The agony of waiting was unbearable. The ache of forgetting was just as painful. However, the ultimate torment was the uncertainty of not knowing what to do. Carlton had endured an entire week of anticipation, hoping for some kind of response from Elena regarding the scandalous pictures that had circulated in the media. He was certain that the leak would prompt her to reach out, but to his dismay, there was only silence.
Constantly checking his phone for any media updates or sightings of Elena leaving her workplace, or from any other place, Carlton found only gossip and speculation about their relationship. Despite his father's harsh rebuke, he refused to give up hope of a future with her. Determined to prove his devotion, he remained steadfast and resilient in his pursuit of Elena.
With a swift stroke of his brush, Carlton deftly captured the essence of his subject, adjusting his position slightly to ensure every detail was perfect. Throughout the day, he poured his emotions into the painting, using the creative process as a form of catharsis to alleviate the stress weighing on his mind.
Pausing for a moment, Carlton studied the turmoil depicted in the painting before him. A soft sigh escaped his lips, a reflection of the emotions that had been released onto the canvas.
"I believe I shall name you... The Man in Colored Distress," Carlton murmured, his eyes drawn to the sorrowful expression captured on the painted man's face. A sigh escaped his lips as he contemplated the tumultuous journey of love, a concept that had brought him more pain than joy. Lost in thought, his gaze drifted into the void as memories of moments shared with Elena flooded his mind. With a final sigh, he gently set down the brush and closed his eyes, allowing himself to get lost in a sea of emotions.
"Oh brother, did you know that excessive sighing can be your body's way of crying out for help?" Pamela remarked as she entered the room unannounced, catching Carlton completely off guard.
"What the heck, Pam? How did you even get into my apartment?" Carlton exclaimed in disbelief, staring at her poker face.
"Oh... I'm sorry... It seems your passcode was a bit predictable! I mean, really, who uses their security number as their door code?" she retorted, crossing her arms defensively. Carlton's mouth formed an 'o' as he stood there, utterly stunned by her response.
"You know my security number? What is wrong with you? How did you even get it? That's personal!" Carlton continued to question her in disbelief. Pamela rolled her eyes and walked over to a chair in the corner, sitting down as she watched his puzzled expressions unfold.
"Carl, just stop with all the questions... Jeez, are you really that bothered that your sister knows your security number?" she chided back. Carlton sighed in defeat, rubbing his temples in frustration.
"Ugh, just forget it... Stop coming into my house uninvited! It's creepy and rude," Carlton snapped, turning back to his painting and grabbing a thin brush to sign his name beneath the canvas. Pamela smiled at his reaction, accustomed to being ignored by him. However, she couldn't shake the feeling that something was amiss as she observed the painting. Slowly, she approached the canvas, studying it with curiosity.
"How fascinating is art! Such a vibrant yet melancholic painting," Pamela exclaimed, her eyes filled with wonder as she gazed at the canvas. Carlton smiled slightly as he finished signing his name.
"It speaks volumes about your current state," Pamela remarked, her eyes lingering on Carlton. His chest tightened at her observation.
"My current state?" He chuckled, standing up and making his way to the sink to wash his hands. Pamela scoffed softly at his reaction.
"I mean... I'm not the one who got kicked out of the house for life!" Pamela retorted, a smug smile playing on her lips. Carlton exhaled slowly as he turned off the tap.
"And I distinctly remember Father bitterly lamenting to Mother about his eldest child having the audacity to betray him!" she continued. Carlton had heard enough and swiftly turned around to confront her.
"It's my life, my decision! I won't stay here and listen to you or anyone else, because I'm tired of sacrificing everything for this family without getting anything for myself!" Carlton declared firmly, looking down at his sister. She chuckled and sighed at his evident frustration.
"You really don't grasp why I'm here, do you? You think I'm only concerned about our family's situation? You don't know me at all," she retorted. Carlton raised an eyebrow in confusion as he tried to make sense of her words.
"Then why are you here?" Carlton questioned, his eyes searching her face for answers. She turned away briefly, then pulled a chair and sat down.
"I came because something inside me is stirring, like tingling deep inside my soul," she explained, taking a seat. Carlton's eyes widened, his lips pressing together in contemplation.
"Tingling, Pam? Are you kidding me?" Carlton chuckled, a smile spreading across his face as he struggled to believe her explanation.
"Laugh all you want, but it's true! I know my family doesn't take me seriously. I'm just a joke to you guys," she stated, her gaze steady. Carlton cleared his throat, trying to stifle his laughter, aware of his sister's sensitivity when it came to her spiritual beliefs.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend you... It's just that you know I don't believe in those stuff. But I promise to respect who you are and what you do," Carlton apologized, pulling up a chair and sitting across from her.
"This tingling sensation is something I experience when I sense that someone close to me is suffering," she explained, her gaze unwavering. However, in a moment of lightheartedness, a small chuckle escaped Carlton's lips as his eyes briefly glanced downward.
"Suffering?" Carlton's voice took on a deeper, more serious tone, signaling a shift in his demeanor. Fear and shame were evident in his countenance.
"Yeah, it's a profound, deeply rooted suffering that pertains to someone else in their life," she replied. His hands moved to rub his face slowly, awaiting her next words.
"Carlton, if you'd just give me a chance to show you that I can help with whatever you're going through," Pamela pleaded.
"Let me read your palm," she continued, her eyes filled with empathy as she noticed her brother's distress.
"Pam... I just don't want to have false hope or end up disappointed by whatever you might tell me," Carlton admitted, fear evident in his eyes. She swiftly pulled her chair closer to her brother, clasping his hands in hers.
"Please, trust me... I only want to help you, because I sense that you've lost yourself along the way," she murmured, and a tear fell from his eye unexpectedly. His own eyes glistened with tears, reflecting a deep sadness within them. A heavy sigh escaped him, his hands moving to cover his face as he wept.
"I leaked those photos, Pam! And now I'm regretting it!! I just wanted her to reach out to me... to hear her voice, see her, touch her. But nothing has worked... nothing has made her feel like she needs me. I'm... I'm desperate!!" Carlton's eyes were filled with tears as he poured out his emotions to his sister. Pamela sighed, feeling devastated as she witnessed his pain.
"I feel like such a joke to her! Like less than a man... like I don't matter. I feel like I'm just a piece of garbage, replaceable to her! Every night, I fall asleep listening to her voice notes... only to cry myself to sleep because that's the only way I can have her now... through a device... listening to recordings from months ago!" Carlton's voice trembled with emotion as he bared his heart to his sister.
"Why is she like that? Why can't she see the man I am... Why can't she understand that all I think about is her, and that all I want is her love!" Carlton's voice was filled with longing and frustration as he spoke to his sister.
"I want a future with her... I want it all with her! I'm crazy about her, Pamela! I'm like a dog begging for her attention!"
"And look what she made me do! I leaked our secret to the media! I let myself be consumed by all these overwhelming emotions because I can't bear it any longer... I can't endure another minute without her!" Carlton's voice cracked with emotion as he turned away, his face flushed from crying. Tears flowed freely from his eyes, as he released the pain and longing from deep within his soul.
"Now my father wants me to address this to the media as a fling... and nothing more. He completely ignores my pleas for him to accept my decisions about who I want to be with!"
"All this time, I've been praying for her to call me so we can sort this out together, but it's like I mean nothing to her... she knows how to break me every time!" His body shook with sobs and tears, and Pamela reached out to touch his knee, leaning in to meet his gaze.
"You are truly in love! It's evident to me that what you have with her wasn't just a fling. You love her deeply, I see it in your eyes," Pamela whispered, offering comfort to his troubled and sorrow-filled mind. She gently took his hands and brought them closer, examining his palms. They were wet and warm, her index finger tracing the lines on his hands.
Carlton didn't resist and watched his sister's every movement as she examined his hands. He observed how her eyes widened and honed in on the larger middle crease of his right palm.
"What... what do you see?" he asked, a hint of nervousness creeping into his voice as he noticed her expression shift slightly.
"There's a reason why she doesn't reciprocate any love in her life. It's clear," Pamela uttered, her gaze fixed on his palms. Carlton cleared his throat, preparing to speak.
"What's clear? Tell me!" he urged anxiously.
"All I see is a woman who loves no one and is desperate for approval from an alpha male in her life" Pamela stated, her eyes returning to his face.
"You can see all that from my palms?" Carlton said in disbelief, a small scoff escaping his lips, indicating his skepticism of her statement. Pamela smirked and raised an eyebrow at him.
"I can stop then," she uttered, but he quickly interrupted her.
"No... I mean... I'm sorry... please continue," he said, his eyes filled with apology and a plea for her to carry on.
"I can also see death lurking"
"Without your effort, she will fade away like a wilting bloom," she murmured, watching as his eyes grew wide with a mixture of shock and amusement.