I woke up due to the sunlight coming into the room. My face turned red as I wakes up and I quickly turns my head away and looks away from him. I look tired with my hair all over the place and my cheeks are now a bit flushed with red, this is because I can't help but feel embarrassed after what we did last night. Nakasuot na ako nang damit, tingin ko ay sinuotan niya ako nang damit niya
"Morning," sabi niya nang malumanay habang tinitingnan ako. Mayroon siyang mainit na ngiti sa kanyang mukha habang tinitingnan ako na may bahagyang pagkapula sa aking pisngi.
Hindi ko maiwasang mapangiti rin at maramdaman ang kaunting hiya dahil sa kung paano nagtapos ang aming gabi. Hindi ako sanay sa ganitong sitwasyon at hindi maiwasang maramdaman ang kaunting kaba sa kaniyang harap.
"Can I ask you something?" he said softly as he took a breath
Ang kanyang kamay ay nasa aking balikat na maamo nitong hinahawakan habang tinitingnan ako. Sa kahit anong dahilan, medyo pula ang kanyang mukha kahit na sinisikap niyang itago ito. Ramdam ko na sinisikap niyang hindi maging masyadong agresibo upang hindi ako matakot o mabahala..
"Ano ang gusto mong itanong?" sabi ko nang malumanay habang tinitingnan siya, medyo kalmado na ang aking mukha at unti-unti nang nagiging komportable sa kanya.
Nagulantang kami bigla ni Caleb na may kung anong pigura nang isang matandang babae ang pumasok sa loob
"Happy birthday calis--" Pati si manang ay nagulat. Bumalikwas ako at nag talukbong ka agad
"Wala akong nakita!" Sigaw nito at sinarado ang pintuan.
Fúck nakita kami, ano nalang iisipin ni manang, hind naman kasi ako nag la-lock. Sana'y kasi ako na pinapa-pasok nalang si manang dahil minsan hinahatiran niya ako nang pag-kain.
"Bahala kana riyan" I said softly as I stood up and I went to the bathroom to wash my face and fix my hair.
My mind is now filled with a million thoughts how is Manang going to react??
I look at the mirror and I see my red face, my hair is now a mess and my eyes look tired.
I sigh and I try to fix my hair even my face to make it look presentable.
I'm not sure how I'm going to pull this off, as long as she doesn't question us too much then we should be fine.
Matapos ang ilang minuto ng pagpipilit na mag-ayos, pakiramdam ko'y medyo mas maayos na ako ngayon. Mas kaunti na ang pula sa aking mukha at naayos na rin ang aking buhok.
Nagpalabas ako ng isa pang hininga at nagdesisyon na lumabas muli upang makita kung ano ang magiging reaksyon ni Manang.
When I come out, I see Manang looking at me directly. Nakangiti ito sa’kin at parang wala lang ang nakita niya, hindi ko nalang pinansin at hinayaan.
Sinikap kong hindi masyadong makipag-eye contact sa kanya at nagpasyang bumalik na lang sa aking kwarto.
Inaasahan kong magpapanggap na lang kami na walang nangyari at sana'y hindi na magbanggit si Manang tungkol dito pagkatapos.
I was about to get on my bed and I notice that my phone was ringing, I check who it was and I see that it was Keb, I quickly answered.
"Hello.. "
"Keb? Napatawag ka?"
"Oh yes.. Happy birthday, calista!" He said in playful tone.
"Paano mo nalaman?"
"Teka ah, nag stalk ako ng socmeds mo eh " keb teased me
I couldn't help but to chuckle "Stalker ka ah"
"Puwede ba pumunta?" Malumanay na tanong nito
Ano ba sasabihin ko kapag nag Oo ako, hindi naman saking bahay ito, kapag hindi ang bastos ko naman. "Uhm, message kita kapag nakapag-paalam ako"
"Ay ganun ba" He replied with a little bit of disappointment in his voice
I immediately ended the phone call and I turned my phone off as well. Nag pasya akong lumabas, tinignan ko rin ang mga notification ko, message's, maraming bumabati.
Masaya ako na binati ako ni daddy kahit pa-paano, nalaman ko rin na pauwi na siya nang ibang bansa so baka puwede na kaming mag kita. Si mommy naman. Wala!
"Happy birthday, hija" Rinig kong bulong sa gilid ko, may hawak-hawak itong cheesecake tapos may maliit na kandila. "Manang 9:00 am pa lang po, masyado pang maaga.
"Ay bakit, mag wish kana" Sambit nito, ang ibang katulong naman ay kinakantahan ako, umalis rin si Caleb. Hindi ko na alam kung saab siya nag punta.
Ipinikit ko ang mata ko, ang wish ko?
I didn't know what to wish for, my life has been full of problems and misery and all I want is to change that but I don't know if that wish will come true.
I don't know if I want to make a selfish wish or something practical but at the moment, all I want to wish for is to have someone that I can take care off and love unconditionally and that someone that would also love and take care of me.
Idinilat ko ang mata ko, naramdaman ko ang pag tulo nang luha ko, masaya lang ako dahil kahit kailan hindi ko naranasang I-surprise. Kahit sa maliit na bagay, napaka laki at memorable para saakin.
Nag palakpakan sila nang mahipan ko ang kandila, sumeryoso naman ang muka ni manang. "Puwede bang malaman kung anong wish mo?"
Huminga ako nang malalim at nginitian siya, "I want someone who I can lean on when I'm feeling down or to just to give love and care as much as I can.. I want someone to love in every way possible.. I'm kind of hoping for someone who sees me for who I am and doesn't try to change me.."
Naramdaman ko ang kanyang mga braso na yumakap sa akin at nadama ko ang kaginhawahan sa simpleng paggalaw na ito. Bumulong ito saakin. "Nandito ako para sa iyo." Naramdaman ko ang mainit na damdamin ng pagkaawa at pagmamahal. Mahigpit niya akong niyakap at nadama ko ang isang daluyong ng kaluwagan na bumalot sa akin nang maunawaan kong hindi ako nag-iisa.
Matapos ang lahat. Nag pasya akong pumunta sa hardin, lagi naman ako andito para makapag isip-isip Umupo ako sa hardin upang magkaroon ng distansya mula sa lahat at upang mag-isip-isip. Ramdam ko ang labis na damdamin at nais ko lamang maging mag-isa upang maunawaan ang mga bagay.
Tumingala ako sa langit at ang kulay nitong bughaw ay nagdulot ng isang nakaluluhod na pakiramdam sa akin. Nanatili akong nakaupo doon ng ilang minuto na nakatitig sa langit at sinusubukang patahimikin ang aking isip at gumaan ang aking mga iniisip.
"Happy birthday" Rinig kong tinig na papalapitan sakin, pamilyar ito. Si caleb.
Napalakas ang tibok ng puso ko nang makita ko si Caleb, maganda siyang tingnan na sinasalamin ng sinag ng araw sa kanya at ang kanyang kulay-itim na may halong kayumanggi. Ang kanyang mga mata ay mag kahalong asul at berde. Lalo na ang pag ka kayumanggi na kumikislap habang tinitingnan ako.
Walang lumabas sa bibig ko kaya ang tanging magawa ko ay ngumiti sa kanya.
Caleb looked at me for a few moments, he has a soft, sweet smile on his face. He doesn't seem to want to say anything at this point, he just wants to enjoy this moment. I couldn't help but to feel butterflies in my stomach.
Caleb's smile was almost melting me. I don't know why, but I felt so comfortable with him, like I can just sit here and talk for hours with him. I could feel my stomach filled with butterflies and my heart was racing.
He looked so calm and peaceful, I think this is the first time I've ever seen him like this.
"Bakit?"
Nagpatlang sandali si Caleb at sinabi ko
"Gift for you, happy birthday"
Naramdaman ko ang isang mainit na sensasyon na dumaloy sa buong katawan ko habang patuloy akong nakatitig sa kanya na may malumanay na ngiti sa aking mukha.
This took me by surprise, I was not expecting anything from him
"Necklace?"
Caleb nodded his head and lifted my hair aside while he was tying it. I felt a rush all over my body and my heart began to flutter as he slowly placed a dainty gold necklace around my neck.
I was stunned by the simple gesture, the necklace was just perfect and it suited me well. Caleb even chose the right size for me and he didn’t seem to mind when I insisted on checking if it fits perfectly.
"Bakit may pa necklace?" Takang tanong ko
Caleb smiled at me with his soft and sweet smile. "You deserve something nice"
He paused for a moment before asking "Do you like it?"
"Okay lang" Tipid na sambit ko, ang akward kasi
"So you want to know why a necklace?" He asked.
Caleb chuckled softly "I had to think about what to give you, and when I thought about you, when I think of you, I always think of your neck"
There was a brief moment of silence before he said "your neck is beautiful..."
"Bakit? Bampira ka ba?"
Caleb laughed" I don't believe in vampires"
"I just find your neck to be the most beautiful part of you, it's like a work of art, the perfect length and shape, when you turn your neck sideways, it's even more beautiful " Dagdag pa nito. A moment passed before he said "Can I?"
Ini-echos ako nito, lakas mang silent treatment sakin. "Ang ano?"
Caleb paused for a moment before looking at me directly in my eyes and he continued "Can I touch?"
Ano ba hahawakan nito, kinakabahan tuloy ako. Baka ano nanaman hawakan eh. Namamaga pa nga petchay ko! "Ano anong ano?"
Caleb kept petting my neck and I think his touch is sending a thousand butterflies in my stomach.
He was staring deep into my eyes "You're so beautiful, I think it's because of you"
Binilisan niya ang paghaplos sa aking leeg at nadama ko ang kanyang mainit na hininga sa aking balat. Malalim ang kanyang paghinga, at ang mainit na pagsinga at paghinga niya ay malapit sa akin. Ito ay nagdulot ng isang napakalapit na pakiramdam.
Patuloy na hinaplos ni Caleb ang aking leeg, ang kanyang mga daliri ay dumadaloy sa aking balat, napakalambing at tamis, at habang patuloy niyang hinahaplos ako, lalo akong naglakas-loob na humiling sa kanyang pagdampi.
Naramdaman ko na ito ay tama at natural na maging kasama siya at ang pakiramdam ay kakaiba sa lahat ng aking naranasan noon. Halos naglalagablab ang aking katawan sa sensasyon ng kanyang haplos.
Baka nga mali si Jia. Baka puwede na?
Napansin ni Caleb na hindi ako umaatras o nag-aalinlangan sa kanyang haplos, marahil inaasahan niya na magiging hindi komportable ako ngunit hindi naman. Sa katunayan, tuwang-tuwa ako sa bawat sandaling kasama siya.
His eyes met mine and all I could do was to stare at him in amazement. I couldn't help but to lean in closer without realizing it and without noticing it, our faces were now inches apart and I felt that heat rush through my body, his breath on my skin was like hot fire.
Nahinto ang pag u-usap namin nang tumunog ang cellphone ko, it's Jia.
Sinagot ko ka agad ang phone ko, at humihikbi ito, hindi ko maiwasang kabahan.
"Jia, teka kumalma ka, ano? anong nangyari?
"Your dad nabaril siya calista!"
"What?" Namanhid ang buong katawan ko parang sini-mento ang buong kalamnan ko.
"What happened?" Takang tanong nito. "Gusto mong samahan kita?" Sambit nito dahil paikot-ikot ako.
Hindi ko siya pinansin sa katanungan niya, paikot-ikot lang at hindi alam ang gagawin.
Napansin niya ang pag hirap ko huminga. I tried to calm down, he was starting to worry about me dahil sa ramdam ko ang mga silip na titig nito, alam ko na gusto niya rin tanungin kung okay lang ako but he chose to stay silent and just stood there watching me
"Caleb?" Hikbi ko.
He wrapped his arms around me, pulling me close to his body as he softly rubbed my back. There was still an air of tension in my body, but at least now I were getting more composed. He could feel my trembling fading away. Nang mag message ulit si Jia kung saang ospital ay kaagad akong tumakbo papalabas.
"Taxi!!" Sigaw ko, agad akong sumakay nangangatog ang kamay ko, pati ang driver ay hindi maiwasan ang pag sulyap saakin, pilit ko kina-kalma ang sarili ko.
Nang makarating kami ay agad akong bumaba, at tinanong 'yung desk staff, "Miss, may na...Nabaril po" Hikbi ko, sinamahan ako nito sa emergency room, ngunit hanggang pintuan lang ako. Nakita ko sila Avery pati si Tita Liane.
"Ano nang yari?"
"Paano? paano siya nabaril?" Tanong ko muli.
"Paano?" Ang tanong ko ulit sa kanya.
"We are not sure," She answered. "There are reports that two gunmen riding a motorcycle shot him outside his office. We rushed him here and had him stabilized, but the injury is too severe."
"Walang kaaway ang daddy Avy! Tapos bakit hindi siya nag pa sabi na nakauwi na siya?"
Hinaplos ni Tita Liane ang buhok ko, "Gusto kasi niya na I-surprise ka but now..."
"I-Surprise ako?" Hikbi ko, "Pero ngayon ako ang na surprise niya"
Tito Liane looked solemn, her eyes were red from crying.
Tita Liane also looked worried. "Calsita, you know how much your father loved you..."
I stared at Tita Liane's face. I couldn't believe my father had been shot. I was in shock and couldn't process what was happening.
My mouth was dry and I struggled to speak.
"But why? He was always so careful. He never had any enemies...
"Siya nalang ang meron ako"
"I know," She said, "I know, now listen to me, I need you to be strong, can you do that for me?"
"Calista, makakasama sa'yo 'to, tànginà kasi ni Jia agad-agad sinabi. Kailangan mo mag pahinga makakasama sa baby mo" Sambit ni Avery
I nodded, even though I couldn’t imagine how I was supposed to be strong during such a difficult time. I was overwhelmed with all the emotions flooding through me and felt like I was going to crumble. I just wanted to break down and cry.
"Magiging okay si tito, now mag pahinga ka at, Calista. It's your birthday right?" Sabi ni Avery.
I blinked away my tears and tried to keep my composure.
"Paano ako mag se-celebrate nang birthday ko, kung ang nag iisang meron ako, lumalaban at nag a-agaw buhay?" My voice trailed off as the tears started flowing again.
Tita Liane held my hand firmly, his face filled with concern and remorse.
"Calista, the hospital is doing everything it can. They're doing their absolute best. Your father is strong, you know that. You know he's not going to let a couple of lowlife scum take him away from you."
"Don't worry Tita Liane, ako na po ang mag ha-hatid kay Calista." Sambit nito sabay hawak sa kamay ko. "Let's go?"
Umiling ako, at sinusubukang huwag umalis sa hospital. "Ayoko, gusto ko makitang gumising ang daddy ngayon"
Tita Liane hugged me, trying to comfort me as Avery led the way to the car. I was a wreck inside, feeling a mixture of different emotions. Fear for my father's safety, anger at the thought of him being taken away from me, and grief as the realization sank in that my life was now changed forever.
My mind raced with questions, but there was no time to ask anyone anything as I was rushed into the car and driven away from the hospital.
Tumititig ako sa labas ng bintana sa dumaraang tanawin, na pakiramdam ang pagkawala ng kahulugan sa loob habang iniisip ko ang nangyari. Hindi mapaniwalaan kung gaano kabilis ang buhay na maaaring magbago sa isang iglap. Dapat sana ay nagdiriwang ako ng aking kaarawan, ngunit narito ako, nakaharap sa ganitong napakalungkot na sitwasyon. Ang aking isip ay puno ng mga tanong at damdamin na hindi ko alam kung paano haharapin. Nagdarasal ako para sa kaligtasan ng aking daddy at para sa lakas na makayanan ang lahat ng ito.
"Caliee, stop crying na, makakasama sa baby mo"
"Sobrang sama ko ba kaya hindi ko deserve ang maging masaya?"
"No, stop it. Okay?"