✧𝙽𝚘𝚊𝚑✧
I keep secrets. A lot of them. I have to. A lot of them have never seen the light of day and will never see it. I keep them from everyone. When I say everyone, I really mean everyone.
Which is why my parents have no idea I've been on a few dates with my son's mom. Exactly what they didn't want. Unlike my grandparents, they don't care as much about my son having been born and continuously raised out of wedlock. They care that he was born away from me in the first place. And they don't like Kiara for that reason alone.
It almost feels like everyone around us is actively rooting against us. It's not a great feeling, let me tell you.
My mom hasn't stopped insisting on family get-togethers. She tries this weekend, but I'm quick to tell her my new puppy means I basically can go nowhere other than work and sometimes to Kiara's place. They been coming to mine lately.
She then decides we're having dinner at hers still. I'm just bringing the dog. I try telling her the little fucker isn't ready to be around people yet, but she says he can stay outside. I tell her I don't want him outside like that, and she tells me my apartment is too small for an energetic puppy, and he needs time to be outside anyway. She says that's why he's ruining my carpets.
I tried arguing, but just as I was telling her he was perfectly fine, he started chewing the carpet.
Yeah. Chewing. As in putting the tiny strands of whatever the carpet is made of in between his tiny front teeth and tugging with all his might.
Yeah, okay. Fine. He needs to go outside and be out there for a while. And I need the number of Alex's dog trainer. So, by the end of that call, I end up agreeing to have yet another family dinner. Pretty surprisingly, she reminds me to bring Kiara and Cameron.
She doesn't just say Cameron. Cameron and Kiara. Both of them.
I make no promises before I get off the phone. By the time I'm on the phone with Kiara though, I realize we're all going. She says she wants to see Aaliyah and says she wants to offer herself as a babysitting service for them again. She hasn't reminded them she's ready for babysitting yet.
Kiara also seems to think this is a peace offering. Once I tell her my mom has directly invited them both, she gets excited. For whatever reason, she says she'd like to be on better terms with my mom. I still don't understand why, but when do I really understand her?
Never. Which is why I still don't know what I'm supposed to call her. She's more than a friend, more than my son's mom, but I don't know if she's my girlfriend. I think I'm supposed to ask her.
I'm probably supposed to ask her.
But that's scary. I mean, what if she says no? My ego took a number of hits already after she said no repeatedly when I asked her out.
"Noah, sweetheart, I need you to move those boxes for me while you're here please. I'm going to end up doing it myself if you don't."
She calls me things. Sweetheart, for one. And Darling. Once, she called me babe. Super quick though—didn't even catch it until after the fact.
"Yes, ma'am." I call back to her, already on my way to grab the few boxes she slid out of her closet and into the living room. I'm supposed to take them down to the storage unit in the basement. All the way below all of these apartments.
I bet it's creepy as hell. I mean, it's a basement of an old apartment building. And I don't really want her down there all by herself with heavy ass boxes. So, before we go to dinner at my parents' place, I gotta get these boxes down there before she decides she wants it done and now and will do it herself.
"Can I come? Can I come?" I'm not even surprised when my son excitedly runs over to me while I'm picking up a stack of two boxes. He nearly falls over, already with his shoes on.
"I'm not going anywhere yet, Nut. But sure." I sigh and start making my way to the door. He runs ahead of me to throw the door open for us. I pause before following him out. "Cam's with me." I assure Kiara. She's in the bathroom getting ready.
"Got it!" She responds. Knowing her, if and when she comes out of the bathroom, she'll see our son isn't where he was before and freak out. I spare her the trauma of finding him missing.
Instead, she gets to have the trauma of watching helplessly as our son's dog puts his first puddle in her carpet. Because he likes to do that.
"No!" Kiara squeals just as I manage to shut the door behind me with no hands like a true pro.
Such a shame. That carpet is nice. Real soft.
__________
My son doesn't know how to keep secrets like his super awesome dad can. I've known this, and for some reason, I forget to think about it before we get there.
He doesn't even last long. We make it through the door and he sees all the different people in the living room, and he loses it. I hardly have time to even put the little fucker of a dog outside in the backyard before he blows.
I think it's because of the PDA in front of him. When we walk into the living room, Alex is pulling back from having kissed Aaliyah on the temple on the couch. A habit of his. I barely even register it, too busy trying to get a hold of the mutt at my feet who eagerly bounces about, ready to say hi to all the people in the living room.
Cameron strolls right into the room and stands beside Elaina who sits and stares wide eyed at the puppy. He smiles widely at Aaliyah and Alex on the couch. "Uncle Alex," He goes ahead and climbs up on the couch beside Alex.
Alex hums in response. "Hi." He greets, expecting that to be what Cameron wants to say.
"Hi." Cameron returns dismissively. "My mom and dad kiss too." He informs, like that's what Alex needs to hear. "A lot."
Aaliyah makes a face. "Ew."
Alex makes a similar face. "Yeah, that's disgusting."
He nods quickly in agreement while I awkwardly shift under my dad's narrow eyed gaze. "Really gross." Cameron confirms. "But they do." He insists. Almost sounds like he's assuring them. Like they're worried about what we do in our own homes.
Kiara sighs. "Cam," She tries to get him to stop too late. I mean, he's already said and done it.
"Like everyone else's mom's and dad's." Cameron continues as if he didn't hear Kiara.
"Cameron, they don't need to know that, sweetie."
"Why not?" Cameron huffs and looks over at us. He looks down at Elaina. "My mom and dad kiss like yours do." He informs, practically bragging.
Elaina frowns. "Ew." She decides. I chuckle and walk over to scoop her up in my arms. She starts giggling while I flip her around, keeping the leash loosely in my hand.
"Cam, why don't you take the dog outside before he has to go to the bathroom." Kiara suggests with a little smile.
Dad nods and starts standing up. "I'll show you the way." He decides with a smile.
"David, my mom and dad kiss." Cameron informs as he jumps off the couch. He comes over to me to grab the little fucker's leash.
"Really now?" Dad glances at me as Cameron comes skipping on over to him. I ignore his gaze and grin at my niece when she curls to try and look at me.
Whatever. My mom's gonna find out anyway at some point. They've met the new baby already, nothings going on today, so why not have this blow up today? I mean, it kinda sucks since it seemed like they were about to give Kiara a chance, but whatever. It's time, right?
Kiara smiles nervously at Aaliyah and Alex while Dad and Cameron head down the hall. "Sorry." She mutters. "He's been...excited."
"Disgusting." Alex decides on a hum as he reaches over for a plastic cup sat on the coffee table.
"Mm." Aaliyah agrees with playfully narrowed eyes. She didn't mind, surprisingly. I think it helps that absolutely nothing in her friendship with Kiara has changed.
Kiara clears her throat quietly. I glance at her, watching as she shifts on her feet.
I sigh. "Hey, give her the baby for a sec."
Kiara quickly looks up at me. "What?"
Aaliyah grins widely and starts getting up off the couch. "Wanna hold him?" She asks, cradling the baby—Jacob. They're now back to Jacob—carefully in her arms.
Kiara straightens. She quickly nods. "I'm sorry—It's been such a long time since I've held a baby." She giggles as Aaliyah comes over. Aaliyah laughs to as she slides him into Kiara's arms. "Oh, I keep forgetting how tiny you are." She whispers once he's in her arms.
Aaliyah shakes her head. "Oh, God. He's getting bigger though. Already."
"Yeah, they get too big too fast." Kiara agrees, eyes still stuck on Jacob. "So, you guys are totally stuck on Jacob? Like, it's real?" She asks in amusement.
Aaliyah steps away to sit back down beside Alex. "I think so." She hums confidently, leaning back on Alex. He wraps his arm around her shoulders. "I don't know. It was hard to decide. He's our last so..."
"Well." Alex shrugs as if they're still deciding. Aaliyah ignores him.
"Anyway," I'm quick to cut in. "I'm glad you finally settled. This poor kid has been waiting his entire life for it."
"Dinner!"
Alex sighs as he starts getting up. "You haven't named a kid yet. Once you do, you're free to give us shit." He dismisses absently as he offers his hand to Aaliyah to help her up.
I clear my throat at that. As depressing as it is, it's fair. I have no idea how hard it is to name a kid.
Alex blinks a couple of times when he notices the sad look Aaliyah gives him. He quickly realizes what he just said, and awkwardly looks over at me. "Sorry." He blurts.
I smile and shake my head. "You're good." We give each other shit all the time. I've gotten pretty used to the slight sting that comes with every attack.
Alex frowns but not because he feels bad. He frowns because he knows I'll get him back later. Later as in when his wife isn't around to save him from the emotional damage.
Dad and Cameron join us in the dining room, even making it before us. He quickly decides he wants to sit with his cousin, so that leaves Kiara in a bit of an awkward seat beside me at the table after giving Alex the baby back. They had to add a couple more chairs, and one of them has been put beside my usual spot at the end. The other is a less awkward spot, one at a normal side of the table.
Cameron beams at my mom as soon as she's sat down with everyone else after we've all gotten our plates. "Angela," He calls excitedly before she can even say her usual phrase about how nice this is.
Mom smiles sweetly at him. "Grandma."
"No, I'm not ready yet." Cameron bluntly decides, still grinning. I chuckle. Kiara kicks me under the table.
"Oh." Mom mumbles, cocking her head back like she doesn't quite understand but is too shocked to comment.
"Angela, my mom and dad kiss." Cameron just has to tell her too.
She blinks at that. I look down quickly at my plate the moment her iced out gaze slides over to us. Kiara, luckily, has the sense to follow my lead and does the same. "Is that so?" Her voice is smooth but cold.
Cameron doesn't catch on to the ice queen's anger. "Yeah." He hums happily. "They're boyfrien' and girlfrien'."
"Well," Kiara chimes in. "We're—I mean. We're not—" She glances at me for help, but I let her struggle for the enjoyment of seeing her try to label us. "We're seeing each other. We're not.."
"Yeah, you can see." Cameron confirms like he knows what he's saying. Dating is much simpler in his world. You're either boyfriend—Excuse me—boyfrien' and girlfrien', or you're not. Simple as that. There's no simple talking or just going out and seeing where this will go.
"But she's still my friend." Aaliyah smugly chimes in. She falters though and looks at Kiara. "Right?"
"Oh, yeah. Definitely still friends." Kiara's quick to answer. "Friends that babysit for each other." She's also quick to slip that in, grinning at Jacob sat with Alex now and then across the table at Elaina. She's just excited to have little ones around again.
Aaliyah's eyes light up. "Really?" She asks hopefully.
"Please."
"My mom and dad love each other."
"Woah," I laugh as I look at Cameron who is way too excited about this. I thought it was what he wanted from the beginning, but he never really confirmed it. "Dude, there are levels to being together. You know that, right? Love is, like...I don't know." I look at Kiara briefly. "The last level? What level is that?"
"Somewhere in the middle." Kiara thoughtfully decides.
"Not if you ask Alex." Aaliyah argues quick. "It was more like level three."
"Okay, but how many levels are there?" I ask skeptically. "Like, in total."
"At least ten." Kiara decides. "So, there's liking, there's seeing, dating, labels, comfortable, love, comfortable—"
"You said that already." I pout out, absently looking around for my glass of whatever drink everyone else has. Kiara has hers, but I don't have mine. I think they did their math wrong.
"What, comfortable?" Kiara hums, picking up her fork to spin it around in her plate of pasta. "That's because there's different levels of comfortable." She reasons. "There's comfortable and then there's comfortable."
"What does that mean?" Dad shakes his head at her, allowing his food to get cold so he can really listen here.
"Well, there's comfortable like..." Kiara pauses. Glances at the children at the table like she's unsure. "Comfortable like I can be myself around you without covering my mouth when I laugh." She decides with a soft shrug. "And then there's the other comfortable like, um..." She pauses again to think of a sugarcoated version of her second option.
I chuckle to myself. She scoffs quietly under her breath.
"Oh," Dad catches onto that other comfortable. Changing without asking the other to leave the room first, shared showers, kinda shit you do when you're sure you have the house to yourself.
"Yeah—" I dismissively move on. "You guys miscounted." I sigh when I decide I really don't have a glass of whatever it is they have.
"We didn't." Mom looks like she was expecting me to point it out. She gestures to the glasses. "Christy across the street gave us new wine for Christmas."
"Oh," I acknowledge. So, I don't even have water like the kids do. Nice.
"You didn't want to just get him water?"
I look at Kiara curiously. She frowns like she just doesn't understand. Innocently but still with undertones of...sickly sweetness. It's almost funny, but I manage to fight the smile.
Mom blinks a couple of times as if she hadn't thought about someone saying anything. "Well, I wasn't sure what he wanted." She reasons.
"You didn't want to ask?"
Didn't want, she says. Not didn't think, no. Didn't want. As if they thought about it but simply didn't want to ask me anything. Figured it'd be fine because it's always fine. If I'm thirsty, I get up and grab my own drink. It's never been a problem. Not an obvious one, anyway.
Before things get awkward and the silence stretches on too long, Kiara continues. "Cameron, can you please go get Dad a glass of water?" She asks.
"Oh, I'll get it." Dad's already beginning to get up.
"Oh, no, that's okay." Kiara assures. Cameron doesn't blink or argue, questioning why he has to get up. He just doesn't it. "We're teaching him to be more mindful of others." She reasons with a shrug. "Helpful."
Elaina coughs loudly and without covering her mouth. "Papá, ¿están peleando?" She asks in her high pitch, sweet little voice.
Aaliyah's eyes narrow just as Alex is about to answer her. "Eat your food." She demands. Alex widens his eyes as he nods once at his daughter. She giggles and Aaliyah sends him a look of warning.
Cameron comes skipping into the room with a plastic cup in his hand. He grins widely as he hands it right over. "Oh, thank you, Nut." I grin back at him as I take it. He stands there and watches me tip the pretty purple cup back against my lips.
He's evil. My little nutcase is very evil. And—Surprise!—he's an actual nutcase who likes to stand there and watch his evilness play out.
You know how water is cold and refreshing? Feels good going down? Doesn't sting at all? Yeah. That's not what this is. At all.
I spit it out in the cup before too much goes down. Cameron blinks at me. Everyone blinks at me while I reach over to set it down as calmly as I possibly can back on the table.
"Oh, that's mine." Alex very awkwardly informs as he gestures to the plastic cup. He doesn't want it anymore because I just spit in it, but it was his.
"Dude, you—" I cut myself off and just laugh. "Come on, man. Twice now." I shake my head at him, smiling with my lips pressed together. "You know what? I've got the number of a great guy who can help you with it." I add on a grumble.
Alex frowns. "I'm not an alcoholic."
"Been there, pal. It's okay to accept help, you know."
"What's an alcoholic?" Cameron asks curiously.
"Your uncle, that's what."
Kiara clears her throat. Loudly..
I sigh. "I take it back." I decide. "Your uncle's not an alcoholic. Don't tell anyone he is. That's mean."
"But what is it?" Cameron pushes. He's such a curious kid.
"We'll talk about it later, Cam." Kiara gives him this for now, but it won't hold. Maybe long enough for us to at least leave the table that's quickly becoming awkward.
I cough to clear my throat and reach forward for the plastic cup. I don't miss the way Kiara straightens beside me, and I pause to just look at her for a second. She looks curious. Not afraid, not ridged, and she doesn't avert her gaze when we make eye contact. She just wants to know what I'm going to do with it now.
"I..." I begin, holding up the cup in all of its purple glory for the table to see. "Cannot believe my baby sister's husband was so okay with the possibility of poisoning me."
"Oh, for God's sake, Noah. Just go pour it down the drain already." Mom scoffs, shaking her head as she stabs angrily at a meatball. She's just pissed the grandson who can talk isn't using his speaking abilities to call her Grandma.
"Fine." I huff as I push my chair back. "But I just want you all to know, I hate whiskey. I better not come back and be asked if I snuck a few sips."
"Just go." Mom dismisses me again. I hum and narrow my eyes at the rest of the table before I leave the room.
God. I hate whiskey.