I woke up with a pounding headache, which was a clear sign of a hangover. The sound of giggling and whispers outside my bedroom door made me groan internally. It was a routine for my children, Sir, Rumi, and Blue, to come and wake me up with breakfast in bed on Saturdays, just like how it was when their father was living with us. I forced a smile on my face as they burst into the room, carrying a tray with pancakes, bacon, and orange juice.
"Rise and shine, Mommy!" they exclaimed in unison, their grinning faces radiating with joy and enthusiasm.
"Good morning, my little munchkins," I replied, grateful for their thoughtfulness but also dreading the noise and chaos that would inevitably follow. I tried to sit up, but the throbbing in my head intensified, forcing me to lie back down.
"Did you have fun last night, Mommy?" Rumi asked, her eyes wide with curiosity.
I chuckled weakly, trying to play off my hangover. "Yes, sweetie, I had a great time."
Sir nudged his sister, a mischievous spark in his eyes. "Did you dance like Tinkerbell again, Mommy?" he teased.
I shot him a playful glare, knowing full well that I was the life of the party when I had one too many drinks. They giggled, knowing exactly what he was talking about.
"mhm.. you know it, I even threw in a little Fortnite dance you taught me." I winked.
As I watched, Blue broke into a broad smile and began to mimic her brother's moves as he danced to the beat of Fortnite's music. Rumi, on the other hand, struggled to keep up, but she was determined to participate in the fun. Despite her lack of coordination, Rumi's efforts were endearing and made the moment all the more comical. I couldn't help but chuckle as I watched my babies engage in their playful shenanigans.
"Okay kiddos, did y'all do your chores today?" I said softly, watching to see their response.
Sir and Rumi both nodded eagerly, proud of themselves for completing their tasks. Blue, however, looked guilty as she shook her head.
"I'm sorry, Mommy. I forgot to feed the fish," she confessed, her lower lip trembling.
I reached out and ruffled her hair. "It's okay, Blue. Just make sure you do it after breakfast, okay?"
She nodded quickly, relief flooding her small features. The three of them sat on either side of me, digging into their breakfast with gusto. I couldn't help but feel grateful for these little angels, no matter how chaotic they made my life.
As they chattered away, my phone rang. I glanced down, recognizing the number on the screen. It was their father, Jay, calling to check in. I answered with a forced cheeriness, trying to discreetly get him off the phone. I didn't want my children to hear his broken promises and excuses.
"Hey...Good morning." I said, trying to keep my voice light.
Jay was smiling from the other line I could tell by the tonality in his voice. His raspy Brooklyn New York accent always found a way to pull me in.
"Good morning Ma... how are you? the kids?" he asked, his voice so loving.
I leaned back onto my pillow cushions in my bed and sighed. I could tell he was about to go on a tangent and speak about how much he wished he was home.
"the kids are good," I said dryly. "I am too... we are living a good life."
"oh okay... I...uhh I miss you, and the kids Bey. It's good to hear from you. I've been trying to reach out to you for months." Jay said.
I wanted to tell him the truth but I just couldn't. I wanted him to know that I loved him but I hated talking to him. I hated that he broke our family apart and I wished he would have handled the situation differently.
The children especially Blue studied me heavily, trying to figure out who I was talking to. My body language was changed and they knew me better than anyone.
"I'm sorry... I wanted to talk to you too. But I just don't think I'm ready to face all that happened. You did something that damaged our family. it still hurts." I said weakly.
As I waited on the line, there was a noticeable silence that stretched on for what felt like an eternity. Eventually, I could tell that Jay was carefully considering his next words.
"I understand, Bey. I know I messed up, and I'm trying to make things right. I miss you and the kids so much. Can we talk about this more in person? Just one visit?" Jay pleaded, his voice filled with desperation.
I closed my eyes, trying to calm the storm of emotions swirling inside me. I knew Jay was sincere in his apologies, but the wounds he had inflicted on our family ran deep. It wasn't just about forgiving him, it was about rebuilding trust and our shattered lives.
"I need time to think about coming to visit you okay? I can't make any promises right now," I said softly, knowing it was the truth.
There was another pause on the line before Jay spoke again, his voice heavy with emotion. "I understand, Bey. I'll give you the space you need. Just know that I love you and the kids more than anything. I'll do whatever it takes to make things right."
He changed the subject with a lighter tone. "They're saying they may be letting me out early on good behavior, I just need someone that would let me crash with them."
"I hope you're not asking to stay with me" I whispered into the mic.
"Nah... but can you call my folks mamas? Someone that can make sure I'm straight?"
Lord knows that I didn't want to be in the middle of Jay's mess, He always found himself doing something stupid and having me help him get out of it. Honestly, I was tired of his foolery.
"That's beautiful news but I don't want to talk about that right now."
"You're in front of the kids aren't you?" Jay said in a shaky tone. "That's the only time you're quick to get off the phone."
I exhaled softly, stabbing my fork into my pancake because my anxiety was rising.
"Look... I won't leave you hanging because I love you. I just need you to understand boundaries. Thanks for checking in. Uh-huh... I'll call your momma and your homeboys. Okay? I'll talk to you later...Bye."
As soon as I heard his voice, I knew it was going to be another one of those calls. The kind of call that would drag on for hours, filled with empty promises and guilt trips. I didn't have the energy for it and I wanted to start my day peacefully, without the weight of his drama hanging over me. So, I ended the call quickly, relieved that I wouldn't have to endure any more of his emotional manipulation. As I hung up the phone, I took a deep breath and felt a sense of relief wash over me. Finally, I could start my day without feeling drained or anxious.
"Whose was that, Mama?" Blue asked softly, her pretty brown eyes peering up at me with innocence.
I kissed her forehead and said, "No one, baby. Let's start our day."
Blue understood my feelings and time. As we sat down for breakfast our morning routine, I couldn't help feeling a heaviness in my heart. Jay's calls always brought back memories of our broken family and the pain he had caused. Despite Jay's mistakes, I stayed strong for my children and focused on building a better future filled with love, trust, and happiness."
And as the day went on, I held my children close, grateful for the love and joy they brought into my life. Despite the challenges we faced, I knew we would get through it together, stronger than ever. And maybe, just maybe, one day Jay would truly make things right and be a part of our lives again. But for now, I focused on the present and the beautiful moments we shared as a family.
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As I pushed open the door to my Cécred shop, the subtle aroma of freshly brewed coffee and floral arrangements filled my senses. A feeling of warmth and comfort enveloped me as I gazed around the room, taking in the hustle and bustle of my employees who were diligently working on their tasks. Some were stocking the shelves with new merchandise, while others were assisting customers with their inquiries. The sound of the cash register and the occasional laughter of satisfied customers in the background added to the lively atmosphere. It was a moment of immense pride to see my vision come to life, with my shop being a hub of activity and a source of joy for the community.
My three children ran into my homegirls, Kelly and Michelle, with bright eyes and grand smiles, chasing one another. They greeted my children with loving hugs and kisses as they talked about what we did this morning.
Whenever I had a hectic inventory day, I knew that I could rely on my friends for unwavering support. They never failed to come by and offer their assistance, making the task seem less daunting and much more manageable. Their presence and contribution always made a significant difference, and I am incredibly grateful to have them in my life.
My mother's friends usually came in on the weekends to sit in the salon chairs and get a touch-up or silk press by her. Most of our customers were local but I appreciated the simplicity of our business. Everyone in the city knew my family had growing and healing hands when it came to beauty.
Leading my kids into my office, I sat them down. making sure they had snacks, toys, and computer access. I went straight to the front desk greeting people that came in, offering them wine, and informing them about the deals we had available at Cécred. Even though I was CEO and founder, I wanted to be hands-on.
"Okay Beyoncé you outdid yourself this month, you topped last month's sales by twenty thousand. We sold over 6,000 products just this week in online sales. I think it's time we expand." My assistant said cheerfully.
I grinned softly at her words, taking in the moment to celebrate my successors of the month. My assistant Janessa was such a loyal and bright young lady. I appreciated how hard she went for the company day in and day out.
"We can set up a meeting with my team about what that would look like. Remind me to create a proposal as well." I said softly, smiling at her.
She nodded and smiled back. "Sure thing Ms.Knowles, you got it."
As she walked away I began to water my white roses and gardenias. I then turned on the open neon sign and walked up to my friends.
"Mmmm... you're glowing," Kelly said to me, playing with a curly strand of my hair. "And Mama Tina said you came home late last night."
My face was flushed, as she twirled her finger in my golden brown locks. she was always in my business. Even when I had absolutely nothing going on.
"So... Who is He?" Michelle added.
Usually, whenever Kelly would interrogate me about changed behavior due to a man I would be able to give her all the answers she had questions to. But this time was a little different. The man I met yesterday, Dontrell was a mystery to me. We both went our separate ways last night and forgot to take one another's numbers down. I figured, because Houston was such a small city I was bound to see him around again if fate would let it.
"I uh... I fumbled that bag possibly. I forgot to get his number." I said softly.
Kelly and Michelle exchanged glances before bursting into laughter.
"So let me get this straight... You had a great conversation with an attractive guy for three hours, he paid for your drinks, but you both left without exchanging numbers?" Michelle asked for clarification.
I felt a sudden wave of embarrassment wash over me, causing me to lower my head in shame. I slowly nodded my head, hoping that Kelly wouldn't notice my discomfort. However, her continued giggling made me realize that my attempt to hide my embarrassment had failed. I couldn't help but feel a little frustrated, but I tried my best to remain composed.
"Oh, girl! You messed that one up, huh?" Kelly teased.
I rolled my eyes, knowing they were just joking. But deep down, I couldn't stop thinking about Dontrell. There was something about him that had caught my attention, and I couldn't shake it off.
As I began to feel my mind wandering off, I suddenly became aware of my assistant's presence. She was walking towards me with a beautiful bouquet of yellow roses in her hand, which she extended towards me with a warm smile on her face. The sight of the bright yellow blooms filled me with a sense of warmth and comfort, and I knew that it was a symbol of friendship. As I took the bouquet from her, I couldn't help but feel grateful for having such a caring and thoughtful assistant.
"Good morning, Ms. Knowles. I wanted to let you know that there's a delivery waiting for you. It's a beautiful bouquet of 24 roses, arranged by a company called opulent florals. According to the note attached to the bouquet, the sender is Mr. Dontrell. Out of respect of your privacy, i won't read anything else, but please let me know if you'd like me to do anything with the bouquet." My assistant said.
My stomach sank, forgetting that my drunken ass had told him what I did for work and exactly where to find me.
It was so cute that he remembered and wanted to make such a sweet gesture for me.
"Are you sure it's from him?" I asked, my voice filled with excitement.
I couldn't stop grinning as I took off the ribbon and checked out the card. This guy was something! I mean, he had it all - the charm, the wit, and the persistence to win me over. I was hooked on him and his efforts to get my attention.
"Got it, boss. I want to ensure your safety, so I did some research on the sender of the flowers. He appears to be a successful CEO and quite attractive. Additionally, there is a sealed card attached to the flowers. I also found out that he has a 16-year-old daughter."
"Oh, it's okay Janessa," I whispered faintly. "Thank you..."
Kelly and Michelle approached me with a curious look on their faces. I noticed that Kelly grabbed the floral note that I was holding out and began to read it. As she read she bit her lip. I could tell that she was feeling whatever was written down. Her reaction made me start to feel a little anxious about reading the note myself. Nonetheless, I managed to gather the courage to read it, hoping that it would be worth the risk.
"What does it say?" Michelle said snatching it from Kels.
"Read it Chelle," I said.
Michelle opened the card and read it aloud, "To the beautiful Beyoncé, thank you for a wonderful and memorable evening. I hope these flowers brighten your day the way your smile brightened up mine last night. I would love to take you out for dinner sometime. Please give me a call if you're interested. - Dontrell Edmons."
I felt my cheeks warm up as I took the card from Michelle's hand. I couldn't believe he remembered me and went out of his way to send me flowers and ask me out.
"Do it, girl!" Kelly exclaimed. "You haven't been with nobody since Jay's crazy ass."
I looked at my friends, feeling a mix of nerves and excitement. But ultimately, I knew I had to take a chance.
"I think I will," I said, determination in my voice as I picked up my phone to give Dontrell a call.
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After summoning all my courage, I dialed Dontrell's number. My heart was pounding as I waited for him to answer. After four long rings, he finally picked up. I quickly made my way to the break room, locked the door behind me, and settled onto the couch. I wanted to ensure that I could give him my undivided attention. The room was quiet, and the cool air from the air conditioner gave me a sense of comfort.
As soon as I saw him on FaceTime, I couldn't help but think how incredibly handsome he looked. His face was beaming with joy and excitement, which made me smile too. I could tell that he had just finished a workout as his body was tense and defined. He was shirtless and I could see the beads of sweat on his skin. It was a bit distracting, but I couldn't help but admire his physique.
Despite the visual distraction, I tried my best to focus on his face during the call. His eyes were bright and lively, and his smile was contagious. However, every time he got up to grab something from the other room, I couldn't help but let my eyes wander. When he sat back down, I tried to refocus on the conversation, but it was difficult to ignore the allure of his glistening, toned body.
"Hello, Mr. Edmons," I said softly, my Southern accent shining through.
I was fully engaged in our conversation as I listened intently to his deep, hearty laughter on the other end of the line. His voice was so deep and sonorous that it was like a lullaby to my ears, making me feel completely at ease.
"Hello Ms. Knowles." he had said back, almost as if he knew he had a hold on me.
I felt anxious and shy as he spoke to me. He was understanding and continued the conversation in a way that made me feel comfortable. He listened attentively and asked questions that allowed me to share my thoughts at my own pace.
"You good?" He asked me, never taking his eyes off me.
I nodded my head in agreement and averted my gaze downwards, feeling shy.
"If I was there I'd make you look into my eyes and tell me what's wrong." He said sternly.
"I just don't want you to get too invested in me. You know what I mean?" I told him.
"What do you mean by that? Too invested?" He asked me with patience.
As I remained on FaceTime, I felt a lump form in my throat, and my palms grew sweaty. I knew I had to say something, but the words wouldn't come out. I took a deep breath, trying to calm my nerves, but it didn't help much. This was the hardest part. Trying to move on from Jay and start dating someone new was not easy. The thought of it filled me with fear and uncertainty. I wondered how I could ever move on when everything about dating a new man scared me.
"my ex-husband is my baggage... Right now he's in prison for conspiracy of murder." I mumbled softly. "He took someone's life for coming on to me."
"So he's crazy?" Dontrell well on to ask.
I shook my head no and sighed. "Not crazy but a little mentally unstable. He has bipolar disorder and his anger isn't the best."
"Don't worry about that, I'm not afraid of a little baggage," Dontrell reassured me. "I want to get to know you for who you are, not for what you've been through. And if your ex-husband is a problem, I'll do whatever it takes to protect you."
I felt tears welling up in my eyes at his words. No one had ever made me feel so safe and cared for before. It was a strange feeling, one that I wasn't used to, but I welcomed it with open arms.
"Thank you, Trell," I said softly. "I appreciate your understanding and your willingness to be there for me."
We continued talking for hours, getting to know each other on a deeper level. By the end of the call, I felt like I had known him for years, not just a few weeks. I felt a connection with him that I had never felt before, and I knew that he was someone special.
As we said our goodbyes and hung up the call, I couldn't help but smile to myself. Maybe, just maybe, I had found someone who could help me move on from my past and start a new chapter in my life. And for the first time in a long time, I was excited for what the future held.
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Mea Culpa comes out tomorrow that may just be a one-shot.... what do yall think?