"Aankhon mein teri raatein khatm ho, baahon mein ho har subah!"
Neil woke up after hours of being unconscious. His body ached & eyelids felt heavy with exhaustion when he squinted his eyes, adjusting them to the light before opening them fully. With his head thumping with pain, he looked around to find that he was in a hospital room & Avni was sitting at the chair next to his bed.
N - Avnii? - his throat felt dry as he spoke while sitting up slowly on the bed.
A - You're up!? - she rhetorically asked. Do you feel pain anywhere? Should I call the doctor. - she asked.
Neil just shook his head as he observed her face. Her eyes were red & face was puffy. Neil assumed from all the crying that she had done all this while he was unconscious. His heart felt a pang at the way she avoided eye contact with him & just kept looking down at her lap.
"I love you, please!" - she had said.
Neil felt horrible when he recalled & processed what had actually happened a few hours back. He was in a frenzy then, he had not realised what he was doing & what he was thinking. How could he let someone as vile as Vidyut to make him lose his composure?
It was a moment of weakness, he knew it. And, he also knew that he should have been better. But, turned out he was just as fragile & weak as he had always been. No progress whatsoever! However, this time, instead of spiraling into the vicious circle of his self-loathing, his heart ached for Avni. His heart ached at the way she looked so lost & defeated in that moment.
Neil had always been afraid of death. Not his, but of the ones he loved. He had always thought that he'd lose all those who he was close to.
He didn't know if she was doing it deliberately, but she definitely was fixing pieces of him that he thought could never be fixed again. He had thought that he was broken beyond repair before he had met her. However, that thought seemed to change bit by bit every time she patched the small debris of his fragile heart up. And now, he was afraid. Of his own death!
He was lucky that he came across her. And, this time, he wasn't going to let her go, let his happiness go. Cause that would mean death to him. He was going to work upon himself for Avni! No Vidyut could deter him this time!
N - Avnii? - he tried to reach for her hand but she drew them back instantly.
A - What? - she asked without meeting his eyes.
N - Won't you look at me? - he asked softly.
A - Tumko kya farq padta hai!? - she gritted her teeth as she finally looked at him.
N - Avnii, I'm sorry! I-
A - And a sorry will mend it all? It will undo the way my heart shattered into millions of pieces when I saw you like that. Lifeless & cold! You were so blinded ki tumko naa hi main dikhai de rhi thi, aur naa hi sunai de rhi thi! Do you even realise how I felt? - she could barely contain her yells now. She wanted to cry out loud. The brave facade was too much to uphold. Why could he not understand how much it hurt her to see him hurting? Did he not care at all?
A dragged breathe left Neil's mouth as he watched her crumbling face. Her chin wobbled & eyes glassed up with tears again. He moved to the edge of the bed as he yanked her closer to embrace her.
N - I am sorry. I'm so sorry. I won't do it again. I promise, Avnii! - he kept whispering as he tried to put her head against his chest but she kept resisting.
Avni could no longer stop the tears that fell from her eyes. Her mind couldn't stop thinking about what could have happened if she hadn't found his wallet in front of the general store & hadn't gone after him to give him the wallet.
What if she hadn't reached him on time? Everything would have been over!
Her heart felt constricted at the thought as it became hard to breathe & her chest felt tight. Giving up on the struggle, she wrapped her arm around him as she kept hitting his chest with her small fist.
A - You're such a brinjalhead. I hate you! - she mumbled.
Neil chuckled softly as he kept caressing her hair slowly & put his cheek against her head while he held her closely.
A - I'm telling you I'll never talk to you if you do something like this ever again! - she announced.
N - I won't. - he simply said as he kissed the top of her head.
A (thinks) - How do I tell you that I love you so much that I can not even think about life without you being in it? Behosh tum huye the, par aisa lag rha tha ki sansein meri ruk gyi hain! I never thought I could ever love someone like this, but turns out I do! I love you, Neil. So much that it hurts sometimes. It hurts when I can't help you put an end to your grief, or at least help to lessen it. Pta nhi kaise, par ab main tumko aur suffer nhi krne dungi! I'll do my best to get you out of the clutches of your past. I promise this to myself! - she determined as she hugged him tight.
Neil was still kissing the top of her head when the door flung open startling them & they jolted apart. Neil smiled a little when he saw Ali rushing in towards him. He turned to him so that he could hug him but before he could do so he winced in pain & Avni gasped when Ali blew a punch into Neil's gut.
N - What the hell, Ali! Pagal hai kya? - he groaned as he clutched his stomach in pain & turned to the side on the bed.
Ali - Marne ka bahut shauq hai na tujhe! Aaj pura kar deta hun, aaja! - he fisted his hand to throw another punch but before it could land on Neil, Rhea held his hand midway.
N - Rhea, sambhal yaar isko! Junglee kahin ka! - Neil complaint like a five year old as he squinted his eyes in pain.
Ali - Haan, aur tu toh koi peace treaty sign karne jaa rha tha na uss road par andhon ke jaise! - he whisper yelled.
R - Okay, enough! You two! Tum dono hi junglee ho! And Ali, don't think I'll let go the fact that you went to Vidyut's house to beat him up!
N - What? - he gasped as did Avni. Tu uske ghar gya tha?
Ali - Toh woh tujhe maarke chla gya, main baitha rehta kya! - he rolled his eyes as if what Neil was uttering was absurd nonsense.
N - Ali yaar! Tu kyu karta hai aise! - he pinched the his forehead in between his index finger & thumb while Ali kept silent.
Thinking that both of them won't say anything for now, Rhea hugged Neil as she bumped her fist on his arm.
R - Are you okay? You scared us all, Neil!
N - I'm sorry, Ri! I am okay! - he smiled.
Ali - Look at these two! Now won't even include me in a hug! - he muttered as he rolled his eyes.
Both Neil & Rhea laughed as they pulled him for a group hug while Avni was just watching the trio with a small smile on her face, however her eyes were still glassy. Neil pulled her towards himself as he tugged on her arm, making her join the huddle. He kissed the side of Avni's forehead as the four of them stood there holding each other.
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Avni went straight home after they came back from the hospital. Ali had dropped them in his car. She had wanted to stay with Neil for some time but then decided otherwise, thinking that he would need some space to think through things.
She headed for a shower after entering her house. Though she was physically there, her mind wasn't really present. It again & again went back to the moment when she had seen Neil walking on the road with his shaky legs & the way he didn't so much as flinch when she called out to him or shook his arms. He felt cold & distant. As if he couldn't hear her. As if there was this enormous glass wall in between them & she could not reach him through it.
She shut her eyes close as she felt the hot water running down her body & working on her coiled muscles. She didn't know anymore. She had thought that her love could heal him but if today was any assertion, it didn't really seem to work.
Avni had never been the kind of person who thinks a lot over things, people, or situations. And, she figured Neil was someone who overthought each & every thing that happened around. He was sensitive & emotional. She didn't know how to help him get rid of the clutches of his past. She was ready to love him without having him love her back. But she was still uncertain & doubtful if that would really help his case.
With thousands of questions in her mind & seemingly no visible answers, she moved to the kitchen once she was done with her shower. She didn't really know how to cook but she had a weird craving for Aloo-bhindi today. It was only a coincidence that it was Neil's favourite too.
Playing a recipe video on youtube, she cooked aloo-bhindi as her mind lost itself in the task and momentarily, she wasn't thinking about how their future would unfold.
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Neil was just lying on his bed when he heard his doorbell ring.
Oh! Toh ab madam bell bajana sikh gayi hain!
He chuckled to himself as he opened the door. But then sobered up when he saw Neela & Ashish standing on the door. Neil assumed Avni had probably told them about what had happened.
Neela - Neil, how are you, beta? Avni told us that you met an accident today? - she asked.
N - Uh, Ji Aunty. Woh, there was a rush biker. So, uh, had an accident. - he stuttered as he went along with lie. Neil hated lying, he could never get it convincing for saving his ass. He was relieved that Ali had already told Bebe that he won't be able to come home that day as he had an urgent assignment to submit. Neil had asked Ali not to tell his Dad or Bebe about the fight with Vidyut.
As - How are you feeling now, Beta? - Ashish asked as Neil led them inside the hall.
N - I'm good, Uncle. Better than before! - he told. Even he wasn't sure if he was only referring to the accident or the time since he met Avni!
Neela - That's good. - she said with a small smile. Acha, yeh dekho main tumhare liye aloo-bhindi laayi hoon. Pta nhi Avni ko kya hua hai aaj, usne bnayi hai! - she told while Neil could feel his ears turning pink as they heated up. Rozana toh itne nakhre karti hai bhindi khaane mein, aur aaj khudse bnaya hai! - she shook her head a little.
N - Uh, Thanks, Aunty. - he uttered as he averted eyes from them.
Neil, I love you!
Though he was a little upset that she didn't come to see him, but he quickly brushed the disappointment off as he thought that he'd talk to her tomorrow about her feelings for him.
Cause, he loved her too! And, he wasn't going to let her go!