Cyberfeld (A Homestuck Inspir...

By MumboJambino

345 4 4

A story about a boy and his friends watching an episode of Seinfeld. Mayhem ensues. Cyberfeld is a story insp... More

SID HAS SOMETHING TO SAY!
BEGIN
ENTER ROOM
ENTER: EARL
ENTER: VERONICA
ENTER: ANDY
IT COMMENCES
A NEWMAN
CROCKER'S
TWO'S A CROWD
TOE JAM
BUCKET ON THE HEAD
DEM BONES

MEAN BEANS

18 1 0
By MumboJambino

Earl and his father arrived at their local grocery store. This grocery store seemed pretty average to any other grocery store in the planet, but Earl's father always enjoyed this specific grocery store, Kang's Grocery Shop, due to its cheap pricing. That was what made it special to Earl's father, but to Earl himself, it wasn't what the grocery store offered that drew him into the place, it was who owned it. Mr. Kang was a huge Sega nerd just like Earl was, maybe even a bigger one. Earl and Mr. Kang often challenge each other by playing games from Sega's long and never-ending catalog. Earl knew that once he set foot in Mr. Kang's store, he can never let his guard down.

Earl and his father stopped by the 'Fruits and Vegetables' aisle of the store, picking out the assortment of fruits Earl's brother has listed.

"Earl, sonny, grab a bunch of bananas would ya? Your brother wrote down the word 'Banana' fifty-si-no... fifty-seven times."

Earl nodded, heading to the banana stand and grabbing a ton of the special yellow fruit. He placed them in bags and brought them over to his father's shopping cart.

"Alright, now the list says we gotta get some beans. You go get 'em Earl, I'll stay here and get the rest of the fruits 'n' veggies'."

Earl walked to the 'Beans' aisle, taking in the sight of big tubs of different kinds of beans ready to be scooped up and paid by the pound. The Sega fanboy didn't know what kind to get, so he just scooped a bag of pinto beans and called it a day. Until, he noticed something peculiar about the 'Beans' aisle. Two seemingly robotic creatures were there, grabbing as many beans they could carry. At first, Earl felt like ignoring these two robots, but they seemed familiar to him... like he's seen them before.

Earl built up the courage to walk up to these random robots and began to speak.

"Uh... who are you guys?"

The two robots quickly turned their faces to Earl, noticing the boy and his outfit. Once they started speaking, Earl finally connected the dots.

"We are the members of the Super Special Sonic Search And Smash Squad! I am Grounder and this is-"

"SHUT IT YOU BIG DUMB DUMB! This kid could be working for Sonic!"

Earl couldn't believe his eyes.

"Oh. Uh... yeah! you could be right!"

"So KID. What do you want? What could possibly be so important to keep us from getting these beans to Robotnik?"

"I uh... just wanted to let you guys know I'm a big fan of you guys!"

Earl began making up things to say to Scratch and Grounder, hoping they wouldn't try to kill him, or worse, annoy him.

"Oh well that's great to hear kid! But don't distract us! We're helping Doctor Robotnik build his Mean Bean Machine! And you are not helping! Let's go Grounder."

"Oh uh yeah! Let's go!"

Scratch and Grounder were just about to leave the scene, until Scratch finally realized the design on Earl's shirt [pictured below].

"AHA! So you are working for Sonic!"

"Uh... what do we do now?"

"We beat the boy up, dunderhead!"

"Woah woah woah, come on guys! I just wanted to say hi, that's all!"

Scratch and Grounder cornered Earl, ready to pummel him into a pile of beans. Scratch took out a balloon, blew into it, and popped it with his finger.

-STRIFE!-

THAT'S HOW WE START FIGHTS HERE! BWA-HA-HA-HAA!

- SCRATCH

GET READY FOR AN ALL-OUT BEAN ATTACK KID!

- GROUNDER

UH YEAH SURE. GIVE ME ALL YOU GOT!

- EARL ERICKSON

STEP ASIDE, GROUNDER. I GOT THIS!

- SCRATCH

WAIT NO! I WANT TO BEAT THIS KID UP!

- GROUNDER

UH NO! I DO! I WANT TO BE DOCTOR ROBOTNIK'S FAVORITE!

- SCRATCH

NO I WANT TO BE HIS FAVORITE!

- GROUNDER

WHY DON'T YOU JUST SHUT UP! I'M TRYING TO PAY ATTENTION TO THE BEAN BATTLE!

- SCRATCH

UH WHY ARE WE DOING A BEAN BATTLE AGAIN?

- GROUNDER

TO BEAT THE KID UP YOU HUNK OF JUNK!

-SCRATCH

ACTUALLY... ISN'T THIS JUST PUYO PUYO?

- EARL ERICKSON

SHUT UP!

- SCRATCH & GROUNDER

EEEEAAAARRRLL!

- MARK ERICKSON

-END OF STRIFE!-

"EARL. WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!"

"Oh uh... hey dad! Sorry for the wait! You won't believe what just happened!"

"Mr. Kang is making you play games again."

"Scratch and Grou-wait, huh? Mr. Kang?"

Earl turned his head to realize that the person playing as Scratch and Grounder, was really just Mr. Kang doing an impression and using some homemade puppets. Impressive!

"Haha! I fooled you! Didn't I, Earl?"

"Hehe, yeah you did!"

"Mr. Kang I'm a very busy man. I don't have time for you to be playing games with my son."

"But dad, it was just a strife! My friends do it too!"

"So what? I bet they aren't even real."

"Oh don't worry Mr. Erickson, your son and I like to have fun sometimes! I bet you do too!"

"I do. But not like this! This is nothing but a waste of time! You're lucky I haven't stopped shopping here, Mr. Kang. Your prices on string cheese just can't be beat! Otherwise, I'd never let you see my son ever again."

"Dad, don't be so rude!"

"I'm sorry for the inconvenience I've caused Mr. Erickson. I just wanted to make your son smile. He seemed like he was having a rough day."

"Thank you Mr. Kang. Now let's go Earl. I need to pay for these groceries. Go and get some snacks for your little get-together with your friends and quickly. You've already wasted enough of my time."

"Fine."

Earl's father left the scene and head to the front to pay for said groceries, leaving Earl alone to get his snacks. Earl started to shed tears about what just happened, repeating the words his father said in his head.

Mr. Kang got closer to Earl, checking up on his friend to see if things were okay.

"Earl, are you okay?"

"Yeah... I'm okay. I'm sorry about my dad. He doesn't like the stuff I'm into."

"No kidding. It's fine Earl! You don't need to apologize. As long as you had fun! You did, didn't you?"

Earl stopped crying and started to giggle a tiny bit, remembering his strife against the infamous robotic duo Scratch and Grounder.

"Yeah... that was fun! I can't believe we played Mean Bean Machine, it's been awhile since we played it together!"

"That's why we have the strifes, Earl! To prepare you for any Sega game that comes your way. Next week, we'll play Space Channel 5! Part 2, though."

"I've heard a lot about that game, saying that it's good. I'm not really good at rhythm games though, do you think I'll enjoy it?"

"Of course! It's got a unique art style and good music! It is pretty hard if you want to beat it 100%, but that reminds me, your father mentioned a little get-together, what's that about?"

"Oh, me and my friends planned a Seinfeld TV Night for tonight. I'm the one who's getting the snacks."

"Ah, nothing like eating snacks with friends while watching Seinfeld! You better go get those snacks then!"

"I will, thank you Mr. Kang, I'll see you later!"

Earl left to the snack aisle to grab some of his and his friends' favorite snacks, like Wario Flavored Doritos and Splargio's Orange Flavored Fruit Punch.

"Haha, see ya' Earl! Now, I gotta clean this big ol' bean mess."

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