Fifteen years ago
"What if I mess up, Wells? What if he finds me dirty and disgusting once we... you know."
Whether from nerves or anticipation, I was going to explode. Today I'm losing my virginity and I want to throw up. What if I didn't clean myself well enough? That would be the most embarrassing thing that could happen to me. Peter would never want me again if something went wrong because I didn't do enough research.
"What am I supposed to say here, Luke? I'm a virgin! I'm a virgin and you won't be after tonight. I hate you! Why are you so lucky?"
"Lucky?! I'm about to throw up, how is this lucky?"
Wells ignored me and kept playing on his cell phone. He'd worked all summer to get the Razr V3, or whatever, that everybody seemed to want, and he'd spent the past few hours searching for the right song to be his ringtone. From Country to Hip Hop I've lost count of all the reasons why "that one wasn't good enough" as he kept trying and trying searching for the right one.
I, however, had other things to worry about. Like the fact I was going to have a dick in my ass in less than three hours and I felt sick.
Peter and I have been dating for almost a year now. A very horny year. We've jerked off and sucked each other in every way possible, but fear had been holding me back from bringing up that I was ready for more. This past year has taught me things I never imagined about myself and that's how it was decided I was going to be on the receiving end tonight. Peter saw a video with a guy licking the other guy's asshole and when he tried it on me I almost came without touching my dick. I liked the sensation of what we now knew as 'rimming' and my dick throbbed a little waiting anxiously for it to happen again.
Wells and I took a summer job. Our parents weren't millionaires but they weren't lacking money either, they just wanted us to earn our own money and while Wells spent his summer money on a cell phone, I saved mine to get a fancy hotel room for Peter's and my first time. I'd somehow convinced my parents that we wanted to celebrate our birthday with a few friends and since we were good simple kids —my mom's words— they thought we deserved to have some fun and stay at a hotel for the weekend.
Peter and I share the same birthday and we've always celebrated together, so it was a given that we'd do something for our birthday, and that something was getting Mom and Dad to make the reservation in their name. They even brought me to the hotel to check in and left me here with Wells, who knew damn well not to get his hopes up about the room so he had made plans with a guy from the Soccer team. I'm pretty sure they like each other more than they can admit.
There was a knock on the door and I flinched. "Your grumpy smurf is here," Wells said and when I side-eyed him he laughed and got up. He opened the door to find an equally nervous Peter. Wells stepped aside to let my boyfriend in and on his way out he said, "See you later, boo. Love you bunches!" just to piss Peter off. Which he accomplished.
"I still don't know why you want him as a friend. You have me."
I laughed. It wasn't the first time Peter got all possessive when Wells was around. What he didn't know was that the more he complained, the more it inspired Wells to irritate him. His annoyance gave Wells a trill that would have been scary if I hadn't known they both participated in this long rivalry they held when it came to winning my love and friendship.
Peter walked a straight line to me and forgetting about Wells he grabbed my face between his hands and ate my mouth in one move. "Happy birthday, baby. I couldn't wait to see you." I struggled to say a muffled "Me too." I was so nervous I was afraid my heart would stop. I love him more than anything and anyone, and today I was going to show him once more that he's my everything.
"I'm scared, baby."
"I am, too," he said. "I'm afraid that I want you so much. I don't want to hurt you but I want to own you in every primal way possible, just like they say in those books you read."
Hundreds and hundreds of books. I've read them all yet none prepared me for the fear I was feeling right now. I wanted everything to be as amazing as those stories I read. "Peter I can't wait any longer. I need you, please."
"You beg so beautifully, love. I promise I will do everything in my power to give you everything you deserve." After that, no words were spoken–no coherent ones, at least. Between moans, we professed our love to each other. Peter took me to bed and made me feel like nothing else mattered at that moment. We were linked together like never before and I knew right there I would give Peter everything. I now understood love on a whole other level. It could be like in my books.No, this was better. This was real and I could touch it, and I was so lost I couldn't stop the tears falling to the sides and getting lost in my hair. "I got you, Luke. I'm here. You're mine now. Now and forever, baby."
"Until we're old?" I asked.
"Until we're old," he said.
Peter gave himself to me and took all I offered him. He made me his multiple times that night; each time being more intense, and us being more confident in what we were doing. Until we're old, we both promised. I couldn't wait for forever to come.