Be sure you've read last chapter, "19. Bet,"
March 23, 2017
••••••
Kasim let out a breath as he held Lei's hand and walked into their mothers home, today he felt that he could handle facing her, and Lei had begged him to go and get her things with him so...here they were.
He held her favorite flowers in his hands, "ma?"
The house was silent, "mommy?" Lei called out.
Nothing looked out of order so they didn't have any red flags, "she's in the shower," they heard.
Kasim felt Lei squeeze his hand as they rounded the corner and stepped into the living room, the man by the name of Lamar had sat on the couch reading a newspaper drinking coffe. He saw them and stood, "my name is Lamar," he held his hand out for Kasim.
He made no moves to shake the man's hand, "my name is Lei," she shook his hand.
Lei hissed when Kasim snatched her hand out of his, "go grab what you need and make it fast,"
"Okay," she halfway smiled and headed up the stairs.
Studying the man, he looked clean and unlike most of the men his mother had went for in the past.
"Well, I'm going to start your mothers lunch, you're free to join me in the kitchen, get whatever it is off of your chest," Lamar smiled at him, he cleaned his area before making his way into the kitchen.
Kasim closed his eyes and refrained from punching the man's teeth out of his mouth, and he thought to the conversation he just had with Nala, Zuri and even Orion.
"If you go over there and fuck with that man unprovoked I'll really be disappointed in you, daddy," Zuri's voice rang through his head.
Nala's then sounded out, "If you speak to your mother disrespectfully or even her man, I won't talk to you and you know I mean it, I'm not saying go be friends or dismiss your feelings. Just talk with some sense, and remember she's a grown woman. You and Lei are no longer in her care so, what she does is on her, be respectful.."
He felt himself calming down and even chuckling at Orion's words, "beat the fuck outta that nigga and bitch if they disrespect you, if they don't, then just grab Lei shît and leave. Don't go starting shit, but, you know not to ever let a mothafucka' hit you or curse you again, don't look at me like that nigga' you know ion fuck' with Layla's ass,"
Which was true, Orion probably hated Layla more than Kasim felt a way about her. Once Orion got a bad taste in his mouth about you he'd probably never like you again, it wouldn't have mattered if a person had done a complete turn around, like Layla, he knew too much shit she's done and had let allow happen to Kasim that he'd never forgive her for.
Things that only he knew.
It was why Kasim' never checked Orion about how he talked about/viewed Layla. How he'd check anyone else who talked down on her.
Calmness washed over him and to his surprise he had walked into the kitchen, Lamar was moving around the kitchen cooking while listening to Luther Vandross.
"Are you and your sister staying for lunch? I can make enough for all of us,"
"Cut the small talk, why does a grown ass man need to stay with my mother? A nigga who didn't even meet her kids before doing so, being her teenaged daughter also stayed here? As a man, I wouldn't have even done no shit like that,"
Lamar nodded, "I couldn't force her to let me meet you two, she's been afraid of me being around. She knew you'd act this way, and then she also didn't want a man around Lei. Me moving here wasn't supposed to happen, I had a house fire not too long ago and lost everything, two kids included, so excuse me if I'm not going to take no disrespect from you that I wouldn't allow from my own kids. You don't have to like me, hell, you can hate me, your mother though? I love that woman, and she loves me. Do what you will with that information," he looked him into the eyes as he spoke, "don't come at me like some sucker ass leech youngin' I got Layla, the mortgage, and the bills."
Kasim stared at him for a while, they both had a stare down until Lamar spoke again, "I'd also like to have you and Lei accept me, but, if not then respect me how I'll respect you,"
"You not even searing the steak right old school'," Kasim washed his hands and stood beside him, "sorry about your loss, and I apologize for passing judgment on you so soon, you seem aight',"
Lamar smiled and watched him cook the steak, "your mother told me about the men she's used to, and her wrongdoings in life, she regrets alot and mostly things to do with you, I ain't here to interrupt y'all's bond, take over, or hurt her."
"Hurt her and I'll kill you," Kasim spoke, "regardless of anything that's my mother and I love her,"
They then heard footsteps, Kasim turned to face his mother. She looked happier than usual, and had even gained a little weight. Her smile was bright even though it looked like she had been crying, he went to ask what was wrong but he soon saw Lei round the corner with some of her things and she had tears in her eyes too, they must've had a talk.
"Hey ma," Kasim greeted and kissed her forehead, "you look beautiful,"
Layla smiled and hugged him, "thank you manman, I'm so happy to see you. Can we talk?"
"Not right now, soon though, I promise.." he grabbed her hands seeing her face fall, "I do want to apologize for the way I spoke to you and the things I had said to you out of anger, it wasn't right and it won't happen again. I never meant to disrespect you like that, I hope that you can forgive me,"
Kasim noticed Lei take over cooking and started to give Lamar orders, he was now not doing the asparagus right. Layla pulled Kasim to the side, and stared up into his eyes, "I'd like for you to sit on a therapy sesssion with me,"
"Why? I ain't into all that, you know that,"
"It's not for you to say anything, it's for me, and I would really like for you and Lei to come to my next session. I never really apologized for my wrongs, and I tackle you two next week, I'd like for you to sit in and listen, that's all. Please?"
He sighed, "I'll think about it okay? I just feel that we both know what' you've done to me, and others, so I don't see why I have to relive it.."
"You're not over your past, you love me as your mother but deep down I know you hate me, and I deserve it. I just...I just want to admit all my wrongs, and without a mediator I'll shut down,"
"I'll see," he assured her.
He had no plans on truly going, his past wasn't something he wanted to relive even from her point of view. Shît happened, he moved on. They were good now, he just wanted to leave good enough alone. Why must she disrupt all of the progress they had made over the years by opening old wounds?
"Also, I'm so sorry for letting my anger get the best of me and slapping you, I was wrong,"
Kasim nodded, "I deserved it,"
"You never deserved anything," she whispered and teared up.
••••••
After having lunch and getting to know Lamar better, Kasim had headed to the children's hospital. Chelsea had called him and Andrew at work and told them that Chloe would be getting released today, after being in there for the last few days and that the young girl wanted to meet her siblings, they decided to meet her at the hospital.
"You do know that Ashley, Amber and Asher are coming to see her too?" Andrew spoke, they had decided to ride together in the companies car. "I know how you feel about them,"
Kasim shrugged, "after that bland ass dinner I had with them yesterday—I guess I'll be open to seeing them. They didn't have to share their companies with Chloe, accept her, nor help Chelsea out. Hell, they didn't even have to add my name to get a percentage of what you all make—being I, of course, ended up with less than yall," he chuckled.
Dinner with his siblings had went as he expected—trifling, annoying, apologies, crying, etc.
"I told you that they were serious about bonding with you,"
"They could have been serious back when I was a teen, it is what it is,"
Andrew had nodded and sat back, "you found any other siblings as of yet?" Kasim asked.
"No, I haven't. I truly believe she's the last of us,"
"Good," they were parked in front of the hospital now, "please don't scare her off Drew' you're so pushy sometimes, let her breathe when we see her,"
The two got out and grabbed the gifts they had for her, they made it to the floor she was on and had knocked on the door.
Chelsea opened it and smiled at the two, "she's been nagging me, get on in here," she pulled them in.
Kasim felt his heart swell seeing Chloe, her hair was cut short and she had finger waves, her eyebrows seemed to be growing in, she had on lipgloss and small hoop earrings. Chloe sat in the middle of the bed and wrote in what seemed to have been a journal, she was beautiful. A splitting image of their father, meaning she looked just like Kasim as well. They were the only two who took after him, "my daddy was white or something?" She stared at Andrew.
Kasim chuckled, he faced Andrew who had turned red at the sudden question—another knock had sounded out throughout the room before anyone could answer, when the rest of the siblings piled in Chloe scrunched her face up.
"Fix your face sweetie," Chelsea sighed, "your father wasn't white,"
Chloe nodded, "but he has white kids?"
"We look like our mom," Ashley spoke up with a smile, "you and Kasim look like our dad,"
"Ohhhhh," the young girl nodded, "hi—my name is Chloe, and I was hoping I had siblings my age but I guess I'll be okay with what I have,"
They all laughed, "my name is Kasim, he stepped forward and handed her some Winnie the Pooh themed roses, he'd learned that it was her favorite character and cartoon growing up. "I'm the cool one, this is Andrew—our other cool brother..sometimes," he introduced.
She giggled and took the roses, "oh my gosh—these are so cute, thank you."
"I guess we don't get introduced?" Amber spoke up, Kasim rolled his eyes.
"Y'all ain't got mouths or something Amber?" Kasim faced her, "you run it for anything else,"
Amber gave him a tight lipped smile and scoffed, "as your older sister you should respect me you know?"
"As a nigga that don't give a fuck you should jump off a bridge," Kasim told her.
It was always Amber that started with him, she was such a daddies girl that she still had picked at Kasim here and there. Kasim had told her once before that she had one more time to start with him or he'd have somebody whoop her ass, "Hey!" Andrew stepped in, "it's not the time for this guys..."
Amber shrugged him off of her, "I was just saying, he doesn't even treat us like were related to him,"
"Y'all aren't," Kasim told her.
He focused back on Chloe who had mugged Amber, he then took a seat in the chair next to her bed.
The others introduced themselves and then they all had handed her things they had brung for her, Amber had made an excuse to leave not even ten minutes later—that was no surprise to anyone. Her standing in one spot as if anything would pop out and attack her had annoyed Kasim anyway, he didn't like the twins but he could definitely tolerate Ashley and Asher more than he could Amber. She was uppity, and had stank ass attitude. She acted like a replica of her mother at times, a piece of shit.
"So, you two are twins?" Chloe asked, Ashley and Asher nodded. "That's so cool—I was supposed to be one but my mommy said I ate them,"
Chelsea laughed, "that's not funny Chloe, I was really hurt by that."
"You only needed me anyway," Chloe smiled and blew her a kiss, "thank you guys for coming to see me, I'm getting tired now, when we get home maybe y'all could come over. Not Amber though,"
"Don't be that way," her mother scolded her.
"Yes ma'am," Chloe nodded, "you're my favorite," she weakly smiled at Kasim.
Everyone gasped making her giggle tiredly, her social bar was drained.
"You're my favorite too—don't let Lei hear that though, she'd probably fight us both," he whispered, she had asked Kasim more questions than she asked anybody and had the whole run down on his life.
"She'd fight a cancer patient?" Chloe asked.
Kasim nodded, "I'm pretty sure she will, especially since she now has to share me with you."
"Well, it's my turn now. She'll be okay,"
Kasim burst into laughter, "I'll be back to see you soon, use my number anytime. Get some rest little one," he kissed her forhead.
Her eyes fluttered closed, everyone else said their goodbyes and then headed out of the hospital.
••••••
Arriving home, Kasim couldn't wait to eat dinner, Zuri had cooked and put his plate up before her and Nala went on their one on one date. He was sure that the two wouldn't make it home until late, "hey Kasim," Ky greeted when he stepped into the home.
"Wassup Mr. Kasim,"
He and Kilo sat in the living room doing homework, "wassup Ky, what you two niggas been up to?"
Kylan smiled, "nothing much at all..."
Kasim eyed him, "Nala gone fuçk you up for getting high," he told him. Kylan's eyes widened.
"I—I'm not high,"
"Hmph," Kasim hummed, "I'll leave y'all to it, if you need anything don't ask me. It's my alone time, I don't give a fuck what you niggas do—just don't fuck my house up,"
The two teenagers laughed, "you're not going to snitch on me?" Kylan asked.
"Nah, as long as you're safe Ky' I really don't care, I was doing worse at your age. Besides, I really don't want your sister freaking out about something so small," he walked into the kitchen.
Orion stood at the counter on the phone, he walked behind him and glanced to see that Kane was on FaceTime. He bypassed him and headed for the microwave to warm his food up, "damn nigga—I ain't sleep with you last night," Orion faced him.
Kasim knew what he meant by not greeting him but he just smirked, "you could have, that's on you."
He turned and headed into the dining room hearing Kane let out a laugh, and then the phone hang up.
"When you gone grow the fuck up Kas?" Orion trailed behind him and took a seat across from him, "it's been three fucking' days."
Taking a bite of his pasta, Kasim swallowed before looking up to Orion and then looking back down.
"Bruh," Orion groaned, "you gone make me force you to talk to me? That's what you want?"
Once Orion figured he wasn't getting a answer he stood and left, Kasim finished his food.
He then washed his plate and headed up to his personal room—he decided to sleep there because he was exhausted and once his women came home he knew they'd probably use their shared room to enjoy eachother. He never wanted to intervene on their separate time, just like they wouldn't interfere when it was his turn with them separately.
It was only around eight but Kasim knew that he'd be sleep right after he showered and laid down, "wassup sweet baby?" he answered his ringing phone after turning his shower water on and striping from his work clothes.
"Hi daddy," Nala and both Zuri spoke, "we were checking to see how today went,"
"Good, besides Amber annoying ways.."
"You want me to beat her ass daddy?" Zuri asked, Kasim chuckled and propped the camera up, "oh—you about to slap the dick on the camera?"
Kasim laughed, "I'll let you know when she needs her ass beat Red," he assured her.
"Let me see you stroke it real quick,"
He shook his head, they were sitting in the car from what he could see. He grabbed the base of his dick and stroked it for her, "alright stop—I'm about to prop my legs up and play with it if you keep on," Zuri told him.
"Where y'all at man?" He stopped, and asked them.
"The drive-in," Nala answered him after a moment of silence, "are you being nice to my best friend today? He doesn't like to be ignored for long,"
Kasim stepped into the shower and sat his phone on the holder, "he'll be ignored as long as I feel like it,"
Nala giggled, "you two have fun while we're out then,"
"You know something I don't?" He asked while lathering himself up, "fûck was that mischievous laugh about?"
"Nothing daddy, the movie is about to start. Don't wait up for us," Nala told him.
They said their goodbyes and disconnected the call, he finished his nightly routine and then laid down.
It wasn't long before Kasim got into the bed and drifted off to sleep, he however knew he wouldn't sleep for long due to not being able to sleep without his ladies, and knowing they were out.
He had to make sure they were safe at all times, and wouldn't rest until they were.
••••••
It was now twelve at night, and Kasim had finally woke from his nap. He felt around for his phone, noticing a few messages from the chat he clicked the thread.
❤️ 3/3 ❤️
Zuri: we got too fucked up to drive so we just checked into the hotel next to the drive-in daddy.
Zuri: I love you.
Nala: I love you too, I think your woman is about to attack me. Pray for me daddy 🥹
Nala: Also, check on Orion and KyKy when you wake. For me please?
Zuri: girl, bring your ass out that bathroom and come get fucked.
I love y'all too, record for me?
He laughed at the text Zuri sent to Nala and stood, Kasim stretched and walked into his bathroom.
He washed his face and brushed his teeth again, slipping on his Versace robe and slippers that Zuri had got him. He headed out of his room to do what Nala asked of him, his first stop being Kylan's room.
Instead of barging in he knocked on the door, not sure if Kilo had spent the night or not. He wouldn't dare walk in on them doing anything, he'd probably throw up. "Come in," he heard.
Opening the door Kylan squinted one eye and blocked the light from the hallway with his left hand, "Nala just wanted me to check in on you, everything good?"
"Thank you for checking on me, I'm good."
Kasim nodded and closed the door behind himself, after that he headed to Orion's room.
His door was open, and not seeing him in bed Kasim walked in. He hadn't been in his room since he had moved in, he and Nala spent alot of time making it his, Kasim was impressed with the new layout.
He walked around until he spotted him on the balcony, sliding the door open he stepped out with him.
Orion looked up to him and then back out into the distance, "what's going on?"
"You talking to me now?" Orion asked.
"You hear me speaking don't you?"
A chuckle escaped Orion's mouth, "stop testin' me Kas, aight?"
"If I don't?"
In one swift motion Orion had gripped Kasim by his robe and pulled him over to him, the move had caught Kasim off guard, his breathing sped up. Orion held direct eye contact, "I'll give you what you've been asking for," Orion told him. "That's what you want? Don't let that shit you pulled in the kitchen make you feel you've done something,"
"What is it that I've been asking for?" Kasim asked, his voice low.
Orion smirked, "I'd show you if my company wasn't on the way," he let him go.
Kasim stumbled back a bit.
Company?
"That nigga coming over here?" He asked.
"That nigga has a name, and yeah—you did say that you ain't give a fuck about what I did remember?"
He let out a laugh, "I don't,"
"So you wouldn't mind him stopping by for a couple hours,"
The way Orion smirked at him had Kasim boiling on the inside, "you about to fuck him?"
Orion ignored him, "is it because I was ignoring you?"
Orion walked into his room and into his bathroom, Kasim followed him. He averted his eyes once Orion began to remove his clothing, turn on the shower, and begin to brush his teeth. "Ori?"
"Hm?"
"I don't want that nigga here,"
"He won't be here long, don't trip."
Kasim's jaw clenched, "you about to piss me the fuck off,"
"Like you've been pissing me off?" Orion shrugged, "I'm tired of this shit with you, you want to ignore me for days then try and dictate when my nigga can and can't come over here,"
"I've been upfront about how I feel this entire time, it's you that's making shit hard Orion."
Orion sighed, "I don't know how to express myself Kasim, you know that. So don't do me like that,"
"Then how about you start? I'm not a simple ass nigga that's going to take a weak ass sorry and be cool after you disrespect me,"
"What the fuçk else you wanted me to say then Kasim? That's the best I could do bro,"
He finished brushing his teeth and washing his face, Standing to look at Kasim.
Kasim noticed that Orion was getting frustrated, the vein in forehead had popped out each time he furrowed his eyebrows, he sighed and decided to stop yelling before he caused him to go into a episode. "Orion, I'm not trying to upset you. You're getting frustrated,"
"I'm just trying to tell you that you don't have to be so hardbody anymore, I know you're used to being the protector and problem solver but you ain't got to be so tough around me, I'm not the scary little weak nigga I used to be, so, you don't have to show your dominance around me," Kasim spoke softly, "it's cool that you snapped out, and the apology was cool too but for me—I want you to explain why? I can't fix what's bothering you about me if you can't express yourself in a way that I can understand,"
He watched Orion close his eyes and his breathing become steady, "why'd you cut me off all those years ago Kasim? Other than the same bullshit you keep telling us, be honest with me,"
Kasim avoided eye contact, "you know why.."
"I wouldn't have fucked him if I had knew you felt something for me, why couldn't you have just said something? I'm so fuçking emotionally frustrated because of you, I thought that being around you again would be cool but it's not. The shit is hard when shit wasn't one sided back then, I fucking told you I was bisexual and that I had feelings for you, you....you left me there that night and didn't reach out for weeks," Orion teared up, "then when you do pop in you see me with him and fuçking fight me, you don't think that shit hurt me? All I got was a fuçking sorry ass apology years later and you bitching about my apology to you, atleast I didn't take ten fuçkin' years to do so,"
Kasim dropped his head, "nah nigga—look at me when I'm talking to you, this what you wanted right? A in depth ass speech?"
"Stop coming at me like that,"
"You heard what I said, look at me," Orion repeated, Kasim still locked his eyes on the floor. His slippers had suddenly became interesting. "Kasim,"
Just like on the balcony Orion had grabbed him by his robe, this time he forcefully snatched his face into his hands. His eyes were darker than before, "Orion—"
"Shut the fuck up, I'm talkin' and you gone fuçkin' look at me while I am,"
Kasim went to say something but he couldn't, he simply nodded his head. Orion stared at him for a while to read him it seemed, and then he let him go. Kasim rubbed his jaw and gave Orion his full attention, Kasim's jaw was clenched and his arms were now folded across his chest. If you looked close enough he was pouting, "stop being a brat'," Orion mumbled.
"I'm not," he rolled his eyes.
Orion chuckled at him, "why'd you show up that week and fight both of us? I don't want that lame ass you don't know what kind of feelings you had for me speech, I want the truth..."
Letting out a deep breath, Kasim took a seat in the chair that sat next to the full body mirror. Orion had turned the shower off and sat on the counter, they were facing eachother. It was silent for a while, "you confessed to me about falling for me right after I told you what Celine had done to me...I never told you why my fathers side of the family left me alone with her.."
"I'm listening," Orion reassured him.
Kasim swallowed hard, "I was in my room talking on the phone with my mom, by this time I was figuring out that I was attracted to you and had grown feelings for you. I was 'coming out' to her, I guess you could say. My grandparents must've overheard me," he chuckled, "I remember them calling all of our family over there and they called me just about any name in the book, and that night I called Celine to come get me, I was hurt, I was expecting Kasir to finally step up but he never showed when I reached out. Celine was, um, she was always so nice to me, she helped me through hard days you know?"
Tears pooled in his eyes, "the night I went to her she held me, consoled me—she offered me a drink. I was a kid, so I was dumb. I drunk it, she handed me another and asked me if I was feeling better. I felt nothing, I was there but it felt like I was paralyzed. The bitch drugged me, and she had sex with me. You knew the basics, I never told you that after she was done she got a call, I heard everything..." he choked up, "my father had asked if it had worked, meaning if I had got an erection for her..." he wiped at his eyes bitterly.
"The next day I went back to my grandparents home, they had a fuçkin' party because I had finally had sex and it was with a woman. As stupid as it sounded and how disgusting I felt, that was the first time in a long time I had felt loved, I wanted to please them. Only for me to see you and you hit me with that shit, I was fucking' annoyed with you, just when I felt like I had true chance at a family, you...you confess to me what I was feeling all along,"
He took a deep breath and wiped at his eyes, "for weeks I was mentally exhausted—when I finally got the courage to tell you I felt the same you were fuçkin' the nigga that was our friend. That shît hurt me, everything hit me at once. I never meant to physically hurt you Orion, I do apologize for that. I apologize for everything, I wish shit was different back then, for these last ten years...I miss you so fuçkin' much."
By this point he was sobbing, he soon felt Orion arms around him. His head was rested on his bare stomach while Orion held him, "I'm sorry too, I lashed out because being around you again is bringing out all of those feelings I tried to get rid of over the years, I thought I was over you. Truth is I'm not, and I'm not sure how to feel about that because you have Nala and Zuri now, I can't hurt Nala like that. Not even Zuri, y'all all are perfect for eachother,"
Kasim sniffled, "yeah I know—I ain't going to hurt them like that either, it just felt good to get that off of my chest. I don't want to clash heads anymore,"
Orion lifted Kasim's head and wiped underneath his eyes with his thumbs, "with that being said—you can't stop my happiness Kasim,"
"I know, he can come over Orion. Im just not faking cool with that nigga,"
Orion chuckled, "don't expect him to fake it with you either, as long as y'all ain't disrespecting eachother."
Kasim nodded, "aight—get your dick out my face now."
"It could always go in your mouth,"
Sucking his teeth Kasim pushed him back and stood, "it could've—but, he on the way right?"
He watched Orion's eyes widen, "you dead ass?"
Kasim smirked and headed out of the bathroom, "Enjoy your company,"
••••••
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