❃𝙺𝚒𝚊𝚛𝚊❃
I wasn't expecting to be accepted. By anyone, really. I figured I'd have to pay choices I made years ago, and not being accepted would be one of them. And I thought I was okay with that.
I didn't think my son's dad and I would be anything more than civil co-parents. I thought his family would be nothing more than civil too, maybe secretly pissed at me for keeping their extra family member from them. I thought I'd lose out on a good chunk on my savings on making sure I still had my son around me majority of the time.
But none of that really happened. Some of it, but not all. Instead, I'm more than civil with my son's dad—more than friendly, even. I lay in his arms every night and am actively carrying another one of his children. It wasn't all smooth sailing with his family at first, but it went better than I expected it to, and now it's at a nice and friendly space. And all of that money I thought I'd have to spend on heartbreaking legal shit? Didn't touch a dime of it. Didn't even really have to consider it because he killed that idea quick.
It's really not what I expected though. I didn't think I'd be invited anywhere along with them at their family trips, but here I am—Getting sat down on the couch with a lemonade being slipped into my hand by a sweet woman who's pretty much welcomed me from the beginning.
She has her reservations, sure, but it's all things she seems to have found it in her heart to forgive me for. She's never said anything about how I didn't give Noah the chance to be in our son's life from the beginning, but I'm sure she wasn't exactly thrilled about that. Plus, Noah mentioned something about her also not being thrilled our son was born out of wedlock in the first place.
She can't be too happy that we're about to have another still without being married, but she insists on giving me the most comfortable seat on the couch even though I'm not exactly that far along for all those good swelling and back issues and things. She treats Cameron the same way she treats her other great grandkids, and she treats me the same way she treats her children and grandchildren.
Pretty much everyone I've spoken to has accepted it by now. I haven't talked to everyone, and Noah has admitted that we will always be this little family those gossiping family members in the bedrooms mention here and there along with the other gossip, but for the most part, we're left alone.
For the most part. Just want to say it again so it gets across properly. For the most part...we are left alone.
His family have bounced to the same page my mom has settled on. I've spoken to her and got her to treat Noah better, but now that she's realized we're together and will more than likely stay that way, she has decided that we now need to get married. She doesn't care that we're not at that level in our relationship yet, just that I am not married to my son's dad.
Quite the one-eighty she did, I know. She now has something to chat about with Noah's family though, so there's that, right?
Noah doesn't seem to mind everyone's insistence that we go ahead and get married now. He teases me often about it because of how hilarious he finds it. Personally, I don't see why that's funny. It's actually terrifying. Even more so now that Cameron's catching onto the joke. They both just encourage each other.
They giggle with each other the entire time Molly and Angela hint obviously at me about a pretty wedding dress that'll hide my growing belly perfectly. I smile dryly and nod along.
"Or you could get it done before your stomach gets too big." Anegla is quick to suggest. My silence and polite smile seem to make them believe I'm considering it. I'm not. "That way you could wear a dress that shows your figure better. Not like those poofy dresses that make you look like a child's doll. Gosh—I told Aaliyah the same thing for her wedding, but guess what kind of dress she wore?"
I awkwardly glance across the room at Aaliyah who sits right there listening to this. Her eyes narrow, arms crossed over her chest and leg crossed over the other. Her foot bounces rhythmically, keeping quiet over there.
"Oh, but it was a nice dress." Molly reaches over to touch Angela's arm dismissively. "It went a little low on the breast area, but it was quite lovely." She insists. She's the only one who seems to acknowledge Aaliyah's presence over there.
Abby, the girl who I had the pleasure of meeting at Thanksgiving, is quick to jump into this conversation. "She didn't have a long train though, remember?" She reminds, wide eyed as if that is such an awful thing.
Angela rests a hand on her chest as she gasps. "Oh, right. Yes, her dress touched the floor, but it didn't drag far behind her like I told her it was supposed to."
I awkwardly sit here while they continue to go on about the specifics of Aaliyah's dress. I grimace a little the longer they go on because Aaliyah's dress starts to sound prettier and prettier. I make a mental note to ask for pictures from her wedding day later.
"Oh! You know what? You guys should totally have a summer wedding." Abby smiles brightly as she points absently towards the ground. "Somewhere by the water."
"Really?" Angela's nose scrunches. "I was thinking fall when the leaves change colors. I have a friend with a beautiful place overlooking the water. I'm sure she'd be willing to rent it to us for a few days. It'll be lovely."
The two of them continue on with ideas for my nonexistent wedding, Angela insisting on a fall wedding and Abby insisting on a summer one. Molly, meanwhile, stays quiet while she probably considers the options. I allow them to go on for a bit until I've had enough of my wedding that I'm not even engaged for yet being planned for me.
I clear my throat. They don't stop talking, but I don't let that stop me from speaking up. "Our relationship is still too new for us to be thinking about marriage." I announce.
They all freeze, staring at me as if I've lost my mind. I can't tell if it's because of what I say or if it's because I say anything at all to interrupt them.
Abby raises a brow. "But it's not too early to have two kids together?" She dryly questions.
I falter at that. I can't really say anything much about it because of the lengths we failed to go through with before we even made ourselves official. Neither of us seem to know why we did that, but neither of us have a problem with it either. I don't think.
Noah scoffs at that. I think he's about to unleash something on them, but someone across the way does it for us both.
"Abby, says you. Aren't you the one with a pregnancy test in your purse? At least Kiara has a boyfriend—Where's yours?"
All eyes slowly drift to Aaliyah. She still sits with her arms crossed and foot bouncing, scowling now at Abby. Eyes quickly move back to Abby once we all process what was just said. Abby's eyes are wide, darting around rapidly and mouth opening and closing with strange stuttering noises. "I—No!" She eventually manages to choke out.
"Yes!" Aaliyah argues, uncrossing her leg as she leans forward in her seat. "Don't you dare try to scare my friend away when you're not exactly little miss perfect either." She scolds, more angry than I think anyone in this room has ever seen her. That's obvious with the blanket of silence laid over the entire room.
We all sort of just stare at her when she huffs and shoots up from her seat, storming out of the room once she seems to decide she needs some air. For a moment longer, we all stay silent as we process that.
Alex clears his throat to break the silence. I swear when I look over, I see this gleam of pride in his eyes. He masks that quick though and gives this concerned little shrug. "Hormones." He offers along with that shrug. "Been all over the place since Jacob." He reasons simply.
"Ah," Molly acknowledges with an awkward nod. Abby looks down at her lap quietly.
I stand from the couch to simply slip my way out of the room too. No one starts talking again when I get up, so I assume it's going to be silent for a while longer.
I wander off towards where I remember the back door is and where I assume Aaliyah stormed off to. "Aaliyah?" I call on a half whisper once I open the door.
"Hi."
I look over to see her standing beside the wall. I frown a bit as I wander over to her. "Hi." I repeat quietly. "Are you okay?"
"I've never done that before." She admits. Slowly, a little smile starts to grow on her face. "It's kinda scary."
I laugh at that. "It was badass." I decide as I cross my arms absently across my chest.
Her eyes light up. "Really?" She beams. "Alex says I've really come out of my shell since we had Elaina. I wonder if it's, like, doubled since we've had Jacob."
I smile. I lean against the rough wall of the house. "Seems like it." I hum. "But that was also really sweet. Thank you for that. You really didn't have to."
"I wanted to." She scoffs quietly. "They're so mean sometimes." She shakes her head. "Apparently, Abby did the same thing to my husband before we had Elaina. Totally cornered him like that."
My jaw drops. "No...Seriously?"
She nodded quickly. "Yeah. She told him he wouldn't be a good dad at a wedding. Like—Who does that? That's so mean!"
"So mean." I agree. "And how old is she? Like, twenty-three? Four?" I shake my head as I guess.
"Something like that." She dismissively acknowledges. "And, like, eighteen when she told Alex he wouldn't be a good dad. What does she know? She was eighteen!"
I laugh at the bitterness in her voice. "Well, I think she was wrong." I decide confidently.
"Me too." She agrees. "About all of it."
I hum as I glance off to the side. "I don't know..."
She frowns. "Don't know what?"
"If she was really wrong about me." I grimace a bit. "I mean—I am still having two kids with this guy. How new can our relationship seriously be?"
She shrugs. "You're kind of already bound together anyway."
"Right?"
"But a different kind of bound." She reasons, arguing against herself just like I am right now. I sigh deeply, allowing her to come to the same trapped conclusion as me.
"Right." I repeat. "So, we're bound for probably the rest of our lives, but not bound to each other like living in the same house." I point out. "And finances." I grimace.
"Ooh!" She snaps her fingers, and that tells me she's about to jump to a new topic. "That reminds me. Don't share finances with Noah. He's stupid and bad at math." She warns.
"Good to know." I nod along even though I already knew he sucked at math. I've never seen his finances, but I know he's okay enough to be able to spend randomly on gifts for people around him. Even still, the guy sucks at quick thinking math. I'd like to keep us separate, and I doubt he'd have a problem with that.
"Yeah. He's not a leech, but he'd totally spend some money that was yours on something stupid. Like toys from Amazon—Do you know how many random things he gets from Amazon?"
"Oh, my God. I meant to ask about that—What is that?" I shake my head in confusion. He loves that goddamn app.
She shrugs helplessly. "No idea. Good luck with that if you decide to marry him. You're gonna get boxes, like, every other day."
"Oh, right. Marrying him." I remind myself. Sometimes when she jumps to a new conversation, I forget about our last one just as quick as she does. "I mean, he hasn't offered a ring yet, so should I really even be worried?" I grimace.
Aaliyah sighs to think. "Probably not." She decides after a moment. "Honestly, I don't know. Alex won't tell me what they talk about." She grumbles bitterly. "If he's even talking about it with Alex."
I tilt my head curiously, momentarily jumping to a new conversation too. "So...he doesn't talk about his friends..." I slowly start squinting at her. "Does he have any?" I whisper awkwardly. I feel like I should know that myself, but I don't. I don't have any other friends other than his sister, and he never mentions his...so, I guess I just haven't really thought to ask.
"Mm..." Aaliyah seems to debate on answering. "Not really, no." She eventually decides it's fine. "His last friend was one from, like, high school or college. They were really close—Noah went to California at some point to visit. Or...I don't know. Watch over his family or something—I really don't know, he never told me." She dismisses herself and goes on to specifically answer me. "Anyway, I think he stopped talking to him after that, and that was his last friend. So...no. He hasn't had any friends since before I even started dating my husband. And now his only friend is Alex."
"Gotcha." I whisper as I look down at the grass. "That's probably another reason not to marry him, right?" I ask bluntly. "I mean, the fact that I didn't know that, and all."
She shrugs. "He doesn't talk much about the past. I don't think it's really on you." She decides dismissively.
I clear my throat awkwardly. "Anyway," I glance over my shoulder briefly. "Alex blamed what you said on your hormones." I inform with wide eyes.
She grins. "You don't know how much of a get out of jail free card that is." She murmurs smugly. "It's an awful thing to use because it's basically like when a guy asks if you're on your period when you're mad—"
I nod. "—Mm—"
"—but if you get past that and use it for good, then it's awesome." She giggles proudly. "All I have to do when we get back is basically just wave like I'm sorry, and nobody will say anything."
I shake my head with a smile. "Well, I'm ready whenever you are."
"Mm...not yet." She decides with a scrunched nose. "They're probably talking about Abby now."
"Is it bad that I kind of feel bad for her?"
She lets out a deep, relived breath. "Oh, thank God. Me too." She presses a hand to her chest. I smile. "Maybe I shouldn't have mentioned the test." She suggests, grimacing. "Think it was too much?"
"I can't tell, so we're just going to say it wasn't." I decide confidently. Maybe it's selfish to do that just to make ourselves feel better, but it was kinda selfish of her to call me out like that in front of everyone just for the satisfaction it probably gives her.
Despite the fact that someone never fails to get angry or upset at Noah's family's gatherings, I realize that I wouldn't mind adding myself to this family. I guess those who I get along great with sort of redeem the rest of them. And even the ones I don't always get along with have their moments where we actually do get along.
Like Noah's mom. Just the other day, she casually sent me a good morning message. Just checking in, she said. I thought it was specifically just to check in on how my pregnancy is going, but she didn't mention that until the very end of the conversation, only after she'd asked how I'd been and how me and Noah are doing with all the adjustments we've gone through lately.
Even when she did finally ask, it was only a brief hope you're not having a hard time thing. She said Noah mentioned pregnancy isn't easy on me, and reminded me that she was there if and when I ever needed her.
Interestingly, she added a little clarification to that offer. If I ever wanted to need her. As if she recognizes that one day, I may need her but not want to need her. It was a little acknowledgment that we don't have much of a relationship, but that she was there anyway as a family member.
I don't know if that offer is for me, my children, or just in general. Either way, I've noted it. I returned the offer too, not just because it was polite, but because that's what you're supposed to do. Whether we like it or not, we're family now. We both know that, so we go ahead and do what family does. Even if we don't particularly like each other.
His family is a lot bigger than mine, so of course there are more...obstacles in our lives. But weirdly enough, I kind of like it. He very clearly finds it annoying, but I think that's just because he's used to it. I'm not as used to it all, despite my mom who has her own little quirks about her.
"You know, if I married him, we'd be sister-in-laws."
Aaliyah's jaw slowly drops at the realization. "I've always wanted a sister." She whispers. Slow grins start growing on both of our faces the longer we stare at each other.
"Me too."