"No, you know what? I should head back home. It's getting late, and I've got work early," Aoom said, gently pulling her hand away from the woman's grasp. "Catch you later," she added, planting a quick kiss on the woman's cheek before making her way towards the exit. She couldn't bring herself to do it, not yet anyway. But, what would happen in a month? Or three?
The alcohol was buzzing in her veins, her mind too cluttered with thoughts. She hailed an Uber to take her home. It was 2:00 AM where she was, which meant it was around 3:00 PM in Thailand. As soon as she settled into the Uber, she decided to call Charlotte.
"Heey, is everything okay?" Charlotte's concerned face illuminated Aoom's phone screen, aware of the late hour.
"Hey," Aoom replied, uncertainty evident in her tone. "I'm not sure if everything's okay, Charlotte... Actually, I'm not sure about anything right now. Are you busy?" Aoom's voice rambled with uncertainty as she struggled to articulate her thoughts.
Charlotte's brow furrowed with worry. "No, I'm not busy, and even if I was, I'm not anymore. What's going on, Aoom? You sound troubled."
Aoom took a deep breath, trying to gather her thoughts. "It's Meena," she began, her voice tinged with sadness. "I left, and I told her not to wait for me, but... I miss her, Charlotte. I miss her so much it hurts."
Charlotte listened intently, her heart aching for her friend. "I can only imagine how hard this is for you, Aoom. But you made this decision for a reason. Why are you doubting it now?"
Aoom hesitated, struggling to find the words. "It's just... being away from her, it's making me question everything. I miss her warmth, her laughter... even her annoying habits. And it's not just that, Charlotte. I've met people here, good people who make me laugh, who make me feel alive again. But every time I'm with them, I can't shake this feeling of guilt, like I'm betraying Meena."
Charlotte's expression softened with understanding. "Aoom, it's natural to crave connection, especially when you're feeling lonely. But you're not betraying Meena by finding happiness in the present. You made a difficult choice to leave, but that doesn't mean you have to put your life on hold."
Aoom nodded, tears welling up in her eyes. "I know, but it's so hard. What if Meena moves on while I'm away? What if she finds someone else who makes her happy?"
"You can't control what Meena does, Aoom. All you can do is focus on yourself and your own journey. If your paths align again in the future, then that's wonderful. But for now, you need to prioritize your own happiness and well-being." Charlotte told her, having gone though a situation like that herself.
Aoom nodded, absorbing Charlotte's words, but her mind continued to whirl with uncertainty. "But what if... What if we could've made it work, and I was just too cowardly to try? What if I let fear dictate my decisions, and now I've missed out on one of the best things that have happened in my life?" Aoom's voice trembled with the weight of her doubts, her insecurities laid bare.
Charlotte sighed, recognizing the familiar pattern of self-doubt in her friend's words. "Aoom, it's natural to second-guess yourself, especially when emotions are involved. But you made the best decision you could at the time, with the information you had. You can't change the past, but you can learn from it and grow."
Aoom nodded slowly, her gaze searching Charlotte's face in her phone in the dark Uber. "But Char, how do you do it? How do you seem so calm now, so at peace with yourself?" A note of desperation crept into Aoom's voice, longing for the same sense of serenity she saw reflected in her friend's eyes.
Charlotte's smile faltered, her expression growing solemn. "Aoom, I wish I could tell you that I've completely overcome my own doubts and fears, but the truth is... I haven't. I've learned to ignore them, to push them aside and focus on the present. But deep down, I know that at some point, they'll come back to haunt me."
Aoom listened, Charlotte's vulnerability strucking a chord within her, reminding Aoom of her own struggles with uncertainty and regret.
"But do you know what I'm doing for the moment?" Charlotte continued, her voice filled with a mixture of resignation and determination. "The best I can, Aoom. And sometimes it doesn't feel like enough. Sometimes I feel like I've fucked everything up."
There was a moment of silence before Charlotte spoke again, her voice heavy with emotion, "Letting go feels like tearing a piece of yourself away. You try to fill the void with distractions, with new experiences, but the ache remains." "But eventually," she continued, her voice filled with conviction, "you start to realize that holding on only prolongs the pain. You begin to find solace in the memories, in the lessons learned, and you slowly start to heal."
A sense of hope flickered within Aoom as she listened to Charlotte's words, sensing a glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel. "So, the only question here is, what do you want for yourself Aoom? What truly makes you happy?" Charlotte asked her, her voice gentle yet probing. It was a question that struck at the heart of Aoom's inner turmoil, forcing her to confront her own aspirations.
Aoom's mind drifted to Meena, her happiness brought her happiness, but she knew she couldn't depend on her for her own sense of fulfillment. She had a job, a life to live, and she couldn't let her happiness be solely reliant on another person.
"I understand, Charlotte," Aoom said softly. "Meena's happiness brings me happiness, but I can't let myself become dependent on her. I have my own path to forge, my own dreams to pursue. But... I wish I could do it beside her."
"Do your goals align with hers, Aoom?" Have you two talked about it? Charlotte's voice was calm but penetrating, asking Aoom to contemplate the deeper implications of their relationship. "Do you both envision each other in your life in, say, five years? Why did you urge her to not wait for you? "What was the actual reason?"
Aoom hesitated, her mind spinning as she considered Charlotte's questions. They were questions she had been avoiding, and they triggered an array of emotions within her.
"I... I'm not sure, Charlotte," Aoom acknowledged, her voice stained with doubt. "Meena and I have never truly discussed the future in that way. And, as for telling her not to wait for me, I suppose I believed it was best. I did not want her to put her life on hold for me, waiting for something that could never come."
Charlotte nodded, her expression thoughtful. "I understand, Aoom. But have you considered that maybe Meena wants to be a part of your future? That maybe she's willing to wait for you, no matter how long it takes or what the implications are?"
"But... I'm not sure if I do, Charlotte," Aoom confessed, her voice tinged with uncertainty. "I've already had to part ways with someone due to work, and I fear risking my friendship with Meena. You understand, right? Meena, Charlotte, she's like a radiant soul, a precious blessing in disguise."
Charlotte nodded in understanding, her expression thoughtful as she absorbed Aoom's words. "I understand, Aoom," she replied softly. "But sometimes, the fear of losing something precious can hold us back from taking the leap of faith that could lead to something even more beautiful."
Aoom pondered Charlotte's words, grappling with her conflicting emotions. The fear of losing something precious warred with the potential for something even more profound. She was trapped in a blur of contradictory emotions. On the one hand, afraid of losing what she valued most: her connection with Meena and the security of familiarity. On the other, there was a glint of optimism, a hint of something deeper, more profound.
Her heart heavy with uncertainty, Aoom hesitated, knowing that the decision she made would change how she lived.. It was a conflict within herself, a struggle between staying safe in the known or venturing into the unknown. This wasn't just about a fleeting moment – it was about her life, her happiness, her future.
Closing her eyes, Aoom sought clarity amidst the chaos of her thoughts. She couldn't ignore the pull she felt towards the unknown, the yearning for something greater than what she had. But with that longing came fear – fear of disappointment, fear of heartache.
"You're absolutely right, Char," she said, her words filled with deep sincerity. "It's not simply about exchanging words. It's about exposing our souls, expressing our deepest wishes, concerns, and aspirations. But it's not only that, Char. It's all about the connection, the raw feeling that can only be experienced in person. Waiting six months for this feels like an eternity," she said, her desperation becoming apparent.
Charlotte listened, her empathy evident in the gentle curve of her lips. "I understand, Aoom," she replied softly, her voice a soothing balm to Aoom's troubled soul. "And I'm here for you, every step of the way, for the both of you"
Aoom's gratitude overflowed as she looked at her friend. "Thank you, Char," she said, her voice choked with emotion. "I don't know what I'd do without you, without Ice, or even Bombay."
Charlotte smiled warmly, her eyes reflecting a shared sense of determination. "We'll figure it out together, Aoom," she reassured her. "We'll find a way to make this happen."
A sense of relief washed over Aoom as she absorbed Charlotte's words. "You know what, Char?" she said, a spark of determination igniting within her. "Could you find out when Meena's free? Or maybe... maybe you could ask Boss for a favor? I know it's a long shot, but... I need to see her, Char. I can't wait any longer."
Charlotte nodded, her expression one of unwavering support. "Consider it done, Aoom," she replied, her voice filled with determination. "We'll make this happen, no matter what it takes."
"You take care of yourself, alright?" Charlotte's voice softened over the phone. "I'll make sure to look after Meena. I can't have my parents getting divorced," she added with a hint of playfulness.
Aoom chuckled at Charlotte's words. "I'll do my best, Char," she promised, feeling a sense of warmth and gratitude for her friend's unwavering support. "And thanks again. I don't know what I'd do without you."
As they exchanged heartfelt goodbyes, Aoom felt a renewed sense of calm wash over her. Just as her conversation with Charlotte was coming to an end, her Uber pulled up to her place. She expressed her gratitude to the driver, adding a generous tip after the conversation he had to hear, before stepping out and making her way into her temporary apartment.
The apartment building was nestled in a quiet, safe community just outside the loud city. It was a small condominium building, and Aoom's unit was conveniently located next to Ice's. Despite its modest size, the building exuded a sense of coziness and security that Aoom found comforting.
Entering her apartment, Aoom took a moment to appreciate the familiar surroundings. It may not have been her permanent home, but for now, it provided a sanctuary in the middle the chaos of her emotions. With a sigh of relief, she settled in, grateful for the peace and quiet that enveloped her.
Deciding to prioritize her well-being, Aoom opted to get some much-needed rest. After taking a soothing hot shower to unwind, she brewed herself a comforting cup of green tea. With her mind still buzzing from her conversation with Charlotte and the events of the day, she crawled into bed, ready to put it all aside for the night.
Before succumbing to sleep, Aoom took a moment to reach out to Meena, wanting to ensure her friend was doing well. She sent a simple text: "I made it home, hope you're having a good day :)"
Almost immediately, her phone buzzed with a reply from Meena, accompanied by a selfie. It depicted Meena and Snack, in the midst of a car wash adventure. Aoom couldn't help but let out a small smile at the sight, grateful for the glimpse into her day.
With a contented sigh, Aoom set her phone aside and closed her eyes, allowing herself to drift off into a peaceful slumber. Tomorrow would bring new challenges and decisions, but for now, she was grateful for the warmth of her bed and the comforting presence of her friends, even from afar.
On the other side of the world, pulling into the car wash, Meena's thoughts drifted to Aoom. She imagined her laughter and the way her eyes sparkled when she was happy. How she wished Aoom could be here with them, sharing in the simple joy of the moment.
Beside her, Snack sensed Meena's somber mood and nudged her gently. "Hey, what's on your mind?" she asked, concern lacing her voice.
Meena forced a smile, but it didn't quite reach her eyes. "Oh, nothing," she replied, "Just missing Aoom, you know?"
Understanding Meena's feelings, Snack nodded sympathetically. "I get it," she murmured softly. "Aoom's a big part of your life. It's tough being away from someone you care about. Heck, I miss her too, with all her jokes and antics," Snack added, attempting to brighten Meena's spirits.
Meena couldn't help but giggle at Snack's attempt to cheer her up. Just then, her phone chimed with a text from Aoom. A smile spread across Meena's face as she read the message.
She turned to Snack, "Hey, Snack, let's take a selfie to send to Aoom!" Meena exclaimed, grabbing her phone. "She'll be happy to see us having fun together." Snack grinned and struck a pose beside Meena as she snapped the picture.
"So," Snack started while the car moved in the line, "What are you two?" she asked, her curiosity piqued. Although Snack was friends with both Meena and Aoom, she wasn't as close to them as Charlotte and Ice were. However, even she couldn't miss the undeniable connection between them.
"Snack, I've been struggling with this for a while now," Meena started, her voice full of doubt. "I'm not sure how to describe what Aoom and I have. It's like trying to capture smoke with your hands. One moment, it feels like we're more than friends, like if there's an unspoken thread that ties us together. But then reality hits, and I realize how difficult everything is."
Snack listened closely, sensing the depth of Meena's emotions. "It sounds like you're caught between what you feel and what you think you should feel," she said, her voice kind and compassionate.
Meena agreed, her gaze distant as she tried to put her feelings into words. "Exactly," she murmured. "On one hand, Aoom makes me happier than I've ever been. She sees me for who I am, flaws and all, and loves me anyway. She challenges me, inspires me, makes me want to be a better person. But on the other hand, there are so many obstacles in our way. Our careers, our ambitions... Sometimes it feels like we're on different paths, heading in opposite directions."
Snack reached out and squeezed Meena's hand, offering silent support. "It's okay to feel conflicted," she reassured her. "Love isn't always easy, especially when there are so many factors at play. But what matters is how you feel when you're with her. Does she make you happy? Does she make you feel alive?"
Meena nodded slowly, a small smile tugging at the corners of her lips. "Yes," she admitted, a sense of warmth spreading through her chest. "Yes, she does. When I'm with Aoom, I feel like I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be. Like the pieces of the puzzle are finally falling into place."
Snack listened quietly, nodding in understanding. "It's tough when someone becomes such a big part of your life," she replied sympathetically. "Their absence leaves a void that's hard to fill."
Meena sighed, feeling a pang of sadness in her chest. "Exactly," she agreed, her voice tinged with longing. "I want to give Aoom the space she needs to pursue her dreams, but at the same time, I can't help but miss her. It's like a constant tug-of-war between my head and my heart."
"The bond between you two is rock solid, Meena," Snack affirmed earnestly, her words carrying undeniable truth. "No matter where you are, that connection holds strong, like an invisible tie that binds you together. It's both a blessing and a challenge. But what really matters is your mutual care for each other. Even if your paths diverge, you both want what's best for the other."
Meena absorbed Snack's words, feeling a weight lift off her shoulders. "It's like we're tied together by fate," she murmured, reflecting on the depth of their connection.
Snack nodded in agreement. "Exactly," she concurred. "And that kind of selfless love is rare. It's what makes your bond so special."
Meena's heart swelled with gratitude towards Snack for her wisdom. "Thank you," she expressed sincerely. "You've truly given me a new way of looking at things."
As they wrapped up at the car wash, Meena couldn't help but feel a sense of satisfaction. She had recently acquired a new car and was determined to maintain it meticulously. The vehicle boasted an advanced system that would notify her of any potential issues, ensuring its longevity and reliability on the road.
Back at her condo, snuggled in the calm of her living room, Meena decided to engage in an activity she hadn't performed in a long time. With intent, she lighted a few candles spread across the room, their soft warmth forming dancing shadows on the walls. The flickering light added to the peaceful atmosphere, wrapping her in a blanket of warmth.
Settling onto her cozy sofa, Meena reached for her journal, its worn pages a testament to the countless thoughts and emotions she had poured onto them over the months. As she opened it, a wave of nostalgia washed over her, mingling with a renewed sense of determination.
With pen in hand, Meena embarked on the journey of translating her thoughts into written words, each stroke of the pen a deliberate act of expression upon the blank pages before her:
"As I sit here with pen in hand and heart heavy with ideas, I'm dealing with feelings that seem beyond comprehension. What is it that I am feeling? Could this be love? Is it just the comfort of habit and familiarity? Is there something I'm missing, or am I failing to see the entirety of the picture?
Aoom—my ray of sunshine, the person who both creates and alleviates my problems. How ironic, isn't it? Her presence in my life is a double-edged sword, bringing both joy and turmoil in equal measure. And yet, I find myself unable to imagine a world without her.
Hearing her speak passionately about her dreams and aspirations fills me with a sense of awe and pride. I am endlessly proud of her, of everything she has achieved and the person she has become. But, despite the comforting nature of these feelings, there is a shade of fear and insecurity. What if my feelings for her are short-lived, destined to evaporate like an afternoon breeze? The thought of losing her sends shivers down my spine. What if everything shifts and we end up on opposite paths?
As the night settles in, my mind becomes a battleground, consumed by questions that refuse to be silenced. But in the middle the chaos, one truth remains constant: my love for her. She is my sanctuary in a world of uncertainty, a source of comfort and strength. Even as fear grips my heart, her presence brings me peace and reassurance. With her by my side, I know that I am not alone."
With a sigh, she gently closed the worn pages of her small notebook, the weight of her thoughts lingering in the stillness of the room. As she prepared to retire for the night, she felt a sense of release wash over her, as if unburdening her soul onto those pages had lifted a weight from her shoulders.
As she lay in bed, the memory of the woman who had flirted with Aoom lingered in her mind like an unwelcome guest. On one hand, there was a sense of relief knowing that Aoom was receiving the attention she rightfully deserved. Yet, on the other hand, a surge of frustration coursed through her veins. She couldn't shake the feeling of jealousy that chewed at her insides.
She wished to be the one showering Aoom with care and attention, the one who filled her eyes with delight and happiness. It was a contradictory mix of feelings, and she was split between wanting Aoom to be happy and wanting to be the source of that happiness herself.