I wait for him to freshen up a bit by the table. I'm starting to get bored, so I begin fidgeting with everything I come across. Books, documents, kitchen appliances, whatever. He's finally coming, and I know so, because I could smell him from a kilometre away.
"Is that amount of cologne absolutely necessary?" I ask, covering my nose.
"Is it too much?" He giggles. "Let's go outside. The smell will wear off."
We make our way to his car again. I'm feeling more and more uncomfortable. This really does seem like a date. Did he arrange it like that by accident?
"You're not going to drive me to the middle of the woods and kill me, are you?" I joke.
He seems genuinely disturbed. "What?"
"Just... eh, nevermind."
He's so dumb, and stupid, and awkward, and I just can't deal with him... but at least he clings to me. It's better than nothing.
We drive away, and my coworker tries to explain where he's taking me. First we'll grab something to eat, and next, we'll go to a park. At least, that's what I understood. He's talking really quietly, out of a sudden.
It's his treat again, and I'm beginning to think that he really cares about me. He probably just wants to impress me, but it's a comforting thought nonetheless.
It's a selfish thought.
We get sandwiches at a café, and drive away, in the direction of the park. Honestly, I thought he hated nature. But, apparently, he's fine with going there with me.
"You mentioned you wanted to talk to me about something." I recall the time he panicked in the office.
"It seriously wasn't important," he states. Curiosity is killing me, but I give up in the end. If he doesn't want to tell me, I won't force him.
The drive takes a while. I'm staring outside through the window, not really trying to start a conversation.
"Purely hypothetically," he starts, and I turn around, "if I were a woman, would you date me?"
This is so sudden, I almost choke on my saliva, and start coughing. "I have no idea." I respond, quickly.
"How come?"
"I guess it depends on if you'd ever consider me in the first place."
"Let's say I would."
I clasp my hands together. "Eh, I guess I would too, then."
He's got to stop being so random. I seriously don't know what to think of him.
"What about you?" I ask.
"W-What?"
"Would you date yourself?"
"Oh. No."
So he asks me if I'd date him, but he wouldn't date himself? What in the world is it with this dude...
We get at our destination, and he pulls me out of the car and drags me towards the entrance to the giant forest. I suppose there are hills, rivers and tall trees here, like in any forest. I act nonchalant, but I'm quite excited.
It's a public park, so it doesn't cost us anything. That's one thing that relieves me entirely.
We walk calmly at first, but I keep speeding up my pace. "Have you ever been to a park like this?" I ask.
"Well, no. What about you?" He smiles. I can't deny that his smile really is wholesome.
"I used to go to places like this."
We approach a grassy crossing, where the leaves on the trees are so thick that there's barely any sunlight. I see a few bushy trails I could possibly navigate through, and hear water in one of the available directions.
I get one, mischievious, disgustingly evil idea.
I poke my coworker's hip and run to the bushes. "Tag, you're it!"
"Hey!" He follows behind me, but he's just way too uncoordinated in the sticks and branches, and thus, way too slow to get me. I hide behind a tree and listen closely to his struggles.
"Hurry up, dude!" I encourage him. When he's almost freed from the bushes, I hide again. He can run fairly quickly, but he's way too stiff to wiggle through the dense parts of the woods.
I'm getting closer to the body of water. There are no rocks to jump on to get to the other side. Should I just walk through, or find a different passage?
"Is this absolutely necessary?!" I hear my coworker's distant and cranky voice.
I laugh. "Yeah! Otherwise, you'll never get used to mother nature!"
I eventually decide to walk parallel to the river, looking for a bunch of rocks. There are a few acceptably large ones, and I get to parcour to the other side.
I run back to the place I was at before, and at the same time, my coworker gets there too.
"Are you going to come to the other side?" I mock.
He grunts, and to my surprise, steps into the water without hesitation. I urgently start climbing the nearest tree, but he gets to me too fast and pulls me down, pinning me to the tree by the waist and half-hugging me. "I got you!"
"Yeheheh, good job." I smile dumbly. "But, wouldn't that make me it?"
He releases me and backs away. "Do we seriously have to continue?"
I turn around to him and slowly approach him. "Not if you tire me out," I pant.
He charges straight into the trees, and takes a clear path, so he can actually overtake me, without getting tangled up in the weeds.
I run after him, and we get to a rocky hill. He clumsily, yet swiftly, climbs up, almost slipping a few times on the way. By the time he's on top, he doesn't have any energy left in him. All I have to do is give him a little push so he falls over, but I accidentally collapse onto him too.
We're both cracking up, and breathing vigorously like our lives depend on it. Miraculously, my glasses are still on my face, but barely. My head is on his chest, and my legs are in his lap.
I try to move away, but he restrains me by putting his arms around my torso, presumably hugging me. Normally, I'd feel in danger, but this time, it's really comforting.
I hug him back, and snuggle in his shirt.
His heart is beating incredibly fast at first, but it slows down gradually. Mine matches its pace.
He gently strokes my back with his fingers. It's sending my mind into a fog.
All of this just feels so... weird. I don't know how to describe it, but... I don't want this to end. I really don't.
✂