I watched him as he argued with Caroline. I've been sitting here, watching Stefan and Caroline go back and forth for two hours about the linking spell. Hearing the same argument over and over is beginning to feel tiring.
I left the room, which went unnoticed. I pulled a bottle of water from the fridge.
"This isn't your decision, Caroline! No one could've predicted this would happen!"
"I told you not to let her go! I asked you to keep her out of it! She doesn't need that psycho ruining her life again!"
"I hardly think he was the one ruining her life!"
I felt bad for Caroline. I wished I had never agreed to talk to Kai.
"She can make her own decisions! It was her decision to talk to him!"
"Talking is one thing! Becoming linked to someone is another!"
"This was her decision, Care! And maybe if she didn't want him in her life, she shouldn't have slept with him! The minute they started spending time with each other, she started falling for him! It's what she does!"
That shouldn't have hurt the way it did.
"You don't know what you're talking about!"
"Really? I seem to recall the numerous conversations about Evelyn's feelings for me!"
"That's irrelevant! And it has nothing to do with Kai!"
I became irritated by the conversation. I walked out the back door, going away from the house. I made my way around the house. I sat on the porch steps and stared at the sky. I listened to the crickets instead of Caroline and Stefan.
I tried to clear my mind, but it was full of Kai. Specifically, the little things about him.
He speaks Italian and French. He can play piano and guitar. He loves the Smiths and the Beatles.
Suddenly, I remember every single piece of that conversation.
-
I stared at him as he continued rambling on about his favorite movie. Once he was done, the smile on his face grew.
"You have to watch it."
I laughed, "Fine."
His eyes searched my face. Whatever he wanted to find would be extremely easy to find. He looked into my eyes again. "My turn."
"Okay." I moved my hand from the couch to my other hand.
"What's your favorite band?"
I thought for a few seconds. "The Fray."
He furrowed his brows. "The what?"
I laughed, "Seriously?!"
He looked at my lips. "Yes, seriously!" He looked into my eyes.
I sat up, "Okay... I can't have sex with a loser who doesn't listen to good music."
"I do listen to good music!"
"Like what?!"
"The Smiths, The Cure, The Beatles, Bon Jovi-"
"The Beatles? Okay, I'm leaving."
I started to get up, and he grabbed my waist, pulling me over to him. I planted my hands on his chest to stop myself from falling onto him completely. I couldn't hold the laugh that slipped past my lips. The smile on his face grew. He leaned closer and kissed me.
-
I pulled myself out of my memory. I felt something cold on my cheek. I wiped my hand across my cheek. I stared at the tear on my hand. I swallowed the lump in my throat.
Why is this so complicated? Figuring out how I feel about him is the worst thing I've ever had to experience.
I hate him. I'm scared of him. I want to kill him. I want to sleep with him. I want to be with him. I feel bad for him.
Who lets things get this messy?
...
I kept staring at Caroline, who was sitting at the island next to Stefan. Damon was standing opposite of them. I kept my hands planted on the counter.
"...that's why we need it," Caroline finished.
"But why have it here? Just have it at your house," Damon responded.
"Your house is bigger!" Caroline looked at me. "Tell him."
I shook my head. "I'm not getting involved."
"I thought that was your favorite pastime," Damon countered.
"You're actually thinking of yourself, but don't worry, no one's surprised."
Someone knocked on the front door. Damon glared at me as he passed me. I moved to where Damon was standing.
"This party's for Elena, right?"
Caroline nodded, "Yeah. We were going to have it a few months ago, but things just kept happening."
"How many people are going?"
"It's an open invitation."
I tilted my head, "Why don't you just have it at Tyler's?"
Her face lit up, "Why didn't I think of that?"
I checked the text on my phone. It was a text from Matt. I looked at her. "I have to go help him with something, so I'll ask him while I'm there."
She smiled, "Thanks, Ev."
I smiled, "I'll see you later."
"Bye, Ev."
I looked at Stefan, "Bye." I walked out of the kitchen. I looked up from my phone and stopped completely, seeing Kai talking to Damon.
He gave me a once over before focusing his eyes on mine. "What are you doing here?" He seemed cheery and lighthearted.
"Shouldn't you know?" I kept walking.
I could hear his footsteps following after mine and leading away from Damon. "Got a minute?"
"No, but I'm sure the girls you're sleeping with do."
He laughed. Laughed. "You're jealous."
I rolled my eyes. "Whatever helps you sleep at night."
"You would."
"Go away!"
He grabbed my arm as he rushed in front of me, blocking my path. "Wait a minute!" He looked into my eyes. "We need to talk. We have issues, and they need to be resolved. If you don't want to talk, that's fine. Just listen."
"Unfortunately, I'm losing my hearing as we speak, so -"
He smiled, "God, I missed that."
I tilted my head, "Let go of me."
"Listen first."
I stared at him, deciding what to do. "Twenty seconds."
"Thanks." He stepped closer, leaving a foot of space between us. "First, I'm sorry for linking us, but it's best for both of us. Just trust me on that. Second, I'm really pissed at you for showing up the way you did after me telling you I didn't want to talk to you. Which reminds me, why did you let me tell you to go away?"
"Five seconds."
"I was an idiot for letting you leave. I'm sorry for being a dick. I need you. Like, right now."
I pulled away from him, "Time's up." I started walking again.
"Evelyn!" He kept following me. "You're not even going to think about what I said?"
"Hmmm..." I reached for my car door. "No." I pulled open the door as I turned to face him. "Move before I run you over."
He ran over to my door, holding it as he leaned closer. His face was inches from mine. "I need to piss you off more often. You're so hot."
I tightened my hold on the door. "This conversation is over, and there's not going to be another one. You blew your chance."
"Chance of what?" The perverted smile on his face made me have to swallow a laugh.
"We're not sleeping together. The only thing we have is a link that you created."
He tilted his head, his lips remaining dangerously close to mine. "So why don't you embrace it instead of acting like it's your enemy. After all, it's easier to ignore if you actually try. Shift your focus from our bond to me."
I raised my brows, "Are you suggesting I give up my integrity for the power of friendship?"
He smiled wider, "You can call it whatever you want. I just hate when you hate me."
I leaned closer, my lips ghosting over his. "Goodbye, Kai." I pulled away from him.
He gasped quietly as he let go of my door. "So, you don't hate me?"
I tilted my head as I moved closer to my car. "Of course I do. I would much rather see you with your heart ripped out than that stupid smile on your face."
"So, you do pay attention to my smile? Which means you were thinking about kissing me."
"How do you come to that conclusion?"
"You look at my smile, which means you thought to look at my mouth, which means you were thinking about kissing me."
I rolled my eyes. "Get off my door."
"Not until you agree to stop ignoring me."
"Go away!"
"I will lay down in front of your car!"
I couldn't hide the smile on my lips. "Stop harassing me and go back inside!"
He tilted his head, his smile growing. "Call a truce."
I stared at him. A truce. I would stop openly ignoring him. Hating him wouldn't have to stop, but screaming at him every time I see him would. Sleeping with him would be on the table again. I'm not entirely opposed to it. Except when I think about the women he's slept with. "I still hate you."
He opened his mouth to say something but clamped it shut. He nodded once. "Thank you."
I shook my head, trying to erase the smile off my face. "Goodbye."
He lifted his hands off my door. He backed away slowly. I got in my car and buckled up. I started driving.
I have to stop letting him talk to me, or I'll end up doing everything he asks me to.
...
I picked up the paper that had information about Elena's party that Caroline put on the counter. I was still holding my drink in my other hand. Caroline was explaining details about the theme she chose to Bonnie, Stefan, and Damon.
I looked at the door as Kai walked through it. He's been here for a few hours. He just stepped out to call someone. Someone he omitted the name of. I looked back down at the paper as Kai walked over and stood beside me.
"Why western?" Bonnie repeated her question that started this entire conversation.
"Because it's underrated," Caroline responded.
"This isn't... like... a sex party, right?" I looked at her.
They all went quiet and looked at me. "N- No. Why?"
I turned the front of the paper to face her. "Cowboys."
"What the hell does that have to do with a sex party?"
I looked at Damon. "The cowboy hat rule."
"Which is..." Bonnie wondered.
I looked at her. "Wear the hat, ride the cowboy."
All of them looked horrified. Except Kai, who seemed amused and intrigued.
"When did you become knowledgeable in cowboy culture?"
I looked at Caroline. "I don't think you want me to answer that."
"I want you to answer it," Kai responded.
I turned to face him. "I'm sure you would love a lot of things from me."
He smiled. The other four started talking about the party. His eyes switched to my lips for a second before moving back to my eyes. "Do you want the list?"
I tilted my head, "Only if it's full of arrangements for your funeral."
He tilted his head, "We will be the only ones there."
I rolled my eyes and looked down at the paper again. "Freak."
He leaned closer. "Maybe I should refresh your memory."
I looked at him again. "Maybe you should refresh your last girl's memory."
He hummed in amusement. "You're my only girl."
I looked at his lips, "I'm not your anything, actually." I looked into his eyes.
He stared at me. There was something familiar in his eyes, but I couldn't place it. I turned back to the counter. I sat the glass I was holding on the counter. I put the paper next to the glass.
I walked by Kai, brushing my hand against his as I did. I walked out of the kitchen. Once I was out of the house, I could finally breathe.
His ability to make me want to change my entire life to fit him was beginning to become undeniable. Letting myself become susceptible to his charm was the downfall of my sex life because now he's my sex life. As of right now, it's non-existent. Not only that, but my ability to not just strip completely naked in front of him is becoming weak.
Getting away from him keeps my sanity intact and my clothes in one piece.