Troubled by alcohol, Tang Jin fell asleep after going upstairs. He didn't have the slightest idea that Xu Bai Chuan sat on the sofa downstairs for the entire night.
Xu Bai Chuan was a boy that pursues a sense of ritual in life.
He was waiting, waiting for Tang Jin to appear beside the stairs and impatiently shout at him to go to sleep. Since he knew that this wouldn't happen no longer how long he waited, he persisted in waiting even more. Nothing was more well suited than a shunning Tang Jin who had treated him with harshness, contempt and loathing in the past for their farewell ceremony. A ceremony that would end the seven-year foolish infatuation of one man.
At 8 o'clock in the morning, he stood and stretched his body before entering the kitchen to prepare Tang Jin's breakfast.
Xu Bai Chuan's cooking skills are excellent. When he first got together with Tang Jin, in order to "first grasp the man's stomach" ¹, he honed his skills in high spirits. Afterward he spent the next seven years to personally confirm something: sometimes the deciding factor of whether a dish is delicious or not has no relation to the taste of the dish itself, but rather the person making it. For instance, the exotic delicacies that he used his utmost efforts to make would be no match for a dish of boiled vegetables that Song Yi Yu had cooked.
[T/N: 1 The way to a man's heart is through his stomach]
Once he prepared breakfast, Xu Bai Chuan became busy in the large villa. After he arranged everything properly and circled the area upstairs, he ended up only bringing a laptop with him. Xu Bai Chuan exited the house no differently than he had in the past seven years, even greeting the middle aged man who frequently jogged past the area. Afterward he hailed a taxi which headed straight for the airport.
When waiting for his flight, his mobile phone rang. The caller was the 'friend' who had posted the photo of Tang Jin and Song Yi Yu yesterday, Cheng Xu.
His 'friends' were more or less related to Tang Jin. After all, every one of his interpersonal relationships were purposefully established to revolve around Tang Jin.
This is also a matter that can't be helped.
Xu Bai Chuan is not a native. Back then, he had came out of the closet to his stepfather and mother just for Tang Jin. His own mother felt that he had entirely lost face and told him to get lost to a distant place. He followed Tang Jin and was forced to stand on his own feet in these unfamiliar surroundings. He was a player with a warm outer appearance whilst remaining cold within, always wearing somewhat of a smile when meeting others. No matter who it was, Xu Bai Chuan's popularity had always been alright, but regardless of whoever he interacts with, when a boundary is reached, the relationship would stop and not progress any further. As such, he was incapable of establishing more intimate relationships.
In the past, he exerted a lot of effort in order to win the favour of Tang Jin's friends. There was a time when he entertained them at home by personally cooking a large table of dishes. Everyone gave him face as each and every person he invited were present. However, it seemed like they had consulted about this event in advance. Everyone had dressed to the nines and were wearing makeup. With a single look it appeared to be a beautiful scenery of women and men. In reality, the guests that were invited didn't even pick up their chopsticks and were full from just drinking wine. Once Cheng Xu was also present, he was all smiles as he pointed at the pampered male beside him and asked Xu Bai Chuan, "Can you bring him a glass of water?"
Tang Jin acted as if he hadn't heard their conversation and continued talking to his friend. In regards to this public provocation and attempt to humiliate him, Xu Bai Chuan returned an impenetrable smile, "Of course."
The moment when everyone had left, he smashed all the dishes on the table in Tang Jin's presence. Afterward, when facing Tang Jin's bewildered expression, he dusted his hands and went to sleep. It should be this matter that reached Cheng Xu and the others' ears which made them change their apparent aggression to beating around the bush. They deliberately uploaded a photo on Weibo that expressed their dislike towards him.
Xu Bai Chuan picked up the phone. Without waiting for a reply, Cheng Xu already blurted out, "Has Tang Jin woken up yet?"
Xu Bai Chuan looked at the time on his screen before placing the phone beside his ear again. "It's only 9:30am. He shouldn't have."
Cheng Xu sharply grasped onto the word "shouldn't" and asked, "You're not together with him?"
A female voice prompted passengers to board the plane in the airport lounge. Xu Bai Chuan had no intention of keeping anyone in the dark. He answered as he headed over, "En, I'm going on a trip. When I left, Tang Jin had yet to wake up. Can you tell him for me that when I'm in the mountains, there will be bad reception so I can't answer his calls?"
Cheng Xu felt that this situation was unimaginable. "You're going alone?"
Xu Bai Chuan chuckled. "What time does Tang Jin have to accompany me?"
After a moment of silence, Cheng Xu asked again, "For how long?"
Xu Bai Chuan pondered. "Around a month?"
He waited for a while before hearing a sound that resembled ridiculing laughter. After Cheng Xu said "I see", he ended the call.
The meaning behind that ridiculing laughter couldn't have been more obvious. Seven years ago he had already become a joke amongst children of officials and entrepreneurs in this city. In the eyes of others, he was a person with no sense of shame that keeps on bothering Tang Jin, an unmoving low person harbouring unfathomable motives. Can he be rest assured leaving Tang Jin alone to go on a trip by himself? Don't make me laugh.
Even Xu Bai Chuan had no choice but to admit it, he really isn't at ease.
In regards to himself, he is certain that he is unwilling to part from Tang Jin and throw away the feelings he possessed over all these years. They couldn't just vanish in a single evening. It's only that he had already used all these years to confirm his mistakes, that even if he wasn't willing, he couldn't just continue playing deaf and mute.
He had anticipated this day when Tang Jin and Song Yi Yu would be in touch again. By withdrawing himself from the situation he could retain his dignity when leaving and still recall their moments fondly. If there was a day that Tang Jin brought Song Yi Yu home, he reckons that he would just fall apart.
Seven years ago he had forced himself to let go his sense of shame and used despicable means to bind himself to Tang Jin. Seven years later he had once again forced himself to let go of his feelings and separate from Tang Jin. Xu Bai Chuan sneered. Oh... The person who wants this is you. The person who doesn't want this is also you. If he were to be put in a periodical drama set in a palace, he would have been an evil young girl who wouldn't have lasted longer than a couple episodes. Either the Empress or her maids would have killed him off sooner or later.
Now, he had wanted to hang himself from the tree called Tang Jin, but this tree doesn't allow him to, since a canary ² wants to rest on it. Without any choice, he could only dejectedly loosen the rope. But where could he piss off to?
[T/N: 2 Song Yi Yu]
His eyes heated up and hot tears rushed forth. Xu Bai Chuan lowered his head and went towards the blue warning lights leading towards the entrance. While walking, his teary eyes suddenly turned into ones of disdain towards Cheng Xu: 'Going on what fucking trip? Laozi, ³ am going to embrace the New World!
[T/N: 3 Term to say 'I' arrogantly]
Before boarding the plane, he posted on Weibo: flash/doghead/doghead
He rarely ever complained and would only jest within his circle of Weibo friends. It was as if he would never feel sadness or suffering and always remain optimistic.
Because coquettish complaints would only be suited for little angels like Song Yi Yu. For bad people like him who do post these things, he would be regarded as faking coyness and mimicking others to only make a fool of himself.
Also...to expose his wounds and receive consolations from others, it really is too cheap.
Xu Bai Chuan was an expert at putting himself in embarrassing situations. He could turn around and walk back, but it's best if he didn't and just let it all go.