Fantasia's POV
I honestly wanted to fight Taraji, I was so mad at her, and I probably would have if I wasn't carrying my baby boy. I laid my heart and soul out on a platter for her, just for her to turn around and tell me that there's someone else. I knew there had to be another woman in the picture for her to he acting so nonchalant about my pregnancy. I don't even need to know the woman to know that she's not fucking Taraji the way I used to. I don't need to know this other woman to know that she can't drive Taraji crazy like I can. Some people call it insanity, but I call it passion. Taraji and I have passion. It's easy to pull the light out of someone, but once you've found the one person who can awaken the darkest, most destructive parts of yourself, you know that you've found your soulmate. Maybe I am addicted to the toxicity that we manifest, but it's the passion that I'm chasing. She was trying to leave the bar, but I blocked the door.
Taraji: You can move or I can move you. Pick one.
Fantasia: Don't tempt me with a good time, baby. All this aggression you have for me is just sexual tension, but I can help you take care of that.
Taraji: There's nothing to take care of.
Fantasia: I bet your pussy is crying right now. I know my singing voice makes you wet. You gone go home and masturbate, ain't you?
Taraji: Yeah and I'll FaceTime my girlfriend when I do it.
Fantasia: Stop fucking playing with me Taraji.
Taraji: No you stop playing with me! I already told you what it is, so move.
Fantasia: Move me. You could if you really wanted to, but you don't. The reason why you're still standing here is because you still want me. I believe you like to fight. Walking away is too easy for you. That's why you're standing here arguing with me. Me and you are one and the same, that's why you can't stay away from me. I just clocked your tea, didn't I?
I could tell by the look in her eyes that I had her figured all the way out, and the idea of me being so confident in my assessment of her made her uncomfortable. She looks so pretty when she gets that look on her face- that look of anger and wonder.
Taraji: Why do you want to drive me crazy so badly?
Fantasia: Because if I can drive you crazy then it means that you still care.
Taraji: I never stopped caring. I just have to care from a distance now. Things will never be right between us because the whole situation is wrong, and I can't sit around and wait for you to get your shit together. I'm still trying to get my own shit together, and this new woman in my life is helping me with that. I don't need her to, but she's trying anyway, and I like having her around.
Fantasia: Who is she?
Taraji: The nurse who took care of me. Her name is Brandee.
As scorned as I was by the revelation, all I could do was laugh. Taraji was staring at me like I had grown a 2nd head. Here she goes again, getting too attached too fast to anyone who shows her an ounce of compassion. I guess old habits die hard. How can she judge me for being stuck in the same place when she's still practicing the same behavior that hurt our relationship the first time around?
Taraji: What's so funny?
Fantasia: Nothing, Taraji. Nothing at all.
Taraji: No, tell me.
Fantasia: You haven't changed a bit. That's all.
Taraji: I've grown a lot. You can't take that away from me.
Fantasia: Unless the definition of growth suddenly changed to stagnancy, then no Taraji, you haven't grown. You don't love that girl, you love what she does for you. She took care of you at your lowest moment, so you feel like you owe her something, but you don't.
Taraji: It's not like that with her. We were friends first.
Fantasia: So were we.
These damn pregnancy hormones are really fucking with me, because before I knew it, I was breaking down into tears. I was crying so hard that I had to cover my face to save myself from embarrassment. I was shocked when I felt Taraji's arms wrap around me. She laid my head down on her chest, stroking my hair.
Taraji: So much has happened between us, and you're still fighting for me. You never stopped fighting, and I appreciate you for that, but I can't condone it. You're about to have a baby. The movie is going to be done soon, and things will move fast once it's out. We're out of time.
Fantasia: We have all the time in the world. Time stops whenever I'm with you, don't you know that?
Taraji: It's just not realistic. I like my personal life private, but that doesn't mean that I like secrets. Secrets turn into lies real fast, and I don't want to be sneaking around with you. Kendall made it very clear that he's not letting you go, whether you want to be free from him or not. I can't deal with that. Things with Brandee feel so easy.
Fantasia: Nothing worth having comes easy. That's why you're always fighting me, because I'm worth it. She's not.
Jealousy hurts like hell. It's the worst emotion to possess, even worse than anger. At least with anger you can let it out any way you know how. With jealousy, you just have to deal with the pain and pretend that it doesn't suck to watch someone else live the life you want. I'm jealous of Brandee because she has the access to Taraji that I lost. I'm jealous of Taraji because she can move on so easily with someone new, but I'm still stuck on her. I'm jealous of anybody who's not in my position, because it's a shitty place to be in.
Taraji wiped my tears away with her thumb, her hand lingering on my cheek. She was staring into my eyes, and I knew that I had her. Even if it was for just a moment, I had her, and I was going to take advantage of the opportunity.
Fantasia: How can you do shit like this and expect me not to fall for you again? You're apart of the problem, too.
Taraji: I never said that I wasn't. I'm just trying to be apart of the solution as well, unlike you.
Fantasia: Well then stop touching me like that.
I slapped away her hand that was cupping my cheek, roughly wiping the tears in my eyes with the back of my hand.
Taraji: Stop touching you like what?
Fantasia: Like I'm yours. Fuck this shit Taraji and fuck you, too! I'm done trying! I don't know what the fuck it's going to take for you to want me back, but dammit I'm so tired of trying to figure it out! I don't care anymore! You can go play doctor with Nurse Brandee and I'm gonna raise my baby! That's how you fucking want it, so that's how it's going to go!
Taraji: You need to calm down. All this stress isn't good for the baby.
I knew that she was genuinely concerned, but for some reason the fact that her response was centered around my unborn child only pissed me off even more.
Fantasia: Are you fucking kidding me?! That's all you have to say?! You really want me to snap don't you?
Taraji: Go ahead. It's nothing I haven't already seen. I'm not scared of you, Tasia. I've dealt with crazier than you. This behavior right here is exactly why I'm not trying to make things work. One minute you're building me up, and then in the same breath you're tearing me down when you don't get what you want.
Fantasia: So then just give me what I want. Problem solved.
We stood chest to chest now, the anger radiating off of us making our bodies hot to the touch. She had to look up a little because I had about two inches on her. Her eyes flickered from my eyes to my lips and back up. Just as her face inched closer to mine, the front doors flew open. Kendall was standing there, and he looked pissed.