"Maine khwabon mein tumhara noor dekha hai, Dil ne bhi tumko kahin toh, zaroor dekha hai!"
Two days had passed since the picnic & the last two days had been fairly uneventful. The Sunday after the picnic was spent while resting & the Monday thereafter kept both Avni & Neil busy with the classes & assignments.
It was just quarter left to midnight when Neil had finished his assignment & had retired to bed. He was tired but not sleepy. So, thinking that some music might help, he plugged his earphones as he played some song on his phone. However, before he could lose himself to a sweet slumber, his doorbell rang.
An involuntary smile spread on his lips as he thought who it would be. Smiling, he opened the door only to find Ali & Rhea standing there. Even though he was happy to see his besties, his smile faltered a little, when he didn't find the person who he had thought would be on the door. Placing the cake on the table, Ali & Rhea hugged Neil as they wished him birthday, making him smile again.
Ali - Aa jayegi, Saale! Woh bhi aa jayegi, humse toh mil le pehle! - he teased while Neil just rolled his eyes.
R - Issi shakal dekhne layak thi jab gate khola tha! - she laughed while Neil just waved them off with a grumpy face.
"Happy Birthday to you, happy birthday to you!" - Neil heard as quite a few voices mingled together.
Turning his head towards the entrance of his apartment, he saw Avni's parents, his Bebe & his father.
Still not the face he wanted to see!
But he felt happy to see all of them there. He walked up to them as he touched all of their feet & they blessed him. Neela placed a motherly kiss on his forehead, while Ashish gave him a hug. His Bebe kissed his cheeks as she hugged him tightly & though awkward, his Dad tapped on his cheek as he wished him birthday with a small smile on his face.
"I'm sorry, late hogyi! Yeh party-popper mil hi nhi rha tha!" - Neil finally heard the voice he was craving to hear from so long now!
Avni walked up to him & gave him a toothy grin as she grabbed his hand & led him to the drawing room so that they could cut the cake.
Everybody sang him a Happy Birthday & wished him as he fed them the cake. However, he couldn't feed Avni as she was busy taking pictures.
All of them sat together for a while & talked about how Neil & Avni's college was going & how Ali & Rhea's job hunt was going & all other regular stuff.
Bebe - Neil, Beta! Mujhe toh yeh kudi Avni badi pasand hai! Kitni pyaari hai na! - she said as she hugged him.
N - Ji, Bebe! Bahut pyaari hai! - he told without even thinking twice.
Bebe - Tu usko chahta hai na? - she asked with a teasing glint in her eyes.
N - Kya? - his trance broke as he heard what she just said. Nhi. Nhi, Bebe! Dost hai meri! - he spoke so fast as if he had recited the sentence hundreds of times now. Ab aap apna dhyaan rakho, thik hai? - he quickly changed the topic as he kissed her cheeks.
Though Bebe chose not to tease him anymore, but she could feel her heart swell with happiness when she saw the calm & peace in Neil's demeanour that he had been missing all these years. She knew for a fact that it was Avni's doing. Smiling to herself, she left his apartment along with Prakash.
Neela & Ashish left too. And, Ali had to leave soon as he had drop Rhea home who had strict curfew at her house. Avni chose to stay for a while & had just shut the door of his apartment when she found him sulking over the sofa.
A - What is it, Brinjalhead? You didn't like the surprise? - she asked as she sat next to him.
N - It's been two hours into my birthday, & you've not even wished me yet! - he complained as he rolled his eye lashes in such a fashion that gave them an extra dramatic effect.
Avni almost laughed out loud at the way he always became this needy babygurl when he had something to complain about. Stifling her laughter, she cut a big piece from the cake as she fed it to him & kissed his cheek languidly. Her lips placed an open mouth kiss on his cheek as she then pressed them softly against the hollow of his cheek bone. Neil couldn't chew the cake as it remained stuffed in his mouth when she worked her lips on his cheek. He just blinked his eyes when she pulled back & flashed him a sparkly toothy grin.
A - Happy Birthday, Raajkumari! - she placed a haste kiss at the tip of his nose. Tum bas muskurati rha karo! - she grinned as she watched his ears turning pink while his cheeks looked stuffed because of the cake still in his mouth.
Neil blinked his eyes as her words finally registered & he almost swallowed the cake down his throat as a frown itched his face.
N - I ain't a Raajkumari! - he spoke as his forehead creased & his whiny voice only made Avni laugh.
A - You sure are! - she said as he wrapped her arms around his torso. My Raajkumari! - she mumbled as she kissed his throat.
Neil just rolled his eyes as he hugged her back & rested his chin on her shoulder.
A(thinks) - I love you, Brinjalhead. I love you so much. And I wish & hope that you're always happy, come what may! And, I also wish that we stay together. Today & always! Tum chahe mujhse pyaar mat karo, main toh karti hun! Main bas tumko khush dekhna chahti hun! Agar ho sake toh mere saath, warna koi baat nhi! - she smiled as she thought to herself.
N - You called Bebe & Dad here? - he asked after some time of silence.
A - Are you mad? - she spoke against his chest.
N - No! - he sighed. I just- I don't know! - he exhaled from his mouth.
A - Brinjalhead, they love you! And, your Dad really misses you, you know! - she mumbled as she played with his fingers.
N - I know! - that was all he could say as he tightened his hold on Avni.
________________
It was almost evening now. Neil had just woken up from his afternoon nap as the classes were quite exhausting that day. He heard his door flung open the moment he stepped out of the bathroom after washing his face.
A - Brinjalhead? - she called.
Neil just put the hand towel on the chair next to his bed as he moved towards the hall. However, he couldn't believe what he saw when he finally looked at her - standing in front of his eyes wearing a white kurti that had some thread work on it, Neil didn't know what that type of embroidery was called, but he found it beautiful, just her like. He observed she was struggling to keep her dupatta in its place on her shoulders as she blinked her eyes frowning how the thing wouldn't just stay put!
Neil didn't say a word. He couldn't. Spellbound, he just kept watching how surreal she looked with that little kohl in her eyes as she looked up at him.
A - Oye! Kahan kho gye? - she asked as she snapped her fingers in front of him.
N - Uh, kahin nhi! Tum batao? Why are you dressed up? - he asked warily.
A - Oh! We've to go somewhere. You've five minutes. Go change! - she announced as she went to his kitchen to get some cake for herself.
N - Where? - instead of going to his bedroom, he followed her into the kitchen as she sat on the kitchen platform with the cake in her hand.
A - It's a surprise, Brinjalhead! - she said as she put a spoonful of cake in her mouth. Go, get changed. - she dismissed the conversation while he just huffed as he went to his room.
As instructed, Neil came out in exact five minutes after changing into an plain orange dress shirt & faded black jeans. Avni was scrolling through her phone when she heard his footsteps. Turning it off, she looked up at him as she watched him walking towards her whilst he rolled his shirt sleeves up to his elbows.
Inadvertently, Avni's throat worked on a swallow as her eyes dilated while looking at him. This brinjalhead has no idea how he makes me feel things that I had boasted would never happen to me! Look at those stupid eyes! Why do they always have to look so serene? And, I never thought orange could look so sexy! I love orange! It's my favourite colour!
Neil frowned when he looked at Avni who was staring at him with her lips slightly parted & hooded eyes as if they were lost somewhere.
N - Avnii? Are you okay? Why are you looking at me like that? - he asked confusedly.
Huh? He definitely deserved the title of Brinjalhead! How was this man so dumb!? - Avni mentally rolled her eyes!
A - Bas soch rhi thi ki tum kaise santare jaise lag rhe ho! - she spoke nonchalantly. {*I was just thinking that you're looking like an orange!*}
Neil's frown deepened when he heard her & he just ducked his head down as he looked at his shirt thoughtfully while blinking his eyes.
Santara? I've worn something other than black & blue for the first time & she thinks I look like a santara!?
N - Uh, I'll go change & then-
A - NO! - she exclaimed cutting him in middle. We're getting late. C'mon. - she grabbed his hand before he could say anything as she led him out of the apartment.
Avni intwined Neil's hands with hers as the cab stopped at their destination. Avni could feel the uneasiness that was visibly evident on Neil's face & his body felt stiff as they got off the cab.
A - Neil-
N - Avnii, I can't. Please. - he whispered.
A - Bebe told me you came to this gurudwara every year on your birthday!
N - That was with Mom, Avnii! I've not been here since. I can't do it. Please.
A - But, I'm here. I'll be here. You can do this. Hm? - she spoke slowly as she rubbed her thumb at the back of his palm while Neil just shook his head.
Avni inhaled deeply as she held his face in her palm & made him look at her. She rubbed her thumb across his cheeks whilst looking into his eyes that had a subtle fear in them.
A - Neil, I know that this is tough for you. I understand! But, don't you think you should keep the happy memories of your mother? Shouldn't we continue the rituals she believed in? - she spoke slowly. If it gets any tough than it already is, then you are allowed to have a meltdown, brinjalhead. You don't have to act tough, not in front of me at least. You need to let all these pent up feelings out so that you can let go of them. So that you can make new memories. Happy ones! Do you think you could give it a try, please? For your Mom? - she spoke as she looked at him.
N - I am afraid! - he spoke, his heart beating thunderously against his chest.
A - That's okay. We all are! - she gave him an encouraging smile.
Neil slipped his trembling hand into Avni's as she held it firmly & stepped into the gurudwara. She wrapped her dupatta around her head before she helped Neil tie his kerchief around his head. Giving his hand a gentle squeeze, she walked inside as she gave him a small smile, though he couldn't return one.
Neil could hear distant chatters of people as some spoke to each other & some read their prayers on the rosaries in their hands. He could clearly picture his younger self holding his Mom's hands in his smaller ones when he used to visit here. His Mom was his safe haven. Had always been! He enjoyed coming to the gurudwara with her & he enjoyed watching his Mom when she helped cook for the langar. Those were one of his favourite memories with his Mom.
But after her, all he felt was resentment whenever the thought of this place crossed his mind. His body worked on its own as he washed his hands & feet from the tap water & then again held Avni's hand who was standing besides him.
The cool white marble floor inside the shrine did help him calm down a bit. He looked at the intricate patterns that were carved on the ceiling in order to distract himself from his constant thoughts. Avni intwined her fingers with his as she gestured him to sit on his knees so that they could offer their prayers.
Sitting on the back of his legs, Neil watched her as she closed her eyes & folded her hands in front her chest. Neil had never been a believer after the course his life had taken after his Mom's death. He didn't really believed in god, destiny, happiness, karma, life, or, death! But, in that moment, he believed in her. He didn't know any other way for survival other than believing her. She had become the anchor of his dwindling unceremonious life as she worked her auspicious magic in it.
Avni opened her eyes when she felt Neil's constant stare at her. She turned her neck towards him as she raised his eyebrows at him. He just shook his head as he kept watching her with his eyes that had started to hold belief in them.
Avni's forehead creased as she nodded her head towards the tomb as she gestured him to fold his hands & pray. Neil folded his hands & looked ahead, but then again looked back at her when she had closed her eyes.
Tere khuda se maangun main kya?
Mujhko duaein aati nhi!
N (thinks) - Mom, I don't know if I have done anything good enough to deserve her. But if there is one thing I'm sure of, its the realisation that I can't live without her. I don't want to! I know that would be the most selfish thing to do. I have nothing to offer her when she deserves the world. I should probably let her go. But, it feels like I can't let her go without letting go of a huge chunk of whatever crumbling pieces I have of me.
Tujhse mohabbat kaise karun main?
Mujhko wafaein aati nhi!
Neil closed his eyes as he bent down to offer his prayer & found Avni already looking at him when he sat back up. She gave him a warm smile & Neil could feel his heart thumping, not because of the earlier anxiety, but because of the intensity with which he felt all these messed up emotions for her. How could he let go of her when she was everything he was made of?
Avni held Neil's hand as she led him outside of the gurudwara, towards the opposite pavement where some homeless people were sitting. She passed him the blankets & packets of food that she had kept in the cab & asked Neil to distribute them to those people.
Tujhe dekh ke lekin
Yeh dil dag-magaye,
Mujhe aazaan dekar
Tu mujhko jagaye!
"Bhagwaan tumko bahut khush rakhein, Beta!" - the old woman said as she pat Neil's head with her hands.
That was some sort of undoing for Neil. He couldn't hold back the tears at the back of his eyes anymore. Smiling at the old lady with glassy eyes, he turned around to look at Avni who watched him with a small smile on her face.
It might not have been a big deal for her. Neil knew for a fact that she was a kind person & would do such thing for anybody she came across. But, it meant a lot to him. She meant a lot to him. Tears fell freely from his eyes when he looked at her. His belief system! His coping mechanism!
Avni wiped the tears off his face as she stepped towards him & gave him a small smile.
A - It's alright, Brinjalhead! We're alright! - she whispered as she wrung her arms around his stomach & rubbed her hands across his back.
Mujhe meri nazar mein
Tu mujhko uthaaye
Mera imaan meri jaan, Hai Tu! Bas Tu!
N - I'm gonna make it alright, Avnii! I promise! - he whispered as he held her close to his chest.