"To think that the great Stevie Powell got detention," started Liam with an overdramatic look of alarm. "What is this world coming to?"
Ashton cracked up at the act while I rolled my eyes.
"But to give out punishments for making a 'disrespectful look' is absolutely ridiculous. What the heck crawled up his arse?"
"Hell if I knew." I muttered.
An irrational man-child of a school teacher was the least of my concerns. Right now, I was channeling all focus on remaining calm. I needed to keep a calm pretense. Reviewing that neither of my friends had given me any sort of looks since meeting up, I was doing a good job. All I needed was time for the rage beneath to simmer down.
Hess had said a load of bull.
It had to be. No matter how intoxicated I was, I would never throw away my virginity with a complete stranger- much less him.
Then there was the fact of evidence. There would've been some evidence left if I had done it. Definitely. Finally, there was Garren.
The details were unclear, but I was certain I was with him throughout that time. He wouldn't leave me to go off with some guy alone at his own party.
Would he?
My stomach churned. I instinctively placed a hand on it, Ash and Liam too busy making gooey eyes at one another to notice it. I hated this.
I hated how I'd carelessly tampered with my own memory and caused this weakness to myself. Then I'd stupidly opened it to Hess. I shouldn't have panicked. Whether there was any fraction of that night I interacted with him, he could say whatever he liked and I couldn't call him out.
The only way to remove all doubt, was to get the truth. I had very few ideas on that. Even less on why the prick was tormenting me. What had I ever done to him? Or did this have to do with Shaun?
My head was growing dizzy. I carefully placed one foot in front of the other as the mass of students proceeded to the auditorium. I was glad our regular classes were being intervened for this speech segment by Ivanov. Perhaps I'd get some clues on what or who this target was and better yet, a suitable distraction from Hess' mind games.
The segment turned out to be for promoting an independent gala Ivanov and three other female students from Parr organised to fund a research lab purposed to improve the beneficiary in diets and natural nutrients for the human body.
Seemed a bit too precise to be just an excuse, so I had to acknowledge her ways of using this to her advantage.
I found the custom bands quite interesting too. They were the means of tickets to access entry to the Harmonia Gala, as it was called. Then also, the bands were built in monitors to track your pulse rate and for glamour, a pixilated avatar would flash on a screen to represent your stability.
It definitely hooked a large margin of the crowd, myself included but ultimately, it shed no light on who her target was.
"I am so definitely going to that gala." beamed Ashton. "Liam, clear your schedule because you're taking me."
He nodded. "No prob."
"I thought you found that stuff boring." I recalled. He'd usually beg Ashton or me to make up an excuse whenever his folks tried to drag him to one of their company relations events.
"I do but it sounds better than being forced to watch whatever movies my nagging girlfriend wants." He answered.
Ashton balled her hand to a fist to strike but Liam artfully caught it and secured it around his waist. Ashton instinctively leaned into his hold.
They were becoming casual about displaying their affection a lot more earlier than I'd anticipated. Not that it bothered me.
If I played my cards right, Shaun and I could be in their positions- lost in our own world of love.
The teachers panelled the rows in means for each section to smoothly vacate the auditorium. By the east side of the stage, there was a stand to purchase the special band instead of through postal shipment.
Ashton was ecstatic to get the advance, dragging to two of us to the expanding pack pouncing. "I'm getting three."
"Three? You do know you've only got two wrists, right?" Liam reminded her.
"Yeah, but I'm getting one for Peaches."
"Your dog?"
"No, my accountant. Yes, my dog."
He merely rolled his eyes with a smile on hanging on his lips. The queue moved at a moderate pace that had me noting this as an all new record in late attendances to class.
"Hey, I was thinking, why don't you try asking Shaun to take you to the gala? Like, together?" Liam suggested.
"Oh yeah! That's a great idea,” agreed Ashton. "Stevie, don't you dare say you can't. A girl can make a move too, y'know."
"I know." I assured her. "But I couldn't, even if I wanted to. He won't be back from joining his dad on this overseas business trip before then."
"Oh, well fuck that. I thought we could go in like, pairs." Ashton sulked.
The two had been close to jumping when I'd broken the news of the date to them. I felt great to see other people happy for me. Though, I was partly relieved Shaun wouldn't be present during this delicate period before our first date. Knowing these two, they'd use any opportunity to tease.
"But we've at least got to go dress shopping- no question." declared Ash. "We'll steal the show and you can look great, then send pics to Shaun. It'll be like a peek to let him see what's in store for the actual day."
Liam bobbed his head, impressed. "Good thinking."
"Yeah, lemme me get back to you on that." I said. "Um, since there's not really much reason for me to be standing here, I'll be going."
Before either could start a protest, I took a large step from the column of bodies lined up. Taking their places in the queue, they weren't going to risk it to come after me and I made a beeline out of the vicinity.
I truly wanted to do that shopping trip, Gala or not. That was the sort of thing I'd always wanted to experience but it wouldn't be proper to attend the event when I wasn't going to donate to the cause. Now that was going too far.
The neatly folded and ironed outfit Ms. Dion bought with its dazzling pearl earrings that were tucked away in my wardrobe flashed through my mind. I immediately renounced it. They'd fetch a nice sum but there was one issue; every fibre of my being did not want to give them away.
I didn't want to part with it even for a humanitarian cause.
I tried to look at it objectively. It wasn't about them being really pretty- no, it wasn't the superficial attachment. I, for the first time felt wholly satisfied with myself in them. I loved what I saw. I loved who I saw. Those clothes were a memento of that, so they weren't going to any pawn shop. No way.
I ransacked my brain once more. Would it really be the worst thing to simply attend for the fun of it? It wasn't like they'd kick me out. I mean, how would they have even known? More so, Ashton and Liam knew very well about my touchy financial state but were expecting me to come— surely, this had crossed their mind too. Meaning, I was all good in coming freely.
**
There was a needed detour to the main academy library to catch Will who had promised an update on Garren's lunch date. How he acquired this info so quickly, I refrained from questioning.
Will was blatantly pleased to tell me Garren and Ivanov's lunch had gone with obligated pleasantries in greetings, followed by Ivanov asking standard questions about Coeus then that was where it ended. They ate in silence, any other kind of attention was reserved to their phones in hand.
"That's it? Nothing else happened?"
"Yeah." confirmed Will. "From what I heard."
I frowned. "Oh."
"What?"
"I just thought she might accidentally make a slip or tip him off on her grand scheme or something." I confessed, feeling embarrassed. "Maybe that was a little too cinematic, though?"
"Just a bit, yeah." Will agreed.
"But I don't get it. She hasn't done a single thing and her day pass is almost used up. What was the point?"
"How do you know it's only a day pass she got granted?"
"She didn't bring any luggage from the car."
"Oh, right."
"What did she come here for? Did I miss something?" I questioned. "Or... did I maybe overthink it? Maybe her 'target' was just to rope more donations for the gala."
"Possibly." Will shrugged. "That sounds more believable and not to mention, realistic. No offense."
"None taken," I said flatly.
"Hey, isn't that a good thing? No target means no trouble. Why do you look so disappointed?"
"I'm not."
Will didn't seem convinced but didn't argue on it. "Right, see you around weirdo."
He offered a gentle pat to my shoulder and a kind smile before he took the leading start off as we went our separate ways. His comment circled my mind, as little else in algebra managed to hook me.
Disappointed— did I really sound like that? Glum, maybe but that was from realising I was wrong. It was just that without the mystery, the day suddenly became... less colourful. It was dimmer somehow. More like, it had always been this way until the rush of stumbling on something new highlighted it. Now I was drastically plunged back.
To stale. To stiff. To boring.
I didn't dare utter it out loud. I didn't want to make it more real than it already was. Boring, boring, boring.
What was the point of a crafty detective if there was no shrewd murderer? A winner without a loser? Light without darkness?
The answer was that it was pointless. The same applied to sitting through a breezy lecture while my friend was busy texting her boyfriend under the desk.
I received a pardon with the excuse of needing the toilet and sauntered out of the room, no plans on coming back any time soon. Although I didn't have any plans on what to do now I was out. Exploring the garden sounded like a fitting means to pass the time but my feet began climbing upwards.
Up, further past any where I'd need to ever wander to and in the sectors where the senior's classes were held. Along with the advanced where I'd find him.
The place had a floor all to itself and a balcony holding a great view of the courtyards. Hung by the door frame was a gold plated plaque:
DO NOT DISTURB - Teaching in session-
As if I were to walk onto sacred grounds. Albeit, I subconsciously slowed my steps as I crept past the sign. The reinforced steel door provided a glass hatch to scope the interior and it looked no different than any other classroom. Except for one thing; Garren Adler was in it.
He was thankfully in frame, amongst two other students all with eyes focused on the front. Garren had an expression that looked like genuine concentration. I'd never seen it before. Did he always have that kind of face in the classes?
Then it happened. I had been staring for a while, maybe too long and too ardently that I somehow sent a telepathic signal through the glass. It was the only way I could explain it when his eyes abruptly strayed from the front, over to my direction.
At first, they flickered back, not seeming to grasp what they'd seen until mere seconds passed and he snapped them to me. Surprise unmistakable. I could only muster to raise a hand, whether to knock or wave— I wasn't sure.
Garren quickly shook his head so I froze. He looked to me and I did the same. Eventually, his lips parted and I was on the very edge, only for him to close it then face the front.
I sagged my shoulders, unclear of what he was aiming to convey there. Had I distracted him? Gotten him in trouble? Been a pest? Probably.
Yet, I waited three feet from the door. It might've been wishful thinking that made me feel my presence wasn't unwanted so I leant against the wall, playing games on my phone until I saw someone stride out of the class to remove the plaque. Subsequently, the door slid and students stepped out.
It hadn't been many and I easily spotted Garren. Unintentionally, along with Amina who had a very distinct reaction of surprise. Garren subtly nodded in motion to the balcony and I heeded, brushing past Anima's evil eye.
"Sorry if I disturbed you."
"You didn't. It's fine." He smiled, fully assuring me my feelings weren't wrong. "What are you doing here?"
"I... don't know."
I'd come with uncertainty, I hadn't given a thought to scripting a line.
"What, did you miss me?" He joked.
"Maybe."
Garren's easy-going smile faltered at that, something else surfacing in his grey eyes. "Is something wrong?"
"No and actually, that's the funny thing. Nothing's wrong, everything has been going pretty well lately." I laughed, swinging my arms. "It's weird." I pursed my lips. "I'm... weird."
Garren matched my anxious stare with nothing short of a calm disposition. "Of course you are." He replied. "Does it bother you?"
"No... kinda."
"Then let me rephrase that; do you think you'd feel better not being weird?"
I shook my head. "Too exhausting."
That earned me a chuckle. "Right?"
"How do you deal with it?" I found the courage to ask. "It's driving me crazy and it's not even been up to an hour. I don't get how you do it."
Garren leant forward, eyes sweeping down past the rails. "It's not always so bad on some days. Though I've had some pretty bad days. Will's lived through most of them and I still wonder how he hasn't just pissed off. For the most part, I have methods. I keep productive, even it's annoying. I get myself things to form as a distraction so the day passes without me counting every second."
"Distractions like what?"
"Ben."
I needed no clarification.
"Works better than pets since he can live a lot longer." said Garren. "And if you want something really fast acting, there's always getting stoned."
The sheer alarm must've been more apparent when he burst into laughter. "You should see the look on your face. I'm kidding, for crying out loud. I mean, it would work but I'm not that desperate to go endangering my health just yet."
I sighed. "That's slightly concerning."
"Don't worry, Stevie. I won't touch that stuff and leave you all alone."
There, I froze. Every single word of the English language had vanished from my head and I was no better than a fish brought out from the water. No, at least a fish could wail their fins about.
I couldn't do anything past dumbly blinking. Every inch of my body stood grounded in overwhelm.
"I promise." Before his smile could catch me, his hand did so first. There were cold but oddly, they warmed something inside me and I let out the breath I never knew I was holding back, lacing my fingers to fill the gaps in his. Like it were a jigsaw puzzle.
The feeling was nostalgic to when we stood by the balcony at his house. Recalling the party, Hess wormed his way into the mix and my stomach underwent those knots.
When Garren began to fasten our joint hands was when it settled in what I was doing and I pulled away. In the nick of time too before I lost complete control of my actions. He glanced at me, brows furrowed.
"What am I to you?" I quietly asked.
If there had been any faze at my withdrawal, Garren had buried it in a nanosecond deep before I could reach it. "What do you mean?"
"As in, do you see me as an equal or... another distraction?"
He tilted his head and each second he studied me, the faster I could feel the pounding in me drum on. "I don't know."
I swallowed to what felt excruciatingly tight. "Don't piss around with me, Garren. Be honest. How can you not know?"
"Then let me ask you this; what am I to you?"
My lips fell to a flat line there. "What?"
"Am I just a distraction to you or an equal?"
It was a diversion move. That should've been more than obvious. To avoid from answering and to stall— there was nothing else to see it as. I wasn't going to fall for the trap. Except, I came up empty. Nothing.
I'd looked and looked at him so hard, trying to wrap myself in what he was gaining from me. So what was I gaining? What did I want from Garren? Recognition? Power?
"Friends." I said. "I see you as a friend."
Garren softly smiled. "That's precious but that wasn't one of the options, Stevie."
"I know but... but I can't—"
"Can't decide, right? Good, then we're on the same page."
"Page? What page? This hasn't decided anything. We're not even on a book, this is basically being stranded."
"Is that such a bad thing?"
There again, I was left speechless and met with a shrug. "We'll be stranded together, Stevie. Won't that be fun?"
With that, he took his leave while I was rendered to simply watch his carefree retreating figure. No matter how hard I tried, I was certain I'd never see eye to eye with the boy.
When the final bell clocked in, I was very ambitious on rushing home to climb into my tub and let hot water with bubbles engulf me. I took a turn to collect a book from my locker, when a flap of paper fluttered down upon prying the compartment open.
A note.
It must've been slotted through the thin air holes. I retrieved it and eagerly read who'd conform to such a length in securing it was for my eyes only. I traced my finger along the fine cursive writing formed in ink.
Come to the Coeus garden after class.
Suddenly, the day had become less dull.