Waking up early for the first day of my internship was more difficult than I anticipated. Staying out late with Claire for most of the weekend has drained my body physically. I need to catch up on sleep, but I find it hard to knowing that reality is far better than my dreams. I have the mental capacity to stay up for hours and hours, but my body is telling me otherwise. I have to be at work by 8:30 but, luckily, the office isn't too far from home. I brush my teeth, take a shower and for what I thought was going to be an exciting day, I feel tuned out; I want to be with Claire all summer.
One benefit of this summer internship is that I only work four days a week so that leaves my weekends flexible. I get myself dressed; the company said to dress casual and comfy. This internship is mostly computer science and engineering. I go downstairs to see my dad making himself a protein shake.
"Ready for a big day?" He tosses things into a blender.
"As ready as I'll ever be. Not sure when I'll be home but if I don't make it in time for dinner, could you put it in a container for me?"
"You got it. Eat something before you go."
I grab an apple and a bottle of water from the fridge and walk out to my car. As I'm driving to the office, I get a text from Claire.
"Good morning! I'm at the airport now so I'll get in touch when I land. Have a good first day at work ☺"
I already miss her. I set my phone down and think about our conversation at dinner last night; she really has made a huge impression on me. Because of this one girl, whom I've only known for a few days, I find myself questioning my life's plan and the fact that maybe it's okay that life doesn't have a plan. She makes me feel a way that I've never felt before: alive. She makes me want to do things I would have never seen myself doing a year ago, or even a month ago. She makes me want to explore the world, find meaning to things, fall in love with everything and step out of my boundaries.
This girl has influenced me more in the three days I've known her than anyone has my entire life. It's something we all dream about; an awakening in our souls. An awakening in the way we see, touch, smell, hear and taste. I have been awakened by Claire Emerson. My whole vision of life has been altered because of Claire Emerson.
I pull into the parking lot and type out a response to her, "Safe travels back to the Big Apple. Talk soon."
I walk into the building and ask for James Pitt, he's going to be my supervisor all summer. Just a few minutes go by when a tall, dark haired gentleman walks to me wearing khakis and a white cotton polo shirt. By the freckles on his skin, he seems to be from an Irish descent.
"Parker Layton, it's a pleasure to meet you." He reaches out his hand to shake mine.
"Mr. Pitt, thank you again for this opportunity. I'm excited to be spending the summer here."
"Call me Jimmy," he seems incredibly friendly for a boss. "We're excited to have you join the team. Follow me and I'll show you around before we get into paperwork."
I got a tour of the building, filled out some paperwork, found my workspace and got an ID badge. I look at the time on my computer. 10:15. Still have a long way to go but I keep myself occupied meeting members of my new team, other supervisors and bosses, and get familiar with all the projects going around. As haunting as Claire is, I still enjoy keeping myself busy and find the people I work with to be more sociable than most software engineers I've come across in school.
I end up losing track of time and realize how starving I am; I take a late lunch around 2 and occupy myself on my phone. A few texts from Megan, my friends, and Claire.
"Just landed in the greatest city in the world. I realized I haven't asked you if you've ever been? And what's your email?"
"I went once when I was about twelve and it was the coldest trip of my life... You're not subscribing me to any naughty websites, are you?" If there's anything I've learned from Sean or any relationship, it's that humor is a big deal.
I expect she's busy gathering her luggage, hiding her identity, and making her way to a meeting of some sort but, to my surprise, she responds right away.
"A dating website actually. Do you have a profile picture preference? But seriously what's your email..."
I give her my email and chat a bit more about her plans for the week. As expected, she has multiple meetings, fittings, and even a photoshoot on Wednesday for a magazine spread. Casual. I get back to my desk and open my personal email account to see an email from Claire titled "Be My Date?"
"I know you just started your internship but if I recall correctly, you have Fridays off. Ponder my invitation and let me know if we can work something out. P.S. I've saved up more airplane miles than you can imagine so don't worry about that. It's my turn to treat you."
Below her message is a picture of an invitation directed to her for some event I've never heard of, for this Friday night. Seems to be a type of art show or art charity type thing. Images of movies and TV premiers immediately pop into my mind. I've been to a few formal parties and banquets in my day, but I figure this will be unlike anything I've experienced. This is probably some seriously fancy shit. Men in tuxedos, women in gowns, thousands of dollars' worth of jewelry being worn, champagne being catered around, and lots of conversation.
The idea of that type of social situation immediately intimidates me, but knowing I'll be beside Claire and get a glimpse of her world seems exciting. But what would I tell my dad? "Yeah dad so, I'm flying out to New York for an actress who I'm sort of seeing and we're going to an elegant art event. Be back Sunday, love you!" I want to go, badly. I spend the rest of my day multi-tasking work and thinking of a plan. It's on my way home from work when I come up with the idea. Genius. I've got this.
I pull into the driveway and see my dad and Megan are home; I imagine getting dinner ready. I go inside and immediately go up to my room to drop my backpack and take off my shoes.
"Hello to you too!" I hear my dad calling up to me.
I hustle back downstairs.
"Just wanted to take my shoes off. What's for dinner?"
"Grilled chicken and kale salad," Megan isn't thrilled about our dining option. "Thanks for buying healthy stuff, dads on a health kick now."
"I just want you here with me as long as possible," I squeeze her cheeks and laugh.
"How was your first day? Do the people seem cool? How many hours are you working?" It's never just one question with Brad.
"It was good! People are cool, the office is cool. I work Monday thru Thursday full-time as I mentioned two days ago..."
"That's right. Three-day weekends, that'll be nice." He goes outside to put the chicken on the grill.
We sit at the dinner table talking about Megan's graduation coming up next Tuesday, my weekend at the club with my friends, and our dad's new lady-friend.
"I actually have some exciting and random news," I gather my thoughts for my big lie. "I was at work today and my supervisor and a few members of my team are flying out for a conference on Friday and invited me to join them. They were skeptical because I literally just started but they say it's one of the coolest engineering and learning experiences and that if I wanted to go, they'd fly me out."
"Well that's kind of cool right?" My dad doesn't seem as sketched out as I thought, but he's also very gullible. "Where's the conference?"
"It's in New York," I drift my eyes to my food, to Megan, and back to my dad. "I know that's across the country, but I googled this thing and looks really amazing. I'll show you a printout." Megan immediately squints her eyes and grins at me knowing I'm full of shit; she might have to help me make a fake flyer.
"If they're offering, you can't pass that up," she chimes into my lie; what a great sister.
"Wow New York. That is some ways away. Would they put you up in a hotel too? When do you leave and when do you come back? Have you worked out the details?" Oh dad, please.
"They go there quarterly so they stay at the same place every time; it's a hotel in the middle of the city. I'd have my own room, but obviously nothing fancy. They leave Thursday on a red-eye and get there Friday early in the morning. We'd come back Sunday and be back at work Monday. I really want to go, dad." I feel guilty coming up with such a drastic lie but in fairness, Claire insists on buying my flight, even though that's a lot, and I'd be staying with her.
The only costs I'd have would be food and whatever Claire and I do there. I've saved up from other jobs, monthly allowance from both parents, and the recent birthday cards my grandparents gave me a few months ago. It's not like I'm buying makeup or clothes that often, and I'm sure my dad will give me a little extra cash thinking it's for an educational weekend.
"If they're flying you out and paying for you all weekend, then I have no problem with that. I just want you to keep me updated and answer my calls or texts. Pretty cool company to be flying an intern out." He laughs a little and seems excited for me.
After dinner, I go to my room and send a text to Claire. It's starting to get late there but I'm sure she's far away from going to sleep anytime soon.
"Well I've thought over your invitation..."
As I wait for her to respond, Megan comes into my room and shuts the door behind her.
"Okay what's going on? I've been dying to know all night."
"I'm going to New York for an engineering conference," I grin at her.
"Cut the shit I want to know everything." She sits on my bed. "How was your date?!"
"I took her downtown and it was amazing Megan. We had dinner, went ziplining, made out. I've never felt this way about someone and I barely know her. Am I crazy?"
"You're not crazy, Parker. I think you're really into this girl. Who wouldn't though, it's Claire Emerson."
"It's not the fact that she's Claire Emerson, it's the fact that she makes me feel things I've never felt. Not just emotionally but she's literally changed my outlook on life as crazy as that sounds." I realize it probably sounds ridiculously crazy.
"She's good for you. I can tell." She smiles and shows excitement.
"How?" I want Megan to assure me that flying across the country for someone I just met isn't as reckless as I've always thought it to be.
"Just in these few days it seems like you've found a reason to start living. You're so used to being in control and planning things that this girl has taken you by surprise. She keeps you on your toes at all times. And you can't stop smiling like an idiot." We both crack a laugh. "She really is flying you out to New York to see her?"
"She has an event Friday night and asked me to be her date. You don't think dad will find out do you?"
"I doubt he will suspect anything at this point. You're his smart, little angel. You're also an incredible liar apparently."
My phone buzzes beside me and Megan takes it to see whose name is popped up. Claire, of course.
"Don't even think about it," I grab it back from her.
"You two sending nudies already? Geez Parker, you have changed." She laughs as she gets up from my bed and goes to her room.
"And...?" I still can't believe Claire wants to, not only, fly me out to New York but take me as her date to an art event.
"I couldn't just leave you at an event alone. Who knows what kind of trouble you'd get into 😉 I really don't want you buying my flight though."
"I'm not buying it; my miles are 😊"
I lay in my bed the rest of the night browsing websites and videos on my laptop and eventually find myself searching 'Claire Emerson'. It didn't occur to me how creepy this might be, but I think everyone is a little guilty of the occasional online profile stalking; this is essentially the same thing given the circumstances. I scroll through a few news articles of how she'll be playing some role in an upcoming movie, why her and Jason Daniels split up, and a recent one of her landing at JFK with a picture of her on her phone. I wonder if she was texting me in that moment.
I read a few articles and then go skim some pictures; quite a few with Jason Daniels at movie premiers and out and about, a few magazine covers, and then one in particular catches my eye as I'm scrolling. There's a picture of her with a woman who looks a little bit older than our age and see the headline, "Claire Emerson and rumored girlfriend Josephine Hershka at a charity in Beverly Hills". From what Claire had told me, this might not have been a rumor afterall.
I redo my search for both of their names and find more articles and pictures of the two. Nothing confirming they dated, all rumors. The most recent date I could find for anything involving them was two years ago; making sense that she dated Jason Daniels for nearly a year. I scroll more and more, and pick at the differences and similarities between myself and Josephine. I gather the fact that she's an artist, seven years older than me, met Claire at an art charity, and now has a girlfriend. My mind is full of scenarios and wacky assumptions; what if the art event invitation Claire received, and that we're going to, is from Josephine? What if she's there? Does Claire have feelings for her? How the fuck do I compare to a professional artist?
I close my computer and stare at the ceiling, trying to flush all the nonsense out of my head. "They broke up two years ago, don't be such a creep," I think to myself. I begin to go back to thinking what it is Claire sees in me, but she's told me before, "there's something about you". She thinks there's a reason she met me and I definitely think the same. I calm my brain down recalling the conversations we've had and the fact that she wants to fly me out this weekend to be her date at an event.
I can't fall asleep that night thinking of the entire weekend I just had and the possibilities of the weekend ahead of me. "Oh God. She's experienced and I'm not. She's probably done everything and knows everything."
My body is still dysfunctional the next morning while my mind is awake and hectic. Halfway through my work day I crave laying in my bed and daydreaming of Claire and a weekend in "the greatest city in the world". If she feels it's the greatest city in the world, I know I will feel the same; I would like and love anything she likes and loves. I'm at my computer when I hear my phone buzz on my desk. This company gets that it's the twenty-first century and that pretty much everyone owns a cell phone, so they don't mind when you answer a text or take a call occasionally, though I try to keep it to a minimum.
"See you in three days! By the way, the art show isn't gala formal, it's like cocktail attire. If you want, we can shop for something when you get in."
I'm relieved to know I don't have to doll myself up for some red carpet event, but I know Claire would be an absolute vision in formal attire. I am looking forward to seeing the art though. My mom used to take me to museums as a kid wherever we traveled. Took me some time and took her some patience, but I got into it.
"I think I can manage to put something together from my closet, but I appreciate you asking. See you in three days! ☺"
After I send my last text to Claire, Trent texts me asking if we're still on to meet for drinks after work; it totally skipped my mind that anything or anyone else exists in this world besides her.
"Yes! The Lounge at 5:30?" I respond as if I've been thinking about it all day.
"Cool. See you then."
The rest of the work day I try to regain focus on the last time Trent and I saw one another. I think it was about seven or eight months ago when Sean and I were on a break just before the one just about two weeks ago. Trent told me I was tuned out of the relationship and I thought we could work through it. Well that turned out well.
It's 5:10 when I turn off my desktop and pack my things to go meet Trent. I'm not nervous to see him. It's one of those comfortable friends with benefits situations; however, more comfortable now that nothing "beneficial" will happen tonight. I pull into the parking lot and see his black Camaro parked like a jackass; he's not a tool or douchebag by any means, he literally just can't park to save his life.
I walk towards the bar and see him with two drinks, one martini for me and a whiskey-ginger for him, at a table out on the patio. For the few years we've known each other and had these little meet-ups, whoever got the bar first would order the first round, but there always must be a second round to be fair. He stands up from the table in dark gray jeans and a cotton white shirt with a few buttons near the collar, he looks good.
"There she is," his muscles are more toned from what I remember last time. "Good to see you, Parks." He opens his arms to hug me.
"How are you, handsome?!" I'm not flirting, this is just how we talk to one another.
"Pretty good. I'm moving back here actually."
"No way? Are you sick of Reno?" We talk as we sit back down.
"Yeah I guess you could say that." He takes a sip of his drink. "Just not happy there and I'm thinking of changing my major entirely. My parents aren't too happy about that." Trent studied computer science and was brilliant at it, but I remember him always being overwhelmed with the work.
We chat more about school and being home for the summer. We tend to catch up on the last few months of our lives before really getting into the juicy stuff. He plans on studying finance at the college here and though it would offset him a few years, I can tell he's more excited about it.
"How are things with Sean?" He gives me a smirk, curious if there is a possibility of any action between us tonight.
"Remember the last time we got together, and you said I was just sort of out of it?" He leans back, crosses his arms and smirks some more. "Well you were right... I broke up with him not even two weeks ago."
"For good this time or just for the summer?" He grabs his drink and pushes mine toward me; I sip.
"I'm so done with it, but I honestly feel fine. Maybe that's how I know it really is over."
"Good for you, Parker. As both a friend and sex toy, I know this is the right thing." We both laugh and nod.
"That's not all," I gather my thoughts for how I will bring up Claire and can see his smirk fade away. "A few days after we broke up, I went out to Pulse with my friends and met someone."
"At a club? That's definitely promising." We stay polished and sharp on our sarcasm with how much we use it in our conversations.
"You know who Claire Emerson is, don't you?"
"The actress? Yeah, she's a babe. You meet a guy that knows her or something?" Lol. Trent.
"Not exactly," I grab my drink, look at Trent and he grabs his; we five count. "I met Claire, danced with her, took her out around the strip, up to West Acres, went zip lining two nights ago downtown, and now I'm flying to New York this weekend to see her." I chug the rest of my martini while I examine his face.
"I honestly can't tell if you're fucking with me right now. Are you fucking with me?"
"I'm serious, but don't make a big deal about it. No one knows about this but you and my sister." I know he would never say anything; we're too good of friends and it's not like he cares to go gossiping around.
"I want to know everything!" He grabs the server's attention and orders us another round. "Is it totally inappropriate to say how hot I think this is?" He lightens the serious mood.
I give him every detail and talk to him just as I did with Megan; talking about my sexuality, what this all means, if this could be a serious thing between Claire and I, how I feel, all of that. I eventually get on the subject of sex.
"We both know I've never done anything with a girl sexually, so this is where I need your insight. My lesbian sister has obviously given me some tips, but I want your opinion too." A huge smile comes across his face.
"Where would you like to start?"
We talk for the next hour or so about sex, our times together, Sean and I, and the other girls Trent has been with. Between his, Megan's, and my experiences, I feel more comfortable about the possibilities of the weekend ahead.
"Just do what you always do, and be generous." He makes me blush and laugh.
It starts to get late, for a work night at least, and we wrap things up. He knows very well now that there is no shot of anything happening, but I think this is the best rejection he's ever had. "No, I can't go home with you because I'm sort of seeing Claire Emerson." We get up from our table, knowing we're fine to drive after two drinks over a span of four hours and multiple glasses of water in between, and walk out to the parking lot.
"Since we're both here for the summer, let's catch up more often. I definitely want to hear about your weekend when you get back." He reaches out to hug me.
"Yeah, that sounds good," and it really does feel good knowing I have him to talk to. "I'll text you next week. Drive safe!"