~Carmen's POV~
My arms and back ache from moving so many boxes into Spencer's and my new house. Of course I've had the help of Emma, Spencer, my parents, and the entire BAU team, but it doesn't make the boxes lighter or the work easier.
I sit on the end of the moving van with Morgan and Emma and stuff my face with a subway sandwich.
"Easy there, tiger. You could choke." Morgan says and laughs at me.
"Shut up." I reply around my mouthful. It's quiet for a second except for the sound of boxes scraping against the pavement and people breathing heavily. "Hey Em, how are my parents treating you?" I ask, breaking the silence.
"Their really nice, but I'd rather be spending my limited time here with my best friend." She replies.
"Wait a second." Morgan cuts in. "Are you saying that Emma is living at your parents house while you get everything ready for the wedding, then you're going to get married and go on your honeymoon and... Then what?" He asks and I realize where I went wrong.
"Then... Emma goes back to London." I whisper, realizing the fate that I had chosen for Emma, without her consent.
"And how long until the wedding?" He asks, confusion still written across his face.
"Three days. One for girls night, one for the bachelorette party, and one for getting everything ready for the honeymoon."
"Okay... So when is Em here flying back to France?"
"London." She corrects. "The day after Carmen flies out on her honeymoon."
"That's it." Morgan finishes, shaking his head. "Nope. I'm taking care of everything. You too spend time with each other, all you have to take care of is the bachelorette party. I'll make sure everything else works out." He says and my mouth drops open. Wait, what?!
"No, Morgan. really I can handle--"
"No, really. Go spend time with Emma. We got it here." I sigh and hug Morgan.
"You break anything and I swear I'll--"
"Okay, okay. Bye Carmen." He says pushing me toward my car. Emma follows me and I tell her to wait in the car, I'll be there in a second.
I walk over to where Spencer is sitting alone and sit next to him. "Hey babe." I sigh, half from exhaustion and half from all the stress.
"What's wrong?" Spencer asks, wrapping his arms around my waist.
"Nothing, I'm fine, just stressed is all." I say, brushing it off.
"Are you sure?" He questions and I lean against him for support, subconsciously rubbing my temples.
"Yeah, except for this killer migraine I've been having lately." I admit, cringing at the constant throbbing of my head.
"Oh, I'm sorry, do you need something?" He asks, rubbing my back.
"No, I'm fine. Maybe just some painkiller and a--" I'm cut off by many cell phones ringing simultaneously. A case. Great.
"Sorry to bug you on your day off guys." Garcia says when I pick up. Apparently she's managed to get all of us in a joint phone call, so there's a lot of background noise.
"What do you need Baby Girl?" Morgan asks and I smile at them.
"I just got a call informing us to get to Tyson's Corner Center Mall here in Virginia ASAP, there's been some vandalism and petty theft."
"Um," I say, confused. "No offense Garcia, but you're calling us into work because of petty theft?" I ask, still rubbing my head.
"You didn't let me finish. The local police also found the remains of James Cooper at the base of the vandalism." I hang up my phone and run to my car before anyone else even gets off the phone, wanting to be alone.
I sigh and sit in the drivers seat. "I'm so sorry Emma. You gotta stay here with my parents, we just got a case." I say and lay my head against the back of the seat, clutching my head.
"Okay. Feel better soon? Fix..." She waves her hands toward my head. "That."
"Thanks for understanding Em." I say and she gets out to greet my parents again, Spencer taking her place in the passenger seat.
"Do you want me to drive?" He asks when he sees me clutching my head.
"Maybe so, I'm going to lay down in the back seat." I reply, easing my way out of the car.
~•~•~•~•~
When we get to the mall and the crime scene, I see writing on the wall in spray paint and the words:
Those who are dead, are not dead
They're just living in my head
And since I fell for that spell
I am living there as well
"Okay... Seems harmless." I say, confused. "Why did they chose those lyrics?"
"Lyrics?" Morgan asks.
"Yeah, it's 42 by Coldplay." I answer, staring at the deep blue paint. "Also why would they chose blue? Blue is often associated with depth and stability. It symbolizes trust, loyalty, wisdom, confidence, intelligence, faith, truth, and heaven... Why would they chose such a tranquil color after they kill someone? Speaking of, why were there no witnesses?" I demand, grasping the side of my head. It's only Morgan and I from the BAU here at the crime scene and he comes over to me.
"Carmen? What is with you? Calm down." He reaches for me in a comforting gesture, but I back up against the wall and slide down it, sitting with my knees pulled to my chest. I wrap my arms around my legs and shudder when Morgan crouches down next to me. "Carmen?"
"Yeah?" I say hesitantly.
"It's okay, just tell me what's wrong." I take a shaky breath and lean my head against the wall, gently placing my fingers on my temples.
"I-- I just have a really bad--" I take another raspy breath and try to continue. "Headache. It's hard to breath." I choke out. "The room-- it's wobbling."
Morgan moves to my side quickly and gently pushes my head between my knees. "Carmen, just breath. It's okay, I'm right here, breath." I try to but I feel like the room is getting smaller and smaller.
~•~•~•~•~
I wake up with my head in Morgan's lap and a killer headache - still. He's stoking my hair with his back against the wall. "What happened?" I ask, trying to sit up. He pulls me back down. "Nah nah nah. Come here." He says soothingly. "It's alright."
"Morgan. What happened?" I demand.
"You freaked and started thrashing around. Eventually you just passed out, what was that about anyway?" He asks and realization strikes.
"Ah crud." I moan, trying to get up. "I realized something. My parents used to take in foster care kids and some of the kids would get into trouble. I realized that they might have used blue spray paint because that's the only color they could find."
"So your saying its a foster kid?" He questions, helping me to a sitting position.
"Not necessarily, but the fact that they used song lyrics could mean it's a teen. Also, they probably killed the guy at night to limit the witnesses, or just dumped the body first thing when the mall opened."
"Okay... That explains everything except the freaking out."
"What freaking out?" I ask, checking the body to see if it looks like a rampage. "The killer's?"
"No, Carmen." He responds. "Yours."
"Oh" I say quietly. "I've just had this headache for awhile and I felt like the walls where closing in, I don't know..." I say slowly. "It's probably nothing."
"Come on Carmen, don't do that to me." He says calmly. Do what? "What other symptoms have you been having?"
"Symptoms of what Derek? I have no idea what your talking about!" I say, exasperated.
"Just tell me what's different than normal." I sigh but think back to when I was feeling out of it earlier today.
"Well..." I say after a pause. "I've had this consistent headache for the past couple of days, I ache all over really. Um... I've been dizzy a couple times, kinda nauseous. I've had mood swings like crazy... And, I don't know, okay? Smells set me off sometimes too." I say with a huff.
"And you're sure your not pregnant?"
"Morgan!" I shout.
"What? Just asking." He says, a smile tugging at his lips.
"You suck. I'm positive that I'm not pregnant, okay? Gosh."
"Well the only other thing that I can think of that could trigger a reaction like that is PTSD." My breath catches in my throat as I process what he's saying.
"Morgan." I say, my heart racing. "I already struggle with this job as it is, a lot has happened since I got to the BAU. I can't have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder on top of it all."
"Carmen." He says, putting a hand on my shoulder. "That's just it, sweetheart. 'A lot has happened since you got here' it's been stressful, I get it, you--"
"No you don't, Morgan. All of the agents here went through stressful things within the first couple months of working at the BAU. Every single one of them pulled through. Every. One. And I can't even make it through my second month, Morgan. I don't--"
"Hey." Morgan interrupts. "Don't do that to yourself."
"Morgan!" I scream, drawing the attention of everyone in the mall. "Stop. I ju-- I can't do this. I can't anymore. I'm not like you guys, okay? I'm not as-- as smart as Reid, not as controlled as Hotch... Not as understanding as JJ. I don't think I can handle the BAU, Morgan." I sob. "You were right. I'm Elle."
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Hey guys. Thoughts on the chapter?
SUPER SORRY FOR NOT UPDATING!
I'm usually pretty good about updating but I've had a really bad headache for a couple weeks now and it's getting in the way of my writing. I promise it won't happen again, I'll push through being sick. Why? Because I LOVE you guys!!!
Comment what you think will happen and what you thought of the chapter.
Do you think Carmen will leave the BAU? How do you think Reid will react? Morgan? See you next time!!
(Soon I promise)