[ 🎨 ]
THE HALLS RUSTLED and bustled as the five boys set their school lunch down on the tables in the cafeteria. usually, they would eat outside in the courtyard but due to the snowy weather, it was absolutely freezing.
"did you guys also get 6 for the last question?" Soobin asked as the other boys stuffed their mouths.
"i got 3." Taehyun ruffled his eyebrows.
"i got negative 4." Hyuka muttered.
Soobin sighed. "great, so we all failed that test."
"hey, maybe Hyuka's right about a negative probability, even though we haven't covered that in class." Yeonjun defended as the other boys laughed along.
"anyways, where do you guys want to go after school today, now that it's finally the weekend?" Yeonjun asked. "i vote the arcade." the boy put his hand up in agreement with himself.
"ooh, that would be fun, i'm down." Soobin hi-fived the boy.
"i'm fine with anything as long as it's indoors."
"i agree with Taehyun." Hyuka pointed.
"Beomgyu?"
the pair of the four's eyes peered over to the chestnut who was lost in space. his food was completely untouched, as if he needed to be brought back to reality.
the black haired boy sitting across from Beomgyu waved his hand in his line of vision, catching the boy's attention.
"what's up?" Beomgyu shook his head lightly.
"i'm asking you the same question." Yeonjun laughed. "what's wrong? you look like somebody just hit your head with a rock."
"oh, i-i didn't get much sleep last night." the brunet yawned.
"what's wrong?"
"i don't know." the boy looked at the others. "i feel like somethings missing, like i'm out of place or something."
"well, nothing's new. it could be that your mother just recently came back." Taehyun suggested, patting the boy's shoulder.
"yeah, maybe."
"hopefully the arcade today will take your mind off of things." Yeonjun uplifted as they continued to eat their food and fill up the time with their chatter.
[ 🎨 ]
Beomgyu knew the boys were wrong. his mother had been gone for weeks at a time before and he hadn't felt this way. it felt like a part of his day was completely gone, as if half of his memory was wiped away. he had been feeling like this for weeks now but he couldn't put his finger on it.
the boy began to walk home with his completed canvas hanging from his fingers. usually, he would sing to express whatever was wrong but that was of no use. somehow, art just spoke to him. he just felt like he could do anything with his paintbrush and oils.
he had painted a bouquet of pink flowers. no, he didn't know why he chose that topic, or the colors, or even the flowers. yet he did, and it felt good.
Beomgyu placed his earbuds in and continued to walk home, feeling out of place.
[ 🎨 ]
"you guys, don't be upset when i win." Yeonjun fake yawned as the five huddled up at the claw machine.
"i don't care who wins, i just want the stuffed animal." Beomgyu concentrated on Yeonjun's navigation of the claw.
after his failure, he let out a scream, allowing Taehyun from behind him to try as well. after dozens of failed attempts and lost tokens, the boys finally won one stuffed animal key chain by the help of Soobin.
"let's play basketball!" Hyuka ran as they all soon followed.
the boys all ran from behind him, shooting three pointers and moving on to a bunch of different games. the arcade wasn't too crowded, thankfully, so the boys could just be goofballs running around and scoring tickets to use on prizes later on.
"wait Beomgyu, play this racer game with me." Soobin called as the others were busy with the indoor soccer tournament.
"oh, you're getting crushed."
and so, the rivalry began between the two to see who could steer the fastest and the best. they were head to head until Beomgyu took the lead and won against the pouty black haired boy next to him.
maybe the boys were right. it did help Beomgyu take his mind off of things for a few hours. yes, he still felt odd and he also felt guilty for letting that pain just go away for a while.
he just wanted to be happy, but he didn't know what was paining him so badly.
[ 🎨 ]
"so, how was school and the arcade?" his mother said from the counter, picking up dishes to place on the dinner table to eat.
"it was good." Beomgyu half-heartedly replied, picking up his fork and placing the food on his plate.
"i was thinking we should try out the new bakery downtown." his mother did the same. "my friend owns it."
"that sounds nice."
she placed her fork down and crossed her arms. "are you alright? you aren't responding like you normally do. in fact, you haven't for the past few weeks."
"i just." the boy sighed. "i don't even know. i have this weird pit in my stomach and i have no idea why. it's been like this for weeks and there's this empty space that i don't know how to fill." he placed his fork down and laid his head in his hands. "nobody even gets it."
"did you recently lose interest in a hobby? a show?" his mother tried to make up excuses. "you know, i always feel like that for a couple of days when a show i've loved for a while ends."
"no, it wasn't that." he jut his tongue to the inside of his mouth.
"did you lose somebody important to you?"
Beomgyu sat with his eyebrows ruffled. he stared off into space and thought for a bit, deeply into what his mother asked. could he have lost somebody?
"but if i have this pit in my stomach, how could i have forgotten them so easily?"
"i don't know." his mother contemplated. "sometimes life is like that. completely unexplainable for most of the thoughts we have to tackle. they especially don't make sense when you try to explain them to somebody."
"you're telling me." he sighed. "i need to figure out the cause of it because it's killing me."
"you will, trust me."
they sat and ate. "oh, by the way." his mother broke the silence. "i didn't know you write in a diary. i've been trying to get you to journal your feelings for so long but you never listened."
"i don't have one." he muttered with furrowed brows.
"it was on your nightstand when i was grabbing your laundry basket. don't worry, i didn't read it if that's what you're worried about. i just saw it and thought i'd compliment you."
a diary that i didn't even own?
what?