Trigger warning: eating disorder recovery talk (nothing specific just emotional stuff)
The next day, after Madison's first therapy appointment, the atmosphere in the house was thick with anticipation. Taylor and Travis were anxiously waiting on the living room sofa, not sure what to expect. When she left, she was nervous, and Taylor fully expected her to storm out in the middle of the appointment and come back early. But a full hour went by, and Madison still wasn't home, which could've meant she attended the full session. Taylor hoped she did - for her own sake.
When Madison finally walked through the door, her expression was a storm cloud of emotions. Her steps were quick and determined as she bypassed the living room, avoiding to look at her parents. "I don't want to talk about it," she said, her voice almost breaking, before disappearing into her room.
The silence that followed was heavy.
"You think something else happened?" Travis asked, his gaze still lingering on the hallway.
Taylor shook her head, "therapy is tough. She is probably just feeling overwhelmed. I'll go talk to her."
Taylor, after giving Madison a few moments alone, rose from her seat. She knew all too well how therapy could make you feel all sorts of feelings, especially in the beginning. With a gentle knock, Taylor entered Madison's room to find her sitting on the window bench, staring at the nature outside.
"Honey, can you come with me? There's something I want to show you," Taylor said, her voice soft but carrying an undercurrent of something more, a hint of a plan.
Madison looked up, her eyes wary and red-rimmed. "I really don't feel like doing anything right now, mom," she replied, the defeat in her voice breaking Taylor's heart.
"I know, sweetie. But trust me, okay? Just this once," Taylor urged, extending her hand with a promise of understanding and support.
Reluctantly, Madison took her mother's hand, allowing herself to be led out of the sanctity of her room and down the hall. They arrived at the music room, a space filled with instruments, recording equipment - this was Taylor's sanctuary.
"What are we doing here?" Madison asked, her curiosity piqued despite her earlier resolve to shut out the world.
"We're going to write a song," Taylor announced, her eyes alight with a spark of inspiration. "About today, about everything you're feeling. It doesn't have to be perfect or even make sense to anyone else. But I think it might help to get some of it out. Music is my therapy and I know it can be yours too."
Madison hesitated, the idea of putting her turmoil into words and music both daunting and strangely appealing. "I don't even know where to start," she admitted, her voice a whisper.
"Start with how you felt walking out of that appointment, or even walking in. Start with a single word, a feeling, a thought. Anything. I'll be right here with you," Taylor encouraged, picking up a guitar and strumming a few chords, filling the room with a soothing melody that was waiting to be accompanied with words.
As the notes floated around them, Madison found herself drawn into the music, her mother's presence a comforting constant at her side. Slowly, hesitantly, she began to speak, her words faltering at first but gaining strength as she continued.
"Fear. Just, feeling uncertain of anything. It's like, you're walking into something and expecting it to fix your problems, but you still walk out feeling absolutely crap. And you feel so... visible. Like everyone knows you're walking to talk to someone about your stupid feelings."
Taylor listened, her fingers translating emotions into music, weaving Madison's raw, unfiltered experiences into a melody that was both haunting and beautiful. She knew Madison didn't want her to reply with advice - this was her time to let out whatever she's been holding in.
After listening to Taylor's haunting melody, Madison began feeling inspired.
"It's like walking through a storm, without a place to hide," she started forming the lyrics, the words coming slowly. Taylor continued to play. "Caught between the raindrops, trying to find the shine."
Taylor's fingers danced over the strings, molding the melody to match the emotion behind them. Madison continued to speak - some of her thoughts were lyrics, others just raw unfiltered emotion.
With Taylor's help, Madison crafted a powerful chorus:
"In the darkness I find my voice,
through the noise I make my choice,
More than my battles and my scars,
I reach for the moon, dance with the stars."
Madison, who hadn't sung seriously in years, found herself drawn into the music, her voice a perfect complement to the guitar's melody. Singing the lyrics they had just created, there was a vulnerability in her voice that added depth to the song, a raw, emotional edge that made the words even more poignant.
Her voice was the first thing Taylor heard when they met at the Secret sessions. Even back then, Taylor knew this child was something special. Now, seven years later, she knew she was right. Taylor has always felt sad when Madison abandoned her singing talent. However, as a supportive mom, she didn't want to push her to do something she didn't want to do. She knew that some of the best singers in the world do not have a singing career. She wanted her daughter to make that own choice, but secretly, she hoped that one day, Madison would find her way back to the music.
In the music room, with her mother by her side, Madison rediscovered her voice. It was rusty, a bit uncertain at times, but it was hers. She was able to belt songs, have a vibrato even Taylor was slightly envious of, and put so much power behind her voice it helped release her emotions.
Time seemed to have paused as the two worked through the song. They edited the lyrics and adjusted the melody until they had something that felt complete, something that spoke of Madison's journey, her pain, and her hope.
As they finished, the last notes of the song hanging in the air between them, Madison felt a sense of accomplishment, of connection. "I haven't sung like that in... I can't even remember," she said, a small smile playing on her lips.
Taylor hugged her, with tears of pride and joy in her eyes. "I know. You've always had incredible talent, since the first day I met you. It never went away."
Madison leaned into the embrace, feeling a sense of peace she hadn't felt in a long time. The song they had created was more than just melodies and words; it was a piece of her soul, a testament to her struggle and her strength. And for the first time in a long time, she felt ready to face the journey ahead, with her family by her side and music as her guide.
"You know what," Madison murmured as she leaned on Taylor's shoulder, "this did actually make me feel better."
Taylor smiled, "I'm so glad, sweetheart. Music can be amazing therapy."
"So, are we going to do this every time after my therapy session?" Madison half joked, but was genuinely curious.
Taylor chuckled, "Absolutely. I won't force you, but this room is yours to get yourself lost in and let out anything you want. I don't need to be present for it, but if you want me to, you just let me know."
Madison slowly nodded, realizing the extent of her mother's support on the way to her recovery.
After the emotional journey of creating and singing their song, a lightness settled over Madison and Taylor, a welcome relief from the intensity of their session. As they began to put away the instruments, Madison, with a mischievous glint in her eye, turned to Taylor.
"So, am I going to get royalties and authorship for this hit song?" she asked, her tone playful yet laced with a newfound confidence that the music session had sparked within her.
Taylor looked up, surprised by the question, then laughed, the sound warm and genuine. "Oh, you think we've got a hit on our hands, do you?" she teased back, her eyes sparkling with amusement.
"Absolutely," Madison replied, her spirits now lifted. "I mean, if it tops the charts, I'll need to be properly credited. Madison Swift-Kelce has a nice ring to it, don't you think?"
Taylor pretended to ponder this, tapping her chin thoughtfully. "Hmm, Madison Swift-Kelce... I like the sound of that. But I don't know Mads... This isn't meant to be seen by the world - I don't want you to think I am taking advantage of your vulnerability by making you write a song and publish it."
Madison rolled her eyes, "you're not. I want to do this. And I actually want to donate all proceeds to eating disorder charities."
Taylor looked at her daughter, beaming with pride, "you really are amazing, do you know that?
Madison shook her head and looked down - she was never used to Taylor's compliments.
Taylor took her hand, "but you are. And I want you to know how incredibly brave it was of you to express your emotions. And to do so in front of me."
Madison rolled her eyes playfully, a smirk tugging at the corners of her mouth. "Is that because you're THE Taylor Swift?" she teased, her tone light but curious. The idea of sharing such a personal piece of herself, much like her mom had done through her music career, felt both daunting and exhilarating.
Taylor laughed, the sound echoing warmly in the music room. "No, it's because I'm your mom," she replied, her eyes softening with affection. "I understand how difficult it is to show your raw emotions to someone else, to make yourself vulnerable. It's a strength, not a weakness, and it takes incredible courage."
Madison considered her mother's words, the gravity of what they had shared in the music room settling around her. The thought of using their song to help others battling eating disorders, to turn her struggle into a beacon of hope, suddenly made her feel a part of something much bigger than herself.
"Maybe it can actually make a difference, then," Madison mused, the idea taking root. "If our song could help even one person feel less alone in their fight, it would be worth it."
Taylor squeezed Madison's hand, her pride in her daughter shining brightly. "It would be more than worth it. Music has a way of reaching into the darkest corners, lighting them up with understanding and compassion. If you're comfortable with it, I think it's a beautiful idea."
The conversation marked a turning point for Madison, a realization of the power of her voice, both literally and metaphorically. The support
and encouragement from Taylor not only bolstered her recovery but also ignited a newfound purpose within her.
"Thanks, mom," Madison said, her voice imbued with a mixture of gratitude and determination. "For believing in me, for supporting me in this... in everything."
Taylor wrapped an arm around Madison, pulling her into a hug. "Always, baby. In every note you play, every word you sing, I'll always be here, cheering you on."
As they stepped out of the music room, the weight of their shared experience lingered, a testament to the power of music and the unbreakable bond between them. Madison, with Taylor by her side, felt ready to face her recovery head-on, armed with love, music, and a newfound purpose.