Warning - drugs/ drug abuse/ Mentions of SA/ adult themes
I yawned as I slipped my shoes on and ran a hand through my hair trying to keep my head on straight after only one coffee. I pulled open my door with force as it had gotten stuck again and began to slowly trudge up the muggy stairs, as soon as I got to street level I noticed a car parked behind mine loaded with items I hadn't seen the car before but I didn't think too much about it and just got my mail. Once I got all my mail I headed back down but I noticed the door on the first level was open, I know that apartment's been empty for months so out of curiosity I peeked inside.
The apartment was much like my own a pretty bare-bones place, slightly nicer than mine given it was not as far down and damp, some boxes littered the place mostly with clothes spilling out, and I saw a girl.
Ooohh... Hello,
She stood sorting things and unpacking into the apartment, she had this insane pair of platform heels on, tights, some little blue shorts, a white... I think I can call that a top, it's a small top or it's a large bra not confident which I would class it as, with a sheer black top over it, she hadY/H/C hair hung loose and sweet Y/E/C eyes, she was small, really small actually, but that body... holy hell I'd do anything to get my hands on a body like that.
She spots me looking through her door and jumps a little,
"Can I help you?" she asked,
"Uhhh Hello,"
"Hello? Who are you?"
"Ohh uhh Benny Watts, I live downstairs."
"Oohh." she nodded, "Hi," she offered her hand, "Y/n,"
"Nice to meet you," I smiled giving her hand a shake, "You uhh you just moved in?"
"Yeah today," She nodded, "How long have you been here?"
"A good few years now, it's a nice place I hope you like it. But just be careful when it rains you find the place gets very damp after."
"Thanks," she chuckled, "Luckily I won't be here all that much I'll most be at work, So you won't get any trouble out of me,"
"Yeah I'm away a lot so you likely won't get a lot of trouble out of me either," I laughed, "What do you do if you don't mind me asking?"
"Ohh I work nights," She said, "Uhhh down at glitter bomb,"
"Hu... cool" I nodded,
I could have sworn I'd heard of that place before, it rang a bell but I don't think I've ever really paid much attention,
"Anyway, I uhh... I'm just downstairs if you need anything so, I'll let you get back to unpacking,"
"Thanks, see you around Benny,"
"Yeah see you around Y/n,"
I headed down to my apartment and threw my mail on the side before sitting down at my table and letting out a sigh,
"Hu... Hot neighbour, Cool," I nodded, before I glanced down at myself, "Oooh yeah... I went up in my kimono and jeans... Cool."
I Forced myself out of bed trying to get back on a regular sleep schedule after being so jet-lagged from Paris, I headed across the apartment and made myself a coffee. I leaned against the counter as I sipped the sweet coffee and I perked up a little as I heard a noise upstairs, I heard the stiff door to Y/n's apartment opening and the clobber of heels on the floor above me, Hu... I hadn't heard her all night, and actually last I heard her was just before I went to bed I heard her heading out, Well she did say she worked nights which would explain why I don't see her much. But after a while, I heard footsteps coming down and a knock on my door,
I perked up set my coffee down and headed to the door opening it with a shove,
"Ohh Hi Y/n," I smiled at her as she stood outside my apartment with a large black coat,
"Hey, I hate to be a bother..."
"no no, it's okay what's up?"
"I just finished a double shift, and my hot water is broken. I just need to clean up I'll be like ten minutes do you mind if I use your shower?"
"Ohh yeah sure no problem come right in," I told her letting her in and shutting the door behind her,
"Thanks I've called the landlord like six times about the water. I normally shower at work but it was so busy,"
"Yeah, the landlord is a cunt. Don't worry about it. Showers just there,"
"Thanks," she said,
"You know, you'll never get anything out of the landlord, If you want I can pop up one afternoon when you're at work and have a tinker with your water heater see what I can do?"
"Thanks but it's okay I'll call a guy next week when I get paid," she said as she slipped off her jacket and revealed her little white dress covered in glitter and shimmer, and her little boots which she then began unlacing,
"If you're sure, but he'll wanna come while you're there, and you work nights? so do you really want some guy banging around your water heater while you're trying to get some rest before work?"
"It's fine I sleep like death," she said kicking off her boots,
"Alright, I uhh I'll go sit in my bedroom-"
"It's fine. I don't care."
"You sure?" I chuckled,
"I really do not care," she laughed slipping off her dress and revealing her naked body covered in glitter and body shimmer, my eyes went wide as I tried to take in every single inch of her, as she pulled her hair out of pigtails,
"Uhhhhhhh... right... okay..." I gulped, as I looked her over.
She climbed into the shower and turned it on pulling the curtain across as she began to wash, I did my best to not look but FUCK she was hot. God damn, I would sell my fucking car for that ass! I did notice how small she was, I could see her ribs, and she looked weak but beautiful. I felt very strange about it. I wanted to touch her, to throw her on my bed and make love to her, but I also wanted to take her to a doctor and get her a pizza. I mean... If she walked in with a pizza and said we could eat it and then have sex... I'd probably marry her. I'd marry any girl who did that. I sat at my table and did my best to bury myself in my chess board and my coffee trying my best not to stare even if I REALLY wanted to.
"So uhh how was work?" I asked trying to break the tension,"
"Fine, I worked a double shift so my feet are killing me,"
"Maybe you need some new shoes? maybe get yourself something a little lower?"
"I have to wear six inches or higher,"
"Ahh... for work?"
"Yeah,"
"Ohh... What uhh what do you do exactly?"
"I work at glitter bomb,"
"Yeah, uhh that a clothing store? A resturant?"
"It's a club," she said turning off the shower,
"A club? Ohh you a waitress then?"
She opened the curtain revealing her clean naked body dripping with water, "A dancer." she said, "Could you grab me a towel?"
"oh... Uhhh yeah..." I nodded getting up from my seat fetching her a black towel and handing it over, "Soo uhh you dance? At glitter bomb... in six-inch heels... all night?"
"Yeah," she nodded drying herself off,
"... This uhhh this club, you uhh you mind I come to see you perform sometime?"
"Awww, no not at all Benny," She nodded, "I'm working again tonight if you want,"
"you are?! You just did a double shift,"
"Yeah I'll be fine," she shrugs getting herself a small dress from her bag which she changed into once she dried off, "Thanks for letting me borrow your shower, Benny,"
"Don't worry about it Y/n, if you want as your heating is down too you can sleep down here?"
"You don't mind?"
"No, no not at all, you can sleep in my living room," I told her,
"Thanks that would be really nice,"
I nodded and fetched the airbed from my bedroom and got it set up on the living room floor for her, "Here you go, and if you need another blanket let me know,"
"I will do," she nodded, "Thank you, Benny," she smiled giving my cheek a kiss which made me blush a little but I stopped short as she sat on the air bed and put two bottles on the table one red bottle and one blue, both filled with little pills,
"...What are those?" I asked,
"My pills."
"Pills?"
"Yeah, I take them every day."
"For what?"
"Well, I take them from the red bottle for energy, they keep me awake, help me dance, make sure I can... function,"
"And the blue bottle?"
"They help me sleep, calm me down, basically counteract the red ones."
"Uhh... okay... What are they?"
"Just medication." She shrugs, "Why?"
"Just curious," I told her,
she nodded and opened the blue bottle, she took two of the little pills from the bottle and forced them down without even a drink. Once she swallowed them and put the lid back on the bottle, she sighed and laid herself down on the airbed. "Goodnight Benny,"
"Night Y/n," I nodded,
I got back to my board and got on with some work for a while she tossed and turned until I looked up again and noticed she was dead asleep, she lay in the bed the blanket hardly over her as she breaths shallowly and her body still, as if she had fallen into a dead sleep, I picked myself up and walked over she didn't stir or even notice. I pulled the covers up her and again nothing as if I had never even noticed, I put my hand on her neck and for a few seconds her heart seemed strange but not enough to call an ambulance over, so I sat in my chair and kept an eye on her for a good few hours. I couldn't take it any and I grabbed the little blue bottle but the label had no information, no ingredients, no name, she didn't get these from a doctor that much was obvious. So I set the pills back and sat keeping an eye on her.
I parked up my car and climbed out with a sigh, As I did I saw Y/n all but bouncing down the street in her little plaid skirt and a tie-up shirt, herY/H/C hair in a ponytail, barefoot, and clearly... on fucking mars.
"Uhhh Hi Y/n,"
"Benjamin!" She giggled running over and jumping on me,
"Whoa! Hello... how uhh how are you doing?"
"Tree-men-dous..." she giggled, "tree... men... Benny..."
"Yes?"
"Are you a tree man?"
"A... A tree man?"
"Yes... so tall," She said patting my head, "And so fluffy," She giggled stroking my upper lip,
"Okay... are you alright Y/n?"
"I was meant to work today,"
"why aren't you at work?"
"Work... be clothed...."
"clo- closed? why is work closed?"
"Mices..."
"Mice? Ra- Rats! Your work is closed today for rats!"
"Big mices..."
"Okay, so why are you in the street?"
"I already took my work pills..."
"...Ahh... okay..." I nodded, "Come on Y/n, I'll get you to bed." I told her putting my arm around her and taking her down to her apartment, I took her inside and laid her in her bed, "You get some rest I'll make you some coffee." I told her before really looking around her apartment, she had no food, no coffee or tea, everything was clean and tidy but her shower which was covered in glitter, her bed was half broken and the sheets hadn't been changed in months, the bed stained without its sheet, she had clearly lost her bladder while in it more then once, she had stacks of her tips and pay on the coffee table, the place was so strange but it was obvious why, she takes her pill goes to work high as a space station and works in this state of altered reality ecstasy, then comes home takes her pills and falls as low as a mine shaft lays in her bed and sleeps until it all starts over. She doesn't cook. she doesn't clean. she doesn't entertain or have friends over. She works herself stupid, comes home and lays herself on her bed too out of it to even make it to the bathroom. I changed her bed for her and made the apartment as clean as I could getting her some groceries and such. All with her bouncing around like a child, before I sat her down and tried to help.
"Y/n?"
"Ummmmmm?"
"Are you okay?"
"Spectacular..."
"Because of your pills?"
"Mhm," she nodded lying around her sofa happily,
"Where do you get these pills, Y/n?"
"Dylan."
"Dylan? Your manager?"
"Dylan says I dance best with my pills,"
"...Y/n how long are your shifts?"
"I work from four to nine," she giggled,
"Four to nine? That's sixteen hours? How are you even able- You're able to dance and work sixteen-hour shifts becuase of these aren't you? If you don't take them you can't stay on your feet?"
"No... I will fall down..."
"Yeah from fucking exhaustion, how many days a week do you work?"
"...All,"
"All? Do you work sixteen-hour days, seven days a week? Y/n that's illegal! let alone unethical! Are all the girls on these?"
"We like to share..."
"Okay..." I sighed, "What about the blue pills? they put you to sleep?"
"Coutnerating"
"Co- Counteracting? So they bring you back down. Can... can you even sleep without them?"
"Nope. Only blue sleeps."
"Y/n... do you... like taking these? They make you manic, make you work your ass off, you don't eat, hardly even able to sleep, you don't have a life outside of this... do you like it?"
".... No... but it's work,"
"Do you want to stop?"
"... I don't know,"
"Would you want me to try and help you to stop?"
"I... I don't know-"
"Well, what do you want Y/n, anything in the world what do you want?"
"... peace." she said, "for a while,"
"What does peace look like?"
"the sunset... birds in the sky... ocean as it kisses the sand... the warm gentle wind..."
I smiled a moment and took her hand, "I travel a lot, you know that have you travelled much?" I chuckled,
"I've never left New York..."
"Well... I know that the best most beautiful beach I have ever seen in the world is this little place in Hawaii called Hanauma Bay, there is this beach and it is beautiful the sea is clear, the sky stretches for miles with hardly a cloud, the sand is that sweet golden colour that feels like your walking over pillows," I explained,
"It sounds like heaven,"
"It's close. You know... I could take you someday? just you and me. Would you like that?" I asked and she nodded, "Okay, How about we make a little deal? You can stop taking these, and I'll help you, and once you feel like you don't need them anymore, I'll take you there. I promise."
"You mean it?"
"I mean it. I swear it."
"Okay," she nodded,
I woke to a loud banging on my door I got up and rubbed my eyes slipping my kimono on and forcing open the door where I saw Y/n in her nightie shivering and crying,
"Whoa whoa! Are you okay!"
"I... I can't remember how to sleep..." she shivered,
"It's okay, come on" I let her in and hugged her,
"I need my-"
"No, no I know it's scary. But you promised you'd keep your blue pills down here with me just for this weekend."
"Please... please Benny I can't sleep,"
"How about just for an hour, you come lay in my bed. if you still can't sleep... you can have one pill. if not you just get some rest and I'll carry you back to your bed okay?
"...okay"
"good girl, come on," I cooed taking her to bed with me, I tucked her in, gave her the best pillow and laid down with her I stroked her hair softly and let her cuddle me as much as she wanted, "You still up from work?"
"Mhm,"
"How many did Dylan make you take tonight?"
"Four..."
"Okay..." I sighed, "Did he come back with you tonight?"
She nodded,
"Okay..." I sighed trying not to groan at the thought, Dylan did this a lot he'd come home with her when she was too off it to say no,
"You don't mind me staying?"
"Not at all," I cooed, "You're safe here with me. I promise,"
"Benny?"
"yes, Y/n?"
"Could I kiss you?"
"... you don't have to do that-"
"I want to,"
"only if you're sure it's what you want."
"I'm sure,"
"Okay," I nodded
I didn't move I let her come to me, and she moved close giving my lips a soft kiss, I kissed her back softly and gently, but she tried for more but I moved back,
"No."
"But-"
"Y/n No."
"...don't you want to?"
"I want to..." I gasped, "But not when you're like this." I whispered, "When you feel yourself again, then we will. But not until."
"Okay..." she nodded cuddling up to me and soon enough she began to drift away, "Thank you, Benny,"
"You're welcome Y/n,"
I headed through the city, I promised Y/n I'd pick her up and take her for breakfast, I found Glitter bomb and headed inside. I didn't need to pay the cover as the door guy knew me fairly well now, I headed inside the dark and smoky room, the floor covered in glitter. Men who had been here all night looming like dogs at the bottom of stages, The girls covered head to toe in body shimmer, with chunkier glitter across their breasts as was the gimmick here. I headed to the corner stage popular as always, with the silver pole in the centre.
Y/n danced there, I admit she looked beautiful as always, Her hair pinned up in a bun with shimmer and iridescent glitter glued in, her pale skin coated with silver body shimmer giving her almost a robotic look as her skin shined and shimmered. Her breasts were covered in iridescent glitter glued to her breasts like pasties, and a pair of white glittery panties all that concealed her, in eight-inch iridescent platform heels, she danced and took her tips quickly. I went over and waved at her, and she smiled and continued her dance part of me was struggling to see if she really saw me, she was out of it as she often was at work, she always took her red pills before work to 'help her have the energy to dance' even if they often meant she was off planet. But her boss Dylan insisted on it, half the time I thought he hated me, and just wanted to undermine me, as I'd get her to slow down for a few days and then he'd take her in for a double shift and pump her full of god knows what.
Once she finished her dance she went backstage so I went to the stage door luckily he let me in too, so I headed back and found her at her vanity,
"Benny!" she giggled,
"Hi Y/n," I smiled kissing her head, "Are you ready my little dancer, for a waffle?"
"waffles!" she giggled,
"come on get changed and we'll get going,"
"Can we have French toast too?"
"If your quick yes."
"whoa- whoa- what's all this then?" Dylan laughed as he came back, "Where are you off to in such a hurry?"
"We're going for waffles!" Y/n giggled,
"Aww honey you have a shift remember," he told her,
"Uhh no she doesn't." I snapped,
"Yeah, she does. she just got here."
"she's been here since four yesterday I know. I brought her."
"no, no she just got here. sit on down and do your make-up so you can get out on time,"
"But... but Benny you said it was time for waffles?" she asked,
"It is time for waffles, I'm taking you for breakfast just as I promised." I told her, "He's trying to make you work a double without telling you. Or paying you."
"Dylan!" she complained,
"How about you back the hell off Benny,"
"How about you leave her the fuck alone."
"she's my employee,"
"she's my girlfriend."
"Fine. She can go." he sighed, "but you're not having waffles. you need to stay skinny."
"She can have one waffle."
"No, she can't."
"Yes. she can."
"She puts on a single pound she hasn't got a job here."
"Fine." I glared, "She doesn't need your job. come on Y/n," I told her,
I sighed as I cradled Y/n in my arms she had gotten the jitters again so I held her tightly to stop her from hurting herself as she shook and trembled, I could feel her crying into my shirt so I kissed her head and did my best to make her feel safe, warm and comfortable. But she was struggling so badly with violent mood swings since she stopped taking the pills completely, I was proud of her, but also very scared for her. She was getting somewhat better, she was going full days without her pills, and she was gaining weight again, but she was having these horrible episodes of panic and violent swings,
"shhh shhh shh... it's okay... it okay Y/n,"
"Benny I'm scared...."
"I know It's okay, I'm going to keep you safe,"
"I love you..."
"I love you too," I told her giving her a sweet kiss,
I sighed as I sat reading my book when Y/n kissed me and got up heading towards the bedroom.
"where are you going?"
"To bed," she said sheepishly,
"Alright, have a nice sleep sweetheart,"
"I will," she smiled, and as she headed into the bedroom I heard the clatter of the pill bottle,
"Y/n."
"Yes, Benny?"
"You said you were going to try and sleep without them tonight?"
"Can I just try one more night?"
"you promised,"
"Please!"
"No. You promised not tonight."
"Benny!"
"Y/n No, you are doing so good please just one more night if you can't handle it tomorrow you can have one."
"That's not fair Benny!"
"It's very fair,"
"No! I need them!"
"You don't need them," I told her, "You've slept so well this last week, without your pills,"
"Benny please! I need them,"
"No. You are not having them tonight."
"Yes, I am!"
"No your not!"
"Benny Let me have my pill!"
"no! You don't need them you not having them!"
"What if I go. then you can't stop me!"
"-what..."
"You can't stop me if I leave!"
"Y/n-"
"I'm going! and you can't stop me!"
"Y/n no..." I began, "You can't just leave,"
"I am going!" she demanded packing a bag,
"No, no Okay! Okay, you can have one pill."
"No!"
"What!"
"No. I am going. Then I can do whatever I want." she said putting her pill bottles in her bag and heading to the door,
"Y/n please," I began chasing after her, "Please just come back you can take them I promise!"
She huffed and rushed up to her own apartment even though she hadn't been in it in months,
"Y/n!" I yelled but she slammed the door, "Y/n! please..."
I hadn't seen Y/n in weeks, I was so worried about her, I had tried to call her, tried to see her, even tried going to her old job but I never got to see her. I headed down the street tempted to get myself some pizza for dinner, I cut through an alley and I saw a box and someone shivering inside, I glanced at them and felt bad, but I froze up as I saw herY/H/C hair.
"N-Y/n!" I moved to see her,
"B- benny..." she shivered, as she sat protected with a box and blanket around her,
"Ohh my god- What happened?"
"I- I-"
"It's okay, it's okay. Come on I'll take you home with me,"
"No, I have a shift,"
"A shift? Oh my- You went back to working at glitter bomb!"
She nodded, "Dylan gave me my job back..."
"so you're still taking the pills?"
she nodded,
"You're still dancing?"
"I am,"
"I thought you wanted something better than this?"
"This is what I'm worth."
"No, you're are worth far far more than this Y/n, You're smart and beautiful, and you deserve so much more than this," I told her, "Come on you can come back and sleep in my bed, I'll run you a hot bath, we can get as much pizza and waffles as you want, just come back. And I swear to you I will keep you safe, give you a life better than this, and we can take that trip? like we always promised?"
"I have a shift... I'm sorry Benny," she said gathering her stuff and heading down the street towards the club, but I was not letting her walk away again, I followed her, all the way to Glitterbomb.
The bouncer refused to let me in like he used to so I had to pay double cover for him to let me in.
I tried to go backstage but they wouldn't let me, so I had to wait I sat by her usual stage and I could see Dylan talking to her backstage belittling her, I wanted to run back there and deck him. He forced her to take more red pills and forced her out as the music began. I tried to talk to her, tried to reason with her but she wasn't even in this universe. She must have been taking them while on the street, I can imagine why I imagine it's the only way she'd even sleep out there and now after he shoved her full of even more she was a new level of out of it. I'd never seen her so bad, I tried to reason with her but she didn't even know it was me.
I couldn't leave her, not like this.
suddenly as she did a spin she fell to the floor, her body began to contort and tremble worse than I had ever seen,
"Y/n!" I bolted to her side, Dylan came over but I pushed him away, "She needs an ambulance! someone call an ambulance now!" I demanded as I felt her heart jumping and bucking before she suddenly stopped. "No... no no no no..." I muttered I quickly did my best to restart her heart I know I was hurting her but I couldn't stop I felt her heart start again and I cried I was so happy she was okay, moments after the ambulance arrived and whisked her away. I got the name of the hospital from them and bolted home getting in my car and driving to the hospital.
I sat in the waiting room for hours watching people come and go, but no news. I was close to giving up but I just wanted to see she was alive. A nurse came over and I perked up having been sleeping on my jacket.
"Benny watts?"
"Yes!"
"You came in looking for Y/n correct?"
"Yes. yes, that's right is she okay!"
"she's just woken up now."
"...Ohh thank god,"
"she has said you can see her if you'd like?"
I nodded and followed the nurse through to a small room where Y/n sat, they cleaned her up but she looked terrible, barely alive, cables and tubes coming from her, she was so small I could see every bone, her hair thin and falling,
"Y/n... ohhh sweetheart, what have you done to yourself," I muttered crying as I sat beside her and took her hand,
"Benny..."
"It's me. It's me I'm right here."
"I'm sorry-"
"You have nothing to be sorry about. you hear me."
"Benny... I don't want a life like this..."
"I promise you if it's what you want. I will throw those pills down the toilet and I will be here and hold your hand every step until you are better. I will give you a proper life, no more dancing, no more pills, no more Dylan, no more street corners, Just you and me. I will keep you safe, and I'll do everything we always promised becuase I love you. But you have to promise to try. to promise to work with me. if you want this life with me I will stop at nothing to give you it,"
"I do..."
"That's my girl," I cooed kissing her forehead, "I won't leave your side, not for a moment my love." I cooed kissing her hand,
"I love you, Benny..."
"I love you too" I cooed, kissing her lips,
"You'll really help after everything-"
"Of course I will,"
"Will you still take me to that beach you promised?"
"I promise I will, as soon as you're better."
I yawned a little as I was pretty tired, watching the view. The sweet sunset across the sky, the infinite stretching sea, the soft sand below me, my hat on my head to keep out the sun as my elbows kept me up to watch the waves and sky, the heat warm and cosy, everything so happy and content.
I felt Y/n sit down with me and I looked at her with a wide smile, seeing her with her toes in the sand, her little blue bikini, her body nice and smooth so much so I felt a desire to tickle her tummy, herY/H/C hair up in a bun, her sunglasses still on her face.
"Hi," she giggled,
"Hi," I smiled kissing her, "What have you got there?"
"waffles with strawberries and ice cream,"
"Ooohh May I?"
She smiled and offered me a fork full,
"Ummm that's good," I smiled, "a lot of strawberry syrup though sweetheart,"
"I like it,"
"I'm glad you like it," I smiled pulling her so she could rest on my shoulder, "Worth it?"
"All worth it," she smiled kissing my cheek,