I had just finished off a hunter. The last of his blood dripping from my reddened lips. It was odd now. We had been traveling for a few days from Illinois and I had become strangely comfortable with human blood once more. It was defiantly an easier transition than from human to animal.
I still felt a sense of guilt for taking their life, but it had become immensely easier than I originally thought it would be. I dropped the man to the ground and wiped my jaw clean. "That was fun," I said sarcastically as Xavier appeared behind me. "Now what? You wanna keep going or just hang around here for a while?" I was hoping for the latter. Lately it'd seemed like we were always running, which I suppose was my fault.
I was the one with the family that we're both heading for and running from, Xavier was just coming along for the ride. "We can hang back for a while, even if we don't sleep it's still nice to slow down ever now and again." He smiled showing the smallest amount of blood still at the edge of his lips.
"Here," I said before quickly moving my hand to rub the smudge away. "your nice and all, but I think someone might react negativity if they noticed blood on you." He smiled again, although not in a cocky or flirtatious way like he had in the past.
Our short-lived romance of my seeming second life (or was it third counting humanity?) had since simmered to a nice relationship of close friends. We still flirted , but not to the point of it meaning anything.
As thoughts of a romance between Xavier and I faded I found myself thinking more of Danny. Was there a chance of a remaining flame? Had my brothers come through to do as I asked and erased any feeling he'd had for me like I proposed?
With each thought of Danny I could feel the hate for myself building. It was puzzling. To feel good about killing people, and yet still have feelings for someone like Danny. My mind sent me back to the encounter when we both realized exactly who each other were.
"You keep from killing someone and I don't have to kill you, OK?"
I shuddered. It was strange that we actually built a relationship after he said that. Still somehow we did. How long did it last? Looking back it didn't seem important. I was sure that it couldn't have been long. After all teenage love didn't ever seem to last long enough, probably because teens trap themselves in an illusion. Maybe we were just in one of those. Forever seeking a love that wasn't meant to last.
My mind drifted to my brother. How was the his and Celia's relationship going? I could only hope for the best for them. The last I saw of them they looked happy enough, well as happy as a human could look right after she learned that her boyfriend and his family were blood-sucking creatures of the dark.
I wondered if she had seen him in the sun, I laughed thinking of her reaction. Sparking-blood-sucking creatures of the dark defiantly seem less scary. Knowing Celia she was probably captivated for a half of a moment before simply telling him he looked like a fairy, or something along those lines.
I laughed again at the thought, then glanced back at Xavier. He sat on a fallen tree not far away from me, running a hand through his mess of black hair. He then lit a match, burning what was left of the humans. I shuddered and was instantly happy that Xavier was fearless enough to be the one to burn them.
If I had to burn two people -even dead people- i'd probably loose what was left of my humanity. "Are you alright Chéri?" He asked, looking up from the small blaze.
"Of course," I lied painfully bad, at least compared to my usual finesse. He noticed and waved me to come over to him. I sat next to him on the tree, pulling my knees to my chest and allowing myself to almost disappear in the sea of my own strawberry colored hair.
"You don't have to do this ya know," Xavier sighed. I looked up at him, but he didn't seem to want to meet my gaze. "Pretending to be something you're not doesn't make your life easier. No, it make it more complicated." He sighed again before finally looking down at me.
His red eyes seemed to glow like the dying embers that still lit the area a few feet away. "You're not the same Clara, but your different from when we first met -well first met again- you just seem like you're trying to fool everyone into thinking your their Clara, or your boyfriends Clara, or my Clara and that has to be one of the worst things I've seen you go through." He picked a stone and threw it as if to show his frustration "You're loosing yourself and the worst part is you probably haven't even finished finding yourself."
It was strange to hear Xavier talk about Danny, I had only briefly mentioned Danny once of twice and was always careful not to include details. My eyes seemed to burn with invisible tears. Xavier was right, but then again of course he was.
I had become a child, if not worse since I ran away. Hiding and creating an illusion of sanity in my total eclipse of reality. "What do you think I should do?" I asked, my voice hitched with clear confusion.
Xavier moved his sights to the ground, kicking up dirt. It was clear he didn't know what to say "At this moment Clara, nobody can help you but yourself. You have to decide who you are and then stick with it. People are like the ground," I momentarily looked down, noting the small hole forming under his boot. "We can be solid one minute, and then just completely fall apart." He kicked at the ground again as if to prove his point.
"That's really deep Xavier." I said, with just a hint of my surprise by his appropriate words.
Xavier smiled "Thanks, I'll tell Garth that next time I see him." My mind quickly diff ted to Garth and Delila. I wondered where they could be by now, or if they were still watching over the coven of the south.
"So," I began "When was the last time you spoke to Garth, or Delila?" Xavier seemed confused for a moment, before turning towards me.
"Delila's his mate right?" I nodded "Well. It's had to have been a few years since I'd seen Garth, and then I suppose that means Delila was with him." he sighed and stood up from the overturned tree. "Listen Clara, Garth and I didn't exactly end on a good note."
I stood as well, following him as he seemed to walk in a daze around our make-shift camping spot. "Are you going to tell me, or just let me guess until I got it right?" I said, elbowing him to try to get his attention has he seemed to have drifted away in thought.
"Well telling you would be less time consuming, but hearing your guesses might be more fun." He teased. A moment later I elbowed him again, this time with a bit more bite. "Still I think I'll just tell you." He said, giving up.
"The last time I saw Garth was when I was bringing Maria home from Volterra. Garth -who had stepped in for Maria since she was turned human- was both pleasantly and sadly surprised by her return."
"He was sad for her return?" I interrupted, Xavier made a face towards me, but just continued.
"He was more upset upon the state of her return -not her vampirism- but more that she was emotionally unstable. It is still the worst i'd ever seen Maria. I thought she was going to try to kill Aro before we left."
"Maybe I should go see her," I sighed "I know it was years ago, but maybe I can still help?"
"By doing what?" He said almost nastily "Turn her human again, not offense intended to you Clara, but we both know that's what she'd want you to do."
"So what? At this point we both know that's what she really wants." I said, flaring my arms up like a child. My hair seemed to turn to flames as it flew up with my arms. I turned on my heels and began to walk away, towards the south.
"You don't even know where you're going!" Xavier called out a few steps behind me.
"I don't need to remember to find it, I apparently have to many memories attached to it I'll find it on instinct alone!" I yelled back over my shoulder, although glancing behind I didn't see him behind a moment later I would find out why.
Suddenly I ran into him as he'd caught up my pace and then some. "Xaiver you can come with or you can get outta my way, but you're not conving me not to try to help."
"Yeah kinda expected that from you Clara," He said helping me to my feet "guess that one thing people just gotta learn to love about you."
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Someone once told me that the relationship between Clara and Danny seemed rush, and I gotta tell you I know it was. See I'm a teenage who's never even had a real crush before, so you can see the problem with writing about relationships. Anyways I can't remember who it was but I owe them a dedication for being outgoing enough to critize so if it was you then let me know. Imma scan the comments and see if it's in there somewhere. Hope ya'll like the chapter.