The following weeks proved to be awkward for both Jennie and Lisa. Neither of them broached the subject of their night together for obvious reasons, they both believed the other thought it a mistake. As per their agreement the night of GD's attack on Jennie, they waited until after the holidays were over before filing for legal separation, and then divorce. While Jennie planned her future without her wife in the days leading up to it, Lisa searched for a way to win her love before it was too late.
Over Christmas break, Ella returned home from college. She noticed something was off between her sister and Sister-in-law, but did not bring it up, figuring Jennie would tell her if something was wrong. And the night before she left for New York, it happened.
"Ella, can we talk?" Jennie asked, entering her sister's bedroom.
"Sure. Oh geez, you're wearing 'something face,' Ella noted. "What's going on? And don't you dare say nothing because I can tell there's something big going down. You and Lisa have been acting wacky the last three weeks I've been here."
She nodded her head. It was the moment of truth, the day she'd finally tell her younger sister everything. "I think maybe you'd better sit down for this."
Ella did as she was told. "Is it Jisoo? She's okay, isn't she?"
"Jisoo is fine. This is about me." Jennie sat down next to her on the bed. "This coming Friday, Lisa and I are getting divorced. Or, filing for it at least."
The younger Kim sister sat in silence for a few moments before saying anything in response. "Divorced?"
"Well, we're filing for legal separation first. And I am moving back into the house with Jisoo that day. I've started packing up some of your belongings and putting them in your old room."
"I don't understand. I thought you were happy here," Ella commented.
Jennie frowned, looking at the floor. "I have been happy, very happy. It's been the happiest three years of my life. But Lisa and I decided it's time to go our separate ways. The last two months have been awkward to say the least. She and I have just grown apart rather than together."
"Don't you love Lisa?"
"That's not the point, Ella."
"I think it is. The poor girl deserves to know if she has a fighting chance with you. If you love her, you can make your so-called marriage work."
She lifted her head, gazing at her younger sister. "What do you mean by 'so-called marriage'?"
"I'm not stupid, Jennie. Maybe when I was fifteen I fell for it, but I'm eighteen now and I know about the real world. And a married couple deeply in love with one another doesn't sleep in separate bedrooms."
"You knew this whole time?" Jennie wanted to know.
Ella shook her head. "No. Not the whole time. About six months before I left for NYU, I got up for a drink of water around two in the morning and Lisa was coming up the stairs. she looked really tired so I decided to wait until after she went into your room because I knew she'd want to talk. I waited, and I saw her go into the spare bedroom. I didn't think much of it and got my water; I thought she'd left something there. When I came back upstairs a few minutes later, I checked the spare room and low and behold, Lisa was fast asleep.
"At first I thought you two had had a fight or something. I checked it night after night after night. Something was definitely up and I knew it. Jisoo absolutely refused to tell me anything when I questioned her; she told me to ask you. And I'm going to do that now. Why? Why were you pretending to be married to Lisa? Why are you sleeping in separate bedrooms?"
"We aren't pretending to be married. By law, she and I are partner."
"Yeah, I know that. I was there, remember? Fine then, let me ask a better question. If you and Lisa weren't in love, why did you get married in the first place?" Ella paused. "It wasn't because of me, was it? Because of the way I was acting after Mom and Dad died?"
Jennie sighed heavily. "I did it for you and Jisoo, not for me. Jisoo needed a lawyer and you needed a stable home life, and I couldn't give either of you what you needed. I felt so helpless for not being the best sister and provider for my family. After Jisoo got arrested, she told me how much she hated her lawyer and asked me to find her another one; one who wanted what she wanted.
"I remembered Lisa from a lecture she gave in one of my classes the year before. So I stopped by her office and asked for her help with Jisoo's case." Jennie laughed softly. "I practically begged her to take the case. And she agreed under one condition, that I marry her. See, her uncle died a few weeks prior to that and left her a large sum of money in her will if Lisa married by the age of thirty-one and stayed married for three years. She knew I couldn't afford to pay for her services, so she offered me the trade-off: I marry her for those three years in name-only so she could get her inheritance, and she would defend Jisoo for murder. It was a win-win situation for both of us."
"Let me guess. Now that the three years is up, you two are ready to move on. But I don't get why you waited until now. Why not file for legal separation right after your anniversary?"
"We were going to. On our three year anniversary, GD came to the house and attacked me. I guess she and Lisa had some unresolved issues and GD decided to get back at Lisa by trying to force himself on me," Jennie admitted. She hated thinking about it, much less talking about it.
Ella gaped at her in shock and dismay. "He tried to rape you? Oh my god, Jennie. Are you okay?"
"I'm fine now. Lisa got home in time and managed to stop him before he did any major damage. I just had a black eye and some nightmares for a couple weeks. Lisa was a huge comfort to me the days after it happened." Jennie didn't want to reveal to her sister that she and Lisa ended up sleeping together the next night. "So we agreed to wait until after the holidays before ending the marriage. It gave me some time to heal."
"Have you talked things through with her? I mean, is this what you both really want?" questioned the eighteen-year-old.
"Of course it is. It's what she and I agreed on."
"I know that. But I think poor Lisa deserves to know the truth. She should know that you love her."
Jennie widened her eyes at her sister's statement. "Excuse me? Where did you hear that? I never said anything about being in love with her."
"You didn't have to say it, it's written all over your face. Jennie, you get this far-off look in your eyes whenever you talk about her, you smile whenever you say her name. Why won't you admit it? Tell her you love her."
"No. I won't. I can't. I am not going to make a fool out of myself." she thought.
"Who says you'll make a fool of yourself?"
"Lisa doesn't love me, Ella. If I tell her that I love her, she's going to think I want to stay married to her for the money; that I'm trying to cling to her," Jennie explained.
Ella shook her head, sighing at her sister's stubbornness. "She won't think that. Trust me on this. Haven't you seen her look at you? God, she looks at you the same way Dad used to look at Mom. With total love in her eyes."
"You're seeing things."
"Then prove me wrong. Ask her."
"I don't have to. Look, I only came in here to tell you the truth about my marriage and what's to come, not discuss my lack of a love life. I hope you don't hold it against me for not telling you sooner."
She smiled. "You had your reasons. But I wish you'd tell Lisa how you feel. If you don't, you'll end up breaking her heart and yours as well."
"I've lived with a broken heart before, I think I can survive it." She stood up and was immediately overcome with dizziness.
Ella noticed her sister wobbling. "Are you okay, Jennie?"
"Yeah. I stood up too quickly. I think I'm going to lay down for a little while. I haven't been feeling that great lately."
"You've been doing that a lot lately. Laying down, that is."
"I've been under a lot of stress these past few days. It's finally catching up with me."
"You should go to the doctor, you might be coming down with the flu or something. Dizziness, sleeping, nausea...you know, if I didn't know any better, I'd swear you were pregnant. You've got all the classic symptoms. But that's not possible. It's the flu, I bet," Ella mused.
*****
Friday morning came around much too quickly for both Jennie and Lisa. Neither of them felt prepared for what would happen; it was a turning point in both their lives. It signified the end of their marriage and the beginning of their futures.
Lisa sat silently in the kitchen when Jennie walked in, dressed in a terrycloth robe and slippers. "Morning," she greeted her.
Jennie turned around, her skin becoming pale when she laid eyes on her husband. "I didn't know you were down here. I thought you would have left to see your lawyer by now."
"My appointment isn't for another hour. Besides, Henry's never been on time a day in his life. I could show up an hour late and it wouldn't throw him off his schedule whatsoever."
"Oh. Well, I'm just gonna grab a glass of orange juice and finish packing up my things. I should be gone before you get back," Jennie told her.
"There's no hurry, Jennie. You can stay as long as you want." 'Stay forever if you want to,' Lisa thought.
She shook her head. "That's really kind of you, Lisa, but you don't have to worry. I'll be out of your hair in another two hours. Then we can put these last three years behind us."
"I don't want you to think I'm kicking you out. I'm not. This is your home, I'm not forcing you to leave."
Jennie poured herself a glass of juice and took a sip. "I don't think that. I know you're going out of your way to make this transition as easy as possible, and I really appreciate it. But I'm sure you are anxious to get your freedom back."
"Not really," she admitted honestly. "I've loved being married to you these past three years."
"It hasn't been all bad. Married life has been great up through the last few months."
"I wouldn't trade a minute of it. I'm glad you walked into my office that day, Jennie. You changed my life forever. And I am a much better person because of you."
"So am I." Jennie placed her glass in the dishwasher. "I guess I'll see you soon."
As she headed out of the room, Lisa called out to her. "Jennie." She looked at her. "I am going to miss this. Not seeing you every day is going to be so hard."
Jennie smiled softly at her. "I know. But we'll move on. Goodbye, Lisa."
"Goodbye, Jennie."
Lisa sat staring into her cup of coffee, berating herself for not telling Jennie how she felt. And Lisa never saw the tears in her wife eyes as she left the room.
****
Lisa pulled into the parking lot of her law firm with ten minutes to spare before her appointment with the divorce lawyer. She used the time to collect her thoughts and ponder why she couldn't win over the woman she loved. After spending two months trying her best to prove her love to Jennie, nothing had worked. Flowers, candy, dinners; nothing convinced her of her true feelings.
'What did I do wrong? I did everything short of screaming it for the whole world to hear how much I'm in love with her.'
Nervousness, fear, or possibly a combination of both led Lisa to fiddle with the buttons on her car radio. Just as a song was starting. Lisa listened to the words.
You're the reason my heart skips, drops
Just a little touch, my world stops
Finally, I know that you're mine
I don't wanna fall
Don't wanna play this game of love, oh-eh-oh
There's nowhere to hide
I really like it
Nothin' in the world can make me feel the way you do the things you do
I really like it
Nothin' in the world can make me feel the way you do the things you do
I love you and me, dancing in the moonlight
Nobody can see, lt's just you and me tonight
I love you and me, dancing in the moonlight
Nobody can see, lt's just you and me tonight
Look at you, now look at me
How you ever, ever gonna find someone like this?
Look at you, now look at me
How you ever, ever gonna find someone like this?
(Ever, ever gonna find someone like this)
(Someone like this)
The words hit closer to home than she ever thought possible. It was as if it were a sign, telling her to go back and pour out her heart and soul to Jennie, regardless of the consequences. She may suffer a broken heart, but at least she would have fought for the woman she loved.
Casting her eyes to the building in front of her, Lisa exhaled a breath she didn't realize she was holding. Putting the car in reverse, she sped back to the house, hoping against all hope that Jennie would still be there.
******
Splashing cool water on her face, Jennie stared at herself in the mirror inside the bathroom. "Calm down, Jennie, you'll get through this. You've lived through worse. Oh god, how am I supposed to get through this? Especially alone."
She could hear the radio from inside her bedroom. The song playing was a sad one, but it fit her mood perfectly. The songwriter might have had that particular moment in mind when she wrote it.
You're the reason my heart skips, drops
Just a little touch, my world stops
Finally, I know that you're mine
I don't wanna fall
Don't wanna play this game of love, oh-eh-oh
There's nowhere to hide
I really like it
Nothin' in the world can make me feel the way you do the things you do
I really like it
Nothin' in the world can make me feel the way you do the things you do
I love you and me, dancing in the moonlight
Nobody can see, lt's just you and me tonight
I love you and me, dancing in the moonlight
Nobody can see, lt's just you and me tonight
Look at you, now look at me
How you ever, ever gonna find someone like this?
Look at you, now look at me
How you ever, ever gonna find someone like this?
Walking back in her room, Jennie turned the radio off in aggravation. The last thing she wanted to hear was a depressing love song reminding her of how she had absolutely no chance of being with the girl she truly loved. With a trembling hand, she removed her engagement and wedding rings, placing them on the bedside table.
"Goodbye, my Lisa. I'll never stop loving you."
*****
Lisa burst through the front door, hoping she'd made it home in time. Jennie's car still sat in the driveway, so she had reason to believe she hadn't left yet. she bounded up the stairs toward her bedroom, yelling her name over and over again. "Jennie! Jennie!"
She heard her shouting and walked into the hallway to find out what was going on. "Lisa? What's wrong?"
She never replied to her, pulling her into her arms instead and capturing her lips with her. Lisa poured her heart and soul into the kiss, leaving Jennie weak in the knees when it was over. They stared into each other's eyes for a long time before Jennie finally spoke.
"What's going on? Is something wrong?" she asked. The kiss took her by surprise; it was the last thing she ever expected from her.
Lisa shook her head, her lips curling into a smile. "Nothing's wrong. In fact, everything is right." she grabbed her hands and led her into her bedroom.
"Lisa! Would you kindly explain to me what's going on? You're supposed to be meeting with Henry right now about filing for divorce. Why are you here?" Jennie demanded.
"Because there is something you need to know; something I've been holding in for far too long, Jennie. You deserve to know the truth."
She raised her eyebrows. "Truth? What truth are you talking about?"
"The truth about me and how I feel. Look, I'm not very good at expressing my feelings; I'm one of those people who keeps things bottled in. But if I don't say this, I might lose the most important person in my life. You, Jennie. And at this point in time, I don't know how to live without you, nor do I want to. I can't think of any other way of saying it except to just come right out and say it. Usually I'm good with words, but you always manage to leave me tongue-tied. Anyway, here goes. I love you. I've loved you for years and I'll continue to do so for the rest of my natural life. The night we made love, I meant every single word I said to you."
"I don't know where you got the idea that I regret that night, but you are wrong. Dead wrong. That night meant everything in the world to me, just like you do. And the thought of spending the rest of my life without you is frightening. I want to spend my life making you happy, not being miserable without you."
Lisa reached into her pocket and pulled out the ring she had planned on returning that afternoon after her meeting. "This isn't how I wanted to do this. I had more of a romantic setting in mind, but circumstances beyond my control kept it from happening. Believe it or not, I planned on doing this the night GD attacked you, then again, the day after we made love. Nothing is going to stop me this time."
She took a deep breath. "I love you, Jennie Ruby Jane Kim. I want to fall asleep next to you every night and wake up next to you every morning." Getting down on one knee, Lisa showed her the engagement ring she held in her hand. "I would be the happiest girl in the world if you'd marry me for real."
Jennie gaped at her, seeing for the first time the love radiating from her brown eyes. 'They were right. Jisoo and Ella saw it, but I never could. How could I have been so blind?' "I'm so sorry, Lisa."
"You're saying no," Lisa deduced.
When she started to stand up, Jennie stopped her. "That's not what I'm saying. I'm sorry for the way I've been acting. I only said I didn't love you because I thought that's what you wanted to hear. Lisa, I meant it when I said I loved you. And yes, I will marry you for real. There's nothing I want more than to be your wife. Again. Or still. Or...just yes! Yes, I want to marry you!"
Lisa placed the ring on its rightful finger, lifting her wife into her arms for another kiss. "This time we're going to have a real wedding. In a church with flowers and music and our family and friends. I'll make this the wedding of your dreams."
Jennie touched her cheek with her palm. "I know you will."
"We should call everyone and tell them the good news."
"It can wait a little while. There is something I need to tell you first. Lisa, I'm late."
Lisa shrugged her shoulders. "So what? Whatever it is, you can be late for it. This is more important than some meeting or a flight or whatever you're late for," she told her.
"That's not the kind of late I mean." Jennie went into the bathroom, returning ten seconds later with a white stick in her hand. "This kind of late."
Lisa stared at it. "That is....that's a pregnancy test, isn't it?"
Jennie nodded her head. "Uh-huh. And it's positive."
"You're pregnant."
"I have to go to the doctor to be sure, but yeah, I think I am. According to Ella, I have all the classic symptoms. And if I am, I'm two months along."
"We're gonna have a baby," Lisa stated.
"More than likely."
Lisa bit her lip and closed her eyes. Never before in her life had she felt so complete. "I love you, Jennie. I should have said it a long time ago. And I can't wait to have children with you. I'll be a great Daddy."
"I know you will; I've already seen it by the way you were with Ella. Now come on, let's celebrate our official engagement."
.
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The End ... Thank you for reading. See U in my next project.