POV: Shubman Gill
Shubman woke up slowly, from his deep slumber. It was the first time in the last few days that he was able to sleep properly. His sleep was not terrorized by nightmares. He shifted uncomfortably and thought of calling out to Ibrahim, but stopped when he heard Simran talk.
‘ Ibrahim, all I'm saying is, maybe having his friends around might help him recover faster’
Ibrahim let out a groan.
‘ Madam, I will invite them, when I think the time is right. Right now, he's too weak. Plus you have seen his fits of anger, do you really think it would be the best move to bring his friends around?’
‘ you can't keep him isolated!’
‘ Don't raise your voice, he's finally asleep! Also I'm not isolating him. Just…. Can you just trust me?’ Ibrahim whispered.
‘ I want to trust you, but I don't agree with what you are doing right now’ Simran sounded angry.
‘ You don't need to agree, I will do what I think is best. His safety is my responsibility’
Simran let out a gasp.
‘ How. Dare. You’ Simran growled.
Shubman cleared his throat and decided to end the argument.
‘ Hi baby," Simran said entering through the curtains.
Shubman hugged her.
‘ I'm sorry about misbehaving in the morning.’
Simran kissed his head and smiled through her tears.
‘ Where's mamma and dada?’
‘ They are with the Drs, they will come in soon’
Shubman nodded and continued to hug Simran.
‘Sir? Did you sleep well?’ Ibrahim asked, peeking through the curtains.
Shubman slowly nodded and glanced at his sister as he noticed the tension between Ibrahim and Simran.
‘ I.. I'm going to the masjid. I will come back soon’
‘ Maybe don't come back at all,’ Simran whispered to herself.
Shubman looked at his sister wide eyed.
Ibrahim let out an angry sigh and left the room.
Shubman opened his mouth to say something but stopped when he heard his mom and dad rushing in.
‘ Kaka!’ his mom cried out and hugged Shubman.
‘ Mamma…..Dada’ he cried and buried himself in his mom's arms. His father caressed his head.
‘ Oh my baby!’’ his mom cried and continued to kiss his face, his head, his swollen hands.
‘ Mamma, please don't cry," Shubman sobbed.
They hugged for a few more minutes, savoring each other's warmth. Shubman settled into his mom's arm, just like he used to as a child. His dad and Simran besides him.
‘ Suniye, maybe we should take him abroad. The doctors, the doctors aren't able to find out what's wrong with him’ Shubman's mom said softly.
Shubman sat up panicked. He didn't want to go anywhere, Ishaan couldn't reach him.
‘ No…dada I don't want to go’
‘ Baccha, she is right. You have been here for days, and they didn't find out anything. You aren't improving at all’
‘ I…I am, I was able to sleep today…Di, tell them’ Shubman pleaded.
‘ He's right papa, he's not fit enough to travel. What if something happens on the flight?’ she tried to reason against her hearts wishes.
‘ Dada….I will recover soon. I ..please? I don't want to go abroad’ Shubman held his father's hand.
‘ Zid math karo bacche. Don't be stubborn’
‘ papa, let's give it a few more days. If he doesn't recover we will take him’ Simran suggested.
‘ What is wrong with you both. Can't you see how much pain he's in. No one is giving us any answers. I can't see him like this’ his mother got up agitated.
‘ Mamma…’ Shubman held her hands and stopped her.
‘ One week, give me one week from today onwards. ….I will recover…’ Shubman pleaded unreasonably.
‘ How?’ his mother asked.
‘ I…I don't know.’
Shubman looked down at his lap. He didn't know how he would recover, when he didn't know what ails him. All he knew was, going abroad meant, going away from Ishaan, and he couldn't accept that.
‘ Kaka, we just want what's best for you’ his dad patted his head.
‘ I know….just, trust me this once. Please?’ he pouted.
Neither his father, nor his mother could deny him, his wishes. Against their hearts, they agreed to whatever he said.
‘ one week, Shubman’ his mother said sternly.
Shubman nodded and hugged her. He tried to fight off the fear which tried to get ahold of his heart. He couldn't become weak. He needed to recover against all odds.
Shubman didn't want to let his mom and dad go, but after spending a few hours together, he hugged them as they decided to go for the night. They didn't want to go either, but, they came to the hospital straight from the airport, they needed to rest.
‘ Now that you are determined to get better, I know that you will, my Sher’ his dad whispered as he hugged him.
Shubman nodded.
‘ Happy birthday beta’ his mom handed him a box.
He smiled and opened it, it was a beautiful Rolex watch.
‘ I wish things were different, and we didn't have to give you this in the hospital’ she wiped her tears.
‘ Things will get better, mom’ Simran tried to console him.
After they had left, Simran came and lied down next to Shubman.
‘ Happy birthday, baby. Let's go for a long vacation after all this’ she said snuggling into his arms.
Shubman agreed and hugged her.
‘ Did you…did you talk to him?’
Simran tensed up. she didn't want to tell him about their conversation.
‘ I didn't get the time to’
‘ I…I miss him. Do you think…he misses me?’ he sniffled.
‘ I don't know kaka. Why are you thinking of things that ache your heart?’ she asked quietly.
‘ He is my entire heart. If he's not here, then…how do I …’ he couldn't complete his sentence.
‘ Shubman…we can think of all this later. Remember what you promised?’ she tried to change the topic.
She was right. Maybe when he's stronger he could go to find his heart, which had wandered off.
Ibrahim came in and stopped when he saw Simran and Shubman thumb wrestling. Shubman was starting to look better.
‘ You can go home, I will stay the night' Ibrahim said avoiding Simran.
‘ I can stay’ she was determined.
Ibrahim looked down and clenched his jaw.
Shubman was confused, why are they acting like this.
‘ Uh, is something going on?’ he asked.
‘ No baby, nothing to worry about’ she gave a forced smile.
Another awkward minute passed.
‘ Di, why don't you go home and rest for a while’ Shubman whispered to her.
Simran glared at him, but he was right. She was extremely tired and starved.
‘ Just one hour’ she said more to herself.
‘ Take a few hours. I'm okay’ Shubman kissed her head.
After Simran had left, Ibrahim helped the nurse give Shubman a sponge bath and change him into a new set of clothes.
‘ I don't like being helpless like this’ Shubman softly said.
‘ it will get better, In Sha Allah’
‘ I made you some kheer. I used to make it on my son's birthday too’ Ibrahim said taking out a tiffin box.
The room was filled with the sweet aroma of homemade kheer.
‘ You have a son?’
‘...had’
‘ Oh, I'm sorry’ Shubman sheepishly said.
‘ It's okay. To god we belong, and to him we return’
Ibrahim offered Shubman a spoonful of kheer.
Shubman hesitated, he thought of the pain during vomiting.
‘ it's okay sir..’ Ibrahim said softly to calm Shubman.
Shubman gulped and nervously opened his mouth.
‘ Bismillah’ Ibrahim said as Shubman ate.
Shubman was amazed by how delicious the kheer was. It melted in his mouth, and immediately filled him with warmth. It felt like a mother's hug.
‘ Is it good?’ Ibrahim asked smiling.
Shubman enthusiastically nodded as Ibrahim offered him more.
‘ My son used to finish the entire pot, in one sitting’
‘ what …what happened to him’
Ibrahim told him everything.
‘ I'm sorry…what about your wife?’ he asked in between bites.
Ibrahim took a deep breath as he felt a painful tug in his heart.
‘ After he passed away, my wife was unable to deal with the grief. We sort of lost ourselves within the silence that invaded our home. I dealt with it by reporting to duty. At that time I didn't realize that, I was just creating more distance between us’
‘ Seeing her was like looking at a stranger, a shell of the women I used to call my wife. I couldn't bear to see her like that, so I divorced her’
‘ WHAT??!’ Shubman was shocked.
‘i….if you loved her, why did you divorce her???’ he was confused.
‘ My last act of mercy towards her was to divorce her. My last act of love was to let her go’
‘ Ibrahim….if you loved her, why would you let her go???’ Shubman questioned.
‘ Sometimes letting go, is also an act of love’ Ibrahim smiled.
‘ Zaruri thodi hei, Pyaar ka mathlab paana hi hota hei.
Khabhi khabhi, jaane dena ka Naam bhi, pyar hota hei’
‘ it's not necessary to achieve someone in love, sometimes letting go is also called love’
Shubman narrowed his eyes.
‘ I would have fought for it to be better. Sat down and talked to her about it. If you love someone, why would you let them go’ Shubman sounded determined.
‘ maybe you will find out one day’
‘ No, once I am out of here I will sit Ishaan down and talk to him. Everything I have done wrong, I will correct them. All the pain that I caused, I will try to make him forget him, but I'm not letting him go.’
Ibrahim smiled and silently prayed for Shubman.
‘ Do you still miss her?’ Shubman asked after a while.
‘ Yes. A lot’
‘ Where is she now?’
‘ She lives in her husband's village now. She teaches embroidery’
‘ She remarried…and you?’
Ibrahim shrugged.
‘ Never had the time to think about it’
‘ Maybe you should marry my sister's Shubman teased.
Ibrahim nearly dropped what he was holding.
‘ what???’ he looked appalled.
‘ Enemies to lovers’ Shubman laughed out loud.
Ibrahim rolled his eyes and looked away.
‘ I would rather die single’
His comment made Shubman laugh more. Ibrahim felt happy seeing him laugh, even if it was at his expanse.
‘ Congratulations you finished this’ Ibrahim said getting up.
Shubman was pleasantly surprised, his stomach didn't hurt neither did he feel nauseated.
‘ Ibrahim, can we go out for a while?’ Shubman pouted from under the sheets.
Ibrahim who was busy checking the security details looked up from his tablet.
‘ Absolutely not’
‘Please, please? The fresh air will be good for me’ he begged Ibrahim.
Ibrahim shook his head.
‘ Ibrahim please, I can't sleep. I have been trying for hours. Please? Just a few minutes’
Ibrahim finally gave in and helped him out if the bed. He wrapped a black shawl around him and put a beanie on him.
‘ Where are you guys going?’ it was Simran.
They hadn't realized how much time had passed by.
‘ To look at the moon’ Shubman said excitedly.
‘ Is this safe?’
‘ Yes’ Ibrahim mumbled.
Simran glared at him and walked with them as they headed outside.
It was a calm night, the sky had finally cleared up revealing a beautiful full moon. Shubman tightened the shawl around his himself as he felt a shiver run through him. Ibrahim couldn't take him down to the ground floor, so he took Shubman to the balcony which joined with the oncology department.
‘ woah, that's a lot of security. Did we always have them?’ Shubman asked as he saw men with black uniforms surrounding them.
‘ Yes’ Ibrahim said.
Shubman took a deep breath of fresh air. He smiled as he gazed at the moon. He thought of all the times him and Ishaan had stared at the moon together. Ishaan would point out constellations and narrate the stories behind them.
Shubman couldn't remember any of the stories, but he remembers how Ishaan had smiled, how the wind had played with his hair. He could remember the faint scent that lingered in the air, how Ishaan had blushed when Shubman wouldn't stop staring at him. How soft Ishaan's lips felt against his, the way Ishaan's strong arms wrapped around Shubman's waist. How Shubman always melted against Ishaan.
Shubman knew that he was sometimes too selfish, his arrogance always blinded him. Sometimes he couldn't see beyond his career. Ishaan was right about everything he said. His anger towards him was justified. Taking the moon as his witness, he swore to himself, he will go back to Ishaan. Even if it hurt him, he will go back to repent for his sins.
‘ Shubhi’ Simran's voice brought him back to reality.
Shubman looked at her and she pointed towards her side. A little boy stood next to her. The hospital gown a little too big on her thin bony frame. His big eyes stared at Shubman in shock. Shubman smiled at him and bent down to his eye level..
‘ Hi?’ he softly said.
The boy opened his mouth to say something but he was too shocked.
Shubman smiled and extended his hands towards him. He slipped his small hands into Shubman's hands. Shubman looked at the cannula in his hands and looked up at the boys big beautiful eyes. His gaze wandered on the scars.
‘ Are you…you are Shubman Gill' he finally gasped.
Shubman nodded and smiled.
The boy continued to stare at Shubman.
‘ Baccha are you alone?’ Simran asked him.
He shook his head, but didn't look away from Shubman.
Shubman started to feel tense, the boy wouldn't even blink, he was still staring at him wide eyed, mouth ajar.
‘ where's your parents?’ Simran asked trying to break the tension between them.
The boy didn't answer and continued to stare. Shubman cleared his throat and asked him about his parents again. With shaking hands, the boy pointed over Shubman's shoulders. Everyone looked at the same direction. No one was there.
‘ Why are you carrying that man on your back?’ the boy let out a whisper.
Shubman gulped in fear. He saw everyone tense up as he frantically looked up.
‘ What…’ Ibrahim asked.
The boy pointed towards Shubman's back again.
‘ He has black skin and red eyes, he telling me not to tell you’ the boy trembled in fear.
Shubman immediately stood up as he remembered the demon from the dreams. He looked at Ibrahim and Simran. He started to hyperventilate as he felt a sharp pain spread across his shoulders. Ibrahim grabbed his hands and started to drag him towards his room. He could hear Ibrahim yelling commands as he went. He could hear Simran asking Ibrahim questions. Shubman felt a hot pain go through his spine as he almost collapsed onto the the floor. He couldn't breath, he desperately tried to get air into his lungs. Ibrahim took him into his arms and as he lost consciousness.