summary: even if you aren't together, chris and you know who you belong too.
warnings: kind of toxic relationship between reader and chris, abusive ex
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you hated parties. you hated anything that had to do with crowds and alcohol, so this was your worst nightmare.
why did you come in the first place then? well, your friend convinced you that you needed to stop sulking around about chris and get out there, meet some new people, specifically another guy.
but... you knew. you knew no one would ever make you feel how chris made you feel. you knew that wherever you ended up, you're always going to go be back into his arms.
in the back of your mind, you wondered what the hell you were doing. if you knew all of that, why were you here, searching for a guy to go upstairs with? the truth hits you like a ton of bricks, knocking the air out of your lungs and making your chest ache.
chris didn't do relationships, thats why. he told you that in the beginning, and made it very clear in your last argument. "i'll never be in a relationship. its just not for me, ma. i told you from the beginning."
the lump in your throat grew and your eyes burned. you looked around at the happy couples dancing around you and suddenly felt so alone. without chris by your side, hugging your waist and making sure you didn't drink too much, you felt numb.
"hey, where are you going?" you friend yells over the loud music, stopping her dancing with a random guy.
you shook your head, "out back." is all you responded with before pushing through the sweaty crowd. you made it to the glass sliding door that opened up onto the patio.
the cold air created goosebumps on your bare skin, but it felt nice. you stepped to the railing and looked up at the stars.
"hey."
you turned slightly and saw your ex. "hi." you said quietly, wishing for him to leave you alone. you wanted to be alone with your thoughts. you didn't want to fight or defend yourself right now, since thats all you did with him around.
he stood next to you. "i love that dress." he hummed, looking you up and down.
you ignored him. you knew what he really meant. "i love how your body looks in that dress." you feel uncomfortable and disgusted as his eyes stay on your form.
"please, jack, go away. i don't want to deal with you tonight." you muttered.
he raised an eyebrow and cocked his head at you. "is it because of that lowlife loser? what does he have that i don't?" he started.
you sighed and shook your head, eyes hardening at the mention of chris. even if chris broke your heart over and over again, you would defend him until you couldn't anymore. "he's not a lowlife loser, first of all. i think your projecting a little, don't you think?" you seethed, looking away from the stars and into jacks angry eyes.
you poked his chest harshly, "you don't have respect for women, he does. all you have is the ability to be abusive and selfish." you hissed out, pushing him back by his chest. all of your anger from chris and him combining into one. why did all the men in your life hurt you? why couldn't they have loved you and cherished you?
jack scowled and grabbed your wrist in a tight grip. "you think he respects women? really? doesn't he fuck you and then leave you to cry alone in your bed? how is that respect, y/n?" he jerked your wrist, making you wince.
you glared at him with glossy eyes. "he doesn't do that. he fucks me better than you ever did and then stays the night, unlike you. he doesn't hit me, unlike you. he doesn't control me, unlike you!"
jack lets go of your wrist and instead grabs your neck harshly, making you gasp and seal your lips shut. "you think he doesn't control your every thought and move? you're like a puppet, y/n! i can see it, you're like a bitch begging on your knees for him!"
"she does look pretty on her knees, though."
yours and jacks eyes shift to chris standing in the doorway before he nonchalantly walks out and closes it behind him, leaving the party behind.
jack lets go of your throat, making you rub it and cough slightly. your face is red as jack and chris stare at each other, not moving. you gulp and feel the shame and embarrassment flood through you. your abusive ex and your... you don't even know what to call chris at this point, are staring each other down.
you could feel the rage flowing off of chris, though his face stoic and unmoving unlike jack who just looks livid.
"u-uhm..." you try to speak up, but all your thoughts leave you as chris glances at you, eyes daring you to say something. you fold your lips and look down at your feet.
"what your doing to her isn't right." jack blurted out, pointing at chris and ignoring the comment about you on your knees. he didn't want to imagine you doing that with someone else.
chris' eyes narrow and his hands clench by his sides, knuckles whitening. "and what you did was? you jackass, you abused her mentally, physically, emotionally, everything in the fucking book! you shouldn't even be allowed to walk on the ground she walks on. you don't fucking deserve the air she breathes. so don't follow her like a creep and try to take her away from me. you think she'll leave me? no. shes fucking mine, she belongs to me."
the crickets and your loud heartbeat were the only think you could hear. your hands trembled and your stomach burned with heat, his words effecting you more than anything ever has. your anger is replaced by something else, a whirlwind of emotions and feelings.
jack stared at chris with his jaw clenched, knowing he was right. knowing how obsessed you were with chris and vice versa. knowing that you belonged to chris now, whether you liked it or not. it was a crazy kind of love, the kind where chris wont let any man touch you in the slightest unless they wanted a broken jaw. "i might've been abusive, but your downright psychotic." he shook his head.
"get the fuck out of here." chris scoffed, waving at him dismissively, anger dissipating. if jack knew how psychotic he was, he would leave and never look or talk to you again.
jack stared for a second, eyes locked with intimidating ones, before giving up and clicking his tongue. he pushed past chris and went back into the party.
chris turned to your shaking form and smiled slightly, placing his hands on your exposed biceps and rubbing. "are you cold? your shivering."
you shook your head. "no. just... shaken up a bit from that." you said quietly, not knowing what to think. but thats what chris was for, he could think for you and take care of you.
chris hummed before tilting your head up and searching your face. his eyes landed on your lips. "you know i meant every word, right? you belong to me."
you stare up at him before nodding. "i know." you whisper.
"you shouldn't be at this party looking for anyone other then me, y/n." he wasn't playful or joking, his tone was serious and dark. your heart was racing.
"i know." you repeated, gulping.
chris was silent as his thumb traced your bottom lip, eyes half lidded staring down at you. your breathing became deeper and you parted your lips hesitantly, looking at him through your lashes.
his thumb slightly shifted into your mouth to press onto your tongue before he couldn't take it another. "fuck." his lips replaced his thumb as he held the back of your head, keeping you in place even if you wouldn't have moved back. he groaned as you grabbed his hair, tugging slightly to pull him closer to you and deepen the sloppy, lustful kiss.
this is how it always went. you get into an argument about your relationship, he sees you trying to move on, he gets possessive, and you kiss and make up because you can't help it. you can't help the feeling of safety and love you feel in his presence. he takes care of you, maybe a little too much, but you love it. he loves it too, and you both can't stop crawling back to each other.
"you'll come home with me?" he mutters against your parted lips, panting slightly.
your eyes flutter open to stare into his own, your logical side is telling you no, he will just break your heart again by reminding you he doesn't do relationships....
but...
"yeah, i will."
1509 words (unedited/not proof read)
i think i like this one