The Host Club members were decked out in fancy outfits once again. Saiki included. Unfortunately. But then again, I won't stick out for not wearing one. Saiki was sitting with his guests in a lavender kimono. He held his coffee cup up to his lips, carefully blowing on it. 'Saiki looks so handsome in that kimono!' He ignored the thought and continued to blow on it before taking a small sip. Hot! He makes a face at the heat, sticking his tongue out. 'So cute!'
"Saiki! Is it possible that you have a cat tongue?" A girl questioned. Saiki blinked. Cat tongue?
"I think he does, how cute!" Another girl answered.
"Aww~" They cooed. He sweat dropped. It was just hot coffee, anyone would've reacted the same way... Saiki noticed the other hosts. Setting down his coffee, he stood up and walked over to the hosts, overhearing their thoughts.
'Looks like tears are popular with the ladies today.' What does she mean? He stood next to Haruhi, nodding at her. 'Oh, Saiki!' She smiles at the pink haired boy.
"I don't know how these guys cry so easily." She stated, staring at a sniffling Honey. What happened to him...
"There are many things about this place that I will never understand." Saiki sighed to himself.
"Yeah, you're totally right-" Haruhi walks forward, accidentally bumping into Kaoru. They watched a bottle of eyedrops fall onto the floor. The brunette picked up the bottle. "What's this?" She asked begrudgingly. The twins stand behind her.
"For your information it's common for a host to use eyedrops." Kaoru smirked. It is...?
"No woman alive could resist the man on the brink of tears!" Hikaru added. I'm sure they would be able to.
"That's cheating." Haruhi said.
"Oh, don't be such a party pooper. Here!" Hikaru hands her a pink dessert encased in a plastic covering. Oh, jealous. Saiki quietly pouts to himself. He quits his childish act when he hears Tamaki's annoying voice. He's got tears in his eyes too.
"Such a wonderful devotion to your mother's memory! Please Haruhi, have as many as you want." Tamaki stacks more of the tiny desserts onto Haruhi's hands. Please, save me some. Saiki silently prayed.
"Let me guess, the tears are fake." The brunette stated, already over all the tears being shed.
"How could you? Being able to cry without the use of teardrops is the mark of a true host-" The psychic stopped listening, eyeing the small desserts. He tugged at Kyoya's sleeve, grabbing his attention.
"Can I have one?" Saiki asked, pointing at the dessert. Kyoya smiled down at him.
"Of course, take as many as you'd like." He put a hand on the psychic's head before going back to writing on his clipboard. Saiki was admiring his dessert before he heard an unfamiliar voice in his head. '...Host Club... This is the Host Club? Horrible... This is so-' The psychic made eye contact with the girl, causing the other hosts to notice her as well. The dark-blonde girl hid behind an arch.
"Looks like the Host Club has a new guest." The twins stated, taking this as their que to try and woo the girl. Poor girl. Saiki thought as he popped the pink sweet into his mouth. Delicious...! Saiki quickly snatched a few more. He wasn't really listening, only focused on the sweet taste of the dessert, so he was slightly surprised when he heard the woman yell and slap Tamaki.
"No! Don't touch me! You're phony!" Tamaki stumbles backwards in shock. 'Phony?!'
"What do you mean... I'm phony?!" He cried, covering his face with his hands.
"I refuse to believe someone like you is the prince of this Host Club!" She pointed, continuing to yell. She's so loud, please stop. Saiki stared at the floor as the girl yelled insults at Tamaki. Surely he decomposed by now. Saiki felt slight pity for the blonde. There, there, Tamaki.
"I don't suppose you are..." Kyoya put a hand on his chin in thought. The dark-blonde gasped.
"It's you... Kyoya!" The girl ran to hug Kyoya, stepping on Tamaki's lifeless body in the process. Ouch, that's rough.
~~~
"My name is Renge Houshakuji and I am transferring to Ouran Academy's first year class A tomorrow." She smiled. Oh, great. So, she's going to be in our class. Not ideal, her voice levels are enough to make my ears ring for the rest of the day. Not to mention she has an obsession with anime and cosplay. This is her reason for even coming here, as Kyoya resembles a character she so deeply fell in love with. Please go cause trouble somewhere else. My days have been slightly peaceful recently, but I sense a feeling that I should feel threatened by this girl. Tamaki yells, pulling Saiki out of his thoughts.
"Otaku!" Tamaki pointed.
"Otaku?!" Hikaru blinked in confusion.
"I've never seen one!" Kaoru cried.
Saiki blinked, not shocked at all. Her thoughts are all, 'Kyoya's so handsome! My prince! My love!' so she's completely convinced that she loves him... But she doesn't even know him. Saiki sighed.
"Oh wow, Kyoya is the director of this club? I've made up my mind! I'm going to be the manager of the Host Club!" Renge stated. 'She's not listening...'
******
It was the next day at Ouran Academy. Everything was normal. Well, at least I hoped it was. But then again, it's never normal in this school, or the Host Club, especially with this new manager. She decided to change all of our host type's to give us a dark side. I wasn't really paying attention when she told me mine. It was along the lines of the 'shut-out kuudere who refuses to let anyone in his heart.' Good grief, I can't tell which is worse. Saiki sat down with a cup of coffee, ignoring the weird conversation the twins and Tamaki were immersing themselves in. Something about charming girls using their height advantages. Either way, Saiki didn't care. ...I should really start listening more. Saiki lifted his head when Honey joined him on the couch, Takashi following right behind.
"Ku-chan!! I don't like this new character stuff!" He cried as he held onto Kusuo's arm.
"Careful, I have coffee... But I'm not fond of it either." He sighs as he puts the coffee down on the table.
"I don't wanna do it anymore~! What about you, Takashi...?" Honey questions, wiping a tear from his eye.
"I don't understand, but I'll do it." The tall man states. Honey pouted as Takashi stroked his blonde hair.
"I don't wanna act mean! That's not me at all!"
"Yeah, do you like anything about it, Kusuo?" Takashi questioned. No. It's not necessary... putting up an act. Saiki thinks for a moment. People should just be themselves.
"Well, I like people who stay true to themselves." Kusuo shakes his head before looking at his tall friend.
"Hm." Was all he said. 'That's sweet.' The three turned their heads when they see the twins approaching.
"No boss, you've got it all wrong." The twins state in unison. "Here, use Saiki for example." Kaoru takes Saiki by the arm, pulling him to the other two. Huh? No. Don't drag me into this.
"Why me?" Saiki asked before he was pushed in front of Tamaki.
"Easy! Because you're short!" The twins stated a little too happily for the psychic's liking. He crossed his arms.
"Not really, I'm only the third shortest in the club. Not first, so technically I'm not short." Saiki states.
"Pft..." The psychic narrowed his eyes. Who just laughed?
"Well, you're forgetting the big difference in our heights, Saiki." The twins say in unison, throwing their arms around the psychic's shoulder while looking down at him with a devilish smile. Who the hell do they think their looking down on? The twins shiver at his glare. He quickly turns his head and crosses his arms.
"Shut up." Saiki deadpanned. 'Saiki's so cute...'
"Now, Tamaki. Why don't you demonstrate for us?" Hikaru smirks. How about you don't. The blonde takes a second before cupping Saiki's chin. '...That's not correct...'
"Your eyes are the most mesmerizing thing in the world. It brings out such-"
"No, no, no! You've got it all wrong!" Renge shouts at the top of her lungs, alerting the other members. Thank you, Renge. Any more of that sweet talk and I would've punched him. "You have to push him up against a wall, feel him up!" Huh? "He's not going to feel anything just by you staring him down and sweet talking him, you have to feel him one on one as you whisper your deepest desires into his ear!" Huh... No, wait. Tamaki stares at her for a second before nodding, indicating that he certainly agrees and understands. 'I see! So, Saiki.' Saiki sweat dropped as the blond takes his hand and holds it against his cheek, as much as the psychic resisted. He leans down, pulling the pink haired boy closer. He sparkled as he spoke.
"...Tell me, my love. How can I fulfill your undying desires-"
Thwack!
"Oh god! Boss! Are you okay?!" The twins rush to crouch down next to the half conscious life form, poking to see if it still had a heartbeat. Oops. See, I accidentally hit him and sent him tumbling across the room. Renge gasps dramatically. What? Why did she just gasp like she discovered something historical? 'Oh my god!'
"You..." She points at Saiki. "You are the protagonist of this harem!" She exclaims, jumping happily. What... Oh no.
It's bad enough because she's...
...a fujoshi.
Good grief, it's in the name.
~~~
Since she's a fujoshi, it means she'll thrive off of what these idiots always drag me into... Now she's the manager. And now I'm laying down on the grass, Takashi is approaching. Stupid Kyoya, going along with her plans just because it's 'interesting.' Saiki observed the blue sky, counting the clouds. Seven. They're pretty scattered. He sat up when Mori spoke to him.
"Kusuo, I won't give up." Saiki furrowed his brows.
"Why? Why do you try so hard for me? I don't like you!" Saiki deadpanned before standing up and facing the taller man. "When I lost my parents... I lost everything." Saiki stared at the floor, hands slightly trembling.
"I like you." This made the psychic look up in shock. Mori stood straight-faced. They stared into each other's eyes for a long moment. Saiki felt a tear in his eye. Blinking, he held a hand up to his eye.
"...Sorry." He whispered. Mori stared at him, eyes slightly wide.
"You okay?" Saiki nodded, blinking his tears away. Mori had to resist the urge to pat the psychic's head.
"Yeah, my contact slipped." He looked at his dark haired friend, eyes perfectly fine. "It's fine now." Mori sweat dropped. 'Ah. That's good then.'
"Cut!" Renge shouts. Again with the shouting... "Why did you say that? That take was going perfect!"
"It bothered me..." And I was cringing inside. The coffee jelly that was promised instantly makes it worth it, but it's still difficult to do without dying a little inside. The manager fumes.
"He was supposed to kiss you right there!" Saiki blinked. Huh? No. No kissing. Nobody said anything about a kiss. Absolutely no. No way. He crossed his arms.
"I'm not kissing anybody."
"You have to!"
"I don't." He stated simply.
"What will it take for you to kiss?! He doesn't seem too upset about it!" Takashi shakes his head. It would take a whole mountain of coffee jelly. That would be my first kiss too, so it's a no anyway. Saiki stood silent as he saw the twins share a look.
"Ohh," They mused. "Saiki... Have you never kissed anyone?" They smirked evilly. How did they... Saiki didn't react. He refused to react. He was not going to give them the reaction they wanted. 'So it must be then, huh?'
"Oh, so you think that's why?" Renge questioned the twins. The psychic shook his head.
"I did." Hikaru and Kaoru grinned, leaning towards the psychic.
"Really? With who?"
"Okay, that's none of your business."
"So you'll be okay going on with the kiss then?" Renge asked with a hopeful look.
"No! I'm not kissing anyone." He quickly shut her down. Please, save me.
"Hmm... Then I guess we can make an adjustment...!" She snapped her fingers. Good grief, do what you want. He turns back to the dark haired male.
"Sorry, Takashi. I didn't mean to ruin the shot." Mori puts a hand on Saiki's pink hair, smiling slightly.
"I don't mind." Saiki gave a tiny smile in return. The manager quickly returned.
"Okay! I've got it right here!" The two turn their heads to see two students. 'Uhh, why are we here again?' "Alright! Mori! Get out the shot!" Mori nods and steps out of view. "Saiki! Go back to your first position!" Saiki sighs before laying down on the ground. He stares blankly, waiting for the shot to begin.
"-do it, got that?" He hears Renge whispering. 'No, seriously. What does she want us to do?'
"Uh, hey. What are you doing here." One of the students say, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. 'That explanation made zero sense.' Saiki sits up.
"None of your business." He says coldly. I'm guessing I'm still in character since the cameras are still running.
"Yes! That's good! Now threaten to hurt him!" The manager exclaims. 'What is this lady talking about?' I'm just as confused as you are.
"Uhh, no. We don't hit people." The male shrugged, his friend nodding in agreement.
"But you're delinquents! And Mori is supposed to save Saiki! Then, they share a kiss!" She clasped her hands together, swooning at the thought. Okay, this is getting out of hand.
"Hey! I'm not a delinquent!" The male shouted, slightly agitated. Saiki stood up. He put a hand on the defensive male's shoulder, causing him to react. He quickly pushed the psychic to the floor. Oh wow. Mori stepped into the scene, pushing the student away before crouching beside Saiki. He sent the smaller boy a concerned look. 'Are you okay? He seems to be fine, no visible injury.' Saiki nodded, staring into Mori's alluring dark grey eyes. It was only a push...
"Perfect! That was perfect! Now kiss!" The psychic internally rolled his eyes. She's overdoing it. I'm so over this. Renge watched expectantly, frowning when Saiki sat up. She then heard glass shattering, turning to see that Kyoya had smashed the camera. 'Ahh! My camera!'
"I do apologize, but there can be absolutely no footage of a club member engaging in any kind of violence." He smiled. "You've caused enough trouble for us, Renge. Please stop being such a pest."
"W-What...? But... Kyoya!" She fell to her knees. Saiki stared blankly at the heartbroken girl. Don't make people out to be something they're not.
******
"I bought that film you guys made!" A guest smiled.
"Me too!"
"I did as well!" The hosts were slightly surprised to hear that.
"You did?" Tamaki questioned.
"I loved the lonely prince!" The guest cooed sweetly.
"The love story between Mori and Saiki was really touching! It was so amazing...!" A girl blushed. 'I'd love to see some real life action!' Saiki almost frowned at her thought, but the coffee jelly he was currently chowing down on was too delicious.
"Kyoya?" Tamaki called.
"I may have broken the lens but the original footage wasn't damaged. I of course deleted the scene where the violence occured." He smiled, writing in his clipboard. Ah, so that's what happened. "Sales seem to be good so far, the Hollywood film crew did an amazing job." Kyoya stated, pushing up his glasses. Whatever you say Kyoya. Saiki happily took another bite of coffee jelly. As long as she doesn't cause any trouble, I suppose she can't be too bad.