Slowly, and painfully, the king opened his eyes. In a daze, he struggled to move, his stomach radiating a sharp pain. His father cried out and crumbled as his mother hugged him, warm tears and sobs shaking both their bodies.
"My son! My son!" Beom yelled, wiping his tears with his trembling fists. "Oh, thank God!" He kissed the cross on his brown necklace.
He heard a door opening, along with a shout and clipping. He jumped when he felt wet on his cold hands. He looked down, and his three concerned dogs were whining. All of them were cut in their faces.
"What happened?" He touched his mother's hands. "What's going on, mom?"
"My love." her voice was shaking. "You were stabbed." Lloyd opened his mouth to speak, yet the words escaped his mind. "Hunter came into your room and stabbed you in your stomach and chest. The guards are putting him in jail right now."
He paused, his head on his hand. "How?"
Her voice broke as she covered her face. "Your window."
He was confused, and then it clicked. The window, the fucking window. The vines.
"It's my fault." His parents both looked up. "It's all my fault."
"No, my baby." His father walked to him and hugged his neck. Lloyd wanted to hug back, but everything hurt. Everything felt raw. "It's Hunter's."
Marie put Apple on the bed. Her son looked at her tiny face as she whined and kissed his. There was a little scar on her nose. She was hurt, and it was his fault. He felt tears fall as his lip quivered. His mother hugged his head as his father was digging into his pockets.
"Here you go, my salangseuleoun ai." He pulled out a cigarette and held up to Lloyd's lips, making him laugh.
"You're letting me smoke?" Beom lit it for him.
"Yes, because I know they make you feel better." He took it out so the other could exhale before putting it back. It was a pacifier. A disgusting, burning pacifier. "It's not your fault. Truly."
A guard came in, covered in blood. Lloyd looked away, hiding his eyes in his father's big shoulder. "My king, he's been sent to the jail. Your family has been informed, and the prince will be called shortly."
"Oh no, please don't." He lifted his head up. "There's no reason to overwhelm him with such a foolish incident." He was proud of himself for sounding so mature. The guard bowed and then held the door open for Anne, who was walking with her walker.
"Mon chérie, are you alright? You certainly gave everyone the scare." Marie helped her sit. "Mr. Beom, why are you letting that boy smoke?"
He muttered an apology before taking the cigarette away. She held her nephew's trembling hand. He never noticed how yellow her eyes were before. He felt calm. He thought about it. It was ridiculous.
"What's so funny?" His mother's voice was still shaky.
He controlled it. "It's just kinda funny when you think about."
Beom crossed his arms. "Nothing about this is funny, Lloyd."
"It is!"
-----
He slept through the rest of the day with his parents, who jumped at every sound and had their arms around him. When he woke up, his phone was turned off, and he was dizzy, though he enjoyed all the visits. White came by to say he had a cough from the cigarettes, so he gave them up cold turkey and wanted to start living, saying he was going to ask out a woman from work. His brothers came by with music they've been working and said they'll wait for him to play the piano at it. His sisters came with flowers. James and Charles came with tea.
"Any good news?" Lloyd asked as he drank the cup of tea, the hotness feeling good going down his throat.
Charles smiled and put his cup down. "Well, actually, I'm getting married!"
The others squealed, hurting Lloyd, but he didn't care. He did it again when Charles asked him to be his best man. Him and the girlfriend, Jangmi, have been going out since the very beginning of the war. In fact, their first date was at the City Hall because they were working with the Red Cross. Lloyd never met her, but James did. She was the definition of Vagian beauty. She was tall, thin, pale, black-haired, and tiny eyed. She even had small feet, which was rumored to be a sign of good fertility and health in Vagu.
"As for me," James said once the excitement died down. "me and my mom are going to Mexico in August for a job opportunity. I could actually be a real artist!"
"That's great." Lloyd felt his wounds hurt, but not as much as last night. "This kinda happened a few weeks ago, but Mulligan called me."
The two's eyes shot out their heads before they went on a rant, cursing him out. The other had to move his hands around to tell them that he apologized.
"And you forgave him?!" James put his hand to his forehead. "Lordddddd."
"Oh girl, please, I have like a whole husband now-" he suddenly grabbed his phone. "I don't think he's been texting me, has he?"
He opened his phone, and immediately, all the texts and calls spammed at once. They read them together. Apparently, Marcel found out from the news and told François fifteen minutes after it happened, and he sent him over a hundred messages and calls since.
"Aw, François' worried."
The phone rang, Lloyd instantly answered and put it on speaker. "Hello?"
"Lloyd!" François' voice was high-pitched. It sounded like he's been crying. "Oh, Lloyd! I thought you were dead!"
"No, no! I'm not dead, baby!"
Charles answered, "Nah, he's not dead. He's chilling in bed."
"I'm coming right now, I'm in Gafn."
They all exclaimed, "You're coming today?!"
"Yes, of course. I need to be with you." His voice was shaking through the phone. "I'll be there in less than an hour. I love you so much." He hung up.
Lloyd struggled out of bed, James helping him. He didn't want his husband, who just came back from an unbearable situation, to see him in such a pathetic state. He was given a cane, his royal clothes, and his crown. It hurt so much, but he'll be fine. He felt dizzy, but his friends were there to give encouragement. He had to be outside, where a concerned crowd and a million cameras were in his face.
"Do you know the attacker?"
"Are you alright?"
"Where is Prince François?"
All those questions and so little time.
"I'm perfectly well. You do not need to worry about your king nor his pets." His voice was smooth like butter, although it hurt to take a deep breath. "The attacker has been arrested and is awaiting punishment. My husband is coming shortly from France. He had family matters to deal with." He saw them at ease again. Great. "I've received many good wishes from the public and people outside the nation. I express my gratitude. Thank you all. Have a blessed day."
Once he was back inside, he had to sit down and smoke. He rubbed his head. What a situation.
"You look sick." He looked up at Charles. "Are you okay? I think you should go back to bed."
"Yeah, you look exhausted."
"No, I can't. What if François comes?" He picked up a lighter. "I'll just smoke."
His vision was spotty, trying to see the light from his lighter. He felt James touch his shoulders.
-------
He woke up in his bed, the same bed where it happened. His heart dropped before he realized the window was closed. He tried to get up, but he got too dizzy and laid his head back down, his eyes feeling heavy again.
--------
"Good morning, sleepyhead."
His mother was rubbing a cloth on his forehead. He sighed, embracing the coolness. "Mom," his throat was dry. "what happened?"
"My love, you had a seizure. You've been sleeping since twelve in the afternoon." She gave him a glass of water, holding it for him as he drank.
"What time is it?"
"Around eight-"
"-Eight?!" He sat up, only to lay back down because he was still lightheaded. Benjamin moved to kiss his face. He patted his head. The little ones were sleeping by the bed. "François-"
"-He's here. He's very worried about you." She changed his cloth for a wetter one. "Don't move, I'll bring him here.
She left, keeping the door open. He sighed again and reached for his pack by his nightstand, only for them to be replaced by a note from Marie stating no cigarettes for today. It was fine, the day would be over soon.
"Dear boy."
He looked up. He opened his arms for the rushing redhead, embracing him the best he could. He felt tears getting on his blanket, then his own on his face.
"I'm sorry I wasn't there!" François gasped in between sobs. "I should've been here. You would've never gotten hurt!"
"He would've hurt you too!"
"But you were alone again! I'm sorry!"
They comforted each other before they laid down together. Benjamin refused to move, so François had to lay on the edge of the bed to hug his husband close to his body. He kissed his head, his hair, everything he missed.
"He could've killed you." He stroked Lloyd's face. It was red and hot. "Are you feeling better? You had a seizure. I'm sorry I missed that too." His eyes were full of tears, some spilling down his face.
"It's ok. I feel better, just tired." He turned to hug him back, feeling his pitbull's big head on his back.
François was nearly hysterical, crying so much he couldn't get a word out. He held Lloyd as if he was glass and would break the second he'll let go.
"Franny, I'm so sorry." He stroked his hair, his hands shaking. "I know you're going through a lot, and I know this doesn't help, I'm sorry about that. I didn't want you to find out, I didn't want to overwhelm you."
"I know." His voice sounded a woman's. "But like-" his sobs cut him off. "-I just saw what happened and I tried calling you and you weren't picking up and your parents weren't picking up and people kept saying you were dead-" he couldn't finish, his voice was straining.
"Everyone was stressed, and I slept through yesterday and today. I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to stress you out."
"It's not your fault."
There was so much to say. Lloyd's stabbing. François' grief. The letter.
The letter.
Lloyd's eyes were big. He never thought he would feel sympathy and understanding for such a vile woman. François was apologizing for simply being born, which his husband quickly put a stop to it.
"You're a gift, Franny, you truly are." He looked into his eyes. "It's not your fault that you were born under those circumstances, but me and lots of other people are very happy you're here."
"Mom wasn't." He sniffled, wiping his tears.
"You couldn't control that. It's not your fault she was cruel to you, regardless of what happened to her." He hugged him close, his wound hurting though he could care less. "I'm so very glad you're here. I'm so happy to know you and love you."
"R-really?"
"Yeah, of course! I love you."
He looked up, his eyes bright. "I love you too." He started to cry again. "God, I'm so sorry. I know I'm really not supposed to be doing this right now."
"What do you mean? It's okay to be sad." He felt himself becoming tired. He fought it.
"You just got stabbed, and you're hurt, and I'm here whining. I'm such a bad husband." He sat up, rubbing his curls. Lloyd didn't mean to find that as attractive as he did.
"Hey, you're not." He was able to sit up, though it hurt. "You've been through a lot. Parent loss, that bombshell, then dumb me not closing that window. If anything, I'm the bad husband."
"No, you're not. You really aren't." He touched his hands and stroked his boney fingers. "If I'm not a bad husband, then you aren't one either."
"Hmm, that's fair." They hugged each other, breathing in each other's smell. "How's everyone in France doing?"
"Lloydie, you shouldn't be worrying about others." He rubbed his back. "Marcel's fine. He could honestly give two shits."
"Can't blame him."
"Yeah. But my grandparents, jeez." He pulled away and touched his shoulder. They felt strong, still not as much as his own. "I've never seen them like that. My grandpa's eyes were nearly swollen shut just from crying. It really hurt."
"That's horrible. I hope they'll get better soon, that's a really hard situation." He kicked himself in the ass when he realized that he almost put his parents in that unbearable position more than once. "How are you taking this? I know you and her have a....um..bond. An um bond."
François smiled slightly. "I'm taking this...as good as one could take it, I guess. The first day was really hard, but it got easier. You helped a lot, and the dogs."
Lloyd looked over at Benjamin, who was slowly pushing them off so he could have the bed to himself. "They missed you a lot. It wasn't the same without you." The dog snored.
"They were jumping on me the minute I came back, but he stayed with you all day. The guards and the doctors couldn't breathe around you without him growling." He used a high-pitched tone. "But Ben needs to get off the bed so we can sleep."
The dog didn't move. Lloyd patted his back and told him to get off. He was given side-eye.
"Benjamin." François stood over him, the dog's big eyes staring back in annoyance. "Don't make me get the guards to move you."
There was a huff. The redhead tried throwing a treat, and he didn't move an itch.
"Benny, go on the floor, please." Lloyd tried to sound tough, but he was smiling and rubbing his back.
François, with struggle, was able to move him close to Lloyd on the floor. Benjamin eventually fell asleep to his owner, stroking his chest, snoring. They both laid down comfortably, though still holding each other.
"Are you okay?" Lloyd was laying his head on the pillow, François' across from him.
"Yeah, you?"
"Yeah, just dizzy."
François' voice was gentle as he stroked his cheek, feeling his white peachfuzz. "Have you've been dizzy all day?"
He yawned. "Yeah, but it's good. I'm not like dying." He looked down as his husband made a face. "Sorry."
"Can I see your bandage?"
"It's only on my stomach and chest. Don't touch it." He pulled up his shirt, his arms shaking. His whole stomach and chest were wrapped, stopping at his neck. The other stared, sadness clouding his eyes. "Top surgery scars gonna go hard."
He laughed, covering his mouth. "Really?" Lloyd smiled at him. He loved his laugh.
He pulled his shirt down. "I'm good, though. It's just a little painful."
"I'm sorry about that." François touched his face again, taking the cloth off. "But I'm here now, I'm not leaving you." He swallowed. He had to keep strong this time.
"Thank you." Lloyd rubbed his eyes. It felt like he could pass out any minute.
"Come here." The other wrapped his arms around him, trying his best to be gentle. The smaller hugged his torso, resting his heavy head on his chest.
They laid together in silence. They desperately needed this. François was rubbing his head. Lloyd felt too tired to do anything.
"I'm so relieved you're alright." The gentle voice woke the one with white hair up. "I thought I lost you. Everyone was saying so." He stopped. He didn't let his voice quiver. "I don't want to imagine a lifetime without you, ever."
"...I'm glad I'm not dead either. Dying isn't cool." He yawned again.
The taller kissed his head, stroking his hair. "I love you, maybe more than you'll ever realize, my dear."
"I think I know." His voice was sassy and playful. "But I have a secret that you'll never know."
"What?"
Lloyd turned his head to look at him. "I love you more than the moon."
François looked down, a smile on his face. "I had no idea."
With effort, the shorter brought his husband's face closer to him and kissed his lips. His husband hugged his head and body, still stroking his hair. They forgot what the other tasted like. Lloyd especially enjoyed this. Things were so boring without him. It was like his favorite flower in the garden was missing and now finally began to blossom. He hugged his back, rubbing it.
The lights were suddenly turned on. Lloyd felt François quickly pull away and saw him frantically looking at his hair.
"Lloyd, you have gray hairs." His voice was straining. It was going to break any minute. "Oh my God, there's a black one."
"I'm sure it's-" the redhead ran out into this hallway.
Lloyd touched his hair. This wasn't a big deal to him. It was expected. Besides, he was getting older. Hair does that. He heard François shout for a doctor, followed by footsteps. His parents, friends, siblings, aunts, uncle, and his little niece all came rushing in, making such a scene that Benjamin immediately jumped up to protect him, the smaller two circling around.
"Lloyd, are you okay?" White's voice was frantic as his parents ran to his side, checking for the hairs.
"He was right." He heard the quiver in their voices. Beom hugged his neck, rubbing his cross with his index fingers. "Oh, my boy."
"I've arrived." The doctor and François came running in. "Everyone out, including the animals."
Reluctantly, they were pushed out. Apple was allowed to stay on his lap, getting stroked as the woman checked his pulse, throat, and everything else.
"Clara." Sarah whispered as she watched Luna played with Blueberry, letting the dog lick her face. "We shouldn't do this."
"Do what?"
"We shouldn't be heirs."
The two women silently crept away to the balcony, stars shining above them. They sat together.
"It's not safe. It's not a good idea."
"I think you're wrong. Luna could really benefit from this. She'll have the best schools, the best clothes, she'll have the best everything."
They could hear their child talking to her grandfather. "But look what happened. It could happen to us." She touched her face. "It could happen to her."
Clara looked down, playing with her ring. She then looked at her wife. She looked as beautiful as the day they first met in that fashion show six years ago, and she was just as anxious from before. "I think we'll discuss this more at home, I don't think here is really the best place."
She sighed, touching her bun. "Sure."
They walked back to Lloyd's room. Sarah noticed Clara wasn't holding her hand. She's been so distant lately that it made no sense. They always loved to touch each other and spend time alone or with their daughter. But now, she was always out with friends or working.
"Mommy and mom!" Luna ran up to them and pulled on the Princess of Wales' pink dress. "Uncle Lloyd is good! Grandpa said he's turning into Frankenstein!"
She laughed slightly. "Ah."
They walked in. Lloyd was now standing up with a black cane, his father and husband hovering over him.
"I'm fine, surely." He was speaking Korean in a smooth and relaxed tone. "Today was just a hard day."
"But-"
"Tomorrow is another day, hyeong." Ho was mindlessly looking at himself in the mirror, playing with the little ponytail on his head.
"Uncle is right." He was smoking again, much to his mother's dismay. "The doctor said it's nothing to worry about. As long as it's not spreading rapidly, it's all good."
François sighed, holding his husband's hand. "You shouldn't even be sleeping here, I'm sure you don't want to be in this room anymore." He almost said we more than once.
"Hm, yeah, you're right."
His father gave them a room far away from the old one with a window that is very hard to open. It was smaller and royal purple.
"It looks very nice." He turned to François. "It's our favorite color."
"Wo, I didn't notice."
He laid down again, yawning. He felt François' warmth and lean closer to it. "Hi."
"Hi." He kissed his face. "Are you sure you're feeling well?"
"Yesss. Now cuddles."
"Yes."
They held each other again, Lloyd falling asleep as soon as he closed his eyes again.
----
It's my fault.
It's my fault.
I left him again.
Fuck.
Fuck.
Why do I always do this?
It's my fault.