I had just finished packing a carry on bag for the twins when my phone rang, the screen lighting up with Auston's name as I hit the answer button.
"Hey, so we're landing around the same time you guys are but we have to head right to the rink so I won't get to see you guys until after the game"
"Yea no worries, you know where we'll be so just give the girls a wave, i'm sure they won't be hard to find"
"I believe it, my parents will be sitting behind you. Are you one hundred percent sure you're comfortable with this?"
"Aus, I promise it's okay. They're their grandparents and I want the girls to be surrounded with family. Text me when you land yea?"
" 'Course, tell the girls I love em"
"I will"
After hanging up I zipped up the bag and set it down at the doorway.
The Maple Leafs were starting a road series in Arizona, his parents attending the game to watch them and he had invited me and the girls to come so they could meet his parents and watch him play.
Of course I was nervous to see his parents again, I had always liked them and I assumed they liked me but I knew they probably saw me different now that I was the mother of their grandchildren that they didn't know existed for three years.
The twins were napping in bed as I knew the airport would be tiring for them so I walked into the room to get them up.
I rubbed their backs slowly and voiced a quiet "let's get up."
The girls stirred and rubbed their eyes, tired looks gracing both their faces. I got them up to brush their teeth and hair, changing Jovie into a pair of leggings and an oversized sweatshirt while June wore leggings and Auston's ridiculously large leafs shirt that she refused to take off. I knew when to pick my battles so I let her keep the shirt dress on and just stuck her jacket over it.
The ride to the airport was quiet as the girls were still tired, by the time we got there they had finally begun waking up more.
It was difficult getting them through security and customs with how curious and excited they were having never been in an airport before. I explained to them before we left that we had to be serious until mommy says we can be silly again so besides the numerous questions and pointing fingers, they behaved well through everything.
Auston was texting me occasionally while we waited for our flight as the girls would grab and stare at the screen trying to get me to tell him something they want him to know. I asked him to facetime us when he was available so the girls would calm down.
"Hi daddy" the twins said in unison.
"Hi angels, are you excited to go on a plane?"
"Yea we're going to Messican!" Jovie said excitedly.
Auston laughed as I could tell he had no idea what she was saying.
"Jovie, it's Mexico sweetheart. And when I said we were going to daddy's first home, I meant Arizona. He wasn't born in Mexico"
The twins giggled at her mistake as Auston was dying of laughter on the other end. I could hear a couple of his teammates also giggling in the back. Mitch came into the frame as he was looking for something behind Auston.
"Uncle Mitchie, auntie Steph coming?" June asked sweetly.
He cracked a wide smile as he leaned in to the camera, "She is coming! We'll all hang out while we're here" he said enthusiastically.
The girls continued to babble on to Auston as he would nod his head and throw in "mhm's" every now and then, his teammates continuing to giggle at their assistant captain acting so sweet.
We hung up the phone when our flight was getting ready to board. The plane ride was smooth as the girls slept for most of the flight but I could tell they were getting extremely cranky once we walked into the airport in Arizona. Jovie grumbled as we walked hand in hand and June was quiet as she sensed her sister's uneasy temperament.
We sat down at a small area in the airport so I could get them something to eat, reminding them that we would be going to dad's game and meeting grandma and grandpa. The twins perked up a bit at that but I could tell they would be exhausted by the end of the day.
Once we got to the arena, I found Steph who was sitting next to us and noticed the seats behind us still empty, his parents and sisters must not have arrived yet.
I walked down the aisle to our seats and got us settled.
"My goodness someone looks sleepy" Steph joked in a sweet voice to Jovie and June.
The two shyly smiled as I could tell they didn't have the energy to be goofy right now.
Once the players began skating out, the girls walked down to the glass once again to see Auston. I knew the media would get more suspicious now, having seen Auston interact with them before and now that he was in his hometown he would have a lot more attention on him.
We weren't far from the glass so I sat back and opted for keeping an eye on them as I made small talk with Steph. Auston had skated over to goof around with the twins as I continued talking to Steph about how the girls were and how work was going for her. Too distracted by my conversation with Steph and Auston and Mitch playing with the girls, I hadn't noticed the presence behind us until I heard a voice.
"Chantelle?" a female voice called.
I turned around to see Auston's family, his mom with a growing smile on her face.
"Hi Ema, it's been so long" I said enthusiastically, opening my arms for a hug.
"Let me get a look at you" She said sweetly, leaning back enough to look over my features.
Brian also moved in for a hug, asking how I was doing before taking a seat. I hugged both his sisters as I noticed Ema now looking past me.
Jovie and June were playing some form of rock paper scissor through the glass with Auston (they just like doing the actions I don't even think they know how to play).
"Is that?" Ema asked quietly, light tears pooling in her eyes.
I gave her a soft smile as I called the girls back up, Auston noticing their lack of attention and looking up at me with a goofy smile, waving through the glass. I giggled as I waved back, helping the girls back up to their seats.
"Jo and Junie, this is your grandma and grandpa, these are daddy's parents. And these are your aunts, daddy's big and little sisters" I introduced.
Jovie waved with a big smile on her face, June shyly waving in suit of her sister. Ema reached forward to grab their hands, telling them how beautiful they are. I could tell that June instantly took a liking to Ema, constantly stealing glances at her or just blatantly staring at her face.
"She's pretty" June whispered, leaning into my neck so only I would hear her.
I smiled at her sweetness as I brushed her hair out of her face, leaning in closer to her.
"Do you want to go sit with grandma" I whispered as I leaned into June.
She shrugged her shoulders and shyly looked at her feet.
"I think she would really like to sit with you" I encouraged.
She looked up at me with a smile as she slowly stood up, climbing onto her seat backwards and looking at Ema. She shyly asked to sit with her as Brian lifted her over the seat, placing her in Ema's lap as the two began talking about each other.
Jovie ended up making grabby hands towards Brian as the twins never strayed too far from each other.
As the game began, the twins sat with Auston's parents, asking questions and cheering with them. Brian and Ema were so happy sitting with the girls, explaining rules of hockey to them and telling them stories about Auston when he was their age. Halfway through the second period, Auston scored the game-tying goal and we all cheered, Jovie standing on Brian's lap with her hands in the air.
I heard the arena get louder as I looked forward, noticing we were on the Jumbotron and immediately feeling nervous that the girls wouldn't like it.
when I looked back to try and comfort them, Jovie was already dancing goofily as Brian held her arms out, dancing with her, June and Ema giggling uncontrollably next to them.
I looked out onto the ice to see Auston with the widest grin staring up at the screen, the arena cheering louder and louder. It felt surreal to take in.
Despite the lack of regret I felt for keeping the girls, I won't lie and say it's been easy. There were many nights when everything felt too much and I would question if I made the right choice and if I was really the best mom for the girls. I was angry at the world for being so against me, making it so hard to provide for the three of us. I was guilty for needing my dad's help, ashamed to let people know. All these issues accumulated to make me feel miserable at times but sitting here, watching the girls have so much fun, seeing Auston have the opportunity to be apart of our lives and the three of them becoming a family, it made everything I went through finally worth something.
Once the game ended with a win, we all walked down to the leafs change room and waited outside for them. June stood next to me holding onto my leg while Jovie sat on Brian's shoulders.
I watched as the players started walking out, Max seeing June and making a B-line towards her as the two had become quite the pair of friends. I giggled at their friendship as I saw Auston out of the corner of my eye, expecting him to go to the girls who had excitedly yelled "daddy" but instead he walked straight towards me with a large smile on his face.
I was shocked when he hugged me first but wrapped my arms around his large frame.
"I missed you"
I giggled at that, wondering what had gotten into him.
"I missed you too but we've been apart for longer" I joked.
Because of his busy schedule this week, we hadn't seen Auston in person in 4 days, something I didn't think would have this effect on him.
As he pulled away, his hold on me lingered for a couple more seconds before he turned to the girls who were now jumping for his attention, scooping them into his arms for a hug.
He situated the twins on his hips as he leaned down to allow his mom to kiss him on the cheek, his dad ruffling his hair as they caught up.
I stepped away to talk with Mitch and Steph as I wanted to give Auston some privacy with his family, keeping my eye on him and the twins as I mingled with some other teammates.
I was talking with Will and Tim when I felt a hand brush the small of my back, turning around to see Auston behind me with a smile.
"The girls are pretty much out, are you ready to head to my parents?"
I glanced over to see June asleep in Ema's hold and Jovie fighting sleep in Alex's arms. I gave a wave to the boys as we quickly said goodbye to everyone before heading outside to the car.
The ride was silent as I glanced at the girls through the rear view mirror on occasion as their heads hung low with sleep and swayed with the movements of the car.
"I missed you"
I giggled, "So i've heard"
"I really did though. I know we hadn't seen each other in 3 years but i'm so used to being around you three now"
"Well they really missed you too, always asked about you and when you were coming home"
"Only the girls missed me?"
"Maybe I missed you a bit too" I said shyly, glad the darkness of the night covered the blush that bloomed across my cheeks.
When we pulled in and grabbed the girls, Auston's dad came out to lead us to the guest bedroom. We set the girls down on the bed as we quickly changed them into pyjamas while trying not to wake them. After tucking them in, we quietly left the room, closing the door behind us.
"I set up Auston's old room for you two to sleep in if that's alright?" Ema said as we stepped into the living room.
I felt blush rise to my cheeks at the thought of sharing a bed with Auston again, still not used to be so close to him again.
"Of course, thank you again for letting us stay here Ema"
"Oh my goodness Chantelle you're always welcome, you're family"
"Sorry to cut the conversation short but it's been a long day, i'm gonna get ready for bed. Thank you guys again" I said directed towards Auston's parents.
Ema gave me another quick hug before I walked down the hallway, feeling Auston trailing behind me like a shadow.
I changed into shorts and a large t-shirt while Auston stripped to his underwear, climbing into the bed that was smaller than the one we previously shared with our daughters.
I shyly crawled in as I faced away from him, finding it difficult to hide my blush as there was not a lot of room due to his size.
"Can you move over?" I whispered out.
"Can I- No I can't move over Chan, you're literally taking up the whole bed"
"Oh, i'm taking up the whole bed? I'm not the one who's 6'3 and eats like a linebacker. I have no room over here"
"Hey, i'm a big boy I need my portions. Just scooch over" he said, giving me a light shove.
I shoved him back as I was running out of room on the bed. Auston attempted to give another playful shove but underestimated our size difference, nearly launching me off the bed as he quickly wrapped his arm around me to keep me from falling as we both fell into a fit of giggles.
I turned around to face him as we continued to laugh, our faces now within inches of each other.
"I told you I had no room" I said quietly, so close to him that our noses were almost touching.
He continued to stare at me as I felt blush bloom across my cheeks, noticing Auston had bloomed a flush of his own.
He slowly moved his face closer to mine, allowing him to close the gap as our lips met for the first time in three years.
I never really understood that whole feeling of sparks and knowing when the kiss was just right, but something about this one was electric. I felt giddy as he slipped his tongue in softly, my hand coming up to caress his cheek.
Once we parted, slightly out of breath, we smiled at each other. I slid closer to him and dug my head into his chest, falling asleep to his warmth and steady breathing.
─────────── ˚ʚ💌ɞ˚ ─────────
I felt the sun over my eyelids as I stretched out my aching muscles, feeling something warm underneath me. I cracked my eyes open to see Auston's arm wrapped around my waist, his body still slumped with sleep.
I took my time to stare at his features, taking in the sharpness of his jaw and softness of his skin. Before I could spend anymore time staring at him, I heard little feet pad down the hallway followed by loud voices.
"Mom, Dad!" The twins called out, bursting through the door with sleep still evident on their faces. They raced over to the bed and stuck their arms up in the air to ask for help.
I laughed as I lifted them onto the mattress, snuggling the both of them as they giggled.
"We made breakfast with abuela" Jovie said cutely as I smiled at the new name for Ema.
"You did? Was she teaching you about Mexico?" I asked with exaggerated surprise.
"Yup" She said, popping the 'p'.
I laughed as she sat on my stomach, continuing to tell me things Ema taught her about. As she was babbling, June crawled over to Auston, lying down on his chest and rubbing her hand across the stubble of his beard.
I saw him begin to stir at the feeling, peeking his eyes open and immediately smiling down at June.
He ran his hands through her hair and wrapped his arms around her, turning onto his side and snuggling her into his chest as she giggled. He continued to lay motionless with his eyes closed as I could see June's little hand pop out from under his large frame, patting him with impatience.
"Daddy we have to go down, abuela made breakfast" she said cutely.
Auston laughed as he grabbed her cheeks in his hands, placing butterfly kisses all over her face.
"You're too cute Junebug. Okay let's get up"
We all walked down the stairs to see the table set for breakfast.
"Oh, Ema you should have woken me up so I could help with breakfast" I rushed out.
"No, no, no sit down, you're guests in this house you don't do anything" she said as she sat the girls next to Auston who had already started making their plates for them.
June had some toast and bacon because she didn't like eggs, but Jovie had toast with an omelette because she didn't like bacon.
We all sat at the table and talked, his sisters getting to know the girls better and the girls getting more comfortable with Auston's family.
"Daddy help please?" Jovie asked as she looked up at Auston, insinuating that she needed help cutting the omelette.
He reached over her small frame with his fork and knife, slicing the food into smaller bite-sized pieces for her.
As he continued helping her with her breakfast, I looked over to his mom to see a peaceful smile on her face, her eyes a little glossy.
We spent the rest of the day in the pool with his family, the girls climbing all over him in the water while he took turns throwing them in. Their loud laughter filled the backyard as Brian would also bring them down to the deep end and help them swim around by pulling them through the water.
Everything felt perfect. Well, almost.
It was Auston, something was off with him. He was fine with his family and the twins, but he'd barely spoken a full sentence to me today. He also hasn't shown me any signs of affection, not that I expect that from him, but that's just been his normal behaviour that it's a little weird to me now.
I felt a little embarrassed at the fact that maybe he regretted the kiss, maybe I was the problem and I wasn't seeing it?
That night, as we were packing up ours and the girls stuff in silence, I decided to ask him about it.
"Is everything okay Aus?"
"Yea, why wouldn't it be?"
"I don't know, you just seem kinda off with me today"
"I don't think i've been, nothings wrong" He said continuing to pack, not even looking at me.
I felt hurt as I turned back to the twins bags.
"Do you regret it?" I said quieter, almost not wanting to hear his answer.
He froze in his spot and looked at me, unable to say anything. I continued to stare at him, looking for an answer until he looked away again.
He cleared his throat awkwardly before speaking, "I just didn't expect you to kiss me, that's all"
"Sorry? You were the one who leaned in, are you seriously trying to flake this onto me?"
"Relax it's not a big deal, I just said I wasn't expecting it, that's all"
I felt tears of frustration well in my eyes, I couldn't believe his behaviour right now.
"You're such an asshole" I said, my voice slightly wavering enough for Auston's head to snap towards me and notice that I was on the verge of crying.
As he made a move to comfort me, the twins tumbled through the doorway with their shoes on.
"Mom, Dad we go noww" Jovie drew out in exaggeration.
I quickly wiped my eyes as I smiled at the girls, "Yep we're ready to go, come on"
As we said goodbye to his family, Auston's gaze lingered on me the entire time, watching my every move. He was selfish if he was about to feign concern over a situation that he caused. I hugged his mom as she could tell something was off between us, giving me a tight hug and telling me to call her if I ever needed anything, to which I was grateful.
The drive to the airport was long and quiet, Auston would occasionally try and start a conversation but I would shut it down with one word answers, not in the mood to play house with him today since I guess that's all we've been doing to him.
Arriving at home, I told him it was best he slept at his own place and he agreed without a fight, which hurt more than I wanted to admit.
I didn't understand, everything was going so well, I finally felt like everything was worth it, why did he have to fuck everything up.