ROSE
Hours after Nikolai had left, I took a shower and headed to sleep, as I still managed to sleep even after he told me that Lev would be returning from his trip.
I laid alone on the bed in utter darkness, as I had gotten used to sleeping alone these days since Lev was in Italy as he hadn't even called me, only messaged to see if I had any contractions.
But I ended waking up at the sounds of footsteps inside the master bedroom in the middle of the night.
Whoever they were, they tried to conceal their presence from me, as they didn't want to wake me up.
"Lev? You're back!" I sat up on the bed as I felt how a smile formed on my face because I felt happy that he was back.
But even as I called out his name, I got no answer in the dark as I picked up the gun beneath the pillow because if this was another assassination attempt on me, I would move out.
I carefully stood up from the bed without rustling or making too much sound, as I turned on the lights of the master bedroom.
"Rose? Aren't you supposed to be asleep?" Lev asks as he walks out of the walk-in closet while his dark tie was disheveled as well as his hair.
I tossed the gun on the bed as I made my way towards him, wrapping my arms around his neck because I was unable to stay away from him, I missed him.
However, he did not hug me back, as his arms did not respond to my hug.
He simply remained still without making any attempt to touch me, as he grew very stiff when I wrapped my arms around him.
"Are you okay?" I ask him out of concern as I peer up at his stern expression.
He remained silent as he took a step back away from me.
I grew upset because he always responded to my hugs, he always told me how much he loved it whenever I hugged him.
Lev walked back to the walk-in closet as he did not spare me one glance nor answer my question.
"Lev?" I called out for him while my voice came out as a whisper because he was acting not like himself.
"You can go to sleep now, I'm almost finished." He says loud enough for me to hear as I heard him digging through the closet.
"I can't sleep, I need to talk to you about something important." I tell him as I force my feet to move towards the closet.
"About what, exactly?" Lev asks from the walk-in closet, but I could still hear the sound of him digging through his closet as the sound did not stop.
"I thought a lot about it... but I think we should get married." I took gentle steps towards the closet where he was.
"I want to legitimize our children before they are born because I don't want them to be illegitimate. I don't want them to be looked down upon or mistreated by others. " I expressed my concerns about giving birth to illegitimate children.
I would love the twins regardless, but for their own safety it was best to get married.
But he did not answer as the sound of him digging through his closet did not stop.
What was he doing in there?
"We have a little time before their birth to get married." I elaborated while I took a few more steps towards the walk-in closet as I could notice my own heart beating since I was getting anxious.
"I'm afraid what would happen to the children if they are born as illegitimate..." My words faded as I could not make another sound the moment I stepped inside the walk-in closet.
It was all because of a five-letter sentence that came from him.
"I can not marry you." Lev answered as he stood up from the floor as my heart dropped to my feet and everything around me had become still.
My eyes drifted to the two large suitcases on the floor beside him as he seemed to have finished packing because his closet was empty.
He had been standing on his side of the closet where all of his suits, pants, clothes were stored, but now most of them were gone as he had put them inside the two large suitcases.
Many thoughts crossed my mind at that moment.
Where was he going?
Is he going on another business trip?
Why is his closet empty, and why are the suitcases stuffed with his clothes?
"Are the suitcases for you and me? Are we going somewhere?" I asked him, but he did not answer me as his gaze had grown cold.
"Why can't you marry me?" I sought answers from him as my eyes focused on the two suitcases beside him, at the same time frantically attempting to not panic or break down in front of him.
I was holding onto the smallest strings of hope, as I didn't want to admit to myself of a dark thought that hovered in the back of my mind.
The dark thought that he was leaving me, since he had never taken two large suitcases before, not even on his business trips.
He always packed a small bag of three suits and that was enough for him, he never had to pack this much.
He was not leaving me, right?
I glanced at the side of my closet that was opposite to his, but my clothes were still tucked away, all of my maternity pants, dresses, coats, shoes, accessories, underwear, everything was in place and nothing had been taken away.
He was leaving me.
I lay a hand on the wall next to me, or else I would crumble to the floor and fall apart.
"I have unfinished business, but I promise I will explain when I come back before the birth of the twins." He shortly gives me an explanation as he checks the watch on his wrist, and he seems to be in a hurry.
"How can you leave now?" My voice came out as a mere whisper because if I were to speak loudly enough, I would break apart.
"Give me time, Rose. All I need is a few weeks." He says, but he does not sound like himself.
I began to wonder who was this stranger in front of me?
"Why do you have to leave now? The babies could come at any moment." I urge an answer from him because I was done with his lies, it was lie after lie.
He wasn't the man I had made up in my mind, he was different, he had his own issues, pain and challenges as he was a human with flaws, but in my mind I made him perfect, flawless.
That was how much I had idealized him in my mind while I looked up at him because I didn't have any other people to look up at, he was the only adult who showed care and love for me.
My father was fucked in the head.
My mother never showed me an ounce of affection, she was either angry or cold towards me, there was no in-between.
My brothers did not have the capacity to take care of me because they didn't even know how to take care of themselves.
"Where are you going? Why can't you tell me?" I tried to force an answer out of him.
Lev had grown silent, he didn't say anything else even as I begged him in a weak and fragile voice.
"Where are you going?" My words turned into a broken-record because all I wanted from him was an answer.
Where was he going for a few weeks? Did he not understand that I could give birth at any point right now, but he decided to leave me for a few weeks when I was heavily pregnant.
Was this his way of backing out of fatherhood?
"Do you have cold feet because the twins can arrive at any moment now? Are you scared of becoming a father a second time?" I asked as I dug my nails into the wall that supported me.
I wanted Lev with me, before the birth of our twins and after they are born, he's the father of my children after all.
"I'm sorry, Rose... But please trust me on this." He spoke as he turned his gaze away from mine.
But I saw how he clenched his jaw in annoyance by my repeating questions that were endless.
How could I trust him when he was leaving me in the middle of the night without an explanation?
"Maybe you don't want to take responsibly for the twins?" I blurted out as I dug my nails deeper into the wall, but I could not feel the wrenching pain as I splintered one of my nails.
But he did not turn to look at me, he was keeping his eyes away from mine out of guilt? Shame? Frustration? Rage?
"Tell me the truth, Lev," I continued to beg him.
"I can not handle any more of your lies. I'm sick of them. I'm sick that you are not opening up to me and keeping lies that are ruining our relationship."
Lev stayed silent, his gaze turned away from mine while he clenched his fists and jaw from what seemed to be irritation.
He was not going to tell me, even as I begged him.
"I may be in love with you, but even I have my limits." I added, pulling my hand away from the wall as I ignored the blood that trickled out from one of my nails.
I could no longer support myself with one hand on the wall.
His lies as well as his silence were murdering pieces of my soul as I began to collapse on the floor with my back pressed against the wall.
"Please... Tell me." I beg as tears started to threaten to fall from the corner of my eyes.
"Tell me why you cannot marry me? Tell my why you are leaving when I could give birth at any given moment?" I was on the floor because I didn't think I could stand on my own two feet as the sight of his suitcases crushed my heart.
It felt like he had ripped my heart out of my chest, thrown it on the floor and trampled all over it.
"You can stay here for the time being, until I come back." Lev didn't give an answer to my questions, he trampled on them like he had trampled all over my heart.
Where was he going?
Why couldn't he tell me?
Was he going back to Italy?
Was he going to his ex-wife, Ana?
Or was she really his ex-wife in the first place? Maybe he was still married to her, like Nikolai had told me, as the young man claimed to me that he never lies.
All the thoughts consumed my mind one by one, and I could not put a halt to them, not only were my own thoughts ruining my mind, but Lev's silence was also destroying me.
"Why do you have to go now?" I lay a hand on my stomach as a slight pain grew in my lower abdomen, but the agony and chaos in my heart was far much worse.
"I would like to tell you, but I can't right now." He explained the same thing again and again as he kept on checking the watch on his wrist.
"Are you that much of a hurry to leave me?" I ask as the first few tears trickled out the corner of my eyes.
Lev wasn't denying anything, he did not correct me or assure me that he was not in a hurry to leave my side.
"Rose, I can't talk to you right now, I really need to go or else I will miss the flight." He responded with not a trace of shame or guilt in his voice as his eyes were glued on his watch.
"Are you going to her?" I say the first thing that came to my mind, as my mind was in a state of dread and chaos while I stared up at him from the floor.
But he did not deny anything.
Instead he picked up the two large suitcases in each hand and strode past me, not even giving me a second thought as his actions spoke louder than words.
I was like a second thought for him, or was I even a thought at all?
I wiped a few tears with the palm of my hands as I glanced back at him, but he did not glance back at me even as he made his way towards the door.
Did I really mean nothing to him? Did our children mean that little to him?
"Lev." I called out for him as he halted in his steps right as he was about to walk out the door, but still, he did not spare me a glance.
"If you don't tell me the truth right now, then do not bother to come back. I'm not a piece of filth that you can throw aside."
He did not look back at me as he answered, "I'm sorry, Rose. "
It were the last words he exchanged with me as he made his way out of the master bedroom, leaving me all alone with our two children.
°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･
Are you still with me in this story? Because you wont regret how it all will unfold, from here on to the ending... 😈 😼
A big ass thanks for everyone who reads this story, I'm shook that it has already reached over 200k reads (｡•᎑• )っ 💕
More chapters will come very very soon :)