POV: Shubman Gill
‘Let me go! I want to go to Ishaan! Ibrahim, get out of my way!’ Shubman screamed and tried to push Ibrahim away.
Ibrahim didn't budge from where he stood. He watched as Shubman paced around the room, angry and agitated.
‘ Shubman sir, you can't go out like this…someone might see you’ Ibrahim said grimly.
‘ I DON'T GIVE A FUCK! I WANT TO GO TO ISHAAN!’ Shubman screamed.
‘ You should give a fuck, Shubman! You can't do whatever the hell you want all the time. We are trying to protect you and instead you are going around hurting everyone near you!’ Simran yelled at him in frustration.
‘ Oh of course, you are just worried about your ‘time pass’ boyfriend being hurt aren't you…you don't…’
The sting of Simran's hand colliding with Shubman's cheek interrupted him. He stared at Simran, wide eyed and touched his cheek.
‘ Simran…’ Ibrahim gasped and tried to pull her away from Shubman.
‘ That's enough insolence, Shubman!’ she growled at him.
He blinked rapidly several times while backing away from Simran. Shubman couldn't breathe anymore, his lungs weren't expanding no matter how much he tried to suck the air in. Shubman clutched his t-shirt and hit his chest several times, his heart was beating way too fast.
‘ Kaka…’ Simran panicked and went towards him.
Shubman had gone pale, he dropped down to his knees and tightly gripped the rug on the floor. A scream escaped his lips as he felt a white hot pain piercing through his entire body. He shakily looked up at Ibrahim who had a scratch on his cheek and several scratches on his arm from when he had held Shubman back. He looked at Simran, who herself was sobbing from anger and sadness and screaming something to Ibrahim. Shubman thought of his father who had tried to talk to him, instead Shubman screamed at him saying that he hated him.
He thought of Ishaan who had gripped his t-shirt and screamed to him.
‘khabhi Kuch Sach bhi tha humhare dharmiyaan? Tumse mohabbat ki hei Shubman…!’
He thought of how he didn't have an answer to give, as bent down towards the floor, his vision was getting blurry, his entire body shaking and losing strength. He made one final attempt to breathe in some air before the darkness covered his eyes like a blindfold.
‘ I…I shouldn't have done that…I shouldn't have slapped him…’
Shubman heard Simran sobbing as he woke up. He opened his eyes slightly and looked at Simran who was seated near the balcony covering her face, sobbing quietly.
‘ Di..’ his voice was weak.
Simran rushed to him and collapsed onto him, wailing out loud.
‘ I'm so sorry baby…’ she sobbed into his shoulder.
‘ No…I'm sorry’ he cried and tightly hugged her back.
It took them a while to calm down. Shubman sat up leaning against the headrest, with Simran beside him. He apologized to Ibrahim as well who still stood near the doorway.
‘ What….what happened to me?’
‘ Panic attack…’
Shubman took a deep breath and tried to call himself.
‘ Where are mamma and dada?’ Shubman asked.
‘ Dad went to pick mom up, he was here when the doctor's came’
‘ Do you….do you think dada would forgive me?’ he sniffled.
Simran hugged him and kissed his head.
‘ Of course, he loves you’
Shubman sat quietly and played with the silver rings on his finger. He had put on Ishaan's one as well, hoping that he would be able to give it back to him.
‘ I…I didn't mean to lie to him’ he whimpered.
‘ Why did you do it, Shubman?’
‘ I…I didn't want to hurt him..I didn't tell him about her because…because I knew that he would…he wouldn't like me meeting her…’
‘ So you hid it? You didn't think that he might find out?’
Shubman covered his face and cried.
‘ I…I don't know, Simran Di…I couldn't stop talking to her, she's…she's my friend too’
‘ Don't you think that, if you had talked to him, he might have understood? He always understands..’
Shubman looked at Simran, she was right. Ishaan always understood. Shubman's anger, his struggles, his tantrums, his dreams, his likes, his dislikes, his mood swings, his constant need for love and physical affection. Ishaan always understood. Shubman was the one who had failed to see beyond himself.
‘ But…but I love him so much..why did I hurt him so much?! How could I be so selfish!’
Simran held his hands and tried to calm him down. He hugged her and buried his face on her shoulder. He thought back to how Ishaan had cried while confronting him, how his beautiful eyes filled with tears. Shubman felt razor blades in his throat as he recalled the things he had said at Ishaan.
‘ There's ... .there's something wrong’ Shubman sat up panicked.
‘ Shubhi, you might…’
‘ No….I.. when I was talking to him, I felt anger…there's something wrong’
Simran stared at him confused.
‘ I mean, inside my head I kept thinking that I should calm down, and talk to him properly ... .but..but my tongue kept betraying me. It didn't say what I wanted it to say. …’
‘ What…what do you mean?’ Ibrahim asked, sitting beside him.
Shubman took a deep breath and thought of what he felt at that time.
‘ It was as though I was stuck in my body again, like …like when…when I had the jinn on me. Not that severe but, like how a puppet is being handled? I didn't have control over myself…’ Shubman tried to explain.
‘ Ibrahim, maybe you should call Abrar?’ Simran said nervously.
Ibrahim called Abrar and told him everything that Shubman had said.
‘ Maybe it's the other half that's still affecting him…’ Abrar said after a minute of silence.
They all exchanged nervous glances.
‘ I..should meet him’ Shubman said after a while.
‘ Are you crazy?!’ Simran gripped his shoulder.
‘ Maybe ..maybe Mayank would tell me what it is.’ he tried to reason.
‘ Abrar, I will call you back…Shubman sir, your sister is right, if Mayank sees you, who knows what he might do?’ Ibrahim said.
‘ I don't care…I don't care even if I have to see Mayank again, or be in the same room as him…I need to know what's written in it. …Mayank,..he might tell me?’ Shubman pleaded.
Ibrahim and Simran looked worried.
‘ Dad won't agree, baby,’ Simran said softly.
Shubman tried to stop himself from crying.
‘ No..you guys…please try to understand, this is…this might be my only chance to get Ishaan back. I.…Ibrahim please, please take me to him?’ Shubman whimpered.
‘ Let's…let's talk to your father first’ Ibrahim answered sadly.
Shubman sat impatiently waiting for his parents. He didn't have the strength to walk around the house, nor did he have the heart to eat anything even though he was starving. He drank a little amount of water and played with the rings on his finger.
‘ Dad's home…’ Simran quietly said entering the room.
Shubman said up properly and glanced at his father for a second at his father, who stood at the edge of the bed, arms folded over his chest. His mother came and fussed over him, crying quietly as she kissed him all over. Shubman felt too ashamed to look up at his father.
‘ I would like a moment alone with Shubman…’ his father said quietly.
‘ I'm not leaving him…’ Shubman's mom said in anger.
‘ it's for a minute…please’
Shubman kissed his mother's hand and gently let go, quietly asking her to give him a moment. He nervously nodded at Simran and watched as all of them left.
‘ When you were young, you used to sit on my shoulder and watch cricket matches. You could barely walk, when you had picked up the bat. Cricket was your one and only love….’ he said.
Shubman cried quietly.
‘ Beta…can you please tell me what's going on? We…we used to be best friends before..what changed?’ his father asked, gently patting his head.
‘ I…fell in love with a boy…I thought, I thought you would be ashamed of me…’ he struggled to say.
‘ Why would I be ashamed of you?’
Shubman shrugged.
‘ Shubhi, all I'm trying to do is protect you. I wish that things were different, I wish I could let you announce your love to the world…but do you think..do you honestly think that this society, the cricketing world will accept you?’
Shubman shook his head.
‘ the world….the world can't be that cruel?’
‘ The people are, beta…’
Shubman burst out crying and hugged his father. He wanted to stay in his father's shadow, holding the hem of his shirt for the rest of his life.
‘ Dada I'm sorry….I'm sorry about what I said to you. I swear…I didn't, I didn't mean to’ he cried out loud, gripping his shirt.
‘ I know baccha’ his father tried to calm him down.
‘ Dada…I can, I can tell you anything right?’ Shubman asked.
‘ of course…’
Shubman pulled away from him and told him everything. From the start to the end. How he had met Ishaan, how Ishaan loved him so dearly, how Shubman had tried to love Ishaan in his own flawed way. He also told his father about what he wanted to do.
‘ Shubman…’ his father tried to get up, he did not like the idea of Shubman meeting Mayank.
‘ Dada…wait’ Shubman stopped him.
He struggled off the bed and stood in front of his father.
‘ Dada, please try to understand, this is…this might be my only chance to get Ishaan back. The only chance to make things right…please Dada’ Shubman went down to his knees and begged, hands folded in front of him.
‘ Bacche…’ his father's heart broke at the sight of his son.
His father helped him get up and hugged him.
‘ Don't ever do that again, Shubman…if you are sure about this, then I'm giving you one last chance to make things right. If it doesn't work out then…’
‘ Then I will do whatever you ask me to…’
Shubman's father yet again lost in front of his son's stubbornness.
‘ Mayank was transferred to a psychiatric hospital…’ Ibrahim said to Shubman's father.
All of them were seated in Shubman's room, waiting for the visit to be arranged. Shubman's mother was infuriated with their decision, but she knew that there was nothing she could do to change it. Simran wanted to go with them, but before her father could refuse, Ibrahim had refused.
‘ Why?’ Simran asked, horrified.
Ibrahim nervously glanced around the room.
‘ He uh ..he wouldn't sleep at night, he kept talking to himself…screaming…self harming..he um, he tried to end his life…’ Ibrahim trailed off.
A tense silence filled the room. Everyone was horrified at what they heard.
‘ if …if I find out what he's hiding, will…will Abrar be able to help..?’ Shubman asked, thinking of Ishaan.
‘ I..I don't really know, sir’
‘ Ibrahim…’ Shubman pleaded.
‘ I will…I will talk to Abrar…I have arranged a meeting for tonight..I know you want to meet his as soon as possible’
‘Zara Jaldi Kar Mere Peer Sayein
Mujhe Chor K Jane Wala Hay
Koi Antar Mantar Phonk Abhi
Woh Hath Chorane Wala Hay
Mujhe Day Kuch Ghol K Pani Mein
Koi Jadu Tona Kar Sayein
Koi Day Taveez Mohabt Ka
Kuch Aise Kar Kuch Waise Kar
Koi Chila Wila Kat Sayein
Kuch Kat To Jaise Taise Kar
Ab Meri Khusiyan Hath Tere
Koi Aur Ise Na Lay Jaye
Woh Akela Jag Mein Hay
Main Jaan-o Dil Hun War Chuka
Woh Jeet Chuka Sab Jeet Chuka
Aur Main Khud Ko Har Chuka
Sayein Dekh Main Phele Tanha Hun
Aur Chor K Woh Bhi Chal Nikle
Meri Mushkil Ka Nah Hal Nikle
Yeh Baat Main Sahe Na Paon Ga
Main Jete Je Mar Jaon Ga’
POV: Ishaan Kishan
‘ Jaani, where were you…you didn't tell me where you were going and…..ISHAAN!’
Shreyas ran towards Ishaan as he came through the apartment door, swaying and almost collapsed onto the floor.
‘ Jaani…?’
Shreyas held Ishaan close to his chest and touched his forehead. Ishaan was burning up.
‘ Shubman..,’ Ishaan was mumbling to himself.
Shreyas picked Ishaan up in his arms and rushed to the room and laid him down on the bed. He took off Ishaan's jacket and shoes, and unbuttoned his shirt.
“ Shubman…’ Ishaan called out again.
Shreyas put a towel soaked in ice cold water on Ishaan's forehead and used another towel on the resort of his body.
‘ Shrey…’ Ishaan's weak voice was barely audible.
‘ Haan Jaani?’
Ishaan extended his hands towards Shreyas, who held it and sat down beside him.
‘ I'm…I'm going to die’ his voice trembled
‘ No…no no, Jaani’ Shreyas tried not to cry.
‘ It ….it hurts so much!’ Ishaan screamed and started to hit his chest.
‘ Ishaan!’
Shreyas held his arms to make him stop and pulled him into a hug. Ishaan burst out crying and wailed out loud. His voice was muffled against Shreyas’s chest. He brought this knees closer to himself, tightly gripped Shreyas’s shirt and screamed till he tasted blood in his throat. Shreyas didn't let his grip weaken around Ishaan, he held Ishaan tightly and rubbed his back. Shreyas felt infuriated, he wanted to spill blood, but he knew that Ishaan would still, after everything that happened, throw himself at Shubman to save his life. Shreyas tried to blink back the tears and anger and sadness and tried to calm Ishaan down.
‘ Why…why did he do it? I ….I loved him so much Shreyas!’ Ishaan looked up at him.
Shreyas held Ishaan's beautiful face and wiped the tears.
‘ I don't know…’
‘ He…he was the soul to my world…he …he was everything and he ruined me’
‘ I'm sorry…’
‘ He…he was lying through his teeth, Shreyas! He was hugging her and laughing with her and then he came home and…pretended in front of me…’
Shreyas wiped the drool going down the side of Ishaan's face.
‘ Why…?!’ Ishaan screamed and buried his face on Shreyas's chest.
‘ Mein hasrat hi rehta toh behtar tha,
Tumhare Kiya hua, kahi ka na raha’
Ishaan cried till he felt hollow inside. He cried till his tears dried up, he screamed till his throat ached. He refused to eat anything , and Shreyas had to beg Ishaan to take medicines for his fever. It took hours for Shreyas to put Ishaan to sleep, who was curled up in a ball against Shreyas's chest and hugging him. Shreyas gently ran his fingers through Ishaan's hair and prayed for this to be over soon.
Note: Link for the poem, in case anyone wants to hear it. Also bye.
https://youtu.be/7wjGF08EY0k?si=LeUyQB1WRLrYgNhc