ISABELLE
I knew what he was doing, the way he was using sex to cover up his emotions, trying to mask the sadness inside him. He could pretend all he wanted but I knew the truth. There was no hiding anything.
He went to work, came home and we went to bed. He wasn't hungry much, his facial hair had grown scruffy, and he had just lost his way. We hadn't discussed Jenna since she left, which was a week ago. The house was quiet.
Parker only came back here to sleep and then they were up early heading to a job site.
Luckily today, they knocked off early.
I had been growing larger by the day, the stairs were giving me a good workout having to take them each evening and I tried to limit the times I needed to go upstairs, mostly when it was bedtime.
I was sitting on the floor folding clothing when Ash walked in, and I knew we'd have to eventually discuss things. I tried after Jenna left and he said he needed time, but time was not helping at all.
"Thoughts on dinner?" I asked, laying a pair of boxers over my stomach to fold.
"Just get whatever you feel like, I probably won't be hungry."
I stopped myself from rolling my eyes. "Ok. That doesn't really answer my question." I wanted to eat together, not have him sitting beside me whilst I ate. "I thought we could even go grab dinner somewhere and have it down at the beach?"
He sighed and started fishing around for a matching sock to help put away. "I'm just not that hungry Belle."
"We need to talk about Jenna." I held his eye contact, letting him know I wasn't taking no for An answer.
"What do you want to talk about? We can't do anything. She isn't our kid Isabelle. Do you want to be accused of kidnapping or called a fucking pervert for going near her? Because that's what will happen. You need to accept that she's not coming back for fucks sake" his tone startled me as his words were harsher each time he spoke.
"That isn't what I wanted to talk about." I sighed, slowly pushing myself from the ground. I re sat back down on the couch and just shook my head. "You're hiding your actual emotions and I've tipped toed around you and just left you to be, but we've barely spoken, and you just seem to be getting worse. You look a mess, you're the boss at work and you need to set the example, which you're not doing." I stood up and reached for the basket. "I know she's not coming back, and I cannot comprehend how you must feel, raising someone that you've thought it your daughter from the beginning. It's a cruel blow to you and your parents because they helped raise her too. You just can't live this way, it's not healthy. She's not dead, she's with them and at least we know she's beign very well taken care of."
"How would you feel if I took our baby away from you?" he shot back.
I felt the urge to slap him. "I'd be feeling murderous." I glared. "The difference is, I'm his actual mother. I wasn't Jennas mother, I loved her, but she hated me. She was miserable here, she wanted us to break up and made you promise there would be no babies from us. That girl wanted her mother as soon as she found out she was alive. That's not our fault, it's not on you and it's not on me. This girl walked out of our home and into their house, she wasn't just taken."
"You've clearly been thinking about that for awhile then." He scoffed.
I grabbed the washing basket with the folded clothes and walked by him. I wasn't going to say anything else, but I was being petty. "What day is it?" I asked, my voice cold but on the verge of breaking.
"Wednesday." he spoke. "I know the day is Isabelle." It was then that his eyes grew slightly wider. "Oh fuck."
"Don't worry about it. It honestly didn't matter because of how much you're struggling right now, and I was going to let it go but you don't get to act like this when I'm only trying to help." I moved towards him and shoved to basket in his lap and turned to walk off. "I'm not your fucking maid either."
"Where are you going?"
"To find a man who will remember my birthday." I shot back and slammed the front door loudly.
I couldn't have been any more dramatic than I just was, but I wanted to prove a point. There are other people out here who would remember, who would talk me through their feelings. Not just shut me out.
I wasn't leaving, I just wanted him to realise how he was treating me, how he was acting was hurting me as well. Hell, I wanted to scare him.
Driving around aimlessly until I went to a familiar place. The only place that could cheer me up right now, Ash's parents.
I didn't get a chance to knock on their door because his dad had opened it and greeted me with a kiss to the cheek and warm hug. This is just what I needed.
"Sorry to intrude" I smiled.
"Don't be silly, you're always welcome." He laughed, and rubbed my stomach with a gentle pat. "how's the little one growing?"
"Good, I have another scan in two weeks to find out what we're having."
"Really? that's exciting but don't tell us, I want a surprise" Janice smiled coming out from the kitchen and pulling her apron off.
We all sat around the table, they were asking about day-to-day things, avoiding the larger question which I knew they wanted to know, but instead they didn't ask they just spoke about the baby and the wedding that was happening in less than two weeks.
"Isabelle why are you here on your birthday?"
I groaned with a laugh. "He forgot, I'm not bothered by it, he's got a head full of demons at the moment, it's just I wished he remembered."
"He's struggling isn't he. Well, we brought you something" she smiled handing over an envelope.
"You didn't need to do that; you have helped me out enough." I said as I opened the card, my jaw half dropping open as I read what it was "You can't be serious?"
"Of course, we are. You're our daughter, you deserve it after everything our son has done to you" Brant chuckled as I reached over and gave him a kiss.
"Enjoy it. Now, do you need anything else for the wedding?" Janice asked after I hugged her and stopped crying.
"Everything is all set for then" I smiled "well unless I get any bigger and then I will need to wear a bed sheet down that aisle" I laughed.
"Well, you could pull it off" Brant laughed with me "how is Ashton doing?" he asked quieter.
"Hiding his feelings and acting as if nothing is wrong, he won't talk but this afternoon we exchanged words and he said to move on because she's never coming back, he's not her dad so we need to get over that."
"He's angry, I guess all that anger is directed at her though, and you're the one who's copping it."
That was more than true.
"It was good to see you and give Ashton our love" his mum kissed my cheek and waved me off as I left for the car.
All the lights were off when I walked in except the light glow from the kitchen lights, I didn't know what they were doing. Probably playing a game. "Ashton" I called out, I was not in the mood for a fight.
He came down the stairs and looked relieved that I had shown up, he didn't speak he just wrapped his arms around me and held me close to his body, kissing the top of my head and holding me, I missed his cuddles.
"I'm so sorry" he pulled back and held my cheeks softly. I noticed he had shaved.
"It's ok" I shrugged and laughed "no it's not ok, I'm sick of this Ash."
"Me too" he whispered "You're right. I just don't want to talk about it yet, she's gone, and I can't do anything about it, she wanted to leave me. I have given her my all, and she didn't want to be here. What sort of dad am I going to be to our baby? I couldn't even raise one kid right."
"That had nothing to do with you as a parent, it was all because she found out about her mother, that wasn't on you." I brushed my fingertips through his hair and cupped the back of his head. "You are a great father, and our baby will be lucky to have you."
He gave me a slight boyish grin. "We'll be lucky because we have you." He smiled. "Where did you go to?"
"Your mum and dads, want to see what they brought me?" I grinned widely and reached in my back pocket.
Holding out the card and watching his reaction as he looked over it. "Bullshit, what the hell!" he grinned.
"I guess we're going on a holiday, the holiday we never got to go on years ago" I smiled, Ash and I had booked a trip to Vanuatu three years ago, just the two of us and it never happened. Jenna had made the biggest scene, so I threw in the towel and cancelled it. Ash wasn't happy but got over it, something we hadn't been able to do was go on a trip just the two of us and now we were able to.
"I can't wait." he lent down and kissed me once more then pulled back slightly "So would you like to come say hello to our new family member?" his smile grew wider as he took hold of my hand and pulled me towards the living room.
"What have you done?" I bet they caught a spider or something.
"Sit on the couch."
A couple minutes later he came out holding a brown box. "I didn't forget your birthday, I just forgot that it was today, but I was organised early, and time got away from me this week. I'm sorry."
The box was brought over towards me, and Ash sat in on the floor as I lifted the lid.
"Oh my god, you didn't!" I gasped covering my mouth with both of my hands.
"One thing you've always asked for but have never gotten, so what are you going to call her?"
"Coco, little coco." I smiled taking hold of the little blue eyed, dark and light grey chunky kitten with a pink collar.
"Well coco, meet your new mummy" Ash handed her over and she nuzzled in the crook of my neck.
"She's so cute and tiny" I cried, she was cute and tiny. "Thank you so much." I leant forward and grabbed Ash by the base of his neck and pressed my lips to his "I love her." I had wanted a kitten since I was a child, my mother was allergic and then Jenna had her own allergies too. I just stopped asked for one years ago. He remembered.
"Your birthday is not over yet" He winked and stood up "follow me."
I followed him to the kitchen with coco in my arms as Ash wrapped his arm around my waist, kissing the top of my head, "I love you, Belle."
"I love you Ash, thank you" I smiled up at him and when we entered the kitchen my eyes instantly filled with tears.
The whole table was candle lit with pizza and a pink shaped heart birthday cake in the middle, and then the best part happened. The part I hadn't expected.
My best friend that I hadn't seen for almost 6 months walking into the room and grinning from ear to ear as she spoke "hey, there baby mama."