You slept here at the base, at the sleeping quarters. It was too dangerous to have your own house right now, in the midst of a war.
Shadow was also walking to the sleeping quarters. You picked up your pace to catch up to him. Normally, you would gently grab somones wrist or touch their shoulder to let them know you were trying to catch up to them, but not with shadow. Last time you made physical contact with him he wasn't too pleased.
"Hey, shads!" you said, getting his attention. He turns towards you, while you both kept a steady pace while walking to the quarters.
"Hm?" said shadow.
"Uhm..." you started, unconfident about your words. "I- uh, you wouldn't mind if i asked you something, would you?"
"Go on." he said, crossing his arms and looking ahead.
"I don't know much about... infinite... would you mind telling me what you know? I-im sorry... i don't mean to bother you." you said, embarrassed but also very curious. You remember Infinite saying something about shadow, so you wanted to gets shadows opinion.
His face darkened and he let out a deep growl from his throat. "Infinite... that bastard."
You looked up at his face, intruiged.
"I first encountered him when he snuck up on me. He was pissed that i eliminated his cowardly squad. He made a weak attempt to defeat me, but he failed miserably. I made a fool of him."
This is the same story infinite had told you, about how shadow had defeated his weaker past self.
"What is his motive now?"
"Revenge. He just cannot accept the fact that he is weak, so his solution is to gain as much power as he can. His tiny brain just cant see the wrong in his doing, so he teamed up with Eggman to grow the Eggman Empire."
You nodded, listening closely. He stopped walking, and put his hand on a doorknob, one you assumed was to his room.
"That is the summary. Im sorry you hadn't known this before. If youll excuse me, im going to sleep." shadow said. Sometimes he could be so cold, yet so sweet.
You obliged and headed to your own "room". You unlocked it with the key and collapsed on the small but cozy bed. When you were first introduced to the little apartment, it was bare and unwelcoming. The wallsused to be blank and there was no decorations.
Since then, youve really gotten the room just to your liking. You were content to say you had been here a while, since the start of the resistance when there were only a few members who were dedicated to stopping the war.
You stared up at the ceiling. Your mind began to wander... and you heart began to pound. You caught yourself thinking about your interesting encounter with Infinite! He was such an odd and complex jackal; it was like he was a total mystery. This intrigued you to learn more about him, no matter the risk. It was like you were unconsciously longing to see him again.
You shook your head and tried to push him out of your mind, but he didn't budge, so you made space for him in the back of your mind. You stood and shuffled your way to the bathroom, and stared into the mirror. A slight blush seemed to have infected your cheeks.
As you stared in the mirror, the negative thoughts set in. it was extremely comforting to think a boy like Infinite, one of the most striking boys youve ever seen, to be so interested by a girl like you. Despite this, you couldn't help but think to yourself.
He probably isn't thinking about me anymore. He has so many other things he could be doing.
Im way out of his league.
Why me? Why would he choose me?
You stopped and looked down into the sink, where you noticed tears spilling into the drain. You sniffled and wiped your face. You turned on the tap water from the sink, cupped your hands, and splashed your face with the freezing water, hoping that would stop the painful thoughts, and at the very least stop the tears.
You began to take shaky deep breaths, trying to calm yourself down. Why am i sobbing? You asked yourself. You thought it stupid to be crying over a boy, it seemed that was a thing of middle school. But no, you didn't believe that was the whole reason. so why were you getting so emotional?
Your trembling hands splashed water onto the dried wound on your shoulder, that washed off the remaining blood. Then, you bandaged it up. You refused to look in the mirror anymore.
The bed looked so cozy. You collapsed into it, hugging a pillow close to you. To your surprise, you noticed you were sobbing yet again. The pillow was damp from your tears, you clung to it like it would slip away any moment.
Sleep did not come. No matter how much you tried pushing all the thoughts away, they would pry their way right back in. thankfully, the tears had stopped and begun drying on the pillow.
Your mind fought against sleep, no matter how badly you wanted it. Eventually, the release of sleep came. You slipped deeper and deeper into slumber.
In your dream, there seemed to be an interesting subject; Infinite.
Infinites POV
I put my phone in my pocket, and finished my meal.
I decided on a bit of stress relief before going to sleep. I grasped a liquor bottle in my hands, pouring a generous amount into a glass.
This would sure help me take my mind off of things. Its not like a bit of alcohol could hurt anyone, right? Plus, i wouldn't get too drunk tonight, considering i had a relatively important mission to clear tomorrow if i wanted to gain Eggmans trust back.
I made a promise to myselft that i wouldn't mess it up tomorrow.
I guess I had finally screwed up and failed the mission today. I wont lie to myself, i knew damn well it was entirely my fault. The fact that i just couldn't control myself had me shamed. I just wanted to feel a different feeling for once, other than... the all too familiar emptiness that had made a home in my mind.
Now I'm home and I miss that girl.
The alcohol seemed to have kicked in... my thought began more clouded and fuzzy. I was even having a bit of trouble recalling my encounter with the other jackal.
I shuffled my way to the bathroom to clean myself up. I stared into the mirror. I resented my face, the way that ugly scar was permanently painted onto my face.
I was disgusted at how my eyes looked. I hated how they were two different colors, why did they have to differ from everyone else? I would like them much better if they were just one color.
Everytime i looked in the mirror, it just reminded me of how i could never be anything like the others. Sometimes, i even caught myself thinking of how much better Sonic, my rival, is than me.
The way he seemed to be too perfect. no matter how hard i tried to change i could never be anything like him. He never fell short on his missions, and always proved to be worthy of his great reputation.
Nobody would ever think that way of me. All they would think is how i am a cold hearted monster who wants nothing but to see others suffer. That couldn't be further from the truth. I may have a bitter shell around me, that does not tell who i am.
What had shocked me today is how Y/N had acted. At first, it was blatantly obvious that she was fearful of me. Just like everyone else, they expected me to take their lives without a second thought. That must have been why she was the first to attack me. I had no intent of hurting her, and you couldn't imagine the guilt i felt when i had injured her like that.
She was unworthy of me. I bet she for forces myself onto her like that. She was clearly uncomfortable at first, what had caught off guard is how empathetic she was.
When she held my hand, when she told me she understood my feelings, it all had me feeling as if she didn't see me as a monster as all the others did.
I pulled myself back to reality, and began treating my wounds. She must have been disgusted them, to see my body so damaged, far from perfect. No matter how much i tried to make my body more appealing, the scars would always be there, forever reminding me the despair from the war.
I washed my wounds and began to bandage them up. The ones that she had given me, the scratches and bite marks.
I collapsed onto my bed, exhausted from the day despite the lack of fighting.
I closed my eyes, and sleep was quick to welcome me thanks to the alcohol I had drank earlier.