TRIGGER WARNING: Eating disorder recovery, eating struggles
After a few weeks, Madison was cleared to go home. The doctor's instructions were very clear - if she doesn't eat, she will need to return to the hospital. Despite being adamant to eat, Madison struggled to return back to her normal self. Madison sat at the table, her eyes darting between the plate of food in front of her and Taylor, who had taken the seat beside her, trying to mask the concern on her face. Travis took Olivia with him to football practice, allowing Taylor to have some mother-daughter time with Madison.
"Mom, I'm not sure I can do this," Madison whispered, her voice trembling. She pushed the food around her plate, avoiding eye contact. "Maybe I should start with something smaller."
Taylor reached out, covering Madison's hand with her own, offering a squeeze of reassurance. "Maddie, it's okay to be scared. But I know you're stronger than you think. Let's just take it one bite at a time."
Madison looked up, her eyes brimming with tears. "But what if I can't? What if I try and it just... it all goes wrong?" The fear of failing, of disappointing herself and her family, was written all over her face.
Taylor leaned in, her voice soft but firm. "Then we try again. Failure isn't the end, sweetheart. It's just part of the journey. I'm here with you, every step of the way. You're not alone in this."
Madison let out a shaky breath, looking down at the plate again. "I want to be better, mom. I hate that this is so hard. I hate feeling like I'm not in control of my own body."
"And you will be better," Taylor assured her, her voice thick with emotion. "This... it's a battle, yes. But it's one we're going to fight together. You have so much strength inside you, baby. More than you realize."
Madison attempted a small bite, her hand trembling as she brought the fork to her lips. After swallowing, she couldn't hold back the tears any longer. "I'm trying. I really am. But it feels like every bite is a reminder of how much I've lost, how much I've changed."
Taylor moved her chair closer, wrapping an arm around Madison's shoulders. "Every bite is also a step towards recovery, a step towards the life you deserve. Yes, you've changed, but not all change is bad, my love. You're learning, growing, and fighting. That's something to be proud of."
Madison leaned into her mother's embrace, allowing herself to feel the full extent of Taylor's support and love. "Thank you for not giving up on me," she sobbed, the words muffled against Taylor's shoulder.
"Never," Taylor whispered back, her own tears mingling with Madison's. "Never, Maddie. We're going to get through this together. You're my brave girl, and I love you more than anything. You have so much life ahead of you, so many dreams to fulfill. And I'll be damned if I let this disorder steal that from you.""
The meal wasn't finished, but it was a start, a small victory in the face of a daunting challenge. As the emotional weight of their conversation began to settle, Madison looked up at Taylor with a vulnerability that pierced straight to her heart. The question that followed was one Taylor had never anticipated, yet it held a power that stopped time for a moment.
"Mom, do you ever regret adopting me?" Madison's voice was barely a whisper.
Taylor felt as if the air had been knocked out of her. The very thought that Madison could believe she might be a source of regret was devastating. She took Madison's face in her hands, ensuring their eyes met, needing Madison to see the sincerity and love in her gaze.
"Never," Taylor said, her voice firm, unwavering. "Not for a second. You are my daughter, sweetheart. The moment you joined my family was the happiest of my life."
Madison's eyes searched Taylor's, looking for the truth in her words, the reassurance that she wasn't too much, that her struggles hadn't made her unworthy of this family's love.
"Even now? Even with all of this?" Madison gestured weakly around her/
"Even now. Especially now," Taylor affirmed, her voice thick with emotion. "Madison, being a parent isn't just about the easy times. It's about standing by your side through every challenge, every pain, and every triumph. Your struggles don't make you a burden; they make you human. And they certainly don't make me regret bringing you into our lives. If anything, they make me love you even more, if that's possible, because I see how strong you are, how brave you are to face this every day."
A tear slipped down Madison's cheek, a silent testament to the depth of her fear and the relief of hearing those words from her mother. "I'm sorry, Mom. I'm sorry for being so difficult."
Taylor pulled Madison into a gentle hug, a safe harbor in the storm. "You don't have to apologize for a single thing. We're going to get through this together, as a family. And remember, there's nothing you could ever do to make me regret you. You are my joy, and I thank the stars every night for you."
In that moment, a new layer of understanding and connection formed between Madison and Taylor. Madison's question, though heartbreaking, opened the door for an affirmation of unconditional love, a reminder that family isn't about blood or perfection but about choosing to love, support, and accept each other, no matter what.
"I often wonder what life would be like if you guys just had Olivia," Madison closed her eyes as she expressed the thoughts that have been forming inside her head for the past few years.
Taylor felt a pang in her heart at Madison's whispered confession, each word laced with vulnerability and a haunting sense of unworthiness. She tightened her embrace, a physical reassurance against the doubts swirling within Madison.
"Madison," Taylor began, her voice soft but filled with an intensity that demanded attention. "Life without you is unimaginable. You brought a light into our lives that we didn't even know was missing. Yes, we have Olivia, and she is a joy, but so are you. Our family, with both of you in it, is complete. It's perfect, even with its imperfections, its challenges."
She pulled back slightly, lifting Madison's chin. "Every laugh, every tear, every moment with you is precious. You've taught me so much about love, about resilience. Our family isn't just about the easy, happy times. It's about facing the hard times together, growing stronger through them."
Madison's eyes shimmered with tears, the depth of her mother's words slowly sinking in. "But it's been so hard, for all of us. I can't help but feel like I'm the cause of so much pain."
"Baby, listen to me," Taylor said, her tone underscored by a fierce determination. "Hard times would find us with or without you. That's just life. But facing them without you? That's not something I can even bear to think about. You are not the cause of our pain. You are the reason we fight, the reason we strive to be better, to create a loving, supportive home."
She brushed a tear away from Madison's cheek, her touch gentle. "The challenges we face don't define our family. It's the love we share, the support we give each other, that does. And you, my dear, are a vital part of that. Your strength, your fight, inspires us every day."
Madison clung to her mother, the walls she had built around her fears beginning to crumble under the weight of Taylor's unwavering love and support. "I love you, mom. I'm sorry for doubting you."
"I love you too, baby. More than words can say. And there's nothing to apologize for. We're in this together, always," Taylor whispered back, holding Madison close and promising she'll never let her go.
In the soft glow of the living room at the Swift home, Travis found Taylor, her silhouette outlined against the backdrop of the night through the window, her shoulders shaking with silent sobs. His face etched with deep concern, he approached her quietly, placing a gentle hand on her shoulder. "Taylor?" he murmured, his voice threaded with worry.
Taylor turned to face him, her expression a raw display of pain and vulnerability. "I'm sorry, I just... I needed a moment," she managed between sobs, her usual composure undone.
Travis enveloped her in his arms, offering a solid presence in her moment of fragility. "Talk to me, what's happening?" he urged gently, his worry intensifying as he felt the depth of her distress.
Drawing a deep, shuddering breath, Taylor sought refuge in his embrace, leaning into the safety he provided. "It's about Maddie... her struggle, it's bringing up so much for me. You know about my own past battles with eating," she confessed, the words tumbling out of her before she could stop them. "Watching her go through this... it's like I'm living my own nightmare again. I'm terrified, Trav. Terrified for her and terrified of falling back into my own old habits."
Travis's heart tightened at her words, a wave of sadness and empathy washing over him. "Oh, babe," he whispered, holding her closer. "I had no idea it was affecting you so deeply."
"I thought I could manage, that I was strong enough to support her without breaking myself. But every mealtime, every therapy session... it feels like navigating a minefield of my past," Taylor continued, her voice fracturing with the weight of her revelations.
Gently guiding her to sit, Travis knelt before her, ensuring their eyes were level. "Taylor, you're incredibly strong. But strength doesn't mean facing everything on your own. We're a team, remember? We'll support Madison together, and I'm here for you through it all. Let's find someone you can talk to as well, someone professional who can help you work through these triggers."
In Travis's gaze, Taylor found a lifeline amidst the storm of her emotions. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to add to our worries. I thought I could just power through it."
"No apologies necessary," Travis stated firmly, his hands clasping hers with comforting assurance. "We tackle things together, no matter what. It's okay to seek help, for both you and Mads We'll navigate this as a family. Your feelings are valid, and taking care of yourself is essential."
A small, grateful smile broke through Taylor's tears. "Thank you, Travis. What would I do without you?"
"You'll never have to find out," Travis responded, his smile conveying warmth and solidarity. "We'll take this one day at a time."
A sense of hope began to bloom within Taylor's heart. Over the years, they overcame so much together and she was positive they could overcome this, too. The road to Madison's recovery, much like the path of her own healing, was sure to be lined with obstacles, but in this moment, Taylor felt an unshakeable belief in their ability to overcome them. With her eyes firmly set on the future, she was ready to face anything, knowing her family was full of love, determination, and hope.
Author's note: I know this is a shitty way to end it haha sorry! Thank you for reading and loving these books <3 I'll take a little break, but I have an idea of doing an adults only one, after tortured poets drops, I want to write about the Joe and Travis timeline!
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