This morning, the men are going to hunt. I usually like to go hunting with my father. He's very good, he's the one who taught me everything. But, according to my mother, it "might be unpleasant". I imagine she is referring to Queen Cersei, the one who will take me under her wing once I arrive in the capital. Unfortunately, for my mother as for Cersei, I did not plan to comply with the rules of the Red Keep. I will do as I am asked within the limits of what is possible and ethical.
My father and the king discuss in the middle of the courtyard of the castle, their departure is imminent. Robb and Theon, from their horses, look at me laughing. I don't know what they can say, and I prefer to remain in ignorance, it may not please me.
I decided not to have THE discussion with Theon. We both know that there is no turning back and that the next time we meet again, it will certainly be at my wedding. We might as well enjoy the last moments we have left without thinking about the sadness of the departure.
I see Tyrion Lannister on the other side of the yard. When we left last night, he seemed sober to me. But, given his looks, I doubt it.
Halfway to him, I feel an arm wrap around me. Theon, that idiot, thought grabbing me from his horse was a good idea. His lips are on mine. This gesture, dangerous but romantic, makes me lose my calm. After his jealous outburst last night and the screams, he made throughout the castle, I cannot allow anyone to see me with him. And especially not that way.
I free myself of his grip, my cheeks are red.
"Never do that again..."
"You don't like my lips anymore?"
"Do it again and it will be the last thing they kiss!"
"I take the risk!"
I don't even wait for him to lean over to me to lend a hand on the horse's train. In a whining, the animal goes at full speed, taking Theon and his arrogance with him.
I am reassured that Joffrey was not around. I would not have put up with it at such an hour of the day.
"You have a sponsor, Lady Stark" says Tyrion to me once I've regained my wits.
"And you're a drunk, Lord Lannister."
I come to settle next to him, on a small stone wall.
"Good evening?" I ask.
"I may have slightly abused the drink."
I laugh. I love this little man. What's interesting about him is that he seems, at first glance, to care about nothing. But, if one takes the time, he carries in him a great suffering that makes him endearing.
"So, Theon Greyjoy?" he asks.
"Have you ever been to the Iron Islands, Tyrion?"
He's shaking his head as a respond.
"Well, neither do I... But I feel like I'm there. The Ironborns are pirates, they take wives and slaves wherever they want. An Ironborn becomes a man when he kills his first enemy. From my point of view, they are barbarians. From Theon's point of view, it is his homeland. He may have been here for years, raised by my father, but he wants to become «a real Ironborn».
"Do you like him?"
All his brothers died in a rebellion lost in advance against an enemy who was not. His own father got rid of him. I never told him, but his sister, Yara, is designated as the future queen... If we don't love him, who will?
"No more feelings. I will marry your nephew..."
"Many kings have had mistresses" Tyrion answers. Robert has more bastards than legitimate children.
"Theon doesn't deserve... BRAN!"
♐︎
Kneeling next to the inert body of my little brother, I cry without knowing what to do. My body is paralyzed by fear, I don't even dare touch him to make sure he's still alive. And if he is, it's a miracle.
"Is... he alive?" I ask Maester Luwin.
The old man recovers after taking Bran's pulse. For his only answer, he nods and signals the two guards to take my brother to his room. Still kneeling on the floor, I watch my little brother leave without adding a word. If he's alive, it's hanging by a thread. A thin, fragile thread.
I feel a hand on my shoulder, it's Tyrion. It reminds me that, my mother at Bran's bedside and my father at the hunt, I am the person in charge of this castle. I get up, a little sad smile on my face and turn to the soldiers who joined us waiting for orders.
"Sent a man to get my father, he must come back as soon as possible. I want this tower inspected, Bran knew it by heart, he couldn't fall for no reason. And tell Septa Mordanne to take over Rickon.
"Yes, ma'am."
Tyrion, who has not taken his eyes off me, approaches me again.
"You don't have to..."
"In my father's absence, I make that kind of decision."
"Would you like me to come with you?"
"Come with me? Where?"
"See your brother."
"My mother is with him... And... I can't."
I thought he would insist but Tyrion adds nothing more. I think he understood that I'm just scared. Some would say I'm a coward, I'll admit, I should be at my little brother's bedside. But this fear... No one would dare face it.
♐︎
Since Bran's accident a few days ago, Winterfell has been idling. We all live in expectation of his awakening or, rather, in fear that he will not wake up.
My mother spent every day and every night at his bedside, I don't think she slept a single second. Personally, I try not to let my concern appear. I continue to smile and laugh, attaching myself to my brother's weak breath.
As I go to the great hall for lunch, I find myself facing a most unprecedented scene. Tyrion, my new friend and future uncle has just repeatedly slapped Joffrey, my new enemy and future husband. I do not know what he had just uttered as insanity, but it is one of the most satisfying things I have ever seen.
I join Tyrion before he enters the great hall, a big smile on his face.
"Sir! Does this happen often?"
"Lady Stark... But you're amused! I thought you liked my nephew."
"I don't think I hate him."
We continue our way to the table where the queen and her children are already, as well as Jaime.
"Majesty, Lord Jaime."
"Lady Diana!" he exclaims with a smile. Please settle down.
"On this chair that belongs to me? Gladly."
I listen to the little family talk for a moment without adding anything. They don't ask me questions, I don't ask them, and that suits me very well. Finally a little while during which nobody will tell me about my brother in agony.
"Lady Diana, call me Cersei. Have you seen the prince this morning?"
Forget what I just said. Apparently, I will not have peace today.
"Yes, Majesty. If I am not mistaken, he went to pay his respects to my mother... She hasn't left Bran since..."
"Will Bran die?" asks Princess Myrcella.
"No... Mestre Luwin thinks he can survive, but he may never walk again."
"Oh... I'm sorry."
I answer her with a simple smile. The queen's two youngest children are nothing like Joffrey. Although the prince has always been correct with me, this was not the case earlier with Tyrion and it never is with the Hound. Myrcella and Tommen are deeply nice, very pleasant.
"Excuse me" I throw out a few minutes later. "This first family meal was nice but... It's time for my minute of meditation."
"Where are you going?" Tommen asks.
"To Bran. I will let you know if there is any news."
After a small bow quickly executed, I leave the room as soon as possible. When I told Myrcella that Bran would survive, she smiled, relieved. It makes me happy to see that he managed to make friends. Nevertheless, I could not miss the looks that Jaime and Cersei exchanged. It does not tell me anything good.
♐︎
Since Bran was bedridden, I've only seen him once: the day of the accident, with my father. After that, I checked in with Maester Luwin and I never went into his room again. Today I don't go either.
I prefer to go to the Sacred Wood. Only the Starks are allowed in, so there is little chance anyone will bother me. I sit on the ground and look at my reflection in the water. I find myself cowardly not to dare approach Bran. I love him with all my heart, but I can't get used to the idea that I couldn't have saved him.
My right side is full of heat, human heat. Robb, one of the only people who could come to disturb me, disturbs me.
"She's mad at me, isn't she?" I ask for a blank goal.
"She hates you."
"Let her be reassured, so am I!" I rise to see my brother.
"Nobody could have helped him" said Robb. "Even if you had arrived on time, you couldn't have caught him."
"He won't wake up until I leave... I'll never see him again."
"He's not going to die!" Robb angrily takes my two arms to make me look at him. He is angry. Not because I didn't go to see our little brother but because I implied that he might never wake up.
"I know" I end up answering with my hands off. "But I leave, and he stays. My chances of seeing him again one day are very small."
"We'll meet again, Diana. We'll come to King's Landing for your wedding."
My wedding... My damn wedding with the damn Prince Joffrey in this damn capital.
"Something is wrong, Robb. There is something illogical about this story. Bran could not slip, it never happened to him."
"But he slipped."
"I think that someone..."
"Who would want to kill a ten-year-old boy?"
Many, many, but then many, many people! If I believe my instincts and the physical anxiety of Cersei and Jaime this morning, they have something to do with this. Any man envious of my father's place could have attempted to murder Bran, giving Ned Stark a good reason to stay in the North.
A lot of people could kill a ten-year-old boy.
"No one" I finally answer.
"Bran slipped. These things happen."
Not to him.
♐︎
"You are the future governor of the North" I say to Robb after an endless silence. "When I marry Joffrey, I will lose that title. And it belongs to you."
"I will act accordingly" he says.
"From the moment father and I leave and until the end of your life, all your decisions will have an impact on the entire North. You'll have to surround yourself with the right people."
"Theon will stay with me no matter what."
"Take care of him. Someone must take care of him."
Robb kisses my forehead before hugging me. We are not used to showing our affection in this way. Normally, we throw a few pikes laughing, but I must admit that I liked it.