Their first fight happened just before Thanksgiving. Gideon wanted to take Taryn to meet his parents. She always volunteered to help serve a meal to the homeless every Thanksgiving. It was something she'd started doing when she moved out on her own. She didn't want to let the meal organizers down by going away with Gideon. She provided half the pies for the dessert. They were counting on her.
"Can't someone else do it instead this year?" Gideon asked gruffly. Taryn so rarely refused him that he didn't know how to react.
"Not at such short notice," Taryn argued, standing her ground.
"This is crazy. Don't you want to meet my parents?"
"Of course I do, Gideon. Can't I meet them some other weekend?"
"My parents are expecting me this weekend, Taryn. I'm all they've got. I don't want to let them down."
"Of course not. So go join them and I'll see you after you get back."
"But, this is our first holiday together. Don't you want to spend it with me?"
Taryn tried to placate him by giving him a hug. But he backed away from her. She could tell he was really hurt by her refusal.
"I would love to spend the holiday with you, but I have made a commitment and I have to honour it. Surely you can understand that?"
"Don't patronize me," he retorted angrily.
"You're just angry because you're not getting your own way for once."
"Oh, really. You've been bending over backwards to accommodate my schedule up to now."
"You're not the only one who has a life, Gideon. I've tried to be flexible, but there's nothing I can do about it this time."
"Do you know how rare it is for me to have three days off in a row? All I want is to spend my free time with you."
Taryn felt a tear come to her eye. Was he trying to make her feel guilty for volunteering for the homeless? How could he be so selfish?
She turned away from him, placing her hands on her kitchen counter. She didn't want him to see her cry.
"If you're trying to make me feel guilty, it's working," she said, wiping a tear from her cheek. She heard Gideon sigh behind her.
"I won't apologize for feeling frustrated."
"So don't."
"Maybe I should just leave."
"Maybe you should."
Gideon never said 'good-bye' without kissing her. When the door shut firmly behind him a moment later, her shoulders slumped. So that was it. Their first fight. She felt terrible. She never realized how much she hated arguing. Maybe that's why she avoided situations that caused conflict. She never expected a conflict with Gideon. Trying to placate him had been a waste of time. She never intended to disappoint him, but she supposed she had.
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The next few days were miserable ones for Taryn. She alternated between feeling sad and angry at the way things had happened. She didn't hear from Gideon before Thanksgiving. She was busy preparing her pies for the meal. She went through the motions when she went to volunteer. No one could tell the difference because she only volunteered once a year. It was great to be able to give something of herself to the homeless community because she knew what is was like to worry about having a place to live. She was lucky she had her own place because a lot of people didn't.
The meal was delicious. Once everyone was served, Taryn tried to eat a bit. Everyone loved her pies. They were always a big hit.
After she helped clean up, Taryn went home exhausted. She was too tired to even have a bubble bath. All she wanted was to go to bed and cry herself to sleep. Her bed felt empty without Gideon in it. Her life felt empty.
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Her phone rang early the next morning. Thinking it was Gideon, Taryn tried hard to mask her disappointment when she heard Kim's voice.
"Taryn, are you up?" Kim asked excitedly.
"Almost," she replied, rolling over onto her back in bed.
"You're not going to believe what happened last night. Charlie proposed!"
"He what?!"
"He proposed to me! In front of his whole family at dinner. Can you believe it? I'm still in shock!"
"You said 'yes,' right?"
"Of course I said 'yes.' It was the sweetest thing. Charlie was so nervous, but he got down on one knee and everything!"
"That's fantastic, Kim. Congratulations! Have you set a date yet?"
"No, but it will have to be after tax season is over. Probably next summer."
"Awesome! I bet it will be perfect," Taryn exclaimed.
Kim described the ring and Taryn made all the appropriate responses. It wasn't hard to be excited with Kim was so ecstatic already.
After a few minutes Kim asked how things were going with Gideon.
"Not well,"Taryn replied. She gave Kim a few details about the argument they'd had, how they hadn't communicated since then.
"Oh, Taryn, I can't believe it. How could Gideon be so selfish?"
"I don't think he was selfish. He just didn't want me to do what I had planned. I can understand why he was so frustrated."
"But you're all alone. Why don't you come over tonight? We have tons of left overs."
"No, thanks," Taryn replied. "I have a bunch of painting to do."
The last thing she wanted was to be in the way of the newly engaged couple.
After they hung up, Taryn felt like crying. She had no motivation to paint anything but eyes with tears coming out of them. She tried to sketch Gideon's hands, but that just made her miss him more. She was going to go for a jog, but it started to rain and she didn't feel like getting wet.
She ended up laying on the couch watching t.v. She eventually fell asleep. She dreamed she was a little girl again and her parents were still alive. She couldn't see their faces, but they each held one of her hands and were swinging her in the air. She thought it was fun, but she wanted them to stop so she could hug them.
Taryn's dream ended suddenly when the doorbell rang.
Groggily, she got up off the couch and stumbled to the door. When she opened the door, she thought her eyes were playing tricks on her.
It was Gideon. And he had a huge bouquet of roses in his arms.
"Gideon? What are you doing here?" she asked, her voice croaking.
He looked tired but happy to see her.
"Can I come in? It's raining out here," he replied.
Taryn backed up so he could come inside. The room was immediately filled with the scent of the roses. There were at least two dozen of them.
"These are for you," he said, offering Taryn the flowers.
She took them from Gideon, sniffing them appreciatively.
"They're beautiful, thanks," she said, not smiling. The air was filled with tension, with unexpressed emotion.
They stood there for a moment, awkwardly speechless.
Finally, Gideon said, "I'm sorry. Can you forgive me?"
Taryn closed her eyes, smelling the scent of the roses. When she opened them, they were full of tears.
"How do I know you won't get mad at me again?" she asked.
"I can't promise I'll never get angry, but I'm sorry for what happened between us. It was wrong of me to behave the way I did. I really am sorry."
He sounded contrite and Taryn knew it had been difficult for him to say the words.
Without looking at him, she said, "You're forgiven. I need to find a vase for these roses."
She turned around and went to the kitchen. She didn't think she had a vase, but she had to put the roses in something. She found a large glass bowl that would fit the flowers. She put some water in it and started to clip the stems so the flowers would fit in the bowl.
"Why aren't you at your parents' place?" she asked curiously, as she started to arrange the flowers. The tension in the room seemed to grow heavier as Gideon shrugged and said, "They got sick of my moping and when they found out the reason why, they insisted that I come here and beg your forgiveness."
Taryn glared at him.
"So you're here only because they made you come?"
Gideon shook his head emphatically.
"No," he insisted. "I was miserable without you, Taryn. I should have rescheduled the visit and stayed here with you. My parents can't wait to meet you. They already think you're a gem because you help out the homeless. You won't have any trouble winning them over, I assure you."
"I wasn't worried about that," she replied, as she put the last rose in the bowl. Taryn had to admit that she was a little bit nervous about meeting his parents, but they sounded like nice enough people.
"So you drove straight from your parents'? Taryn asked, turning to face Gideon.
"Yeah. I wanted to see you," he replied.
Taryn looked down at the floor. Things still felt awkward between them. She didn't know how to make things good again.
"Taryn?" Gideon walked over to her. Tentatively, he put his hands around her waist.
"Can I hold you?" he asked softly, sounding unsure of himself.
Sighing, Taryn lifted her arms and put them around his neck. He pulled her toward him, putting his arms around her. She snuggled into him, feeling tears come to her eyes. Why had she missed him so much? He made her feel safe and warm. He clasped her tightly to him, rubbing her back with his long, lean fingers. She never wanted him to let her go. She knew she loved him, but would he ever feel the same way about her?
Gideon felt the dampness of her tears on his shirt. He pulled far enough away from her to rub her cheeks with his thumbs.
"Please don't cry," he said gently, kissing her cheek.
"I can't help it," she whispered. "I thought I had lost you."
Gideon pulled her into his embrace. He held her tightly as he whispered in her ear, "You haven't lost me. I was a jerk, remember? I'm the one who doesn't deserve you."
Taryn sighed, about to disagree with him when he suddenly said, "Hey, you want to know the good thing about arguing?"
"What?" she asked.
"Making up," he responded.
"Oh," she replied.
Then he kissed her. His kiss was so deep, so full of longing that it touched her soul. It made her feel cherished, maybe even loved. He kissed her like it was the first time, like it was the only thing holding him to the earth. It made her knees go weak and he had to hold her tightly to keep her upright. It was so easy to lose control, to be consumed by passion. They soon found themselves in bed together and that's where they stayed until the following morning.