A/N. Yes, I did put this on discontinued for a lil bit. But not anymore I guess. 🤷
-Izukus P.O.V-
They left the room after a bit and I just sat there. I considered going on my phone but it didn't do anything to ease the boredom. I sat and waited. I don't quite know what I was waiting for. I faced the door and tucked knees to my chest. I look around but generally stay there. Within thirty to forty five minutes someone knocks on the door. I wasn't expecting someone to knock but granted, have I really expected anything that happened recently?
"Come in." It isn't as confident sounding but I still need to say something. Mic pops his head in.
"Hey, dinner is gonna be done in twenty minutes." His voice seems to understand the sensitivity of the subject. My head lowers and fear rises.
"O-okay." My voice cracks.
"I know that you've had struggles with food. We will be there and you don't have to eat it all." He means they know I'm weak and I still have to eat some of it. At least that's what the translator in my brain says. For once I just want to tell it that it's wrong.
"Do..do I have to eat it? I really can't gain weight." His lips seal into a line and his brows furrow from worry. He nods and my heart drops. I lean forward and give him a hug. I needed support and I was understanding that he would supply that. He was quick to hug back and even took to rubbing gentle and caring circles on my back. My eyes tear up.
"Bud, you need to gain weight. I know you don't want to, and I know it's hard. You just gotta push through it. I promise you're underweight You always deserve to eat." Instead of fighting the words, I let them sit within me. Tears spill from my eyes. He doesn't make any act to insult me or shove me off. If anything, he's hugging me tighter. I smile and sniffle. I pull away from him after five minutes.
"You feel a little better?" I nod, which, releases the tension in his brows and smile.
Five more minutes. Five more minutes until they see me eat. Five more minutes until I gain weight. Five more minutes until I have to eat. Five more minutes until I have to eat and not know the calorie count. I just want to get better, I want to be better. One minute passes and I start fidgeting. Two minutes pass and I start to overthink. Three minutes pass and reality sets in. Four minutes Aizawa tells us dinner is done. Five minutes I'm at the table. They seem to have a conversation that distracts them from me. Good. Halfway through their dinner they seem to realize that I haven't touched mine.
They look at each other with worry. I don't move. My hands sit respectfully in my lap. I look down, not at the plate. They finish their food and I get up to dump my plate when I feel a hand resting in my shoulder.
"Sit back down please. You haven't eaten anything." I do as I'm told and carry myself towards the table. My plate sit on the table and I sit in the chair. They sit closer to me.
"Can you take one bite please?" I shake my head. I steal a breath and my lip quivers.
"Please, it's unhealthy that you're doing this. Just take a bite." I wipe the tears that slips down my face, only for it to be replaced. The voice and guilt gets louder.
"I can't- it- it won't shut up." I sob out. This guilt grows inside me and everything feels heavy. I'm wrapped in a pair of arms and I cling onto them for dear life. Mic tightens the hug.
"I'm- I'm so sor-sorry." A hiccup over takes me.
"It's okay, nothing is wrong. You have no need to be sorry." A nagging feeling sets in. Everything is wrong, feels wrong, sounds wrong, and looks wrong. I want everything to stop. I want the hug to stop too. My voice won't turn on or work. I can't communicate what I need. He keeps tightening the hug. My breathing becomes worse and shakes course through my body. I shake my head but no one understands. My thoughts separate into nonsense. My mouth and voice won't work.
"N-no!" I get a word out. I'm proud of the accomplishment but they don't seem to get the message.
"S-stop! N-no." My thoughts struggle to be consistent. It's like I know what I want but I can't piece it together. Aizawa seems to understand and thank God he did. He taps Hizashi on the shoulder and exchanges words with him. He nods and let's go. I take a deep breath. One I haven't been able to take for a while. Aizawa sits in front of me.
"Kid, no one is going to do anything." I told in on myself. I just want everything to stop.
"Kid, are you having a flashback?" I hold up a sideways thumbs up. I'm still here, I just feel sort of like it's happening again. I don't know what it is.
"How many fingers am I holding up?" I look up and focus on the hand placed in front of me.
"T-three." I gasp for air. He holds up a different amount of fingers. My vision goes in and out of focus and I try to focus on them.
"Take your time, kiddo." I breathe. Not a shallow or short breath. I take a deep fucking breath.
"O-one." My vision stops fading ever so slightly.
"What color is my shirt?" I look down from his face and towards his torso. His fingers pinch the fabric as he presents it to me.
"G-grey. Y-your shirt is-is gre-grey" I gasp, desperately trying to suck in oxygen. He nods. For once everything shuts up. I take a deep breath and I'm suddenly calm.
"Kid, you don't need to eat all of it. One bite." I shakely turn my attention towards the plate of food. How pathetic, I want to be a hero and I can't even eat. Tears rush to my eyes and scream at me to let them jump down, kamakazi style. I pick up the fork. I hesitantly pick up a very small piece of food. I let the fork rest in my plate with my hands in my hair. I take one hand off of my head and let it hold the fork. I quickly take a bite before the guilt can overtake me.by the time I swallow it the tears have made their way down my face.
"Good job, little listener. Can you take another bite please?" The process goes a bit smoother this time. I take a bite and let it resonate within me for about thirty seconds before taking another bite. I've eaten about one fourth of the plate before I feel full and way too guilty.
"I-I can't. P-please don't m-make me." I put my head down and let myself cry.
"We won't kid. You did good." Aizawa says. I smile a bit.
"We're very fucking proud of you." He adds on. My eyes tear up for a totally different reason. I didn't grow up with that phrase being thrown around. I felt happy. I feel happy. I am happy.
"Tha-thank you." I smile at them and Aizawa ruffles my hair. He grabs my dish and runs it to the sink. I offer but he shoots me a glare and says I stay here. Mic laughs and I shoot him a very confused expression.
"He just does that. He doesn't want you to have to get up and also, all the dishes need to be a certain way or he throws a temper tantrum." That is a sentence. It definitely is one.
"Oh, gotcha." We sit in silence before he returns.
-Time skip-
I wake up really tired. I'd gotten more sleep than I have all week. I look around frantically before remembering where I was. I had another nightmare last night, it's really getting on my nerves. Thankfully I didn't wake anyone up. I dig through my backpack for clothes. I find whatever is clean and toss it on. I sit back down on the bed. I zone out, so when someone knocks on the door I jump. I tell them to come in.
"Hey! Just making sure you're up! How about we head down and get a small breakfast, okay?" I nod, sensing that this isn't optional. When we get down there, my anxieties rise. I'm handed a small plate of food. I make quick estimates of the food. At least one egg, seventy calories. Probably one and a half eggs, probably closer to one-fourty. A slice of toast is probably one hundred and ten calories, plus butter, probably close to two-hundred-sixty calories. That's rounded to three hundred. Three hundred calories. They can't deal with me this early in the morning. I suck it up and eat a piece of the egg. I instantly want to stop. I don't want to eat it anymore. I suck it up and eat all the eggs on the plate. I won't eat the toast. That shouldn't be too worrying. I put my dish away and witness the two exchange quiet words. I head back to my seat. I stare down at my lap. They sit down next to me with a bag. I'm confused about what's inside the bag and why they have it so carefully guarded.
"Kid, we need to talk. I know that seems like that's all it's been recently but this one is very important, okay?" My worries rise to the surface. Did I do something wrong? Are they mad? Did they change their mind about wanting me? Do I have to go back? Is something wrong?
"You didn't do anything." Mic chimes in. Some of my worries ease.
"Okay, so, kid, this is not going to be a very easy conversation." Aizawa says. I nod.
"You know the guy that did that to you, well he's still out there." Tears resurface. I don't want to talk about him. I really, really don't. I nod.
"Well.. chances are that he's still out there. He probably lives around here and there's a reasonable chance that you'll run into him." His voice is gentle. He understands how sensitive this topic is. I'm glad someone cares enough about me to make that effort. My joy is cut short by anxiety rising inside me. If I run into him, will something happen?
"There's things we can do to help lessen the chance of something happening again." Mic chimes in.
"A-a lessened c-chance is s-still a chance." I know I'm right. They know I'm right. They nod and tears escape my eyes. They'd be lying if they said no, but maybe I wanted them to lie. It can happen again, I don't want it to, but it can.
I tuck my knees up to my chest and sob into myself. Memories flood my brain.
"It is a possibility. Kid, we're going to do everything in our power to make sure it doesn't." Aizawas words reassure a small part of me.
"I know, it sucks Izuku." I swallow the lump in my throat. The tears stop. I force my head up and wipe the excess tears.
"I'm sorry. Y-you can continue." My voice eludes to the lump in my throat.
"Don't be sorry. This is hard to talk about." Mic says. Aizawa nods and lends me a kind smile.
"There are tools you can use to help stay safe." He tugs the bag closer to him and pulls something out. It's a bracelet with a tiny button on it. He sets it down in front of me and scoots closer.
"This is a bracelet, pretty simple. But, do you see this button?" I nod.
"This button will alert me if your location if needed. If you press the button you can simply send your location. If something is happening or you run into him, just press the button." I nod along. Fear drenches me. It feels like the devil himself is cowered over me. Mic tugs the bag over to himself. There's more to fucking talk about. A small chip of anger sits beside my fear. My entire life has to have these accommodations now, because someone couldn't keep it in their fucking pants.
"This is a pretty well known one. It's a.. uhm.." He looks towards Aizawa, wondering how he showed me the last one. He seems scared of saying the name, like it'll break me.
"This is a rape whistle. You blow into it and it emits a loud sound, it gets heroes and polices attention." I focus on the words spoken. I understand how important this is. I untuck my knees and let my hands rest in my lap.
Aizawa speaks next. "This kid is called a kubotan. You just jab it into them, get it?" I nod and he has a sad smile on his face.
"Kid, all of this aside. Are you doing okay?" I turn shakely to him.
"I-I don't know. A-am I supposed to k-know?" Anxiety overtakes my brain. My hands head up to my ears and my legs go up to my chest. My head tucked into my knees, creating an almost perfect circle. My breathing picks up but I cool it down quickly. I don't want to bother them anymore.
"Izuku, take a deep breath. You're safe." I hear Mic speak, it doesn't do much but it does bring me back to my senses. I take a deep breath. I let myself take in my surroundings, taking note that I'm not anywhere dangerous. Once I've calmed down, I return to my normal posture and stature.
"You okay now?" I nod.
"Okay. Kiddo, we've seen your flashbacks first hand. We think it's a good idea for you to see a therapist or get sent to a treatment center or-" I freeze.
"N-no treatment centers! N-no psych ward! Please, please no." I start begging them with incoherent mumbles and speeches.
"Izuku, you don't have to go if you don't want to. I promise. We won't make you go." Aizawa discloses. I take a deep breath and calm myself down.
"I'm sorry." My head rests in my hands.
"Stop saying sorry, you have nothing to be sorry for." Mic replies.
"Okay, I'm sorry." I earn a chuckle from the two men as I whip my hand to my mouth.
"Alright. Do you feel comfortable discussing therapy options and such with us?" I nod in reply to Aizawa's questions.
"Do you want maybe a female therapist? Maybe it would make you feel safer as opposed to a male one." I take the words into consideration. I suppose I would feel a lot better being alone in a room with a woman rather than a man. I nod and he smiles.
"Would you be open to medication?" I nod.
"Lastly, is there anything you think we should know about?" A chill runs down my spine. They don't need to know. No one needed to know. No one has to know. No one will know. No one should know. Maybe it's okay to tell them though. They've never been cruel. They've been patient and sweet and understanding.
"Alright kid, I'm taking that silence as a yes. What is it?" I shake my head.
"Izuku, if it's something important, you should tell us. We can and will help you, but we need to know. We won't judge." Mic assured. I head to a corner in the room and dig through my backpack. I bring a bag to the table. It's non-see through and is pure black. It's a small cheap bag. I unzip it and dump the multiple bottles of pills and blades along with notes onto the table. The rattle of the pills in the bottle sound like symbols of death. I know I won't get in trouble for this, right?
"What are these Izuku. What the fuck is this for?" Tears flood Mics and Aizawa's vision. It soon fogs mine as well. I was wrong, I'm going to get yelled at. I'm in trouble. I shouldn't have told them.
"P-please don't be m-mad!" They turn to me as if they'd seen a ghost.
"We're not mad. We're just very scared and worried. Now, what are these for." Aizawa says. Tears fall from his eyes and a ping of guilt hits me.
"Are they for what we think they're for?" Mic asks. I nod. My blood stills as they get up. Fear and adrenaline replaces my brain and heart. I stand there frozen.
"Can we give you a hug?" I hear them ask. I slowly nod. Not even halfway through the first shake of this nod and they immediately leap onto me. I don't know whether to feel suffocated or loved. Guilt sags in my chest as they cry. I caused them to.
"D-don't cry! I'm s-sorry." They didn't acknowledge anything and just kept hugging me. After ten minutes Mic pulls away and wipes his eyes. Aizawa follows suit.
"If you ever feel the need to do that, please come to us. Please. Or if you want to do anything of that sort, you tell us." I nod at Aizawa's mini-speech. We move to the couch. They sit with me in between them. I feel sort of out of place, but less than I did before. Immediately, when they grab a blanket and place it across us, I feel uncomfortable. I can't see their arms, I can't see their legs, I can't see them. I curl my legs up to my chest. They seem to understand the cause of me being uncomfortable and set their arm in their laps, outside of the blanket. Aizawa sits with his head resting on his fist and his other hand on his lap. They both look fairly undisturbed. I smile. I don't uncurl myself, but I don't feel like I'm in any danger. Five minutes go by and Mic starts freaking out about the television show.
"Oh come on! Joan soo should've been with Jake, Bryan sucks! He was such a jerk to her." Aizawa seems to have his own opinions.
"Yes, but Bryan changed and earned Joan's love; Jake didn't." Mic scoffs.
"But Jake didn't have to change. He was already good enough for her. I say it would've been a power couple." Aizawa pinches the bridge of his nose. I giggle. I immediately cover my mouth after the sound escaped.
"Oh, so you think it's funny?" Mic asks. I shake my head.
"This is the greatest romance of all ti-" he gets cut off by an overly sarcastic man.
"It's a mediocre soap opera that's been on air for way too long." Mic acts offended. He gasps and clutches a hand to his chest, all whilst pretending to wipe non-existent tears from his face.
"How dare you! This- this! This is a masterpiece, sir!" He's moved to a standing up position. He's gesturing towards the television.
"Well, I t-think maybe Jake should've ended up with Lorain." I state. They both look like they've seen a ghost.
"No! Hell no. Nope. Not even close." Aizawa comments.
"Lorain is good with Lock. No one fucks with that relationship cause it's so good." Mic adds on. I chuckle.
"Hey! There's a reason this show won so many awards!" Mic adds. Me and Aizawa look at each other and bust out laughing.
"It's a soap opera, it's gotten petty awards hun." Aizawa remarks. Mic pretends to fall, and then actually falls. Aizawa hold's his stomach as a result of laughing. Tears flood down his face and I start cracking up as well. We both start laughing till our vision blurs. Mic gets up and plops down on the couch.
"That hurt my shin." Aizawa rolls his eyes so far back, I get scared that they'll stay back there.
"Suck it up." Mic acts so hurt by Aizawa's sarcastic comment. Observing their relationship was nothing like it was back at my house. They would fight, scream, hit each other. These two had very civil conversations. They enjoyed each other and didn't hate each other. They chuckled. I smiled. It felt nice to not live in a warzone.
Heyyyyyyyy! So Imma stop it thereeeeeeeeeee. have a good day or I will put a child's tooth under your pillow and steal five dollars, sorta like a reverse tooth fairy. Or I'll give you my teeth. Idk yet. Thanks for reading. 3500 words total! ✌️😘