The next couple days were boring to say the least since we were waiting to hear if we got the house or not.
It was nerve wrecking considering the kids were really getting antsy and I just wanted them to move into their new home.
Not to mention there was the fear that someone would literally try to hurt or take them if we left the safety of the office.
Colby has been going with Sam to scope things out and work on a couple jobs.
I wasn't the most excited about him being thrown into danger again but I wanted to support him because I knew it's what he wanted to do.
Right now, I was trying to entertain the kids for what felt like the hundredth day in a row.
"Sissy, I am so bored." Juniper said as I bounced Maisie, trying to calm her down.
She was mostly a good baby but being deprived of sunlight and anything but this room was hard for her.
Not to mention I was still feeding her every two hours so none of us were really getting any sleep.
"I know, I'm so sorry." I said with a yawn. "Can we maybe go on a walk down here?" Carter suggested as I frowned.
"I don't want to distrupt anyone with Maisie since she's so fussy." I said with a frustrated sigh.
"We're old enough and it's safe enough to walk around down here, Jule." Jenna pointed out.
"I know. If you guys want to then you can." I said as they all got up. "Thanks, Jule." Sam said with a wide smile as Carter opened the door and they all filed out.
As soon as the door closed I sighed and looked at Maisie. "Come on girlie, work with me." I mumbled as tears formed in my eyes.
I was getting better about doubting myself as a mom but when Maisie would cry and cry without being soothed I always felt like I was the worst mom in the world.
I couldn't understand why she was upset and it made me feel horrible because I should have known.
I should have been able to soothe my baby.
"Shhhh I know." I whispered and held her close as she screamed. I was so beyond tired that I actually started to cry myself.
It was overwhelming trying to keep myself together when all the kids were around. It was hard to stay strong for Colby when my post partum depression was in full swing.
It was all so hard and I couldn't express it with anyone.
"Come on, sweetheart." I whispered and bounced Maisie as she sobbed and sobbed. I didn't know how long we stayed in the cycle before the door was opening and Colby was walking in.
"Hey, what's going on?" He asked as I sniffled and looked up at him.
"She won't stop crying." I whimpered as he came over. "Well that's not good." He said and held his arms out so I would hand her over.
"Maybe she missed you." I said then sniffled and handed her over. "I don't know about that." He said then rocked Maisie.
"What are you doing back so soon?" I asked and wiped my cheeks. "Just dropped in to check on you." He said as Maisie slowly started to calm down.
"See? She missed you." I said and tried to keep myself from crying more. "Hmm. I guess I haven't been around much." He hummed then looked around. "Where are the others?" He asked as I sighed.
"They went on a walk around the office. I know they aren't really supposed to but I can't keep them trapped in a room with a screaming baby." I said and ran my fingers through my hair.
"Yeah, I get that. I'll call Celeste today to see if there's any word on the house." Colby said as I nodded.
"That'd be good." I said quietly as the door opened. "Colby!!" Juniper squealed as she ran to him.
"Hey, best friend." Colby said and crouched down, wrapping his free arm around Juniper. "Are you staying here?" Juniper asked with excitement as I sat on the bed, wiping my eyes.
"I don't know, honestly." Colby said with a sigh. "Did you get any word about the house? Staying down here is slowly killing me." Jenna said as Sam sat next to me and gently rubbed my back.
"Not yet. I'm gonna reach out today to see what's going on." Colby explained then looked up at me as the door opened.
"Hey, man. Are you ready to head out again?" Adult Sam said as he poked his head into the room.
"Uhhh. Ya know what? Jules is gonna go." Colby said and looked at me.
"Huh?" I asked with confusion. "Yeah. I'm gonna hang out with the kids. You go help Sam." He said as I blinked slowly.
"Are you sure about that?" I asked as Colby chuckled. "I think you and I both know that answer." He said then smiled reassuringly at me.
"We won't take you anywhere super crazy." Sam said as I nodded and stood up.
"Okay guys, be good for Colby. Understand?" I asked and went over to Colby.
"We're always good." Carter retorted. "Right." I said then leaned down and kissed Colby. "I love you." I said as he grinned.
"I love you, too. Be safe." He said as I nodded and brought my hand to Maisie's cheek. "I love you, sweet girl." I said with a small smile.
"There's milk for her in the freezer in the infirmary." I explained then ruffled Juniper's hair . "Be good, love." I said as she giggled.
"Sissyyyy!" She squealed and frantically tried to fix her hair. "Do you really think this is a good idea?" Jenna asked as I sighed.
"I'll be fine, Jen. Promise." I said then smiled reassuringly. "Hold down the fort." I said to Carter and little Sam.
"Always." Carter said with a grin as I made my way out of the room with Sam. "You nervous?" He asked as I nodded.
"A little bit but I'm also incredibly excited." I said with a smile. "You've been cooped up for too long. We aren't doing anything insane so it won't be super fun." Sam explained.
"I think you underestimate my power of being caught in danger." I said as he laughed.
"That is true. Perhaps we should bring someone as backup." Sam said as we made our way down the hallway.
"No need. I'm the leader of the crime world." I said causing Sam to laugh again.
"Glad you're finally embracing that." He said as we made our way up the elevator and towards the car.
The truth was I wasn't embracing it, I was scared as hell to leave the sanctuary that was the office but also I was sick of being trapped.
I wanted even an ounce of normalcy.
"So what are we doing?" I asked as we got in the car. "Also I need a weapon." I said as Sam nodded and pulled a gun out of the glovebox.
"All yours. We're just going on a couple drug runs. Nothing crazy." He explained.
"Easy peasy." I said with a sigh. I still lost my mind every once in a while, thinking about what I was forced to do in the past.
Robbing the museum to get Colby back was the hardest task I have ever been put in.
Killing my parents and the rest of the crime lords that were ruining my life and the lives of my loved ones was the hardest thing I have physically had to do.
Now I didn't know what I was supposed to do.
"So...how's marriage." Sam said after a moment of silence. "Colby told you?" I asked as he nodded.
"Yeah, he was so excited he couldn't wait to tell me." He explained which warmed my heart.
"I knew he would tell you. It's been good, but it doesn't feel any different. We've been acting like a married couple for a while." I said with a sigh.
"That's true. Plus, you guys have like twelve kids." Sam said causing me to laugh.
"One kid and four kid siblings is definitely twelve kids." I said as we pulled up to a nice looking mansion.
"Same thing to me." Sam said then parked the car. "Ready to run some drugs in?" He asked as I nodded and watched as he pulled out a giant bag. "Jesus that's a lot." I said as he nodded.
"They're having a party and we're their main supplier." Sam explained as I got out of the car. I could feel the familiar nerves bundling in my chest as we made our way to the front door.
I knew this was a low impact job and it wasn't going to be very exciting but it was more exciting than being trapped in a bunker with a baby and four restless kids.
When we got to the front door Sam knocked on the door in a specific way and a man opened the door.
"Hey, man." He said to Sam then looked at me before his face went white. "Why did you bring her?" He asked my face fell slightly.
"That's not your concern." Sam said nonchalantly. "No. Why did you bring her?" The guy asked with a hint of fear before reaching for his gun.
"She's just helping me with the run. Why are you freaking out?" Sam asked with confusion.
"There's a mission to find her and I know you're a great dealer but I'll do anything to get the money to turn her in." The guy said and pulled his gun as my blood ran cold.