We showed up to the bar and joined the booth where the guys were already sitting. I hugged everyone and sat down, relieved to be seeing the boys after spending so much time being cooped up in the house. I was also glad to see Bryan and Angela, not hesitating to hug her the longest after scooting in next to her.
"I missed you!" I confessed. "Where's the little one tonight?"
"At Bryan's parent's house. They're the best. It's been so long since I've been out!" I chuckled a bit feeling like I was looking right into my future as I already didn't feel like coming out much and the baby wasn't even here yet. Noah came back after getting us drinks. He handed me my water with lemon and slid into the booth next to me. I noticed he was starting off with a rum and coke. I was a little nervous he was having a drink, but just as long as he had one socially, maybe there wouldn't be any harm in that. We chatted with everyone and I was actually having a good time. I did grow concerned, however, when Noah ordered another rum and coke after finishing the first one.
"Baby...don't you want to slow down a bit?" I whispered to him. However, in order not to offend him, I decided to make it more about me. I gently squeezed his leg under the table and rubbed his inner thigh. "I don't want you to fall asleep on me later." I said and gently left a kiss on his neck.
He smirked at me lovingly and kissed me softly.
"I promise I won't. I'll make this my last one okay?" My heart fluttered at the cute look he was giving me and I was pleased he was getting my hint and keeping his word.
"I love you." I confessed quietly, more so thinking out loud as I gazed over his porcelain face.
"I love you more." He argued with a warm smile and he held my hand under the table.
Our lovely moment was destroyed when Kayla came over to the table, wearing a black, leather mini skirt, and a half shirt that was also black with white barbed wire screen printed across her boobs. It was rather apparent she wasn't wearing a bra, and it was rather chilly in the room if you catch my drift. If she was looking for attention, and in that outfit, she would absolutely get it. I instantly felt disrespected by her, thinking it was inappropriate to be half naked in front of a bunch of men that were in relationships. Not everyone had the same scruples I guess. Not to mention, I was slightly fueled by jealousy, feeling like a whale in any outfit I wore these days. Tonight I was wearing a black misfits Tshirt dress, with black fishnets and docs. Noah told me a thousand times how beautiful I looked tonight, loving that the dress showed off my curves, but compared to Kayla I felt like a potato.
"Hey guys!" She said excitedly, resting a hand on Noah's shoulder. I debated quietly on whether I should slap her hand away, or bend back one of her fingers. I took too long to decide. She had Noah scooch over so she could sit next to him on the end. They were way too close to my liking.
While she chatted with the guys, being way more bubbly tonight in front of them than she was in front of me, Angela kept shooting me looks. Telepathically, she was letting me know she was also very annoyed with Kayla's presence. After a bit Kayla leaned into Noah.
"You should come play a game of pool with me." She insisted, smiling at Noah. He shrugged a bit and looked at me.
"You don't mind you do, Evie?" He asked quietly.
Of course I I did, but I didn't want to be that type of girl, so I nodded a bit.
Kayla leaned over, butting in and smiled condescendingly at me. "Don't worry, sweetie. I won't keep your fiancé long!" I had to hold myself back from cringing.
"Sure. Have fun." I faked a small smile and he leaned in kissing my cheek, then taking his drink and following Kayla over to the pool table. Folio followed with his date wanting to play too.
I sat with Bryan, Angela, and Nick, keeping a close watch on Kayla and Noah across the bar.
They were sure doing a lot of laughing and I hated it.
Bryan and Angela decided to go get another round of drinks, leaving me with a very drunk Nick. He was slowly starting to nod off at the table, sitting up, but his shoulders hunched. I giggled a bit, never seeing him this drunk before and I tapped him gently on the arm.
"Ruffilo!" I shouted and snapped a few times in front of his face to wake him up.
"Stay with me buddy!" I joked. He opened his eyes. Barely, but they were still open.
"Oh shit-" he slurred. "Where is errybody?" He questioned and hiccuped a bit.
I giggled a little noticing he was slightly cross-eyed, feeling bad he was definitely going to be regretting this in the morning.
"Playing pool and getting drinks. I think you're done for the night though. I've been babysitting you for about 20 minutes now and you seem to be getting drunker by the second. All the shots are catching up to you." I giggled.
"Babysitter?" He hiccuped. "I don't need a babysitter." He slouched back into the booth to rest his head. "You need to babysit Noah instead." He chuckled drunkenly.
"Oh yeah? Why's that?" I smiled at him debating on recording him just to troll him tomorrow in the group chat we had with everyone.
"Cuz...errryyyone knows they used to fuck." He trailed off, his eyes closing again. My stomach dropped, wondering if he was just talking stupidly from the alcohol. My heart started thumping through my chest nervously as my hands trembled.
"What are you saying Nick...he said you guys all used to be friends."
Nick hiccuped then laughed tiredly. "You dont get fucked up and stop eating for months after a friend breaks up with you dude." His eyes closed again and it only took a few moments before he was clearly passed out again. I could have sworn my heart was shattering into pieces with each rapid pulse. Noah lied to me.
When I looked back at the pool table, I noticed Folio and his date high five watched, clearly the winners. I saw Kayla take out a pack of cigarettes from inside her bra.
Classy.
She said something to Noah and I saw her step out back, and him following. I felt sick to my stomach and stood up, rushing to the bathroom. I was in there for a little bit, throwing up from the occasional baby nausea, but my nerves were also now absolutely shot.
After I was done getting sick, I went and rinsed my mouth out and used a wet paper towel to gently blot my hot forehead. The bathroom door swung open and I was relieved to see Angela, who came to check on me.
"Are you okay sweetie?"
"Uhm...not really." I confessed and my eyes watered feeling so betrayed by Noah's fabrications. He really made it seem like him and Kayla were friends from the past, but he left out the very important fact that they slept together.
"Where's Noah?" Angela asked, rubbing my back comfortingly.
"I saw him step out with Kayla." I sniffled. She didn't know exactly what was wrong but she could only assume, considering she witnessed how flirty Kayla was acting earlier. I texted Angela after breakfast earlier to tell her the stuff Kayla said to me and she agreed with me that she was disrespectful and rude.
Angela guided me, standing tall, leading me out back to find Noah. She hated seeing me upset and she was already harboring pissed off feelings about Noah not putting Kayla in her place. I had a dreadful feeling in the pit of my stomach as we walked out back into the ally way, the door swinging open quickly.
As we stepped out back, I felt the wind get knocked out of me as I saw Kayla's arms around Noah's neck and I saw them breaking apart quickly from a kiss, startled by the door. My heart sank, an ocean of tears rushing to my eyes almost instantly. Noah shoved Kayla away from him, slightly intoxicated and his cheeks flushed. "Kayla what the fuck!"
"Noah!? What the fuck are you doing?!" I shrieked, my eyes working properly but my brain not wanting to believe what I was seeing.
"This isn't what it looks like Eve! I fucking swear to you!" He yelled out, knowing he never should have insisted on coming here tonight. His eyes were wide with shame and he was still startled by everything that just went down.
Angela shook her head and her face read pure disgust. "You're a fucking idiot, Noah." She had been there over the years, witnessing Noah maturing and starting to make the right moves. However, this clearly was twenty steps back for him and she was truly disappointed in him, feeling really bad for me. I turned around abruptly, feeling like I was drowning in complete rage and embarrassment and I started pushing my way through the crowd, needing to escape this. Noah ran in quickly and came after me. I felt his hand graze my arm and despite the booming rock music playing over the speakers, I could hear him loud and clear as he pleaded with me over the noise. "Eve! Eve wait!"
"Fuck you, Noah!"
"Eve! Just shut up and listen!" He demanded and it made me even more angry. I felt even smaller noticing people were no longer dancing around us and staring. My cheeks got hot as the tears continued to fill up my eyes and I turned around and made it for the exit. He pulled me back again not wanting to let me leave and needing to come clean.
"No! Fuck off! You had a chance to tell me the truth before and you didn't! You lied right to my fucking face! I know you used to fuck her Noah!" His mouth opened a bit to protest and I held my hand up. "Save it! Nick told me everything! And I know it's true so shut the fuck up!" I screamed. I had enough. "You love her! I can tell!" I shrieked and hit him in the chest.
"I don't! I swear I fucking don't Eve!" His eyes watered too as he blocked my hits, capturing my wrists with his hands so I couldn't hurt myself or him.
"Shut up! Shut the FUCK up!" I screamed. "Everything that comes out of your mouth is a lie!"
"You're fucking ridiculous!" He yelled back. "This is your fucking problem and this is why I don't want to sleep with you! You're annoying and you don't goddammit listen! You can be such a fucking bitch sometimes and you always jump to conclusions!" My mouth was agape with disbelief and hurt, wanting to smack him but holding back, my chest heaving heavily with fury.
"What the fuck did you just say to me?!" I asked through gritted teeth. His words sunk in and I started to sob. He was acting like he used to when he was in a dark, mean place, before he put in all the work to get better. I never thought I would go through this ever again and it was sending me back into an emotional downward spiral.
"I hate you." Was all I could manage to choke out. "Don't come home. She can fucking have you because I'm tired of you!" I turned and left the bar in a hurry, wanting to get home before I collapsed. My emotions were running haywire, replaying what I saw in my head. I felt like such an idiot.
I wanted to just trust him, and take his word. However, he proved to me, yet again, why I would never be able to make it work with Noah. How could I marry someone I couldn't trust? I took a cab home and managed to get myself into my pajamas, locking the bedroom door just in case he did decide to come back to the house. I was so disappointed in him, feeling sick to my stomach picturing his hands all over her and her pleasuring him the way I do. I wanted to curl up and die, but I no longer had the luxury of selfishness. I had the little one in my stomach to consider now, and the reality set in for me.
Whether or not Noah and I were together, he would still be around...and I would have to give it my all to put my personal heartbreak on the back burner. I would be stuck with Noah for a long time, whether he destroyed me or not.
This was my new reality. I was having a child with a man who didn't truly love me.