Alastor was holed up in his room for the majority of the week, claiming he was sick from bad taste. Lucifer found great delight in finally being free to do whatever he wanted without that damn demon. He could be with Charlie, get to know Vaggie, play with Niffty and drink with Husk and Angel Dust.
Things were looking up, he was beginning to feel welcomed. It was only a few weeks since his first night at the hotel, but he was already feeling like these guys were his family. Alastor was wrong, again - he didn't need Lilith.
Lilith had separated from him after leaving to go to Heaven. Lucifer didn't know her intentions, but she had simply stated that she still loved him, but it was best if they part.
That was seven years ago, and Lucifer still kept the ring. The ring signified that everything was going to be okay, that everything was fine. He would twist it off his finger and polish it until it was shining again, a golden band gleaming in the light. When they had first separated, Lucifer was distraught. He isolated himself from everyone, perfected the art of making rubber ducks (he couldn't count on both hands how many Lilith's he had made) and only contacted Charlie. Unfortunately, it seemed Charlie somewhat found his incessant ringing annoying, and sometimes she would let it go to voice mail. He would eventually fizzle out the calls and they even went a year without talking.
However, that one fateful day where she called him first was a turning point in his life - despite her only calling because she needed something from him. He adored Charlie, he needed his family. When Lilith left to go to Heaven, Charlie was all he had. When it became apparent that she did not want to contact him as often as he would have liked, he fell into a state of depression. He didn't even know if fallen angels could become depressed, but apparently God hated him and gave him low mood for years.
Now he lived with Charlie! He couldn't be happier, he hadn't been this joyful since Charlie was younger and he and Lilith would take it in turns to read a bedtime story to her. He was even beginning to think of the hotel members as his family! Even Alastor, despite his constant teasing and all-round unsettling disposition, was starting to climb his acquaintance list.
It was all going smoothly, Angel Dust and Husk were by the bar, and they were making conversation with Lucifer.
"How are you finding life at the hotel Lucifer?" Husk asked, cleaning a glass with a cloth. Lucifer was drinking some orange juice, it was only 11 in the morning.
"It's great now Alastor is stuck in his room. I might play WAP more often."
"Please don't."
"Please do." Husk and Angel Dust exchanged glances, Husk sending a warning glare and Angel Dust looking innocently, batting his eyelashes.
"I have to ask, why do you guys keep him around?"
"He's not that bad when you're not around. He seems to be threatened by you and tries to soothe himself by proving himself superior." Husk sighed, "he's also the reason I met all my friends... and Angel."
"Aw Husk you flatter me! Just say you want to fuck and I'll be right there."
"Nevermind. I want him to kill me so I never have to serve another drink to this sinner." Lucifer laughed at this, it was nice to finally have friends.
"What are you going to do with all that sexual tension you and Antlers have?" Angel Dust purred, and Lucifer nearly fell off his barstool (it would've been quite the fall).
"Sexual tension? We don't have any."
"You're telling me, if he, for whatever reason, asked to have sex with you. You would say no?"
"Why are you so perverted Angel? Leave him alone, Alastor is sex repulsed and Lucifer is a married man." Husk rolled his eyes. Lucifer sat with this question for a while. Sure Alastor wasn't a bad looking demon, but to go as far as to have sex with him? Even if he did feel sexual or even romantic attraction, they would bicker about everything. Lucifer also wasn't one for a one night stand, he needs a meaningful relationship before having sexual relations with someone.
"He's the most annoying demon I've ever had the displeasure of meeting. He's... attractive from some angles but we just wouldn't work."
"You've thought about this? Who would top?"
"Angel!" Husk warned, but Angel Dust waved him off.
"He seems to like power, maybe he'd be a top, or even a power bottom."
"I can assure you I am neither. Sex is disgusting and I will never participate in it." The trio jumped out of their skins in fright as a shadowy puddle revealed Alastor, looking a lot better than what he was a week ago. His hair looked freshly washed, something Lucifer had never seen before and he smelled... nice? He usually smelled of rotting carcass, so it was unusual to smell sandalwood.
"Well look who it is, beansprout! Have you finally recovered from bad music taste? Perhaps I should play another Cardi B song to brighten your day?"
"That won't be necessary."
"And what's with the hygiene? You look and smell better than you've ever done- did you brush your teeth?" Lucifer was aghast, what did Alastor have up his sleeve?
"For your information, I took my first bath in several years. Charlie told me I'll get extra points if I bathe."
"You still look like Bambi caught in a lightning storm so I don't know if you've earned those extra points. You're still a terrible father figure." Lucifer found great joy in watching Alastor's smile become strained.
"The apple doesn't fall far from the tree." Alastor retorted, narrowing his eyes. He leaned closer to Lucifer, using his cane as balance.
"Kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss." Angel Dust chanted quietly and both of the battling dads snapped their heads towards him.
"He may have brushed his teeth, but I can smell the plaque from a mile away. No way am I kissing this overgrown tomato." Lucifer remarked, stepping away from the deer.
"Come on! You guys would be the most feared couple in all of Hell!" Angel Dust whined, and Husk hid behind the bar. The nerve of Angel Dust was admirable.
"There's no sexual tension!" Lucifer growled and Alastor laughed darkly.
"The only tension I have with Lucifer is the tension in my shoulders from slouching to his level."
"You piece of sh-"
"Alastor! Are you feeling better?" Charlie asked, Vaggie was following her in hot pursuit.
"Yes my dear, and I even bathed!"
"Aw you're amazing Alastor!" The radio demon grinned and glanced at Lucifer out of the corner of his eye. Lucifer grunted and folded his arms.
"Are you guys still not getting along? It's been three weeks." Vaggie questioned, and the two glared at each other. Charlie pondered for a moment, before snapping her fingers and beaming.
"I have an idea! I need a dress for a date with Vaggie, you guys should go to the mall to buy me a dress! The best dress wins, then you guys should go to LuLu World and go on all the rides!" LuLu World was Lucifer's own theme park made especially for Charlie. It made his heart burst at the memory of Charlie as a kid, squealing at the sight of the mascots.
"Charlie this sounds like a dat-"
"Shut up Husk." Angel Dust covered Husk's mouth with one of his hands. "That sounds like a great idea!"
"I'll beat your flat ass in this competition." Lucifer prodded Alastor's chest tauntingly. Alastor sneered, and the two continued to throw insults throughout their journey.
•
They made a beeline to the most expensive clothing store, and immediately split ways to find a dress. Lucifer browsed the dresses, not even bothering to look at the price tags - he can afford it, he's the King of Hell! He separated the hangers as he looked through the clothing line.
He had a lot of experience with dresses with Lilith, and he knew was Charlie would like. His fingers stopped at a pale yellow dress. It had spaghetti straps and darker yellow flowers printed on the fabric. At the bust there was a white lace and a long ribbon tied at the top, cascading down the length of the dress. At the hem the fabric cut off at mid-thigh, which is usually the length that he had seen Charlie wear before. He thought the dress was very cute, and very Charlie. He decided to buy it.
Alastor on the other hand was struggling, beads of sweat falling down his face as he stared at the amount of dresses that looked the same. No matter how much he tried to find a different dress, they all appeared so similar. Not to mention the price tags were way out of his budget. Why was he even trying again? He didn't know (perhaps it was to see the look of Lucifer's face when Charlie chose his dress over her own father's). He had never even been on a date, let alone with a woman. He didn't know what women liked! He didn't even know what he liked. The only experience he had with dresses was that time Rosie asked him to pick a dress for a dinner party. He chose the red one because his favourite colour was red.
He stared at the dresses, furrowing his brow with a strained smile. If Rosie liked the red dress, then maybe he should choose a red colour. When has red ever done him wrong? His hand lingered on the only red dress on the clothing line, and picked it out. It was a crimson colour, with puffy short sleeves that cut off about mid bicep. It reached the ankles and the skirt flowed outwards, creating the illusion of a snatched waist he had heard Rosie say once. He looked at the price tag and nearly fainted, but nonetheless he was going to win this competition. No matter how much it cost.
They met outside of the store, Lucifer was waiting outside with a pleasant expression on his face.
"It took you a while beansprout, never shopped for a woman before?" Alastor narrowed his eyes as they walked.
"Fuck you." Lucifer gasped, bringing a hand to his chest.
"Alastor, the great radio demon, swearing? I'm honoured." Lucifer halted at the food court. "Let's go grab some lunch before we head to Lu-Lu Land."
There were many food stalls to choose from, ranging from pizza to burritos to chicken wings. Lucifer went for a bean and cheese burrito, and Alastor refrained from eating. He claimed he wasn't going to waste his money on mediocre food that he won't even like. Lucifer shrugged as they sat down on a table for two and unwrapped his burrito.
The burrito smelled amazing, the cheese was perfectly melted, the tortilla toasted just right and the beans were cooked all the way through. He took one large bite and savoured every sense. He could smell the cheese, taste the guacamole and feel the texture of the beans. Alastor rested his head on the back of his hands. He watched as Lucifer tore into the tortilla.
"That's cannibalism, how could you eat your own kind, baked bean?"
"Shut up loser, this is amazing." Lucifer spat, mouth full of food. His cheeks resembled a hamster as he chewed his way through half of his burrito. He glanced at Alastor and the radio demon was gazing elsewhere, and he noticed that he was looking at everyone else eating. He felt a little bad, the food here was expensive and he presumed the dress was as well. He sighed and pushed the tray of food over to Alastor, who stared at him quizzically.
"Try it, if you don't like it then I'll eat it."
"I usually just eat venison."
"Fine, I'll take it back." Lucifer went to grab the burrito but Alastor has snatched it from him and started hungrily munching on the burrito. He saw his eyes light up as he ate, and he swallowed the burrito in three bites.
"That was... really good."
"Maybe you should become vegetarian, or stop eating your own kind."
"I couldn't do that, meat is life."
"Angel Dust agrees." Lucifer cracked out a joke and it was the first time he had heard Alastor laugh genuinely. "It wasn't that funny."
"Meat jokes are always funny."
"You're a weird guy."
"You're a short guy."
"I thought we were bonding!"