Love Bites

To Be With You (14)

"Khud ko bhi main jaan lunga, jo main tujhe jaan lun!"

Two days had passed since the dreadful day Avni had denied her feelings for Neil. To say that she was miserable would mean outright trivialization of her agony. She was wretched & gloomy as her heart felt like it was being ripped apart layer by layer & couldn't stop bleeding at the way she missed Neil & also by his indifference. 

They went to the college together & he dropped her back home, he even brought her ice-cream last night & they talked while taking a stroll after dinner. And much to Avni's surprise, Neil actually came across as calm & at peace. As if he didn't long for her even a bit. 

Avni knew she was being a hypocrite at the way she wanted him to long for her. That's what she wanted, right? She wanted him to be happy! With her or without her! Then why did it hurt so much? Why did she feel her heart tearing apart at his nonchalant attitude? She didn't know!

At the moment, Avni was going towards the kitchen of the Airbnb they had booked for a mid-week getaway. She was confused when Ali had came up with this plan & he literally ate Avni's ears off to get her agree to it. It was only their usual gang & Avni was pleasantly surprised when Neil agreed to the plan at once! 

Entering the kitchen, she saw Neil was already there as he poured cold coffee in two glasses. 

N - Uh, you're here! I was just coming to you only! Had something to talk about! - he said making Avni furrow her brows in confusion.

A - What is it, Brinjalhead? - she asked taking one glass of coffee in her hand.

N - I, um, actually wanted to tell you something. - he said as he traced his thumb across the rim of the glass.

A - Hm? - she encouraged.

N - Can we go outside? Let's take a walk? - he spoke nervously.

A - Okay. - Avni spoke unsurely as she wasn't getting a very good feeling about this conversation.

The bad feeling in her gut intensified with every second that passed between them in silence. They were walking in the backyard of the villa they had rented. Neil was disturbingly composed & rigid. His eyes not giving away any emotions that he was feeling & Avni could feel her heart unsettling at his stoic expression.

N - Avnii, I am going to Udaipur. - he finally breathed as he let the words out.

A - What? - she turned to him who was looking at the ground. Par aise achanak? Is everything alright? - she found herself asking.

N - Yes, everything is alright! I'm, uh, Avnii, I'm moving there for the time being! - he looked at her, face not giving away any emotions.

A - Huh? - Avni thought she had definitely misheard what he said.

N - I'll continue my college from there. And, I...I'll be leaving tomorrow! - he inhaled deeply while looking at her.

And Avni couldn't decide if she wanted to laugh or cry at the predicament. She had no qualms into begging him to stay, but what was even the point? She could retain him, but she couldn't retain his heart! Waves of forlorn & vulnerability hit her system as she processed the news he just broke. She felt like she was being stranded in a dark forest. All alone. Lonely. She was being stranded in the dark brown forest of his eyes  when he clearly wanted to move on.

A - Great! Best of luck! - she gave him a forced smile as she turned around to move inside the villa. The frustration & helplessness turning into anger now.