It had been two weeks since you gave Bucky your number and he still hadn't plucked up enough courage to call you. Sam and Steve had been hounding him non-stop about finally setting a date with you, but Bucky just couldn't seem to push past the guilt of moving on. He had avoided going to the coffee shop the past two Saturdays because he couldn't face you after not calling you. Instead, he let Sam and Steve take Grant for his weekly hot chocolate and cookie.
He avoided asking about you the first Saturday he skipped the cafe visit. However, he could stop himself from asking Grant if he had fun when the guys brought him home, hoping that he would mention you. His heart dropped when Grant told him that you disappeared into the back after saying hello to him and never came out. Bucky had really fucked this one up. You were the first woman he had been interested in since Katie's death and he had already messed it up.
Grant seemed disappointed that he only got to see you for a few minutes, saying that you seemed sad and that made him sad. He had taken a liking to you over the past year and was excited to see you every Saturday. His son liked how attentive you were and how you doted on him when you saw him. Grant was too young to remember the way his mom used to do the same thing. The only woman Grant had in his life was Katie's mom, Mary, so getting that attention from you made him feel special. Bucky thought a visit to his grandma's may cheer Grant up, so that's where he planned to spend his Sunday.
"Are you ready buddy? We gotta get going if we wanna make it to Nana's in time for lunch." Bucky asked as he held Grant's coat for him to slip into.
"Ready, daddy. Can I take the cookie Y/n gave me yesterday? I want Nana to have it." Grant said with big eyes that Bucky couldn't say no to.
"Uh, sure buddy. I'll grab it for you."
He grabbed the light purple box off the kitchen counter and handed it to Grant who grinned and held it to his chest. Bucky ushered him out of their house and to the car. He watched Grant carefully sit the box on the seat next to him and then let Bucky strap him into his car seat. Bucky spent the drive to Mary's house trying to calm his nerves. While their visit was meant to be mostly for Grant's benefit, Bucky also wanted to talk to her about the situation he had found himself in. Mary had always given him her honest opinion in the past, so he was comfortable enough to ask for her advice.
"Come to Nana, honey!" Mary said as she saw Grant exit the car.
"Nana!" Grant ran up the stone walkway to the porch and straight into her arms.
"Oh, I've missed you." She said, scooping him into a tight hug.
Mary set Grant on her hip and pulled Bucky into a hug before leading them inside.
"Lunch is all set up and ready to go. Here you go, honey."
Mary placed Grant in his booster seat at the kitchen table and then placed his plate in front of him before handing the other one to Bucky. They spent lunch talking about what Bucky and Grant had been up to since their last visit and what they had planned for the next few weeks. When they finished eating, Grant asked Bucky about the cookie he had brought with him.
"Daddy, can I give Nana her cookie now?" Grant asked.
"Sure, buddy. I'll grab it for you."
Bucky grabbed the box from the counter and placed it in front of Grant with the lid open. His little face turned up to grin at Bucky and then he looked at Mary.
"I brought a cookie for you, Nana. Y/n makes the best cookies!" Grant grabbed the cookie from the box and held it out to Mary.
"That's so sweet of you, honey. What kind is it?" Mary took the cookie from him and bit into it.
"Smores! It has marshmallows." He squealed, making Bucky smile softly at his son's enthusiasm.
"Oh, wow. This is really good."
"I told you. Y/n is the best!"
"Is this the Y/n you told me about before? The one that you go see every Saturday?"
"Mhm. I like Y/n. Daddy likes her, too. He asked her on a date!" He said loudly, but then his brow dropped. "But I heard him tell Uncle Sam and Uncle Steve that he felt bad and couldn't call her."
Mary looked shocked while Bucky's skin paled. That wasn't exactly the way that he wanted to approach the subject with Mary. And when the hell did Grant hear that conversation? Bucky remembered telling Sam and Steve that he hadn't called you yet and that he still felt guilty for moving on, but Grant was supposed to be in bed. To his surprise, Mary's lips turned up into a smirk and continued her conversation with Grant.
"Daddy doesn't have anything to feel bad about. It's about time he puts himself back out there. He deserves to be happy, too. Doesn't he?" Mary passed a piece of the cookie to Grant as she spoke.
"Yeah!" Grant took the cookie and shoved it into his mouth. "Can I go play, Nana?"
"Of course, honey. I need to talk to your daddy anyway."
Bucky picked Grant up from the chair and set him down. As soon as his feet hit the floor, he took off running through the house to the playroom that Mary had decorated for him.
"Alright, serious talk time." Mary started. "Why haven't you called that girl? Grant likes her. He says you like her. What's the problem?"
Bucky looked out the backdoor to avoid Mary's eyes. He didn't want to tell her the reason he was avoiding you. Katie was her only child and Mary was so excited when she got married and started a family of her own. He had made a vow on his wedding day to love Katie for the rest of his life. How did he tell her mother that he was considering re-entering the dating world?
"Bucky, you can talk to me, honey." Mary said softly.
"I feel guilty." He whispered. "I feel like I'm breaking the vows I made to Katie."
"Oh, honey." She sighed. "It's been two years, Bucky. I know my daughter and she would want you to be happy. She'd want you to find a woman to love you and Grant the way she did. Katie wouldn't expect you to spend the rest of your life alone just because she's not able to be here with you."
"I know that, but it feels like I'm trying to replace her with someone else. I don't know if I have enough room in my heart for someone new." His voice broke as he spoke.
"Do you have feelings for Y/n?"
Bucky nodded.
"Then you have room for her, too. If you didn't, those feelings wouldn't have grown for her in the first place. I know you well enough to know that you will never stop loving my daughter. But, I also know that you're capable of keeping that love alive while still giving yourself up to someone new. Talk to Y/n. Explain everything. If she's the right one, she'll understand."
Mary smiled reassuringly and squeezed his forearm gently.
"How can you be so understanding about this?" Bucky asked.
"Because I've been in your situation. When Katie's father died of an aneurysm, I was five months pregnant with her. I never thought I'd be able to love another man, but then I found Dean and love just kind of—-happened. From a widow to a widower, you have nothing to feel guilty for."
Bucky let her words sink in before he whispered the last bit of his hesitation.
"I'm scared. What if I do fall in love with Y/n and then I lose her like I lost Katie?"
"You can't let your fear keep you from living, Bucky. Call Y/n." Mary said firmly and then rose from her seat and kissed the top of his head. "I'm going to go check on Grant while you think about what I said."
~
Three weeks had passed and you still hadn't heard from Bucky. He hadn't shown up for his usual Saturday visit last week or the week before and you weren't expecting him to show up today either. In fact, you had given up hope and accepted that he only asked you on a date because he felt pressured into it by Sam, Steve, and Grant. However, you weren't going to let his rejection damper your mood this week when you saw Grant. You spent most of his visit last week hiding in the back and didn't even emerge when you heard him ask Wanda where you were.
"Hey, you okay?" Wanda asked after she caught you zoned out again.
"Uh, yeah. Just tired." You forced out a chuckle.
"Is this about Bucky?"
You nodded sadly, knowing you'd never be able to lie to Wanda. The woman was a walking lie detector.
"I didn't know you were so into him. I thought it was just a crush." Wanda said softly.
"It was at first, but the more he came in and I got to know him, it just grew. And seeing him with Grant...he's such a great father."
Wanda rubbed her hand along the top of your back and smiled widely.
"Well, it's his loss. If he can't see how amazing you are, someone else will." She said with confidence.
"Thanks, Wanda. They'll be here in a few minutes, so I'm going to grab a few cookies for Grant."
"Do I make Bucky's coffee or wait?"
"Uh, just wait and see if he shows up." You responded.
You went to the back and placed one cookie on a plate and one in a box. Today's flavor was peanut butter and jelly and you were sure Grant would love it because he told you once that peanut butter and jelly sandwiches were his favorite. You grabbed the plate and the box and walked back out front just in time to see Steve walking in with Grant's hand in his. Sam trailed behind him...followed closely by Bucky.
Your steps faltered for a brief moment before you pushed yourself forward to the counter. Sam went straight to Wanda while Steve and Bucky walked Grant to the counter. Grant caught sight of you and jumped up and down as he grinned up at you.
"Y/n!" Grant squealed.
You smiled warmly at him and then glanced at Bucky. His eyes were locked on you and he had an unreadable expression on his face.
"Hey, kiddo. Hop on up, I've got your cookie and hot chocolate all ready."
Steve placed Grant on the counter. As soon as his butt hit the wood, he turned and held his arms out to you for a hug, causing you to giggle. You picked him up and held him close as his arms wrapped around your neck and his face snuggled into you. You chanced a glance at Bucky, who had the biggest smile you had ever seen, stretched across his face.
"Not that I don't appreciate the hug, but is everything okay?" You said, rubbing his back.
"Mhm. You were sad last week and I wanted to hug you, but you didn't come back. Hugs always make me feel better when I'm sad."
"He's been talking about hugging you all week." Bucky finally said.
"Do you feel happy now?" Grant asked, leaning back in your arms.
"I got to see you, so of course I'm happy." You said, smiling at him and then sitting him down on the counter. "Now, it's cookie time."
"Yay!" Grant cheered.
"It's peanut butter and jelly, just like your favorite sandwich. And, of course, your hot chocolate. Enjoy, munchkin."
You watched Grant devour the cookie in record time, leaving nothing but peanut butter cookie crumbs and jelly smeared across his face.
"How'd you know what his favorite sandwich is?" Steve asked.
You shrugged your shoulders and grabbed a towel to clean Grant's face.
"He told me not long after you guys started coming in."
"And you remembered?" Bucky asked, surprised.
"Of course."
"I'm her favorite little guy, daddy." Grant twisted around to grin at Bucky after you wiped the last of the sticky jelly from his face.
Bucky looked at Grant for a moment and then up to you with a soft smile. He had thought about his conversation with Mary all week. He still had his doubts after leaving her house, but in that moment he had never been more sure that he wanted you in his and Grant's life as more than the woman who served him coffee every Saturday.
"Hey, Y/n. Do you, uh, do you have a minute to talk?" Bucky asked, nervously.
"I, uh—"
His nervousness bled into you and suddenly the only thing you wanted was to run out of the building and get as far away as possible. You didn't want to hear his excuses or that he made a mistake in asking you to dinner. You fidgeted with the towel in your hand, trying to find a way out of this talk. Lucky for you, the front door opened and two women walked in.
"I would, but I have customers."
"That I can take care of." Wanda appeared at your side with a half smirk on her face. "Wanna learn how to make some lattes, Sam?"
"Sure do, sweet cheeks. You're free to have that talk now, Y/n." Sam stepped up beside Wanda and slung his arm over her shoulder.
"Ugh, I hate you both." You said under your breath and turned to Bucky. "I guess I am free. We can talk in the back."
"Great. Grant, stay with Uncle Steve, okay?"
"Come on pal, we'll go grab a seat until daddy is done." Steve grabbed Grant from the counter and took a seat off to the side.
Bucky walked around the counter and waited for you by the door to your kitchen area. You motioned for him to go first and then shut the door behind you. The tension was awkward and you stood propped against the door waiting for him to speak.
"First off, I'd like to apologize for not calling and for not coming in the past couple weeks." Bucky started. "Secondly, I am interested in you. I-I was just scared." His words came out in shaky breaths as he spoke.
"What are you scared of? That I don't actually like you, because I can tell you that I really did want to go out with you."
"No, it..." Bucky sighed heavily and let out another shaky breath. "My wife Katie died two years ago in a car accident. I was so in love with her and her death hit me really hard. When I met you and realized that I was beginning to have feelings for you, I felt this immense guilt. It felt like I was betraying her or trying to replace her, and it made it hard to move on."
"Bucky..." You pushed off the door and walked up to him, taking his hands in yours. "I would never try to replace her. No one could ever take the place of Grant's mom and you'll never love anyone the way you love her...and that's okay. But it doesn't mean that you should spend the rest of your life alone. I understand if you don't want to do this. I'm not going to lie and say I won't be disappointed, but I also understand your reasoning. With that said, please don't stop coming in on Saturdays if you decide not to chase those feelings. I'll have to find a new cookie tester if you stop bringing Grant in."
Bucky chuckled and you couldn't help but join in.
"Also, I may like seeing your face every week." You added.
"I like seeing yours, too." He softly smiled at you and you felt his thumbs rub over the backs of your hands. "Just to be clear, I do want to move forward with our date. I got some great advice and it helped me realize that Katie wouldn't expect me to go through life by myself. I need to open myself up to someone new and I'd like that someone to be you. So, would you please have dinner with me tonight, Y/n?"
Your cheeks heated and you felt your stomach flutter.
"I would love to." You whispered.
"Oh, thank God!" He said as if he had been holding his breath for your answer. "I've already made a reservation and secured a sitter for Grant. I wanted to be prepared just in case. I'm really glad you said yes. I'll pick you up at six?"
"That sounds perfect." You said, feeling breathless as the realization that you were actually going on a date with Bucky hit you straight in the chest.
"I'll see you then." Bucky winked at you and leaned down to peck you on the cheek before leaving the room.
You placed your hands on the nearest surface to brace yourself as you tried catching your breath. Even as your nervousness kicked into high gear, a grin spread across your face and a small laugh bubbled up your throat. In just a few hours you would be out on a date with Bucky after dreaming about that exact thing for the past year.
A/N: Looks like we got our date! Think he'll follow through?