season 4 episode 15 - 17
veronica was pretty sure that everyone she knew was spiralling. meredith was trying to quit therapy, cristina was cleaning and izzie was acting really weird.
and apparently their latest trial patient had a fake boyfriend. she met him on a cruise at the same time that her symptoms began. veronica wanted to believe that she wasn't hallucinating a boyfriend and that andre was real, but there as a lot to suggest he wasn't.
plus walter tapley, a world famous cardiothoracic surgeon was visiting the hospital. apparently the chief learnt under him. george was guarding a door where he was obviously behind and was lying to everyone about it.
callie tried to tell her and meredith that cristina wasn't doing well. she didn't want to meet walter tapley.
"that's fucking stupid," ronnie exclaimed. "sorry. that's bad."
"thank you sunshine."
"anytime cristina."
callie got frustrated with the situation and left.
"are you in a dark place?" ronnie asked.
"yeah."
"so am i," meredith admitted.
they looked a veronica expectantly, "yeah, i'm okay. which is weird, it feels like somethings gonna go wrong and soon."
"don't put that out into the universe," meredith scolded.
---
"how do i do a central line?" lexie asked. "cristina assigned it to me when you assigned me to be the intern on tapley. i've never done one."
veronica frowned, "lexie, you know how to do a central line. i've shown you on a dummy. but since it's tapley, i'll supervise but you're taking charge."
"okay, yeah, i can do that."
"you sound super confident right now," veronica deadpanned.
lexie did exactly what veronica had taught her, the entire thing going smoothly and even earning her some praise from tapley. once they left (when the chief asked them to).
"see, lex. you did great, you're a good intern," veronica praised.
"thanks."
---
veronica couldn't deal with cristina at that moment, she was being overly mean. she appreciated the woman was in a bad place because of burke but she was beginning to take it out on others and veronica didn't like it. it was undeserved. she instead sat alone, book in hand as she ate her lunch.
mark sat down next to her.
"i'm not sleeping with you at work," she quipped.
he chuckled, "no, no. we're gonna sit and enjoy a meal together. i turned over a new leaf. from now on, if you want this-" he pointed downwards. "you're gonna get this too." he pointed to his head.
veronica smiled, "we like talk after every round. how else do i know you secretly love lilo and stitch? or that you love cheesecake?"
"so why arent you sitting with the other two?" he asked, taking a bite of his food.
she shrugged, placing her book down, "cristina's being meaner than usual and i don't want to end up in her line of fire."
lexie sat down at that moment, "cristina said meredith thinks i'm annoying and the worst thing that's happened to her in months. apparently she hates me."
veronica gestured to lexie, "told you, cristina's being meaner than usual because of the burke thing." she wrapped an arm around lexie. "if it helps i don't hate you. in fact you're one of my favourites, my little lexipedia."
she grabbed a fry off of ronnie's plate, "thanks. sorry for interrupting your flirting."
veronica rolled her eyes, "we weren't flirting. it was just a conversation."
---
lexie confronted meredith and even stood up to cristina. it was a big day for the girl and they celebrated with a drink. one that ended with veronica making sure she got home safe before she ended up with mark.
the pair were lying in his bed, cheesecake (which veronica had been craving since they spoke about it) in front of them as lilo and stitch played over the screen.
mark glanced down at veronica, who was barely keeping her eyes open. he waited for her to fall asleep before turning the movie off and lying next to her.
---
the trials weren't working. they weren't and veronica wanted to give up. they were going to die anyway, she knew that but she wanted the thing to end. it was her fault. they were her notes. they were her theories. she was the reason these people were dying.
and meredith and cristina were in a dark place no matter what she tried to do. so, she stopped trying. she sat with them. meredith was nowhere near as bad. so, she put down her book and grabbed the pager sitting by her.
"fine. do you want the sparkle pager," veronica offered.
cristina threw the covers off and sat up, "that's not funny."
"you're sad. actually sad," veronica began. "do you know how i know it's the right thing to do to give you the sparkle pager? because you're so sad you're not actually asking for it. i'm actually scared for you." she handed the pager over. "shiny shiny pager and lots of shiny shiny surgeries. enjoy."
she picked her book back up as meredith stared at her, "you never offered me the pager."
she shrugged."you're in therapy. that's enough."
"if i were the kind of person who kissed people, i would kiss you," cristina told.
veronica continued to read, "i'm getting enough action without you, but thanks cristina, i appreciate it."
"you know what else would make me feel better?"
"i'm not telling you who it is."
"c'mon sunshine!"
"go to sleep."
---
alex asked veronica to cover his post-ops because he was staying behind with rebecca. the same rebecca who thought she was pregnant and was convinced when told she wasn't, that she had miscarried. alex had gone into her room in the dead of night and told her everything a few days prior. it was safe to say she barely slept after that because she was beyond worried about him and her.
and she was still worried.
and she had a reason to be because according to izzie, rebecca was crazy (not that veronica liked that term as rebecca was obviously going through a lot).
---
the trauma that was coming in, the one that cristina and veronica were put on was a boy stuck in concrete. meredith had taken over veronica's role in the trials, after veronica decided she only wanted to be on the theory side of it, not the actually injecting.
veronica wanted to comfort him as best she could when his small voice asked for them to 'help me'. he was just a scared child that was dared to lie in concrete on a construction site by people who claimed to not really be his friend.
and the not really friends were dicks. veronica was with callie as she questioned them, getting more and more angry.
"congrats, you may go down for manslaughter, dumbasses," veronica hissed, storming out. callie followed her. "i'm sorry-"
"no, don't apologise. they're bitches. they deserved that. i won't tell if you don't," callie reassured.
"deal."
"jennings," bailey yelled. "i need you to comfort that boy. the cement is leaching the water out of his body, we need him to not cry. you're good at making people not cry."
"thanks. i'm on it." she entered the room, seeing how scared the boy looked. "hi. i'm doctor jennings but i prefer veronica or ronnie. what's your name?"
"andrew."
"hi andrew." she glanced to the side to see the others in the room next to them, arguing over where to start. "so, you have shitty friends."
"tell me about it."
"so, outside of trespassing, what do you like to do?" she asked. he didn't reply. "fine, i'll start. i love reading. i read literally anything. and i love eating takeout and watching shitty movies."
"i like comic books."
"oh, what kind? superhero?"
"yeah."
"who's your favourite?"
"iron man."
"mines black widow. although i guess she's kinda an anti-hero," she replied. "what about movies?"
"i like star wars."
"you're a right nerd," veronica laughed. "and that's not a bad thing. listen, andrew, they're gonna have to chip away at the cement soon, and i want you to stay as calm as possible, okay? we have some of the best brains working on you."
"okay."
eventually, everyone began their work, veronica monitored his heart as they worked and he told them about how he went into the cement to impress lola.
"i'm gonna die in some bad email forward," he told.
"hey. we all mess up, andrew," veronica assured.
"i'm the guy who died in a block of cement trying to impress a girl. i'm like han solo." veronica watched him talk, not saying anything. "in star wars? he was encased in carbonite."
veronica chuckled lightly, "did he die?"
"no."
"there you go then."
he continued to ramble on about how stupid he'd been. eventually, raising his heartrate. veronica knew this was bad, so she stood.
"that's enough. han solo is not a loser. han solo got encase in carbonite and that was a big mess but that's not what he's remembered for. he's remembered as the guy who made the kessel run in less than twelve parsecs and who braved the sub-zero temperatures of the ice planet both in order to save someone he cared about from the big, ugly wampa.
"he's remembered as the guy who swooped down at the last minute, blasted darth vader out of the sky so that luke could use the force and destroy the death star, okay? princess leia saved him from the carbonite and they fell in love and they saved the universe and had twin jedi babies that went on to save the universe again. the carbonite is just a piece of the picture.
"han solo is not a loser and neither are you."
he smiled, "you're kind of a nerd."
"like i said. it's not a bad thing," she quipped. she glanced around to see everyone staring at her. "i like science fiction, leave me alone."
---
"oh my god," veronica muttered, standing up. she left the room to find the other doctors. "his bladder. we've been pumping him full of fluids and-" she took a breath. "if we don't get a catheter in his bladder will explode."
---
veronica refused to tell andrew that lola didn't want to come and hold his hand as they removed the final bits of concrete. and let him ramble about an almost kiss between the pair as they prepared to remove the final piece.
bailed had to inform him that he may go into crush syndrome and crash. veronica held his hand as she spoke.
"will you be there?" he asked, glancing to veronica.
"the whole time," she swore.
they removed the final pieces and she prepared to help move him. she began compressions when they did. she stayed for the entire surgery, assisting hanh and then bailey. she took a break in between as cristina took over a part of the surgery as he began to go into v-fib.
"the breaks are for sitting," mark told as she watched cristina work.
she shrugged, "i can't- he was encased in cement because of a girl that's so wrapped up in what others think of her she won't even admit her feelings."
mark didn't say anything but instead spent his break standing with her.
---
andrew was alive. and callie had convinced lola to go and see him. and meredith told veronica that the tumour in one of their patients was shrinking. and she'd woken up. the viral formula, the latest one that veronica had helped them create worked.
she was sat alone, not wanting to interrupt the celebration between meredith and derek as they were the ones doing the surgery, she was just the brains.
"i read your file," a voice interrupted.
veronica sat up, lexie in front of her, "oh."
"i didn't- i started reading and i couldn't stop and i have a photographic memory so even if i wanted to forget it i couldn't," she rambled. "so i know about the cancer and your dad and mom and-"
"literally everything," veronica finished. "why the fuck is that in my file?"
"i hope there isn't more," she muttered. "and apparently because of a psch eval you had to have."
"i forgot about that. stupid college professor blabbing."
"i'm sorry. i didn't mean to-"
veronica sighed, running a hand down her face, "it's fine. i just don't really advertise this shit. makes people look at me like you are right now."
"sorry-"
"stop apologising. it's happened. it's all in the past."
---
alex was crying in veronica's room when she got home. and she had a feeling it was to do with rebecca, the same woman who was admitted because she slit her own wrists.
"alex," veronica sighed, throwing her bag down. she pulled him into a hug. "alex. talk to me."
"rebecca, she-" he cried. "i was gonna look after her. like i did before. i was a boy then and i'm a man now so i could have-"
veronica shushed him, stroking his hair.
"you were a child, you should have never had to look after anyone. and even now, you shouldn't have to," she told. "the weight of another person's wellbeing should never be completely on your shoulders."
she placed a kiss on his temple as he cried.
"cry as much as you need to," she whispered, rocking him slightly as he did. "i'm here."
a/n this is unedited but i also haven't updated in five months so i wanted to get this out as soon as i could. but this is the end of season 4, enjoy x