for not telling Parker sooner about his so-called "condition" and how he actually came into her life. The other part, the dominant one, hoped she would never have to tell him. To her, it didn't matter where he came from. He was her son, and she reasoned that not having answers to his existence was worse than providing one lie.
Regardless of her feelings, Amanda knew that she needed to start letting Parker make some of his own decisions when it came to his interests. If it was dangerous, she would intervein. Otherwise, she needed to trust in Parker and reinforce their lessons when needed.
"Hey mom! Good morning!" Amanda turned and glanced down by her feet to see Parker by the bathroom door that she had left open. "Are you finished?"
"Oh, yeah. Of course. Sorry. Good morning Parker," greeted Amanda as she quickly rinsed out her toothbrush and stepped past Parker into the hall. "Did you sleep well?"
"Yeah, I did. You?" grinned Parker.
"I slept well enough," his mom replied. "It's Saturday. Do you want cinnamon rolls or eggs?" The look in his eyes said it all – cinnamon rolls. With a quick nod, Amanda headed off toward the kitchen was Parker started his morning routine.
Parker heaved his way up the line he fixed on the side of the sink, despite his mom insisting he use the ladders for everything, and washed his face and brushed his teeth. The newly minted teen stared at his reflection in the mirror and, for the first time in a while, felt like he was a little different.
He knew his hair probably needed a trim, but there was something about his physical body that felt different. There was something about his features that felt like they were changing. His mom had explained that his body would be going through changes as he got older, but today was the first day he actually felt a little different.
Parker decided to table that for another time as he began working on a mental spiel for his mom instead about why he should be able to get a Tumblr account. He went over the talking points in his head.
Selina has an account for her art to better her portfolio and gain a following.
I want to publish some of my writing because I like it and I'm good at it.
I'll be responsible.
It'll be another way to make friends.
I know we've talked about safety on the internet before, and I promise I'll be safe.
The more Parker thought, the more he didn't feel confident in his argument. The teen still wanted to try though. The worst thing that his mom could say was "no," right?
He shimmied down the line and hurried to the kitchen before he could lose his nerve.
Parker crossed the wooden floor, taking in the heigh of the hallway and the vastness of the living room before walking into the kitchen. After spending the evening in a place designed specifically for someone of his size, looking up toward the ceiling was vertigo inducing. That weird part of him felt, for whatever reason, apprehensive as he approached his mom.
It happened from time to time, but that sensation was something he couldn't identify.
The sweet smell of baking cinnamon bread wafted through the air and dismissed his concerns as his mom knelt instinctually and helped him up onto the counter.
"So, I was thinking that we should start working on the hot water in your space first so if there are any leaks and spills we can clean it up, dry it off, and not get any decorations and electricity wet. I know we set up the basics yesterday, but I just want to make sure it's all good before getting everything else in place. What do you think?" asked his mom. A healthy portion of iced cinnamon roll was dished out onto his plate and handed to him.
"Sounds good to me," replied Parker. "And thanks for making breakfast." He inhaled the sweet scent and dared to lick a large portion directly off of the top when his mom wasn't looking.
"You're welcome sweetie," Amanda said in response. "Then, if you're feeling up to it, we hook up the chords and lights so you can be ready to show your friends your new room on your webcam by Monday for class."
"That... sounds great," said Parker, his mind thrumming with a slight, growing anxiety as his question continued to prickle the tip of his tongue. Parker winced as he saw his mom looking at him. He didn't know how she did it, but anytime he had something on his mind, she knew.
"Or... we can do something different," suggested Amanda. Parker looked up and saw his mom's intuitive eyes looking at him quizzically.
"No! No, I want to do all of that. It's going to be a great project," said Parker hurriedly, his heartrate spiking momentarily. "It's just... I wanted to ask you for something. Like... a delayed birthday gift?"
The concern in his mom's brow dissipated into curiosity. She nodded and laid her hand down onto the counter, a signal to Parker that they were going to go sit at the table instead of eating on the kitchen counter. He stepped onto her hand, noting the small blister on her thumb from where she probably accidentally burned it while making breakfast, and let her get settled down at the table before continuing.
"Um... okay... hear me out," said Parker as the argument he had been practicing in the bathroom and all this morning vaporized immediately.
"Okay," said his mom with a cautiously amused smile on her face. Parker cleared his throat a few times before it clicked again in his head.
"Um... right. So, I was wondering if I could start my own Tumblr page," said Parker. His mom's brow furrowed in confusion, so the teen decided to elaborate. "I was talking with Selina and the others during the party yesterday and Selina said that she had one and was using it to post her art and stuff like that. She said I should put my writing up on there and... I... kind of want to."
Parker knew this was a big ask. Generally speaking, his mom tried to emphasize that time should be spend off of the computer and not on it. His access to the internet was usually kept under mild monitorization simply because the internet had a lot of things that he wasn't ready for.
As his mom would say, "The internet is a powerful tool that can be used for good and bad. There are some... different... people on the internet and sometimes the things they put out there are cruel or not for young eyes."
Parker had always adhered to that and only used his internet searches for academic purposes.
This, he felt, was a good resource for him to utilize.
Amanda, on the other hand, felt herself squirm and pale, and she prayed Parker hadn't noticed. That website was the same one way back when that she had found a lot of writing about "little people." A lot of it seemed like fiction and fantasy if not for the fact that her son fit in with the exact categorization of these small beings who lived in walls.
Amanda thought about the conversation she had with herself just this morning about letting Parker have a little more freedom and taking his feelings into consideration. He was expressing interest in publishing and writing. Parker wanted to make more virtual friends because, for better or worse, she had restricted his contact with the outside world.
She had to ask herself the ultimate question.
Was this something that was too dangerous?
Was this something that would harm her son?
Would this thing provide too much information for his mind to handle?
Or, on the other hand, would this prompt the conversation they might need to have about how he came into her life?
Amanda didn't trust the world with her son, but she trusted him. If he was ready to ask those questions and seek out those answers, she needed to let him to that.
Who knew? Maybe he wouldn't encounter anything or ask those questions. Maybe this was a change for Amanda to start formulating how to best talk to Parker about why he was the way he was.
Amanda swallowed dryly and looked into Parker's thoughtful, light brown eyes. He was obviously eagerly awaiting her reply.
"Well, Parker, I think... that you've shown a lot of responsibility when using the internet. Obviously, I would like to be able to see the website and look into all of the options, but... I think we could come to some kind of compromise," decided Amanda.
Parker, absolutely filled with elation, leapt up and cheered.
"Yes! Thank you momma!" he said jubilantly. He threw himself onto her hand and hugged her with all of his might. It reminded Amanda of the little boy he still was.
Once again, she sent a silent prayer that she was doing the right thing.
She suspected she would need to have a conversation with Parker, but not now. Not right after his birthday.
"We'll get everything set up after we set up your space, deal?"
"Deal!"
~~~^*^*^~~~
The next eight hours were a test of sheer willpower.
The hot water was a trick and a half to get set up and that went double for the electricity, specifically the switches that turned the lights on and off.
The easiest part was, in all reality, decorating. Parker chose easily cleanable floor panels and mostly space themed wallpapers. He did choose to have his bedroom in a Hobbit style theme with greens, browns, and little grass patches which Amanda dug up for him. He also picked out a few gardening beds for him to grow stuff off of his balcony and plenty of wires and charging places for his devices.
His area right off of his bedroom on the second floor was his classroom and study area, hooking up the camera and tablet for class. The first floor was the gaming and hangout area. Finally, the attic was Parker's not-so-secret tinkering area when he wanted to create and design stuff.
All in all, things were coming together very well and, by the end of the night, Parker was exhausted; but not exhausted enough to deter him from creating his account.
With his mom's blessing, he quickly filled in his email, birthday, and even uploaded a quick picture he took of himself.
The final thing to determine was the name of his blog, which Parker didn't realize he needed to do.
What did he want to call his blog? His name was already taken, and he wanted to make sure it sounded genuine and professional if other people were going to see it. He didn't want to make it something naughty and have his mom find out and revoke this privilege.
He stared at the blinking vertical line on the screen as his hands hovered over the virtual keypads.
Then, it hit him.
The name was already on the place his mom gifted to him added with a little touch into his mind.
Parker's Place: Welcome to My Little Life
It was suiting, and Parker felt like it represented him in a way that didn't talk too much about his condition. He was more than some fancy Latin name after all.
The screen popped up and, for a moment, he wasn't sure what he wanted to say. Should he make an introductory post? One of his dreams? Did he even have to use that button at the bottom called "tags?"
He decided his first course of action was to send the Tumblr link to Selina, which he did, before electing to make a little introductory post. It was polite after all.
Nerves and excitement starting to make him feel jittery, Parker began typing.
"To my friends... Hey there! My name is Parker and I'm a little new here. I like writing, poetry, tinkering, and I stream games and stuff from time to time. I'm also a bit of a space nerd and I usually have a favorite book every month, but my all time favorite is probably The Hobbit.
"I hope you all like my stuff. I'm just putting it out there to get over my stage fright (fingers crossed).
"Anyway, nice to meet you through the screen. If you have any story suggestions I should read here or cool art I should check out, just let me know!
"Look forward to hearing from all of you out there and, hey, welcome to my little life!
So long!
Parker"
After staring at the post for nearly twenty minutes, Parker decided to pull the trigger. Taking a breath, he pressed the "Post Now" button and hoped for the best.
He didn't have time to watch and see if anyone noticed or cared about his post. Dinner was ready and it was his turn to pick the movie.