It's Graduation Day, and if I had to guess a day my mom has probably been waiting for my entire teenage life. A day of dresses and makeup and fancy hair, she's hired a photographer and catering, the house is strung with streamers and balloons. She must have gotten up at the crack of dawn to have all of this done and it's only 10 am. What started out as a small get together for the track team turned into my parents so generously offering to host the after party for the entire graduating class.
"Katy, hey can you head out back and show the guy from the party rental place where he can set up the volleyball nets."
I shake my head, "Volleyball nets? Mom whose going to be playing volleyball at an afterparty?"
"You never know, I want there to be enough for everyone."
Enough for the majority of graduating seventeen- and eighteen-year-old's would be an unsupervised party with free booze and food. I'm already mortified that my parents will be here let alone the circus she's arranging.
"Mom, please don't embarrass me tonight?"
My comment takes her aback, and I instantly feel guilty because I know it's all coming from a good place it's just...a lot, "Sorry, just don't worry okay, I'm sure everything will be perfect."
When I walk into the back yard, I cringe at how overboard she's gone, there is a life size chess board in the far corner, a photo booth, DJ stand, a dozen massive white tents lined with tables and chairs and silky white tablecloths...she even got a dance floor...a friggen dance floor.
"Isn't it great," she walks up beside me and puts her arm around my waist, "I even hired a few lifeguards to standby in case anyone wants to go for a night swim."
"Mommmm!"
"What? It's been unusually warm for May, and I want" ...she pauses, lifting her face to the warm morning sun and closes her eyes, I hear her inhale deeply and a smile pulls at the corners of her mouth, "I want this to be a night to remember."
After a two-hour ceremony and what felt like a paparazzi photo montage, I'm finally back at home changing into a more practical outfit before everyone arrives. I don't even see the point of having worn this dress since it was covered up by a long gown the entire night.
I put on a white tank top and a pair of baby blue linen wide leg pants, and I instantly feel more like myself.
When I walk downstairs Leah is already here, she's wearing her second dress of the night. A short little white thing that hugs all the right places, maybe if I had a body like her I'd consider it but there is nothing for the material to cling to.
"Okay that's cute, I guess I approve," she says.
"Oh Katy, I wish you didn't have to change, or at least change into a cute dress like Leah's" my mom sulks.
"Mom, I made you a deal,"
"Oh, I remember, no pink and a no more than three hours," she says mocking me.
I don't know why it annoys me so much, maybe because I am already bothered by her overbearing grad party takeover but I can't stand to watch her gawk over Leah any more.
"So sorry I can't be more like Leah," I whine childlike, then walk out to the back yard where my dad is helping the caterer put out the trays of food. I will admit, but never to her that the backyard does look pretty. I try to remind myself she did this all for me and I shouldn't act like such a brat.
"If this is what she does for your graduation, wait till you get married." Jake says squeezing into the doorway beside me and laughing.
"I know I can't imagine."
"Well, have fun tonight I'm sleeping over at Noah's."
"Lucky you, ok see you tomorrow."
The sun begins to set, and now that its dusky and the string lights are glowing everything feels less intimidating. As I look around people seem to be having a good time and there is no one making fun of the extravagant set up. I finally exhale with relief; I might just be able to relax. I spot Leah in a crowd and walk over, before noticing she is standing next to Josh.
I awkwardly make my way into the circle when she wraps her arm around me, "This is amazing, your mom did such a great job!"
"Yeah, I guess she did," I agree.
"Hey Katy," Josh says, "congrats on the athletic award."
"My girl slays," Leah shouts, she's almost as embarrassing as my mom.
"Yeah, congrats to you too."
We smile at each other but then he looks away, he's painfully shy and a part of me likes it, but part of me finds it impatient. Everything in me is just screaming to let loose and have fun, who cares if my parents are here, who cares if Josh is too scared to make a move, who cares who cares who cares! None of this will even matter because six months from now I'll living my own life doing what I want how I want when I want.
"Let's go get some food," Leah grabs my arm and drags me away, "oh Joshy," she sighs to me, "don't worry about him, there will be plenty of fish in the sea at St. Mary's."
"I'm not worried," I laugh, "I just want to have fun tonight."
"Yeah?" she looks up at me, "well I know how we can have some fun." She pulls me behind the shed in the far corner of my back yard where there is a small cooler bag stashed in the grass. She opens and pulls out a bottle of vodka and smirks.
"You're such a bad influence on me," I tease her, "where did you get that?"
"I took it from my mom's cabinet, I figure its Grad and we have permission to fall off the wagon for one night."
We take turns drinking from the bottle and chase it down with a can of ginger ale, "Oh my god this is disgusting."
"It is," her face puckers tightly, "maybe juice would be better?"
"How should I know?" And we both burst out laughing. We are equally inexperienced in this, pretty much the entire girls track team are veterans when it comes to drinking.
We pour our vodka into solo cups and go in search of something better to mix it with. My head feels fuzzy and light. I can see my mom through the kitchen window, she is keeping her distance respectfully and I suddenly want to go in and hug her and thank her for my party.
We make our way to the photo booth, Leah chooses a pink furry boa and wraps it around her neck, and I put on oversized glasses and a top hat. We squeeze onto the small bench laughing as it flashes over and over, just as were getting ready to pose for the next picture Leah hops out to look for a different prop.
I wait sipping my vodka and fruit punch and realize I don't even know how many I've had, and I don't totally feel attached to my body anymore. I guess this is what drunk feels like.
The curtain ruffles but it's not Leah that comes in its Josh, he has a lazy smirk on his face, and he scooches in next to me.
"Hey, mind if we get one together?"
As he leans in, I can smell the alcohol on his breath, "Sure."
He steals my hat and places it on his head, his short brown hair barely peeking through the bottom.
I feel his arm wrap around me, "Three, two, one," he says, but instead of looking toward the flashing light he turns and pushes his lips into mine, heavy and warm his tongue parts my mouth. I pause for a moment because it catches me off guard, but I let him continue to kiss me. I don't mind it, but I don't love it. My head spins and not in the light way it did earlier suddenly I become too aware of his mouth, his teeth, his saliva, and...
I pull away quickly, "I have to go."
"Sorry," he says, "I shouldn't have just done that, it's just I've wanted to do that all year and I..."
"It's okay Josh, really..." my mouth waters and I feel a lump rising in the base of my throat.
"So, do you..." he continues.
"I really have to—" but there's no time and I heave forward throwing up all over the floor of the photo booth, and his feet.
"Holy shit," he winces and flings himself away from me.
"Oh my god, I'm so sorry," I call after him.
"Katy? Oh no Katy," Leah says poking her head in and cringing, "oh no we gotta get this cleaned up."
"I just barfed on Josh's shoes Leah, barfed, he was kissing me...and I.."
"Oh boy, " she winces trying not to gag.
Big fat raindrops begin to fall from the sky, falling onto my head, my face, washing away the vomit left over on my pants. Luckily there aren't too many people around, but even as I scan the crowd Josh is nowhere to be seen. What I do see though, is my mom running out into the yard with an umbrella.
"Oh shoot, this wasn't on the radar," she frowns as people begin to retreat some running under the tents for shelter, "Listen everyone there are shuttles out front I don't want anyone driving, " she shouts over the music.
Suddenly the entire thing seems hysterical, and I begin to laugh uncontrollably. Of all the times I choose to drink I do so while my parents are ten steps away and then I kiss a boy I've secretly had a crush on for months and throw up all over him embarrassing myself in the process. And now because...why not we get hit with a random tsunami. The party I never wanted is ruined.
I'm laughing so hard I'm crying, and I don't know why I am crying I really don't care but I can't seem to stop myself.
"Oh sweetie," my mom says running over to me holding the umbrella over my head, "sorry the party got cut short," she clicks her tongue, "stupid lying weather man, but," she smiles, "there's no need to cry, why are you cry—" she freezes, her hazel eyes zone into my face, she sniffs, and I see it register, "have you been drinking...are you, drunk?"
"No," I sniffle, "well maybe, oh what the heck... yeah a little."
"Katarina Grace Stevens!"
"I'm sorrrrry," I drawl, "but it's Graduation, and I'm seventeen mom... and...I.. I just wanted to have fun...but then I kissed Josh and--"
My mom's eyes widen, "Okay, let's get you inside," she wraps her arm around me, "So, Josh hmm...I've always liked that boy."
I cry, "No, it's not good mom I barfed on his feet."
"Well," she chuckles, "that's what happens when you drink too much."
Leah shuffles silently behind us, "Come on you too, get under here," my mom motions for her to join us beneath the umbrella, "and what about you, are you maybe, or just a little drunk too?"
"Maybe..."
We hold our breath but then my mom starts laughing, "Oh girls, you know you could have just asked me...I was your age once too."
"I'm sorry mom."
"I'm sorry Mrs. S, it was my idea...I'm the one that brought it." Leah says.
"I am not naïve to know there were people drinking here tonight, that's why we paid for the shuttle service...I'm not mad at you," she pauses looking over at Leah, "but you're my eyes and ears when I can't be there," then she looks over to me and her face falls serious, "she's my heart, and I need you to always look out for her especially next year." Her eyes flutter quickly, and it looks as though she might cry.
"I will, always." Leah says, linking her arm through my moms and resting her head against her shoulder.
Something about the look on my mom's face sobers me and I feel the need to touch her, tell her I love her and remind her I'm thankful, "I love you mom, tonight...minus the throwing up part was perfect." I wrap my arm through hers and she kisses my forehead. Everyone else has left. The three of us walk back to the house soaking wet, through the sopping grass, the tents dripping blankets of rain, the dance floor flooded, yet my mom could care less. She squeezes my arm and looks at me gently, "Now, tell me everything...I want to hear all about Josh."
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