This wonderful one-shot is written by mle160 (:
"I can't look at the stars, they make me wonder where you are"
~Grace Potter, Stars
It's amazing how three words can change your entire life. How they can make you bleed, rip you open, and crush your lungs all in a single phrase -- all with the smallest movements of lips.
"I'm leaving tonight."
Those words weren't I love you's, they were goodbyes -- and I wouldn't be saying goodbye to Evan -- not now, not ever.
We were lying on the bed of his pickup truck now, his arm wrapped around my waist, and my head pressed against his chest as we gazed at the stars as they glazed over with blue -- at this very moment we were watching a star die.
I think it was now, that I finally found some sense to react to the words Evan had just said, and then I did something I thought I'd never do in this situation.
I laughed.
"That's a good one -- we have three more weeks left -- you said we had three more weeks left."
I felt the air he was holding release for a moment, but the tension Evan's shoulders never resided, to the point where it had started to become uncomfortable to lay atop him.
This is what made me pick up my head at that very moment. I gazed into his eyes, knowing that they were so much more beautiful than the stars that surrounded us. They were green, but the iris was almost suffocated by the black that was left succumbing into his eyes. I knew the answer even before the words left my mouth, "You are kidding right."
Evan swallowed hard, and his hand crept up to cup my cheek, and I involuntarily leaned into his embrace, "Maggie, I-"
"No," I practically shouted, sitting up and as far away from him as I could possibly have handled, "I don't want to hear it again -- you are staying, and that is that. Either you stay or I go with you, but do not start talking like this is the last time you'll see me."
He stayed silent this time, looking at me now, and taking my hand in his, "That's not what I'm saying, Mags, it's just -- it's my dad, he's sick and I don't want to Emma all alone to take care of him."
A crease formed in the middle of my eyebrows, "So you're coming back then? After your fathers well I mean."
My hand was dropped from Evan's, and his gaze swept across to my fingers, as he mindlessly began playing with them with his own, "I got an acceptance letter from Ohio state two weeks ago, they want me to start early classes at the end of August."
"What? An acceptance letter? Why didn't you tell me!"
"Maggie, I know I should've but--"
Thunder crackled in the distance as my hand connected with the side of his cheek -- maybe, that was something I never would have done at this moment -- but with all the emotions that were bottling up inside me, and I could barely control myself.
I glanced down at my palm which was stinging red as words began to pour out of my mouth, "You knew about this for two weeks and you didn't tell me? How-how is this possible? You told me, you told me that you’d stay with me, Evan. How can I stay with you if we'll never see each other again?"
I shoved at his chest, as he tried to comes towards me, and it was now that I realized that I had started to back away from him and into the field.
My blood boiling, I continued, "I need you, Cody needs you, god, damn Ocala needs you. I don't know who I am without you near me, Evan, I don't know who I'll ever be. You can't leave me like this, you asshole! You can't-"
As I was trapped in his arms, I relentlessly sent shoves into his chest, until his lips pressed mine and I felt my body go weak in his arms.
He rested his forehead on mine, after what felt like an eternity and back, as his whispers were strong enough to seep into my bones. "I'll never leave you, Maggie Harris, and I'll never stop loving you. You hear that? Never, ever, ever, ever. Not until the day I die. And if I die? You better watch out, because I'll kick the crap out of anyone who tries to even look at you."
I couldn't help but chuckle, even if I could only hear it, but Evan's voice was louder than mine, and his words never stopped reaching my ears, "You are my forever, Maggie Harris."
My lips collided with his and for the rest of the night, that's all it ever was -- that, and rain had soaked us from every inch of our bodies to bone. It danced in our hair, against our skin, and drenched our lips that were swollen and soft.
My cheeks however, never dried, even when the rain relinquished.
Maybe I was crying, maybe I wasn't - hell, who knows -- but the question would remain unanswered, regardless on whether or not it was true.
Because when it rains in Ocala, you can never distinguish your teardrops from the rain.